"INTOLERABLE CRUELTY" Screenplay by Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone Ethan Coen & Joel Coen Based on a story by Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone and John Romano FIRST DRAFT 3/25/97 BEVERLY HILLS STREET - NIGHT It is late night, and deserted. Engine noise approaches; headlights appear; as the car draws closer we hear singing. It is a Mercedes convertible and as it roars by, the singing -- a sloppy baritone and a giggling soprano -- whooshes by with it. We hold as another car approaches. This one is a conservative sedan, whose occupant does not sing. INSIDE THE CONVERTIBLE The middle-aged driver is in a tuxedo with a rumpled shirt and cocked bow tie. He is flushed, a Rogue forelock bouncing over his forehead, and he merrily sings "Casey Jones" along with the passenger, a young woman in a party dress who squeals, rocks with the motion of the car, and enthusiastically pipes in on the chorus. ANOTHER EMPTY STREET The convertible makes a hot turn onto the street and approaches with its singing. REVERSE The car enters and roars away. After a beat of quiet, the conservative sedan enters and recedes. BEACH We are at the Malibu Guest Quarters Motel. The singing, squealing Mercedes screeches into the lot and rocks to a halt. The young woman staggers out still giggling, and holding a half-empty bottle of champagne. The man tosses her a key with a large plastic tag. MAN Number Seven. She trots away. The man twists his rear-view mirror to look at himself. He straightens his bow tie. He puffs his bounding forelock with one finger, nods his head to make it bounce, grins approvingly, and cocks a pistol-finger at his own reflection. MAN Zing! MOTEL ROOM The man enters and looks around. The young woman's dress is tossed onto the bed but she is nowhere to be seen. The man pulls an imaginary train whistle. MAN Choo! Choo!... He looks around, in a closet, under the bed. MAN I'm a locomotive, baby! I'm the Wabash cannonball! I'm a hunka-hunka burninnnnn' love! I got fire in my boiler and a fuh -- a fuh -- He is reacting to a long leg which pokes out from behind the window curtain. A salacious smiles spreads across his lips. He pulls on the cord to draw back the curtain and reveal the young woman in red panties and a bra and a saucily cocked conductor's cap. YOUNG WOMAN Tickets, please. The man is stripping off his clothes. MAN Excuse me, Miss, is this the train to Ecsssstasy? YOUNG WOMAN Pull in your ears, Rexie -- you're comin' to a tunnel! Rex lunges at the young woman and they tumble onto the bed just as -- CRASH -- the door is kicked open and a short stocky black man built like a bulldog and wearing a porkpie hat rushes into the room with a video camera glued to his eye. He looks like Clarence Thomas with a mustache. MAN I'm gonna nail your ass! The young woman screams, clutching the sheets to her naked bosom. Rex leaps from the bed, still clad only in his chemindefer boxers, and darts around the room seeking egress. The man with the video charges around the room following Rex THE VIDEO IMAGE Rex is stumbling around the room in a panic, looking for his clothing. The camera swish-pans back to the young woman still screaming in the bed. MAN I'm gonna nail your ass!! We swish-pan back to Rex as he bends over to pick up his trousers, mooning us. MAN I'm gonna nail your ass! PULL BACK FROM THE VIDEO IMAGE To reveal that we are in the detective -- Gus Petch's -- office. GUS I nailed his ass. Faintly, from the television monitor we hear screaming and mayhem. WOMAN'S VOICE Trains... THE WOMAN Watching the monitor, MARYLIN REXROTH is a sensual beauty, with intelligence and class. She watches the monitor without expression. MARYLIN ...I thought he'd outgrown trains. Gus Petch sits behind a desk. GUS They never grow-up, lady. They just get tubby. Me, I've always had ample proportions. But it's all muscle -- I'm hard as a rock. I'm not on of these cream puff sit-behind-a desk private dicks; I'm an assnailer MARYLIN So I see. Faintly, from the monitor: VOICE I'm gonna nail your ass. We hear the Young Woman SQUEAL. Marylin reacts. MARYLIN Hard to believe that's the best he could do. GUS Probably you're the best he could do. MARYLIN Oh. Thank you. GUS You're takin' it pretty well. I seen 'em weep like they'd hired me to prove their husbands weren't fooling around. And I seen 'em celebrate. Like I just handed 'em a winning lottery ticket. Marylin turns her attention back to the screen. MARYLIN I'm just enjoying the movie. TRACKING SHOT All from the perspective of a moving automobile. The moving shots show mansions, palm trees, boutiques; we pass joggers, strolling businessmen holding cellular phones to their ears, male models working as waiters at sidewalk cafes, young women on roller blades who turn, smile, and wave at the camera. It is la dolce vita Los Angeles style. THE DRIVER A handsome, fortyish man in a town car talks into cellular phone. This is MILES MASSEY. MILES -- hello Marjory, any messages? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Have Wrigley look up Oliphant v. Oliphant for its relevance to the Chapman filing. She took the kids where? Tahoe? Which side of Tahoe. Great. If the cruise goes all the way around the lake, she left the state and she's in breach. She can't leave the state. Tell Wrigley to prepare a filing to attach everything. Primary residence, autos, stocks... (Beat) Sure. Put him through. (Beat) Hello Ross. What? She's sleeping with the nanny? Well, you're separated. She can sleep with -- is this the one you slept with? Oh. A guy? Interesting career choice. Hmmm? Yes. I know you want her dead. Everyone in your tax bracket wants their ex wives dead. EXT. BEVERLY HILLS MANSE Rex is trying his key in the front door of his house. Finding it doesn't, work he rattles the knob, then leans on the doorbell. We hear distant chimes. REX Honey! ...Honey?! Finally, through the intercom: MARYLIN Rex. Get away from the door. REX Look, Marylin, can't we have a civilized discussion about this? MARYLIN We are. And it's winding down. REX But Marylin, you know a divorce would ruin me right now. Everything I have -- everything we have -- is tied up in my business. The business is my entire life. MARYLIN Are you forgetting about the Atcheson, Topeka and the Santa Fe? REX Marylin? MARYLIN Rex. Go away. I don't want to have to sic the dogs on you. REX Dogs? From inside the house we hear the menacing sound of LARGE DOGS BARKING. LETTERING On an interior wall; it says MASSEY, MEYERSON, SLOAN & GURALNICK. A pull back shows that we are in a waiting room, and a receptionist leans over her partition to chirp at Rex Rexroth. RECEPTIONIST Mr. Massey will be right with you. INT. MASSEY MEYERSON CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Miles addresses a group of young Attorneys at the firm. MILES The problem is that everyone is willing to compromise. That's the problem with the institution of marriage -- it's based on compromise. Even through its dissolution. One attorney will try to score some points, the opposition will try to impeach. The process will find an equilibrium point determined by the skill of the opposing lawyers, and then each party will walk away with their portion of the "goodies." Some say, "Life is compromise." But at Massey Myerson we believe life is struggle and the ultimate destruction of your opponent. The Receptionist pokes her head into the conference room. RECEPTIONIST Your eleven o'clock is here. MILES Ladies and Gentlemen -- we will continue this at the Associates Meeting next Friday. In the meantime, I want you to consider this... Ivan the Terrible, Henry the VIII, Attila the Hun -- what did they have in common? As he exits. ASSOCIATE Middle names? MILES MASSEY'S OFFICE You may have seen it in the issue before last of "World of Interiors." There's a Rothko on the wall, an Elle Bleu humidor on the desk, peonies in the vase, and the diploma is from Yale. MILES Mr. Rexroth. REX Rex, please. MILES Miles Massey. Please sit, relax, and consider this office your office, your haven, your war room -- for the duration of the campaign. REX Thank you. MILES Now Rex. He leans back in the leather executive chair behind his desk, makes a steeple of his fingers, and dons his look of deepest concern. MILES -- Tell me your troubles. Rex, nervous, laughs ruefully. REX Jeez. Where do I start? Miles gives an encouraging, rueful smile in return. REX ...Well, my wife has me between a rock and a hard place. MILES That's her job. You have to respect that. REX When I first met Marylin -- Well, we were crazy about each other. Not emotionally, of course. We just couldn't keep our hands off each other. MILES Mm. REX But then... But then... Quietly. MILES Time marches on. Ardor cools. REX No. Not exactly. It didn't exactly cool. Marylin is a knock-out. And very sexy -- but -- there's a lot of it out there. MILES Ah. REX You know what I mean when I say "it." MILES Gotcha. No need to get anatomically correct with me, Rex. REX Seems like there's more of it than ever before -- MILES Well, with the expanding global population -- Let me ask you this -- your wife. Has she pursued the opportunities which must present themselves to the "knock-out, sexy woman" you described? REX I don't know. I can assume... MILES Not in court you can't. Has she retained counsel? REX I'm not sure. MILES And your wife is aware of or has evidence of your activities? REX Video. MILES Mmm... And to cut to the chase, forensically speaking -- is there a pre-nup? Rex hangs his head. Miles sighs sympathetically. MILES The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves. Well, let me ask you this: what kind of settlement do you seek? What are, for you, the parameters of the possible? REX That's the problem. I can't afford to give her anything. MILES Nothing? REX I know that sounds rough but I'm about to close on a deal to develop some mini-malls, and I'm mortgaged up to my ass. If this deal goes south, I'm ruined -- I'll lose millions. MILES So, you propose that in spite of demonstrable infidelity on your part, your unoffending wife should be tossed out on her ear? REX Well -- is that possible? Miles smiles at him. EXT. RUNNING PATH - SAN VICENTE BLVD. - MORNING Marylin power walks along the San Vicente Bike Path with her friends SARAH SORKIN and RAMONA BARCELONA. It's early, but the path is crowded with bikers, bladers, runners, power walkers, wheelchair racers etc. Ramona pushes her infant in a baby jogger. SARAH You want to come out to the beach house tomorrow? MARYLIN I didn't know Barry had a beach house. SARAH Neither did I until my lawyer found it -- quite a paper trail -- he had it in the dog's name. RAMONA (To Marylin) So who'd you hire? MARYLIN Ruth Rabino. SARAH She's a legend. Didn't she do Kravis or a Pearlman? She definitely did a Factor. MARYLIN She did a Harriman. SARAH Wow. MARYLIN In the words of my Private Investigator, we're going to nail his ass. RAMONA I've been trying to nail George's for years, but he's very careful. I'll just keep having children. I think I'm pregnant, by the way. SARAH Ramona! Don't get Mia Farrow on us. RAMONA Three is not Farrow. SARAH Who's Rex's guy? MARYLIN Miles Massey. SARAH Of Massey Myerson? MARYLIN Do you know him? SARAH By reputation. He got Ann Rumsey that cute little island of George's. RAMONA George was so impressed he hired him when he divorced his second. SARAH Muriel Rumsey. MARYLIN Who's she? SARAH Now? She's a night manager at McDonalds. RAMONA You should have tried to get pregnant Marylin -- solidify your position. MARYLIN No. RAMONA You like kids. MARYLIN I can't have a baby with a man I don't love... And I can't submit a child to divorce. SARAH It's not so bad these days. Kids like joint custody. Two sets of toys. RAMONA Maybe next time. MARYLIN Maybe. SARAH We do have a man for you. RAMONA Thorstenson Gieselensen. He just separated from his third. He's in fish. He is fish. SARAH She's keeping his name. And one of his planes. And all seven of his children RAMONA And only two are hers. MARYLIN Please. I'm not seeing anyone until this is over. One husband at a time. SARAH I wish I had your discipline. A COURTROOM We are close on the person on the witness stand, a woman in her 60's. LAWYER Mrs. Guttman, you have testified that you were your husband's sexual slave for thirty-six years, ever since you were married -- WITNESS Except for two years when he was in the Navy, in Korea. LAWYER Prior to your marriage, what was your profession? WITNESS I was a hostess. For Trans-World Airlines. LAWYER What is your husband's profession? WITNESS He manufactures staples and industrial brad-tacks. He's very successful. JUMP BACK At the counsel's table in the foreground Miles chats, voice lowered with WRIGLEY, a boyish, bespectacled junior associate. Beyond them we see the woman on the witness stand continuing her testimony. WRIGLEY Wait... He wants to give her...? MILES Nothing. WRIGLEY And she has...? MILES Video. WRIGLEY What the fuck...? Miles turns to Wrigley with a look of indignation. He gestures to their surroundings. MILES Wrigley! WRIGLEY Sorry. MILES Sometimes I have serious doubts about you. WRIGLEY I am very sorry. MILES Am I mentoring the wrong mentee? WRIGLEY No. You're not. MILES I could be mentoring Kramer. Kramer clerked for Scalia. Wrigley looks suicidal. BACKGROUND LAWYER (O.S.) Couldn't you simply walk away from this abusive relationship? WOMAN No, he had the videos... MILES Anyway, I need a challenge. This -- He waves dismissively at the courtroom. MILES -- is not a challenge. I need something I can sink my teeth into, professionally speaking. WOMAN He would invite these girls home from the staple factory to our condominium in Palm Springs. He had a device he called the Intruder. JUDGE Mr. Massey! I ask again, if you have any questions for the complainant. MILES I'm sorry, your honor, I was just conferring with my associate... He rises. MILES Now then, Mrs. Guttman. Do you know a gentleman named Morris Rudnick? MRS. GUTTMAN Well, yes, Morris is my accountant. MILES (sadly) Accountant. He reaches back and Wrigley puts a manila file in his hand. MILES We would like to offer these photographs into evidence... WAITING ROOM - MASSEY MEYSERSON The receptionist leans over her partition to chirp at Marylin and her attorney Ruth Rabinow. Ruth is a sturdy woman in her late 60's. If Mrs. Guttman had gone to law school... RECEPTIONIST Mr. Massey will see you now. CONFERENCE ROOM In the middle of the Massy Meyerson conference table is a large fruit and pastry plate. The door swings open. Miles rises. MILES ...Ruth! They shake hands. MILES -- Ruth Rabinow, this is Rex Rexroth. And you must be Mrs. Rexroth. MARYLIN And you must be Mr. Massey. They appraise each other for a beat. They are impressed and, they are impressive. As they settle in: MARYLIN (Sadly) Hello, Rex. REX Marylin. MARYLIN Are you alright? You lost weight. REX My whole metabolism is -- off. Miles has been staring at Marylin. She notices this, and smiles shyly. He snaps out of it. MILES So, Ruth. How's Sam? RUTH Sam is Sam. He's taking up fly fishing. He's in a yert in Montana. MILES A yert. (To Rex) Ruth is a living legend, Rex. At a time when most women are in Boca, having early bird specials -- she's working so her husband can be in Montana. In a yert. REX What's a yert? RUTH (Dryly) I ran into your mother at the radiologist last week. MILES What?! RUTH Oh, just a routine mammogram. She said to say hello. She's going to Positano with your brother's family. A tight, terse smile from Miles. MILES How nice. MARYLIN Positano is beautiful. Remember when we were there, Rex? We stayed in the Santo Pietro? That hotel on the cliff? REX Yeah. They drift for a moment. RUTH So, Miles. If you have a proposal, let's hear it. MILES At this point my client is still prepared to consider reconciliation. RUTH My client has ruled that out. MILES My client is prepared to entertain an amicable dissolution of the marriage without prejudice. RUTH That's delusional. MILES My client proposes a thirty day cooling off period. RUTH My client feels sufficiently dispassionate. MILES My client asks that you not initiate proceedings pending his setting certain affairs in order. RUTH Ha Ha. MILES (conceding the point) Heh heh. REX What's so goddamn funny? Miles lays a hand on his arm. MILES Please -- let me handle this. He puts the clipboard away and looks carefully at Ruth. MILES -- So much for the icebreakers. What're you after, Ruth? RUTH My client is prepared to settle for fifty percent of the marital assets. MILES Why only fifty percent, Ruth? Why not ask for a hundred percent? RUTH Oh brother. Here we go. MILES Why not a hundred and fifty percent? RUTH Yes. Maybe you're right, Miles. Maybe we're being too conservative. Seventy five percent. Rex winces. Rubs his stomach. Marylin leans forward and whispers to him. MARYLIN Do you need a Tagamet? REX You have some? She removes a pack of the tablets from her purse, along with several vials of prescription drugs. MARYLIN These are yours. MILES Not according to Mrs. Rabinow. She hands the pills to a grateful Rex. Their hands touch for a moment. MARYLIN Have you been taking your digestive enzymes? REX (Contrite) Sometimes I forget. She looks at him like a concerned parent. Miles and Ruth watch the interaction. MARYLIN (To the attorneys) I'm sorry. Where were we? RUTH We were about to request the primary residence, and thirty percent of the remaining assets. MILES Are you familiar with Kirshner? RUTH Kirshner does not apply. Kirshner was in Kentucky. REX What's Kirshner? MILES Please -- let me handle this. Okay, Ruth, forget Kirshner -- what's your bottom line? RUTH The primary residence and FORTY percent of the remaining assets. You're becoming tedious Miles. REX Aren't we going in the wrong direction? MILES Shhh. Please. Let me do my job. (To Ruth) Buy a clue, Ruthie. Have you forgotten about Kirshner? Ruth stands and closes her attaché case. RUTH See you at the preliminary. Miles calls to Ruth's retreating back. MILES Fine. We'll eat all the pastry. Going through the door, Ruth doesn't react, but Marylin following, glances back -- bemused, but with a trace of a smile. Rex swallows two more tablets. He sits, looking despondent. MILES I think that went as well as could be expected. REX She always looked out for me. MILES And she had private investigators assisting her. REX (Sentimental) She brought my digestive enzymes. MILES In anticipation of making you sick. REX Maybe I should reconsider my... Miles looks at him. Shakes his head, sadly. MILES A superficial display of marital solicitude, and you lose your resolve? Rex. I underestimated you. But I'm your attorney, and if you choose to reward her for that mediocre charade of spousal concern... He shrugs, helplessly. REX You're right. Screw her. INT. GYM - CLOSE ON A woman walking across a gymnasium floor. Suddenly, she's assaulted by a huge, grotesquely garbed assailant. His sweats barely cover his massive, overdeveloped musculature. On his head, a ski mask stretches over a padded football helmet. He grabs the woman, yanks her back towards him. She reacts swiftly. With a ferocious "NO," she stomps on his foot, and smashes him in the face. The mugger raises his hands in a gesture of submission. APPLAUSE We pull back and see that we are in a Self Defense Class. Two instructors, two "muggers" and ten women students all wearing T-shirts with the words IMPACT-Personal Safety. Marylin and Sarah sit against the wall. MARYLIN I don't know what his game is. He dismissed every one of Ruth's proposals. And Sarah, we weren't unreasonable. SARAH Well what does he want? MARYLIN I don't know. Ruth kept her cool, but I could tell she was surprised. SARAH He has a reputation for being tough. Marylin watches as a new "victim" begin her walk across the gym. MARYLIN (Grinning) Lilly's up. SARAH Oh, God! The mugger emerges from his station and makes his way toward the "victim." She glances over her shoulder, and at the sight of the monster bearing down on her, screams and runs to the exit. Marylin and Sarah giggle, but reproachful looks from the other students force them to affect concerned looks. MARYLIN (Whispers) Every week -- SARAH I'm dying. The two Instructors and the Mugger try to coax the sobbing woman back into the room. They clasp her in an empathic group hug. MARYLIN Anyway, even Rex seemed perplexed by his intransigence. If I didn't know better, I'd swear Massey had some personal investment in my ruination. SARAH So where are you now? MARYLIN Well, if he continues to maintain this position -- we're in court. SARAH Shit. MARYLIN Get this! He called and invited me to dinner. The INSTRUCTOR, a vivacious phys ed major, approaches Marylin. INSTRUCTOR Marylin? Ready. MARYLIN Huh? Oh, yeah. Sure. Marylin gets up and coolly walks to center stage, passing the traumatized Lilly. SARAH That's completely odd. Marylin begins the Victim walk. The Mugger quickly moves up from the rear. MARYLIN (To Sarah) I know. That's why I accepted. Find out what's up with this clown. The Mugger is upon her. He grabs her hair. She stomps his foot, and smoothly wheels around SMASHING him in the nose with her elbow, while KNEEING HIM in the groin. The women Cheer. INSTRUCTOR That was excellent, Marylin. But you forgot to yell "no." MARYLIN Ah. (Calmly, to the Mugger) No. CUT TO: ELEGANT RESTAURANT - EVENING Miles rises from his seat as Marylin enters. MILES Mrs. Rexroth. Thank you for coming. The Maitre d' is pulling out a chair for her. MARYLIN I have to admit. I was curious. And hungry. MAITRE D' Something to start? Some wine, perhaps? Miles glances at the wine list. MILES French? (She smiles) Bordeaux? Hmmm. Chateau Margaux '57. Miles nods at the maitre d' who returns the nod and withdraws. MARYLIN I assume this is on Rex? MILES Isn't everything? Miles regards her. MILES Your husband told me you were beautiful, but I was unprepared. MARYLIN "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard, they make no battery." Miles leans back, props his chin on one fist, and considers her. MILES Simon & Garfunkel? She laughs. MILES Do you have a hard heart, Marylin. MARYLIN Did you see the tape? MILES Not yet. MARYLIN See the tape. Then we can discuss my heart. A waiter appears and pour a taste of wine which Miles sips and -- He nods at the waiter who pours two glasses. MARYLIN Tell me Mr. Massey. What was your performance about this afternoon? MILES What does your lawyer think? MARYLIN Ruth says you've been too successful, that you're bored, complacent, and you're on your way down. MILES But you don't agree? MARYLIN How do you know? MILES Why would you be here? MARYLIN I told you. I was hungry. FLAP a menu enters frame. It is handed to Marylin; another is handed to Miles. MILES I'll have the tournedos of beef. And the lady will have the same? (To Marylin) I assume you're a carnivore. MARYLIN I know you do. She addresses the waiter. MARYLIN Risotto with white truffles, please. Miles looks at her with appreciation. MILES "Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight?" MARYLIN You didn't ask me here to pick me up. You could get in trouble for that. MILES Not really. You're not my client. Freedom of association. Big issue with the First Amendment fans. Want to go to Hawaii for the weekend? MARYLIN Have you ever been married, Miles? MILES No. MARYLIN You don't believe in it. MILES As a matter of fact, I'm a huge fan. MARYLIN You just haven't met the right person. MILES No. I haven't. Have you? She regards him for a moment. MARYLIN All right, Miles. Let me tell you everything you THINK you know. I was married to Rex for a long time. I was an excellent wife, a partner, a lover, a hostess and a friend. There was only one thing I did wrong during the five years we were together. I got five years older. Think he should be able to ditch me for that? MILES He wants a reconciliation. MARYLIN See the tape. Then we can discuss reconciliation. Rex screwed up and I nailed his ass. Now I'm going to have it mounted and have my girlfriends over to throw darts at it. Then I'm getting on with my life. That's all I'm after. MILES Gotcha. MARYLIN What is it you're after, Miles? MILES Oh, I'm a lot like you -- just looking for an ass to mount. MARYLIN Well, don't look at mine! VOICE (O.S.) Oyez. Oyez. Family court for the fifth district of Los Angeles County is now in session. COURT ROOM A large black woman in judicial robes and raiment enters from behind the Solomonic Platform. CLERK -- The Honorable Marva Munson presiding. All rise. Massey, Wrigley, and Rex Rexroth in between, rise. Rex and Wrigley remain respectfully standing, facing forward, as they whisper out of the side of their mouths: REX Have you sat before her before? Wrigley considers. WRIGLEY -- the judge sits. We argue. We argue before her. She sits before us. REX Okay. Has she sat before you before? WRIGLEY You can't sit before her. That's the rule! She sits before we argue! Miles glances over and hisses: MILES Shut! Up! A GAVEL CRASHES LATER We are on a close lateral track of the jurors faces as they sit, with earphones on, in the darkened courtroom, illuminated by a flickering TV monitor. Leaking tinnily through the headsets we hear a very faint: VOICE I'm gonna nail your ass. The track ends over at Marylin's table, where Marylin also wearing headphones, looks on with studied stoicism. Ruth lays a consoling hand on her shoulder. LATER Marylin Rexroth now struggles to maintain her composure on the witness stand. She is modestly dressed and her attitude is one of shocked, wounded innocence. MARYLIN I was devastated. Of course. RUTH Thank you, Mrs. Rexroth. JUDGE Mr. Massey, any questions? Miles soberly rises. MILES Mmmm -- He paces, hands clasped behind his back, affecting to be lost in thought. Marylin watches him. Finally Miles, still pacing, declaims: MILES "Dismiss your vows, your feigned tears, your flattery, for where a heart is hard, they make no battery..." Marylin looks up from her handkerchief with a look of startled irritation. Miles stops pacing and turns to face her with a faint smile. MILES Do you know those lines, Mrs. Rexroth? Marylin examines him with guarded eyes. Ruth sensing something unscripted going on, tries to cut it off. RUTH Objection, your honor! JUDGE Grounds? RUTH Uh... poetry recitation. MILES Let me rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, how high is that wall around your heart? Marylin eyes him suspiciously. RUTH Your honor, this is harassment! Arid frankly it's still a little... She flutters one hand. RUTH ...arty farty! MILES Rephrase. Mrs. Rexroth, have you ever been in love? Marylin hesitates, gives a "what does this mean look" to Ruth. She returns a "beats me." MARYLIN Yes. I loved my husband, Rex. MILES And you've always loved him? Smiles slips out: MARYLIN "Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight?" Miles returns a fleeting smile. MILES And you hoped to spend the rest of your life with him? MARYLIN Yes. Why is that so difficult for you to understand? She looks at Rex with tender sorrow. MARYLIN Rex was -- is -- a very appealing man. I am sorry I couldn't... (Tearing up) I tried my best. Miles almost smiles. She's good. MILES That'll be all Mrs. Rexroth. Please forgive me for causing you additional anguish. (To the Judge) Thank you, Your Honor. No further questions. A Bailiff offers to help Marylin off the stand. She politely and courageously declines. JUDGE Who's next, Mrs. Rabinow. RUTH We rest, Your Honor. JUDGE Mr. Massey? MILES Yes, Your honor. I call Patricia Kennedy DeCordoba Isenberg. BAILIFF Patricia Kennedy DeCordoba Isenberg. Marylin, in the process of reseating herself behind her table, pauses. Ruth notices this and leans in. RUTH Who's that? MARYLIN Jesus. An attractive woman in her mid fifties advances to be sworn. She was a beauty, but her glory days are past and she's not taking it well. She looks tense and slightly hypo-manic. She speaks in a breathy, giggly voice, and smiles frequently for no apparent reason. BAILIFF Mrs. Isenberg. PATRICIA Banderas. BAILIFF Mrs. Banderas, do you solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to give shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God? PATRICIA Yes, Mr. Bailiff. I do. MILES Now, Mrs. Banderas. What is your relationship to Mrs. Rexroth. PATRICIA We don't have much of a relationship anymore. I haven't seen her since before she married Rex. We had some very nice times prior to that. We were quite close. RUTH (To Marylin) Is this a lover? MARYLIN Please! MILES And how would you define your relationship to Mrs. Rexroth. You know -- you are her...? PATRICIA Mother? RUTH What?! Marylin sighs. MILES Her Mother? Patricia smiles coyly. Gives Marylin a silly little wave by way of greeting. PATRICIA Hi, Sweetie. MILES Hard to believe I know. I'm sure you are frequently mistaken for sisters. MARYLIN (Mumbles) He'll regret this. MILES Have you ever met Mr. Rexroth? PATRICIA No. I haven't. But I've been out of town. (Little girlish wave) Hello, Rex. Hello there. MILES You were never invited to meet your son-in-law? PATRICIA No. Uh uh. I don't think so. Hmm? No. Well... no. RUTH Objection, Your Honor. This isn't about Mrs. Rexroth's filial obligations. JUDGE Sustained. MILES Did you know Mrs. Rexroth was married? PATRICIA Of course. Of course she was married. What else would she be? Single? I don't think so. She laughs merrily at some private joke between her and her psyche. PATRICIA Let me tell you something about Patty. MILES Who's "Patty." PATRICIA Oh. That's her name. Patricia. Like mine. I was Pat and she was Patty. But she changed it after seeing "Some Like It Hot." To Marylin. After Marylin Monroe. MILES I see. And what were you going to tell us about Patty slash Marylin? PATRICIA When she was a tiny girl? And people asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up? She never said the usual things little girls say -- like -- nurse -- ballerina -- anchorwoman? She always said -- (Very Shirley Temple) "When I grow up, I want to be divorced." She laughs happily at the memory. MILES Divorce was her childhood aspiration? PATRICIA Well, not just divorce. She used to say "I want to be divorced from some big dumb rich guy..." And I guess her dream is coming true. (To Marylin) I'm happy for you Patty INT. SARAH SORKIN'S BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT Pasta being cooked. Salad being tossed. Wine glasses are filled. It's Girl's Night at the beach. MARYLIN It was like that scene in The Godfather. Frankie Pentangeli is called to testify against the Family. And he's in court, and he looks into the spectators gallery, and sees his Brother. They brought the brother from Sicily. And Frankie can't say a word. He can't testify. That's what it was like seeing Pat in there. I couldn't even have Ruth cross examine her. RAMONA Why do you think she did it? MARYLIN (Shrugs) Maybe she wanted a free trip to LA. Maybe they offered her money. Massey is very seductive. Who knows. RAMONA Maybe they put a horse head in her bed? SARAH That stinks. They left you with absolutely nothing. It makes you wonder about the entire legal system. Like Rodney King. MARYLIN They bought her speech. If I was only in it for Rex's money, he shouldn't have to give me any. RAMONA That doesn't make sense. It's like punishing you for being goal oriented. SARAH Well, you can live here as long as you want. Do you have any plans? MARYLIN Nothing specific, but I'll have my own place soon. SARAH So, Marylin. Is that what you said when you were a little girl? MARYLIN Probably. Every woman in my life was divorced at least twice. What was I supposed to say. Anthropologist? RAMONA I begged you to have a baby! MARYLIN In the Godfather, after the courtroom scene, Frankie Pentangeli opens his veins in the bathtub. SARAH You're not... MARYLIN No. I'll see some blood before this is over, but it won't be mine. CUT TO: INT. GIANT MOCK TUDOR - BEVERLY HILLS Miles is at his weekly chess game with his college friend, DR. KENNETH BECK, a disaffected plastic surgeon. Miles, Cohiba in hand, studies the board. Dr. Ken sips his Merlot. Moves a piece. MILES She got absolutely nothing. Zero. Zip. KENNETH So. I won't be seeing her? Your clients usually visit me after the settlement. MILES Not this one. Not unless her HMO covers plastic surgery, which, incidentally, she does not need. KENNETH Everyone needs plastic surgery. You need it. MILES I don't need it. KENNETH You want Botox? MILES What the hell is Botox? KENNETH It's a form of botulism. I just inject it into your forehead, and it paralyzes your eyebrows so you can't raise them... MILES Why in God's name would I want...? KENNETH No frown lines. (Notices Miles watch) New watch? MILES It's a LeCoultre Revers. You can flip the face, and set it for two time zones. KENNETH Why would you need two time zones? You never leave Beverly Hills. MILES It was a gift from a client. KENNETH Set one side for Bel Air. MILES Botox. Christ. We had aspirations when we were in college. KENNETH We did not. MILES You were going to be a Cardiac Surgeon. I was going to clerk for the Supreme Court. KENNETH I was going to play golf. You were going to have Asian girlfriends. MILES Denial is not a river in Egypt. Kenneth moves a chess piece. KENNETH You're in check. MILES I should be in therapy. INT. MILES MASSEY'S OFFICE Miles addresses BONNIE DONOVAN, a client. MILES Yes. Your husband did show remarkable foresight in taking those pictures. And, yes, absent a swimming pool, the presence of the pool man would appear to be suspicious. But Bonnie, who is the real victim here? Let me suggest the following. Your husband, who on a prior occasion slapped you -- beat you -- BONNIE (Reacts) Well, I wouldn't say -- MILES Your husband, who has beaten you -- repeatedly -- BONNIE He -- MILES Please -- was at the time brandishing your firearm, trying in his rage to shoot an acquaintance -- friend of long standing -- BONNIE They hate each other -- MILES So he says now! But if not for your cool headed intervention, his tantrum might have ended this schmoe's life and ruined his own... As for the sexual indiscretion which he imagined had taken place, wasn't it in fact he who had been sleeping with the pool man? He stares contemplatively at the ceiling and, after a beat, responds to the silence: MILES Am I going to far here? A squawk box interrupts with a female voice. VOICE Mr. Massey, Mr. Meyerson would like to see you when you have a moment. Miles is surprised. MILES Herb wants to see me? VOICE When you have a moment. INT. OFFICE Slatted shades are drawn against the sun. It is dim, gloomy. We can just make out the shape of an ancient man -- small, hunched -- seated behind an enormous desk. A gallows shape next to him is hard to make out; it is tall, rail thin and fixed with a swinging, glinting appendage. A voice -- old, dry, rasping, lightly accented of a long- gone Brooklyn boyhood -- seems disembodied and sourceless, as if it is the voice of the gloom itself. VOICE Thoity-six objections sustained, tree overruled; fawteen summary judgements sought, toiteen ranite, eighteen movments to voice fuh respondent's prejudice, eighteen ranite which is a hunnut pissent An arm is being extended toward us and the glinting appendage swings with it: we see that it is an IV which snakes down and into the hunched man's suit sleeve. VOICE -- Twelve cawt days on the Rexrawt case alone; tree hunut'n twenty billable hours paralegal soivicies; four hunnut'n two billable associate counsel and consultative; six hunnut'n eighty billable at full attorney rate and eightyfive lunches charged. Miles takes the man's offered hand, withered and roped with veins, and accepts its clammy shake. VOICE -- Counseluh, you are the engine that drives this foim -- He leans back in his chair, breathing heavily, and runs a tongue over his sandpapery lips. He is wearing oversize Swifty- Lazar style glasses, heavily tinted in spite of the dark. At length MILES Thank you Herb. INT. MILES OFFICE Miles sits behind his desk, fingers steepled, staring at nothing, a haunted look on his face. His intercom SQUAWKS: VOICE Mr. Massey -- MILES Please! No calls! I'm feeling very fragile. VOICE I'm sorry, Mr. Massey, but I felt certain you'd want to know -- Marylin Rexroth wants to see you. MILES Marylin Rexroth? When does she -- VOICE She's here now. INT. PRIVATE BATHROOM Miles runs his fingers through his hair, carefully examining himself in the mirror. Suavely smiling. MILES Marylin! How nice. He clears his throat, begins again with lower pitch, suave smile still in place MILES Marylin! How lovely, uh -- He runs a finger across his teeth, which squeak, then puts back the suave smile MILES -- Marylin! What a pleasure -- DOORWAY On Miles as he opens the door, suavely smiling. MILES Marylin, what a pleas -- who the fuck are you? Facing him in the doorway is a large roughly handsome middle aged man in a business suit. Just behind him is Marylin Rexroth, looking as coolly beautiful as ever. She smoothly puts in: MARYLIN Miles, how nice of you to see us -- may I introduce Howard D. Doyle of Doyle Oil. DOYLE I told you we know each other, baby. Mr. Massey represented my ex-brother- in law. Martin Reiser? MILES Oh. Right. Won't you have a seat? DOYLE (To Marylin) After you, Doll. Marylin glides into the office. Seats herself on the couch. Doyle sits next to her, one proprietary hand on her knee. MILES And how is Mrs. Reiser? DOYLE Few suicide attempts, little inpatient stint. Naturally, she misses her kids. Six weekends a year and alternate Yom Kippurs seemed harsh to us but -- hey -- all's fair. Anyhoo, she lives with a "nurse," takes her meds and goes to occupational therapy at a local sheltered workshop. MILES So she's uh, flourishing? DOYLE She makes felt wallets. Got one right here. Doyle pulls out a deranged piece of felt stuffed with money. Most of the contents slip to the floor. DOYLE Yeah. I know. Leather would be more practical, but whatcha gonna do? MARYLIN Miles, I know you're busy and that you charge by the hour so I'll come to the point. Howard and I are planning to marry. Miles is stunned. MILES Muh -- Well, uh -- Huh? DOYLE Yep. My divorce just came through. Shoulda called you. Coulda cut a better deal! My wife still has health insurance and gets to see the children. But, I don't know. Guess I'm just a softie. After all Amanda and me were together for -- what -- you'd know better than me, Marylin. She was your best friend. MARYLIN (Thinks) Sixteen years? Howard Jr. is fourteen and Mandy must be what -- twelve? DOYLE (To Miles) Here. Got pictures. He removes a family photo from the felt wallet. It's of Howard and two fat teenagers. Apparently the former Mrs. Doyle was cut out, but an ear and part of a hairdo are sill visible in the shot. MILES I... uh guess congratulations are in order. DOYLE Well -- Marylin and Rex broke up and... MARYLIN Honey, I don't think this is really relevant to... DOYLE ...and one day, this sweet girl calls me, asks me to lunch. Just a shoulder to cry on deal. One thing leads to another and before I know it -- MARYLIN -- we realized we'd always been very attracted to one another. MILES No! DOYLE I had no idea until after, but -- He looks at her with predatory lust. DOYLE Baby. You are so HOT! MARYLIN (Coy) Howard! He pulls her close to him and plants a massive kiss on her. MILES What a touching story. DOYLE You know, Miles, after my wife -- wife's mastectomy -- things were never the same. This might sound cold, well, maybe not to you, Massey, but... (man to man) I like my women with two boobs. Miles flashes Marylin a "you are KIDDING" look, but she assiduously avoids eye contact. MARYLIN Howard and I are here, Miles, because I have learned through bitter experience that when it comes to matrimonial law, you are the very best. Miles acknowledges this with a curt nod. MARYLIN As you are well aware, my previous marriage ended with an unjustified strain on my reputation My motives were questioned. I was slandered in court. DOYLE You did good, Massey! MARYLIN Therefore in an effort to remove any trace of suspicion from my sweet Howard -- I wish to execute a pre- nuptial agreement. DOYLE And -- there's no talking her out of it. Believe me, I've tried. MARYLIN They say the Massey pre-nup has never been penetrated. DOYLE She said "penetrate." Heh heh heh. He gropes her. She giggles like a teenager. MILES Oh, for the love of... MARYLIN That is true, isn't it Miles? Your pre-nup is the best there is? MILES That is correct. Not to blow my own horn, but they devote an entire semester to it at Harvard Law. DOYLE Harvard? Whoa, Daddy! MILES I just want to make sure that you both -- He eyes Marylin. MILES -- understand what you're asking for here. The Massey pre-nup provides that in the event of a dissolution of the marriage for any reason, both parties shall leave it with whatever they brought in, and earned during. No one can profit from the marriage. The pre-nup protects the wealthier party. DOYLE Well -- at the moment, that'd be me. MILES And without it, that party is exposed -- a sitting duck. No wriggle room. DOYLE A Wriggle Room! Maybe we should put that in the Malibu house. Screw the screening room! MILES (slightly sickened) -- and we are sure... Eyes boring into Marylin. MILES -- we are both sure that's what we want? MARYLIN Absolutely. DOYLE Course I can't do much "wriggling" if you tie me up like that again. Massey -- this is one bad bad little girl. MARYLIN (laughing) We'd better go before we get thrown out. ELEVATOR BANK Marylin and Howard wait for an elevator as Miles trots out to catch them. MILES Excuse me, Mr. Doyle, if I could just borrow your charming fiancee for a moment. DOYLE What part? MILES I'd just like to have a word with her. DOYLE Why not? I'm going to have her for a lifetime. Miles drags her to the side as Doyle checks his Sports Pager. MILES What are you doing? She backs up as he tries to close the space between them. MARYLIN Getting married. MILES To him? He's a sick freak. MARYLIN He's passionate. MILES Passionate! He's a pervert. He should have to register when he moves. MARYLIN All girls enjoy a little rough trade from time to time. MILES Marylin! Listen to me. MARYLIN No. You listen to me. (Very quiet and deliberate) You busted me, Miles. You left me with nothing! What did you expect me to do? Get a degree in counseling? Write a book about table linen? Because that's what wives do when they get dumped, and frankly, I'm not quite ready for that. MILES But why him? MARYLIN We told you. We realized we've always been in love. He has backed her against the wall of an alcove which shelters a flowering ficus. MILES The Massey pre-nup has never been pene -- successfully challenged. MARYLIN So I hear. Is that all? MILES No, that's not all. He moves to kiss her. MILES You fascinate me. She deftly slides out of the way. Miles watches her as she heads down the hall. As she gets on the elevator, Howard grabs her butt with one hand, while giving Miles a high sign with the other. INT. HOWARD'S HOUSE - NIGHT Miles stares at the chessboard. MILES Do you think I'm going to end up like Herb Myerson, with a colostomy bag instead of a family? KENNETH Got any symptoms? MILES Yes. The inability to experience pleasure. KENNETH Oh. That. (beat) Don't waste time with your queen. MILES What? KENNETH The Center Counter Defense. The thing is not to move your queen too early. MILES She can't really love that idiot, can she? KENNETH What? MILES Marylin Rexroth. She came into my office and signed a pre-nup with Howard Doyle. KENNETH Doyle Oil? (Miles nods) A Massey Pre-nup? (Miles nods again) She loves him. MILES He's the wrong man. KENNETH Miles! Don't waste time with someone else's queen, either. EXT. A WEDDING BOWER - AKA CHUPPA From behind the bower, RABBI BOLENSKY emerges, strumming his guitar and singing: BOLENSKY Parsley sage, rosemary and thyme -- Remember me to one who lives there... A pullback reveals Howard D. Doyle before the altar with Marylin. He is in a tuxedo and yarmulke. She is dressed in a simple, Kennedy-type gown. BOLENSKY -- she once was a true love of mine. The last arpeggiated chord rings out; birds tweet, everyone sits. As Miles and Wrigley seat themselves, Wrigley is sniffling. Miles is irritated. MILES What the hell is wrong with you? WRIGLEY I can't help it. Even with the business we're in, I -- it gets me every time. It's so -- optimistic. MILES Is she going through with it? As the crowd quiets with the end of the song, Wrigley murmurs: WRIGLEY If she's not going through with it, she's cutting it awful close. RABBI BOLENSKY Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme. Ingredients. Spices. Spicy ingredients for the banquet we call -- life. Marriage is like a Great Feast. Courtship is the Appetizer. A small mixed green taste of things to come. The Early Years -- The First Course -- a carefully poached fish dish dependent on freshness and delicate handling. Or perhaps a light pasta -- a tortellini stuffed with cheese and hope. WRIGLEY (Whispers, to Miles) You have any gum or mints? RABBI The main course -- Mature Love -- a hearty stew, cooked slowly in the oven of companionship until the meat falls off the bone. And then -- dessert. The reward for years spent together -- the sweetness of a Life Well Lived. A sorbet of grandchildren, followed by the decafe demitasse of retirement. There is silence, broken only by the twitter of birds and the restlessness of a hungry audience. Finally: RABBI BOLENKSY Do you Chaim David Doyle, take Marylin to be the Barbara to your Wolfgang though the lean years as well as those that are heavily marbled? DOYLE I do. RABBI BOLENSKY And do you, Marylin Rexroth, take Chaim to be the roux in your bechamel? The stock in your sauce? MARYLIN I do. MILES Argh. Heads turn. Miles bites a knuckle. Birds twitter. RABBI BOLENSKY Then, by the power vested in me by the state of California, and as the maitre'd in the Prix Fixe Four Star Restaurant of Life, I now pronounce you -- man and wife... A kiss. Cheers. Applause. A RECEPTION ON THE GROUNDS Rabbi Bolensky strolls through the crowd with a heaping platter of smoked salmon. Miles is darkly brooding as Wrigley opens a Tiffany box to show him the contents. WRIGLEY What do you think? MILES What are they? WRIGLEY Berry spoons. MILES Spoons! Honestly Wrigley, I'm surprised at you. What is this? Some Martha Stewart suggestion? Those are the most cockamamie things I've ever -- WRIGLEY Miles -- why so angry? Miles sounds wistful: MILES Why couldn't we be the club sandwich? Ding Ding -- Howard D. is tapping a knife against his wine glass. The crowd quiets. DOYLE Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: I have something to say to my bride. Howard D. turns to one side to address Marylin, taking one of her hands between his paws, as she beams up at him. DOYLE -- Darling, like the rabbi said... life is a banquet, A Grand Bouffe, and Marylin, darling... I just want you to know that I am IN the kitchen and I CAN STAND THE HEAT! Laughter from the gallery. DOYLE And I'm going to start this marriage by EATING MY WORDS. Because the hot hors d'oerve of this love story is -- Pre-nup Primavera! He reaches into his breast pocket and withdraws a piece of paper. DOYLE Carmine! Bring on the Pesto! A Caterer places a plate and a bowl of sauce in front of Doyle. Marylin looks on, surprised and bemused. DOYLE -- This is for you, darling. He starts tearing strips off the piece of paper, dipping them into the sauce, and eating them. His mouth stuffed with paper, Doyle repeats: DOYLE -- this is for you, Darling. The crowd is murmuring--the murmurs grow in volume -- a smattering of applause -- cheers -- more applause -- wild cheers. Slowly rhythmically, Miles starts thumping his hand together, nodding comprehension. MILES Brilliant. Next to him Wrigley is puzzled. WRIGLEY Why is he doing that? Miles' hand-clapping accelerates. MILES Brilliant. It's brilliant. He's eating the pre-nup. Wrigley's eyes widen. He looks back at Doyle eating the paper. DOYLE This is for you, Darling! Wrigley bursts into tears. WRIGLEY That's -- the most romantic thing I've ever seen -- in my LIFE! DOYLE THIS IS FOR YOU, DARLING! LATER Marylin stands at the punch bowl accepting congratulations. Miles approaches and draws her aside. MILES I'd like to offer my congratulations. That was a beautiful gesture of Howard's. MARYLIN Howard is a beautiful person. MILES Yes. He's a diamond in the rough. And I have a feeling that someday soon you'll be taking that diamond and leaving the rough. MARYLIN Miles. Miles. Miles. MILES I am thrilled for you, but tell me this... How'd you get Howard to do it? I've addressed enough juries to appreciate the power of suggestion, but it seemed like he thought it was his own idea. MARYLIN It was his idea. It was a gesture of love and trust. Be happy for me, Miles. MILES Well, when this goes south -- promise you'll have dinner with me? MARYLIN (She holds a plate of food for him) Have you tried the duck? MILES I figure a couple of months. That's how long it should take for the ink on the settlement to dry. He takes the plate of food from her. MARYLIN It has bones. Be sure to swallow one. MILES Although knowing you as I do -- there will be no settlement. This time it will be complete and total annihilation. With a ROAR we CUT TO: INT. LEAR JET COCKPIT A uniformed pilot and copilot are cruising the corporate jet high above a vast ocean of clouds. The pilot is wearing a headset. After a long moment of listening he shakes his head. PILOT Jesus -- CO-PILOT What --? PILOT -- I've heard some -- I've heard some sick things -- in my -- CO-PILOT What?! The pilot reaches above his head and throws a small toggle switch and the cockpit is Awash with the sound of screaming, laughter and music: MALE VOICE Oh Casey Jones was the rounder's name, T'was on the 6:02 that he rode to fame! INT. CABIN OF LEAR JET Screaming with laughter, two naked damsels in conductor's caps are pushing Rex Rexroth around the cabin on a miniature locomotive. He is wearing his railroad boxers and bellowing "The Ballad of Casey Jones." BACK TO THE COCKPIT CO-PILOT Who is that guy? PILOT Rex Rexroth, the mini-mall king. Getting to be the richest man on the West Coast, from what they say. The copilot shakes his head. CO-PILOT Jesus. FROM THE SPEAKER Hup! Come all you rounders if you wanna hear... CO-PILOT Why're they going to Muncie? The pilot shrugs. PILOT He's thinking of buying Indiana. EXTERIOR WHOOOSH -- the plane roars away. INT. MILES OFFICE MILES And of course we shall have to litigate. Sentence. Paragraph. WIDER A secretary seated by his desk is taking notes. MILES -- Naturally the first concern for both parties is the welfare of little Wendell junior. Nevertheless, we question whether the continuing expenses for his special ed classes are truly justified given the great strides -- Wrigley enters. WRIGLEY I'm sorry I'm late. I was having lunch with Ruth Rabinow's assistant. Guess what? Marylin Rexroth is divorced! MILES (Delighted) HA! WRIGLEY ...and I hear she's richer than Croesus. MILES Ah, but is she richer than Mrs. Croesus? WRIGLEY She could buy and sell you ten times over. MILES She deserves every penny. They pay great athletes a fortune. Well, Marylin Rexroth is an athlete at the peak of her power. He hits the call button. MILES Get me Marylin Rexroth Doyle. WRIGLEY What...? MILES She owes me a meal. WRIGLEY I'd stay away from her, Miles. MILES I know you would, Wrigley. But would Kramer? We hear the Receptionist Voice: RECEPTIONIST Mrs. Doyle for you. INT. FANCY RESTAURANT We move in on one of the tables where Marylin and Miles sit as a waiter pours them champagne. WAITER Le Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin, 1982. MILES Thank you. I'll take care of it. As he fill Marylin's glass: Raises his own in a toast. MILES To victory. MARYLIN I don't feel victorious Miles. I feel betrayed, abandoned and humiliated. I have pictures of him with another woman... MILES More pictures? My God, Marylin. You can open an erotic art gallery. MARYLIN Did you invite me here to score some cheap laughs. MILES No. Just to comfort you, and appreciate you -- MARYLIN (Reproachfully) You really think I engineered the whole thing. You think the marriage and the divorce was part of some scheme. You came here to celebrate because you think I'm without morality or soul. You -- (With difficulty) sound like my mother. The Waiter hands Miles a menu. WAITER Should we order? MARYLIN Yes, I -- well, I'm not really... MILES Not hungry, huh? Neither am I. A long pensive moment. Miles reaches across the table and takes her hand. She lets him. He strokes it. INT. CAR Miles drives. Marylin sits silently looking out the window. DOYLE MANSION Miles pulls up to the huge house. MARYLIN Thank you. And good-night. He takes her hand again. MILES Marylin -- She puts a finger to his lips. Sadly, Miles relinquishes her hand. She exits the car and walks up to the front door. Miles watches her go. INT. BEDROOM - MASSEY MANSION We hear Court TV on in the background. Miles alone in bed, reading Art In America. ON THE TV A Witness is being examined by the Prosecutor: PROSECUTOR ...and he asked you if...? WITNESS ..if I reckon I could find someone to keel him his wife. PROSECUTOR Who asked you this? WITNESS Dean Leonard. Da defendant. (Points to the defendant) That guy! CLAP OF THUNDER -- BOLT OF LIGHTNING In a boiling night sky. There are distant, echoing wails. WOOZY DUTCH TRACK Along a pointing suitcoated arm. SANDPAPERY VOICE Eighteen hunnut billable hours. Twelve hunnut'n twenty-one motions tuh void... The woozy track finds the cadaverous hand at the end of the arm with an IV tube swinging from it. Miles stands next to the arm. He's holding an assault type weapon. SANDPAPERY VOICE ...five nunnut'n sixty faw summary judgenents. A hunnut'n twenty-nine thousand four hunnut'n seventeen lunches charged... Miles shoots -- Bonnie falls. Then Mrs. Guttman. Marylin is next. Miles hesitates. SANDPAPERY VOICE Counseluh? Counseluh? Miles points the gun at Herb. RING. RING. RING. MILES BEDROOM He bolts up in bed, sweating. RING He gazes stuporously about, reaching for the ringing phone. MILES Hello? MARYLIN Miles? MILES Yes? Marylin? MARYLIN You're right about me. I am worthless. I am nothing. I don't deserve to live. MILES Marylin? When did I say...? MARYLIN I don't blame them for betraying me. I don't blame Rex, or Howard or my father. You see, Miles, I'm going to tell you something about me. Something you may or may not know. I suck! We hear the SCREECH of Tires. MARYLIN (yelling at someone) Screw you, asswipe! MILES Marylin? Forgive me but are you -- drunk? MARYLIN A little. (Scream) You get out of the car. That's right, Fuctard. I'm talkin' to you! MILES You shouldn't be driving. Where are you? MARYLIN I'm on Sunset. Near the Beverly Hills hotel. Wanna meet me for a drink in the Polo...? MILES I live right near there. The 800 Block of Maple. Come here. Marylin -- come here right now before -- just come here. MARYLIN Okay. Should I stop at Starbucks and pick up a blended for -- MILES No. Don't stop. MARYLIN Okay Miles. INT. DEN - MASSEY MANSION Marylin sits in the den. She's had some coffee and, although teary and disheveled, is no longer psychotic. MARYLIN I just cried when I got home. Somehow, your disdain for me -- I'm pretty tough Miles, but I'm human. All my life people have been ascribing these terrible motives to me. I used to think they were jealous, or they didn't understand, but... I dunno. Maybe others see something in me. Something I'm not even aware of. Anyway, thank you for letting me come here. I guess I was a little drunk. She takes the coffee cup and has a sip. She looks like a lost waif. MARYLIN You have a very nice home, Miles. Very inviting. MILES Thank you. MARYLIN You have wonderful art. I love that lithograph. Hockney? MILES Yes. I just got that, actually. It was a gift. MARYLIN From a -- girlfriend. MILES No. No. I don't have a... no. It was from a client. MARYLIN No kidding. I'll bet you have some very grateful clients. What'd Rex buy you? MILES Rex sent me two humidors full of pre- Castro Cubans. Marylin looks at a photograph Miles has on a side table. A WOMAN AND TWO SMALL BOYS. The Woman has her arm around one of them. The other stands close to her. Smiling, but awkward and tentative. MARYLIN Is that you? MILES Me. Yes. MARYLIN Oh. And that is -- mom? MILES Yeah. Mom. Mom and brother. MARYLIN You look like you were a very sensitive child. You have expressive eyes. Miles walks over to look at the picture. MILES Hmmm... MARYLIN And your mother was very beautiful. She must be proud of you. MILES She never particularly cared for me. MARYLIN She didn't love you? MILES No. She loved me. She would never not love her son. She just didn't... I wasn't her "type." She said I was a very, colicky baby. You know? Difficult. Not a good sleeper? Didn't eat well? We got off to a bad start, and she never seemed to recoup -- MARYLIN She held that against you? MILES Apparently she was very disappointed. MARYLIN Boy. Boy, oh boy. Marylin looks at the picture again. And yes -- you can see how hesitant Miles was. Marylin is moved. A flash of something genuine crosses her face. MARYLIN And here I thought my mother was... MILES Your mother was. MARYLIN Oh right. You met Patricia. She takes a sip of coffee. Regards Miles. MARYLIN We're damaged goods. MILES No, we're not! MARYLIN We are, Miles. You know I'm right. There's something "off" about you and me Miles. And maybe it isn't because of these women -- maybe they were just extremely insightful and recognized our "deficiencies" very early on. Maybe... MILES That is bullshit! Mine is a bitch and yours is a psycho. I can't believe you're saying this, Marylin! There's nothing wrong with us. We're attractive and charismatic and successful and... I like us. MARYLIN I'm sorry Miles. You shouldn't listen to me. I'm sure you have a very fulfilling life. I'd better go. I'm depressing. MILES No. MARYLIN Thank you for the coffee. It's very robust. She stands. Picks up her purse. Walks over to him with an outstretched hand. MARYLIN Friends? MILES Don't go. Stay with me for a while. He doesn't release her hand. Instead he draws her to him, and kisses her. She kisses him. He kisses her back. She... CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Mile and Marylin -- making love. LATER They are in post coital wrap. MILES I have to say -- I'm speechless. No. I'm never speechless. MARYLIN I'm a little embarrassed. I'm not used to losing control with such -- volume. MILES And I'm not used to -- Marylin -- there's something I want to ask you. MARYLIN What is it Miles? MILES I want... I want to... She waits, puzzled. MILES I want to be your -- your wife. MARYLIN Huh? MILES No... That wasn't right. I want YOU to be MY wife. MARYLIN Did you just propose to me? MILES Yes. I am. What else could those words mean? I believe we belong together and we can make one another happy. And we should be happy because happiness is better than the alternative which is -- just jump in any old time, Marylin. You have more experience at this than I do. MARYLIN Yes. MILES Yes? Yes, you do have more experience? MARYLIN Yes, Miles. I accept. MILES You do? MARYLIN Do you want me to sleep on it? MILES No. MARYLIN Do you want to sleep on it? MILES No ma'am. I have been asleep all my life up to this moment. Marylin, will you marry me? MARYLIN Yes. Again. They kiss. MILES I don't have a ring! MARYLIN I know. MILES I have a watch. She laughs. Kisses him. MARYLIN I'm happy. INT. CHAPEL Miles and Kenneth wait. Dressed in suits. Miles looks nervous. KENNETH I'm happy for you, pal. MILES Thanks, buddy. KENNETH Is she Asian? MILES Asian? No. KENNETH Well... I'm still... Wrigley, rushes in, carrying a briefcase. MILES Wrigley? WRIGLEY Miles. MILES Kenneth this is my associate, Wrigley. Wrigley this is my friend, Dr. Beck. WRIGLEY The plastic surgeon! I read about you in LA Style. MILES Do you have it? KENNETH I have it. MILES You have the pre-nup? KENNETH No. I have the ring. Was I supposed to have a pre-nup? MILES No. You have the ring. Wrigley has the pre-nup. KENNETH Oh. I thought maybe -- (He sees someone) Gee! Marylin enters. She looks outstanding. Her friends, Sarah Sorkin and Ramona Barcelona (who is now visibly pregnant) accompany her. SARAH Dr. Beck! KENNETH Sarah! How are you? MILES You know each other? Of course you do. RAMONA You're Dr. Beck? I have an appointment to see you in March. Right after I lose the babyweight. Which of course, will be after I have the baby... MARYLIN Sarah Sorkin. Ramona Barcelona -- this is Miles Massey. SARAH Hello Miles. RAMONA Congratulations Miles. MILES Hi. Hello. (To Marylin) Marylin. You know my young associate, Wrigley. MARYLIN I do. He was at my divorce and my wedding. What would a marital related event be without Wrigley? WRIGLEY It has become a tradition, hasn't it? MARYLIN I loved the berry spoons. (Wrigley beams) I didn't have any. Thank you. MILES Well, Wrigley brought something else for you today, darling. Wrigley pulls a sheaf of papers from the briefcase. MILES This -- is the Massey Pre-nup. Wrigley hastily pulls a ballpoint from his pocket and clicks it. Miles grabs the pre-nup, and as he turns to Marylin, his tone softens. MILES Marylin, you're welcome to examine it, but as you know -- it's iron clad. SARAH It is. It's famous. WRIGLEY I tried to reach Ruth, but we couldn't get her. MILES We wanted Ruth here for your protection as well -- WRIGLEY The Judge is here. Over here, Judge Munson. MARYLIN Wasn't she the Judge at my divorce hearing? MILES Yes. Short notice you know, but I think there's nice closure to it. Hello Judge Muson. A pleasure as always. JUDGE MUNSON What's up with you two. MILES We're getting married. Judge laughs. JUDGE MUNSON What's the gag? MILES A gag? No. Marylin looks at the pre-nup. Then pulls Miles aside. MARYLIN Excuse me, Judge Muson. JUDGE You got it, Patty. MARYLIN (To Miles) You brought a pre-nup to our wedding? MILES Yes. (She isn't having the expected reaction) It's for your protection, sweetheart. You're the one with the -- the... WRIGLEY -- the coin? MARYLIN Miles. I don't want to sign this. I want this marriage to be different. Okay. Judge Munsen and Wrigley are here, but other than that... JUDGE Should I go out for a smoke? MILES No. Judge -- just a sec. But Marylin, if we sign it, I can't hope to benefit from the marriage. MARYLIN (Sadly) Oh Miles! MILES What I mean is, your wealth is completely protected. As if a lead veil had been drawn across. She looks deep into his eyes. Into his soul. MARYLIN Miles. Listen to me. You are about to become my husband. I don't want to be protected from you. I want to be protected for you. WRIGLEY (Moved) Ohhh... MILES But? MARYLIN I want this to be a marriage based on love, trust and community property. That's all I've ever wanted. SARAH But Marylin, without this, you're completely exposed. MARYLIN I want to be exposed. RAMONA You're vulnerable. MARYLIN It's about time. JUDGE You're a sitting duck. MARYLIN (To Miles, with great affection) Quack. INT. CHAPEL Miles and Marylin stand before the alter. JUDGE MUNSON Do you, Miles Herbert Massey of Massey Meyerson take Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth- Doyle? MARYLIN Yes. JUDGE MUNSON "Doyle", to be your lawful wedded wife to -- MILES I do, yah I do, uh huh -- JUDGE MUNSON Let me finish! She glares at Miles. JUDGE MUNSON -- Jesus! Haven't you ever been married before? Chastened, Miles bows his head. JUDGE MUNSON -- To have and hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? There is a long beat, through which Miles stares at his shoes. Marylin looks at him. MILES -- I do. JUDGE MUNSON And do you, Marylin Hamilton-Rexroth Doyle, take Miles Herbert Massey of Massey Meyerson, to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, till death do you part? MARYLIN I do. JUDGE MUNSON I now pronounce you man and wife. Wrigley bursts into tears. THE MARRIED MASSEY MONTAGE CUT TO: INT. MASSEY HOUSE - MORNING Miles and Marylin asleep in bed. The ALARM RINGS. Miles wakes, turns to his beautiful wife -- kisses her good morning. She gives him a sleepy Smile. Miles dressing for work. Marylin, in a Sabia Rosa bathrobe places a tray with coffee next to him. He holds up two ties for her-approval. She selects one. He puts it on. Miles and Marylin reading Newspapers while eating breakfast. She serves him a bowl of fruit and indicates Wrigley's berry spoons. They laugh heartily. Marylin waves good bye as Miles backs drives to the office. She waves at the gardeners who blow palm fronds around the lawn. MILES OFFICE He has managed to fill his credenza with pictures of married life. Due to its brevity -- these pictures are uneventful, the Massey's wear the same outfit in most of them. Miles works. He is interrupted by the voice of his SECRETARY. SECRETARY I have Mrs. Massey on line one for you. Miles picks up. MILES Mom...? He laughs and laughs. We hear Marylin's laughter coming through the receiver. Miles exits a flower store with a bouquet of tulips. Marylin at the doorway, greets Miles as he arrives home. As Miles changes into his casual after work outfit, (khakis?) Marylin sits at the edge of the bed. He's telling her about his day, and she is rapt with attention. The Massey's have a candlelit dinner of fish and pasta. The tulips are in the middle of the table. Miles and Marylin snuggle on a couch and watch Seinfeld. Miles in bed on the new Frette Linen. A few too many pillows, but he's making it work. Marylin enters the bedroom in a nightshirt that is the perfect combination of innocence and nastiness. He puts down his book as she gets into bed with him. They gaze at one another -- the picture of contentment and impending lust. CLICK - LIGHTS OUT EXT. MASSEY MYERSON - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Miles is addressing the young associates. MILES For the first time in my life, I stand before you naked... vulnerable... and in love. Love. A word matrimonial lawyers shy away from. Ironic isn't it -- that I have been frightened of this emotion which is, in a sense, the seed of my livelihood. But today, I am here to tell you: Love should cause us no fear. Love should cause us no shame. Love... is good. (He lets it sink in) Let me ask you a question. When our clients come to us confused, angry, hurting because their flame of love is fluttering and threatens to die -- should we seek to extinguish that flame, so that we can sift through the smoldering wreckage for our paltry reward? Or should we seek to fan this precious flame -- this most precious flame -- back to loving, roaring life? The young associates look confused. Wrigley raises his hand. WRIGLEY Extinguish? MILES Should we counsel fear -- or trust? Should we seek to destroy -- or to build? Should we meet our clients' problems with cynicism -- or with love? MILES (another raised hand) Kramer? KRAMER Build? MILES The decision of course, is each of ours. For my part, I have made the leap of love, and there is no going back -- Herb Myserson sits in the back of the room. He watches, breathing heavily. INT. DEN - MASSEY HOUSE Miles and Marylin watching a cable movie crowded together on the small sofa. MARYLIN I'm sorry. I'm squishing you. I'll move to the... MILES No. Stay. I want you close to me. This couch is wrong. It's not a "married couch." He surveys his surroundings with a critical eye. MARYLIN Honey, I could sit... MILES In fact, this is not a married house -- it's a bachelor pad. MARYLIN Hardly. You have six bedrooms MILES I know. But I've converted most of them into ridiculous "Guy" rooms -- a billiard room, a card room, a gym -- Honey, want you to go out, as soon as you feel up to it -- and buy married things. Woman things. Personalize it. Marylinize it. Make this your house. He hands her a credit card. MILES Here's my card. Spend as much as you want. We get mileage. MARYLIN Well, I suppose I could "girly" it up for you with a little Fortuny, and some passementerie -- MILES Good. (Beat) Are those foods? MARYLIN Fabric and fringe. MILES Exactly. And then -- maybe -- not right away -- There's a room right off the bedroom -- It would be perfect for a nursery. (He takes her hands) It's a walk in humidor right now -- but if I took out the refrigeration unit -- MARYLIN Miles. MILES I think a nursery should be right off the master suite. My parents put mine in the guest house. Apparently they did have a Fisher Price intercom, but my mother turned it off when I was seven months old because I was so -- She stops him with a kiss. MILES You want children, don't you? INT. QUATRAIN ANTIQUES - DAY A pricey antique store near Melrose. RAMONA You said 'yes' didn't you? MARYLIN I said yes. She picks up an antique Chinese bowl. MARYLIN Is this Ming? SARAH It's not Ming. It's Tong. RAMONA Is Tong older than Ming? MARYLIN I think Ming is older than Tong. (To the Salesman hovering nearby) What is this? SALESMAN That is a Chinese Prayer Bowl. It's Chen dynasty. MARYLIN Ok. I'll take it. He sets it aside next to the formidable pile of loot the girls have accumulated. MARYLIN I can't do this anymore. Let's get some lunch. SARAH What about rugs? I thought we were stopping at Mansour? MARYLIN Right. SALESMAN (To Marylin) And will this be check or --? She hands him the Platinum Visa. SALESMAN (Glances at it) Very good, Mrs. Massey. He trots off with the card. Marylin absently fingers an antique guided candelabra. MARYLIN (Sigh) Well. He said to "make the house mine." RAMONA Oh boy. If he only knew. MARYLIN Yeah. I guess. You know -- SARAH What? MARYLIN He's not what I expected. He's very -- he's so -- happy. SARAH But you're going through with it? MARYLIN Yes, yes, it's just -- you know I've never been the first wife. Rex was married before me. SARAH So what? MARYLIN Miles is different. He's still so idealistic. SARAH Well, that's about to change big time. MARYLIN He has no cynicism or anger. For once I'm not the repository of rage at some other woman. SARAH Soon, you'll have your own rage! MARYLIN I guess. INT. FLOWER STORE - EVENING Miles is buying a huge bouquet of flowers. As he exits he is stopped by a WOMAN. She is in her 40's but looks older. WOMAN Wait. I know you. MILES Yes? WOMAN You're Miles Massey! You probably don't recognize me. The drugs made me put on weight and grow facial hair. MILES Excuse me? WOMAN You ruined my life you sonofabitch. Gimme those. She grabs the flowers. Pulls petal off one of the roses and eats it. WOMAN But my brother got you. He got you, you slimeball. A NURSE runs over. NURSE Emily! MILES What are you... (To the nurse) Is she yours? WOMAN Howard Doyle is my brother? You know my brother, Howard Doyle. You do know my brother, don't you? NURSE I'm sorry, Sir. Emily. Give the man back. MILES Yes, I know Howard Doyle. WOMAN He tricked you. With a phony wife and a fake pre-nup. Howard Doyle. He got you. You married Marylin, didn't you? You thought she had money. HA HA HA. Howard Doyle made you think that because of what you did to me. And to Marylin Rexroth. Yeah. I heard all about it. My brother Howard Doyle got you. (singsong) Neener neener neener. INT. RUTH RABINOW'S OFFICE Ruth calmly watches Miles ranting around her office. MILES He divorced his wife -- he married Marylin -- he divorced Marylin -- and he -- remarried his WIFE? What kind of sick -- RUTH Marylin was friends with Howard and Amanda Doyle. They don't like the way you operate. They helped her. MILES He never ate the pre-nup, did he! RUTH I have no idea what Howard Doyle eats. I'm not a damn dietician. MILES Did Marylin end up with money? RUTH She's YOUR wife. Why don't you ask her? Anyway, I assume she signed the highly over rated Massey pre-nup. MILES I don't have a pre-nup Miles hangs his head. Ruth sighs sympathetically. RUTH ...The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars... MILES Don't give me that crap. That's MY crap. RUTH And it's good! MILES I'll have you suspended. I'll have you disbarred. RUTH Don't threaten me, Miles. I did nothing illegal. MILES ...why did she do it, Ruth? Why? RUTH That's attorney client privilege. (As she goes back into her work) Sorry, Miles. But as a great and clever man once said, What's good for the goose -- INT. MASSEY HOUSE - NIGHT Marylin greets him at the door. MARYLIN Hi. MILES Hello Marylin. MARYLIN I have a surprise for you. MILES I bet. She brings him inside. The place has been massively accessorized. Antiques, rugs, lamps and assorted tasteful chatchkies. There is a new Biedermeyer couch in the den. MARYLIN Ta Da. Miles looks at it, expressionless. MARYLIN You don't like it? He stares at her -- a very dark look. MARYLIN You don't like me? MILES (Flatly) I love you. I want to have your baby. MARYLIN What's wrong Miles? Did I spend too much? She retrieves all the receipts from her purse. MARYLIN Miles. I have a very good relationship with all the salesmen. I can return everything. MILES Can you Marylin? Can you return the trust? Can you return the hopes? The dreams? Can you just... (Bitterly) SEND IT ALL BACK FOR STORE CREDIT? MARYLIN Miles? You're scaring me. MILES (Pulls himself together) I'm sorry, Darling. I love it. It's chic and timeless and elegant and eclectic and. It's you, Marylin. It is YOU. INT. KITCHEN Marylin is on the phone with Ruth. MARYLIN But Ruth -- things have changed -- yes -- yes I understand. But you see -- I couldn't file, did I? And maybe I wasn't going to file. Maybe -- maybe Ruth -- Yes. Okay. OUTSIDE BEDROOM - MASSEY HOUSE - NIGHT The bedroom door is closed. Marylin knocks repeatedly. MARYLIN Miles? Open the door, Miles. Please open the door. I want to talk to you. Miles? I'm coming in. Here I come. She pushes the door open. No Miles in sight. On the bed, scrawled on a piece of mMm stationery, taped to one of the mMm Frette pillows -- a note which reads -- "If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? AND IF YOU WRONG US SHALL WE NOT REVENGE?" INT. KENNETH'S HOUSE Kenneth stares at the chessboard. Court TV is on the background. TV SCREEN COURT TV REPORTER We are back at the Trial of New Jersey v. Medrano. Mr. Medrano is accused of killing his wife, Alicia in 1992. He claims it was suicide. Let's return to the courtroom. See the action in the courtroom -- The Prosecutor shows the jury an extremely large handgun. PROSECUTOR How far would this gun have to be in order to inflict a wound without leaving powder burns on the scalp. EXPERT WITNESS Approximately three feet. PROSECUTOR And how could Mrs. Medrano shoot herself in the back of the head from a distance of three feet? KENNETH Really long arms? He moves a piece. MILES They won't get a conviction. The husband called it in as a suicide. The forensic guys weren't thinking murder. I'm sure some of the evidence was compromised. KENNETH It's your move, Miles. MILES (Sadly) I already made my move, Kenneth. INT. MASSEY HOUSE A private yoga class. Marylin, Sarah and Ramona are in the plow position. The yuppie Sikh instructor places his weight on Sarah. SARAH Vishu! Knock it off. That hurts. VISHNU Breathe through it. Sarah tries a few deep breaths. Marylin concentrates hard. VISHNU That's good, Marylin. MARYLIN I don't even know where he is. He looked so devastated. If I could just talk to him for a few minutes. SFX DOORBELL MARYLIN Was that the bell? RAMONA It sounded like a bell. MARYLIN I'll be right back. INT. HALLWAY - MASSEY HOUSE Marylin walks to the door. Opens it. Two POLICE OFFICERS. MARYLIN Yes? Can I help you? POLICE OFFICER Marylin Hamilton Rexroth Doyle Massey? MARYLIN Yes. POLICE OFFICER We have a warrant for your arrest. MARYLIN What? INT. POLICE STATION - MONTAGE - DAY Marylin is photographed front and profile. She is finger printed; she is searched and relieved of her jewelry; and finally, she is throw into a holding tank with several other women -- trapped. She clings despondently to the bars. INT. POLICE STATION - DAY Ruth is admitted to the holding area. INT. HOLDING TANK - DAY A Police Officer walks down the hall. Unlocks the door. POLICE OFFICER You can go now, Mrs. Massey. Someone made bail. Marylin exits. INT. RUTH'S CAR Marylin sits next to Ruth. MARYLIN Forgery and Fraud? RUTH You used his credit card. MARYLIN He told me to -- he said he wanted me to -- RUTH Quite a little shopping spree. How do you spend six figures in less than six hours? Oh, never mind I've seen it before. I've seen everything. MARYLIN Do you think he set me up? Do you think that was his intention? RUTH Like I know his intention? Or yours for that matter? (Sighs) I should join Sam. I'm too old for this bullshit. MARYLIN He never even asked. He just assumed -- RUTH He was right, wasn't he? MARYLIN So. Now what? RUTH Now? Well, Marylin, now you cut a deal or find out how Jean Harris made it work for her. INT. MASSEY HOUSE - DAY Miles opens the door. Marylin is standing there. MILES Well. Well. Well. Look who made bail! MARYLIN May I come in? MILES I don't know. Maybe I should grab my mace. I'm a civil attorney. I have little experience with "the criminal mind." MARYLIN I'd just like to pick up a few of my things MILES I don't believe you have "things." MARYLIN On the contrary. We're married and we have no pre-nup, so a case could be made that everything in here is mine. Marylin walks into the den. Sits on the new sofa. MARYLIN Comfy! MILES What do you want? MARYLIN I want to nail you ass. MILES Are you threatening me, because I'm sure that's a violation of the terms of your bail. MARYLIN I'm reporting you to the IRS. MILES The IRS? They owe me. I'm expecting a refund. He laughs. She looks at him, dead serious. MILES I'm clean with the IRS. I've reported every dollar I've ever made. Try again, girlfriend. MARYLIN I'm not talking about dollars, studmuffin. I'm talking about -- She opens a humidor and takes out a Cigar. MARYLIN STUFF. (Chomping on the Cigar) Got a light? MILES What kind of "stuff?" She reaches into her purse. Pulls out a Dunhill and expertly lights the cigar. MARYLIN Arty Farty stuff. (Pointing to the Hockney) Lithographs and pre Castro Cubans. Watches and mileage on private jets. Stuff, Miles. Stuff you get from grateful clients. MILES Those are gifts. MARYLIN Salary. Unreported income. (Glancing at his watch) By the way, what time IS it on Bellagio Road? MILES You can't prove anything. MARYLIN I don't have to. That's what the IRS guys do. And they do it with great zeal. See, they work at these tortuous civil service jobs, and when five hundred dollar an hour boys like you take their trade out in luxury goodies, these saps feel.. well, they feel like saps. And they feel bitter and they feel vengeful and they feel WRATH. (Puffing on the cigar) What is this? A Romeo and Julieta? MILES You're out of your league, Marylin. Rexroth was a primate. I'm a professional. MARYLIN I know. So am I, right? And so is Agent Wilson of the Internal Revenue Service. He's a dedicated, underpaid graduate of Southwestern University -- very tenacious, and never more so than when he's dealing with an unscrupulous colleague. (She stands to leave) I think it's only fair to warn you: I'm going to file an action, Miles. And after a decent interval I plan to have Ruth seek an injunction that will forbid your approach within 500 feet of my house. MILES Meaning my house. MARYLIN I believe the residence will be part of the settlement. MILES Did our marriage ever mean anything to you? MARYLIN Drop the bogus forgery charge and I'll forget about your generous friends slash clients. MILES That's blackmail. MARYLIN That's marriage. She gives him a peck on the cheek. As she leaves: MARYLIN You'll always be my favorite husband. Miles sits dejectedly on the new sofa looking at the paintings. He looks at the watch. And the cigars. And the picture of his mother. MILES Pity you can't be here. You'd enjoy this. CLOSE ON A BAG OF FLUIDS We pull back from the milky yellowish bag of fluid to show that a nurse is unhooking and removing it from under Herb Meyerson's wheelchair where it collects drainage. She now places it up on the IV gantry and connects, and swaps the now empty drip under the wheelchair to collect drainage. We are once again in Herb Meyerson's gloomy office, its venetians blocking most of the light and making Herb a dark, enigmatic figure. HERB This woman has humbled, shamed and disgrazed the entire foim. A reverse shows Miles standing in front of Herb's desk. MILES Yes Herb, HERB Counseluh, this foim deals in powuh. This foim deals in p'seption. This foim cannot prospuh... nor long endowwa. if it is p'seeved as dancin' to the music.. He waves his free arm to the beat of music unheard. HERB -- of the hoidy-goidy. MILES I understand Herb... I just... for the first time in my career -- I don't know what to do. I'm a patsy. A sitting duck. I'm lost. HERB Lost! I'll tell you what you can do, you can -- He brings himself up short and turns to the nurse. HERB -- leave us. She heads for the door. HERB -- You can act like a man. Let me tell you sumpn, smart guy. You tawt you had it all figgud out. Trust. Marriage. All ya goddamn love love love. Well now you lissean me. I'm gonna talk to you about the goddamn LAW. He climbs unsteadily to his feet and tries to pace, gesticulating, with the IV swaying dangerously behind him. HERB -- We SOIVE THE LAW! We HONUH the law! We make our goddamn bread and BUTTUH by the law! And sometimes, counseluh, we OBEY THE LAW -- He pauses to let this sink in. HERB -- but conseluh -- This is not one a those times. INT. BEDROOM - MASSEY HOUSE Miles is in bed, morosely watching Court TV. TV SCREEN Close on NIKKI ROSEN - A COURT TV ANCHOR NIKKI We are interrupting our scheduled weekend coverage because we have just received word there is a verdict in the Kentucky v Leonard Case. We now join the case -- live. THE COURTROOM BAILIFF (Reads) Of the charges of murder in the first degree, we the jury find the defendant -- not guilty. THE STUDIO Nikki speaks to her Guest Host. NIKKI He got away with it. GUEST Simpson started a trend. CUT TO: CLOSE ON An edgy looking gangster, JOE. He is perspiring heavily. He breathes through his mouth with the rasping wheeze of an asthmatic. His labored breath rattles as he stares across the table at someone off. At length, a voice: VOICE ...Are you Joe? Still staring, but perhaps by way of answer, the gangster raises an inhaler, sticks it in his mouth, and squeezes. WHUSH. GANGSTER ...Dumbarton? A reverse shows Miles seated across a small round table in a seedy low-lit clam house. Photos of Ted Kennedy and the Pope adorn the walls.. MILES I am here representing Mr. Dumbarton, on a... matter of some delicacy. GANGSTER Who's the pigeon? MILES Excuse me? GANGSTER Who do you want me to kill? MILES Well -- I, uh, that is to say Mr. Dumbarton -- would like you to uh, neutralize a, uh, business associate by the name of Marylin Rexroth Doyle Massey uh Dumbart -- uh, Massey. GANGSTER Is that... one person? MILES Here's her picture... He is shoving an envelope across the table. MILES ...and the address where she's staying. It's the residence of a Mr. Massey. Uh, Dumbarton. Massey. Uh, it's not Mr. Dumbarton's house. Though he's not involved. And because of an impending legal action this needs to happen within a certain... time frame. Uh... on an expedited basis. The gangster stares expressionlessly. He raises the inhaler again and, with his eyes still on Miles, squeezes. WHUSH. GANGSTER You're in a rush. MILES Mr. Dumbarton is, yes. A long beat. Finally, Miles explodes MILES She won't suffer, will she? He bites a knuckle, gazing fearfully at the gangster. The gangster stares impassively back. GANGSTER ...not unless you pay extra. INT. REX REXROTH MANSION An enormous oak paneled room. Furnished with chairs sofas and a huge circular bed. A fire roars in the far corner. On the wall above the bed a film loop is being projected -- soft core pornographic images. On the bed, Rex is surrounded by three naked beauties, smeared in cola dust and wearing conductor caps. REX I've been working on the railroad -- TARTS All the livelong day! REX I've been working on the railroad TARTS Just to pass the time away! REX Can'tcha hear the whistle... the whistle... AWWWWWWW. Rex hunches over, clutching his left arm. One by one, the girls stop dancing and stare. There is a somber silence, broken by another. REX Awwwwwww -- The girls are all watching now. One of them steps forward. TART -- Whatsa matter, Rexie? INT. KENNETH'S HOUSE A guest room. Dark, dirty and filled with empty bottles of expensive French wine. We hear a phone ringing in a different room. It rings several times. The figure on the bed stirs, rolls over, moans, clamps a pillow over his head. The ring of the distant telephone is interrupted and we hear a muffled voice: VOICE Hello. Yes, he's here. Just a minute -- We hear approaching footsteps and Kenneth enters the background, knotting a bathrobe. He turns on the light in the room. KENNETH Miles. It's for you. The figure on the couch pulls away the pillow. It is indeed Miles Massey. He blearily takes the offered phone. MILES Hello. Yes -- what?! Yes -- I see -- After another listening beat he drops the phone away. He remains staring dully out into space. MILES My God. KENNETH What? MILES That was Marvin Untermeyer. KENNETH Yes? MILES He was Rex Rexroth's personal attorney. KENNETH What do you mean, was. MILES Rex just had a massive coronary. In the middle of a business meeting. He's dead. Kenneth is mildly puzzled. KENNETH I'm sorry to hear that. But you weren't close, were you? MILES Marvin says that Rex's will is four years old. He never redrafted it. KENNETH Yes. Miles voice is still flat, expressionless: MILES Everything goes to Marylin. He looks up a at Kenneth. MILES She's rich. We're still married. We have no pre-nup. KENNETH So, that's good, right? MINUTES LATER Miles paces with the telephone. He punches numbers with the thumb of the hand holding the phone; his other hand holds a coffee cup from which he takes trembling slurps. VOICE This is Joe. Wuddya need? Then a beep. MILES Joe. This is Mr. uh... friend of -- we met. This is to instruct you it's No Go! Do you understand me?! NO GO on Marylin Rexroth Doyle -- No Go. He slams down the phone. KENNETH Who was that? MILES That was -- oh, shit. What if he's on his way over there? KENNETH Huh? Consumed with remorse, Miles moans. MILES Marylin! What have I done? KENNETH I don't know, but don't call me Marylin. MILES CAR Miles drives, speeding, taking corners hard while punching numbers into his car phone. MILES Get her out, buy some time; get her out -- INT. MASSEY MANSION - NIGHT In the bedroom, the phone starts ringing. A hand enters to pick it up. We follow the hand up to reveal MARYLIN Hello? MILES SPEEDING CAR MILES Marylin? MARYLIN Miles? Miles! Where have you been? I've been trying to get in touch. MILES You have to leave the house immediately! MARYLIN I will, Miles. I will leave. But Miles -- MILES No buts. Now. Out. MARYLIN Just listen to me. I'm sorry, Miles. It's true that my initial intention was to... MILES Please! Leave the house. MARYLIN I fell in love Miles. MILES So did I. Now pack up a few basics and -- MARYLIN You do? You do love me? MASSEY MANSION Marylin hangs up the phone. She walks slowly around the room, pausing at the mantelpiece to pick up a framed picture of Miles, which she contemplatively regards. We pan with her continued walk to bring Joe into frame. He stands with his back pressed to the wall. She's started for a moment, but quickly recoups: MARYLIN Whoever sent you, I'll pay double. JOE Mr. Dumbarton. She shows him the picture of Miles. MARYLIN Is this Mr. Dumbarton? JOE No... She cocks an eye at him. JOE That's his lawyer. MARYLIN Triple! JOE Who's the pigeon? We faintly hear a car screeching to a halt. EXT. MASSEY MANSION Massey exits the car. He clutches a can of mace. INT. MANSION We hear a key scrape in the lock. The front door swings open onto a dark foyer as Miles tiptoes in. MILES (Whispers) Marylin? DINING ROOM Miles tiptoes through, looking warily about. He backs through the swinging doors connecting to the kitchen. Finds himself face to face with Joe. MILES Joe! Thank God you're in time. You're not in time. I'm in time. Thank God I'm in time. Joe stares at him. MILES It's a no go! Get it? No one any the wiser. Okay! He makes a cow-herding motion with his hands. MILES You can go home now! Goodbye! Thanks so much! Joe takes out his gun. MILES No no! No contract! It's all over. This has no effect on Joe who is unscrewing his silencer. Miles is exasperated. Suddenly -- Marylin appears. MARYLIN It's a no go, Joe. MILES Marylin! MARYLIN It's okay Joe. Joe glances at both of them with barely concealed contempt. MILES Wait! He works for YOU? MARYLIN Now. But first, he worked for you. MILES You were going to have this thug...? MARYLIN Wait just a second there. You sent him here. You unearthed this pestilence. JOE You're calling me a pestilence? That's a hoot! MARYLIN (To Joe) I'm sorry. That was unkind and -- but, we changed our minds. (To Miles) Did you really mean what you said on the phone. It wasn't because you found out about Rex? MILES Nonono. Marylin -- I'm your husband. I'd be entitled to Rex's money. No matter what happened to you. MARYLIN That's true. JOE Lemme tell you something. You are the pestilence. I'm the exterminator. MARYLIN Oh Joe, be happy for us. I'll pay you the twenty thousand. MILES It was fifty for you. JOE (To Miles) That's cause you're a lawyer. I gave her the lawyer discount. (Looks at Marylin) But I shouldn't of. Cause you're a whore. A whore who worships the dollar. MARYLIN Well, actually, all whores worship the dollar, if you want to get technical. JOE Shut up. I was a lawyer. Just like you. And my clients? Whores just like you. MILES Were you with a firm? JOE Kaplan. MILES Kaplan? I know Kaplan. Wait. You're Joe Gittelson? I knew you looked -- You were great -- we studied you. JOE Twenty years in "matrimonial law" and it made me sick. (He wheezes) I broke up homes and families, never givin' it a second thought. Till one day. I had an epiphany. You know what that is? (They nod) Came with a damn stigmata if you can believe that! I said to myself -- Joe -- everyone you see wants blood. Everyone wants their ex's dead. So why jerk around with rest. You wanna best serve your clients? Kill em. Joe is raising the gun at Miles. Miles sprays him with Mace. BANG -- Joe fires blindly, scrunching his eyes against the chemical, sucking for breath like a jet engine revving for a take-off. SLAM -- Marylin elbows him in the face, breaking his nose. She finishes with a solid groin kick. It slows him down, but doesn't stop him. Joe stumbles a bit, but regains his footing. BANG -- Joe is rampaging around the room, still firing, thumping at his chest with his free hand for his inhaler. Marylin runs to Miles. He takes her hand and they run toward the door, seeking egress. BANG -- still firing, he pulls out the inhaler but blindly bobbles it. Joe reaches with his gun hand to keep the inhaler from falling. He momentarily bobbles both gun and inhaler. Miles pops up in front of him. MILES Marylin. Run. I'll distract him. MARYLIN I'm not leaving you. I took self defense Joe recovers and raises the gun to his mouth as he points the inhaler at Miles. He squeezes -- WHUSH -- Miles squints against the asthma mist and lets out a horrified: MILES Joe! BANG! The off-screen gunshot is followed by the sound of a body dropping heavily to the floor. Silence. Marylin runs over to Miles. They look sadly down at the floor. MILES WE told him it was no go... INT. MASSEY MYERSON CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY Wrigley sits bouncing the steepled fingers of one hand against the other. Miles sits gazing sadly out the window. The room is empty. There is the whir of ventilation. The click of the door attracts both their attention and brings them to their feet. Marylin walks in, chic and beautiful as ever, followed by Ruth, who sits next to her, places her attaché case on the table top, and snaps its clasps. RUTH Alright. WRIGLEY Ruth. Miles and Marylin are looking at each other. Quietly: MILES Hello Marylin. MARYLIN Hello Miles. MILES Hard to believe this is the way it will end up for us. MARYLIN It's not something I wanted either. MILES But then -- I guess -- something inside me died when I realized that you'd hired a goon to kill me. MARYLIN Yes. I know. It's exactly how I felt when I realized you'd hired the goon to kill... RUTH Now you both wait a minute. Nobody hired anyone to kill anyone. WRIGLEY Hear, hear. There is an uncomfortable shifting in seats. Wrigley looks at Miles. WRIGLEY Apparently, from what I can gather, a burglar broke into your house -- became despondent over his lifestyle and shot himself. Miles is still looking at Marylin. MILES Where does that leave us? RUTH We've outlined a settlement... She pushes a piece of paper across the table. RUTH We think it's more than generous. Miles ignores the paper, which lies unclaimed on the middle of the table. He looks at Marylin. WRIGLEY My client is prepared to consider a reconciliation. Marylin looks a Miles. MARYLIN How could I trust you, after... after all of this. Miles, staring at Marylin, cuts in: MILES You wounded me first, Marylin. MARYLIN Your forgetting Rex Rexroth? MILES You're forgetting Howard Doyle? MARYLIN Forgery? Fraud? MILES Income tax evasion? MARYLIN Murder? MILES Murder! MARYLIN I don't see how we can ever find our way back from... Miles, with his eyes still on Marylin, reaches into his suit coat. He withdraws a piece of paper, spreads it flat on the table in front of him and, still gazing at her: MILES You know... there's nothing in the Massey pre-nup that says it can't be executed after the parties wed. He decisively clicks the button on a ballpoint pen, looks down at the paper in front of him and scribbles his name. He pushes the paper across the table toward Marylin. Gazing at him, seeking the truth in his eyes, she absently picks up the paper. There is a long silence. We hear only the hum of ventilation, and Wrigley's quiet snuffling. Ruth is looking down her nose through her glasses -- over Marylin's shoulder -- at the sheet of paper. Marylin however, looks only at Miles. RUTH It's the Massey pre-nup -- Marylin rips the paper in half. RUTH (bored) O-kay. I'm going back to the office Wrigley sobs openly. RUTH Come on Wrigley, I'll buy you a drink and an anti depressant. WRIGLEY No one will ever love me that way. RUTH Not if you're lucky. No. Miles rises slowly to his feet. He puts his knuckles on the tabletop and leans forward. Marylin rises slowly to her feet. She leans forward. They kiss. MILES Let's go home. EXT. MASSEY HOUSE - DAY We hear a SMASHING -- BREAKING. Gardeners look up briefly from the leaf blowing -- but quickly prioritize and continue blasting sycamore leaves from one end of the yard to the other. TRACK THROUGH HOUSE TO INT. MASSEY BEDROOM The smashing is becoming louder. AN AXE Breaks the beautiful wood panelling in the room next to the master suite. MILES Wait. Just wait for one minute. Sweet Jesus, are you crazy? CONSTRUCTION WORKER LOOKS UP he's the one wielding the axe. His co-worker casts a look in our direction. MILES reaches under the rubble and removes one box of Cohiba Especials. CONSTRUCTION WORKER Sorry, Mr. Massey. Thought you cleared that shit out. CONSTRUCTION WORKER #2 You know, man... those things'll kill ya. I know all you old boomer potheads like em. They're illegal, and you get to put em in fancy boxes -- but -- shit man! It's still tobacco. ON MARYLIN Mightily pregnant. MARYLIN You know, sweets, he's right. Miles casts a rueful look at the cigars. MILES Pre-Castro. MARYLIN Fine. They were created during a dictatorship. (Placing a protective hand on her BIG belly) What if something happened to you? What would I tell little Gus when he asked "what was my daddy like?" Miles looks at the box, then at his wife. He tosses the box to the concerned construction worker. MILES Here, buddy. These are for you. The construction worker gives him a very hostile look. CONSTRUCTION WORKER (Mumbles) Great. Now I can die. MILES Well. You'd say "they devoted a whole semester at Harvard to your Dad. But your Mom was the one that ever only nailed his ass." MARYLIN Sweet. MILES I thought so. FADE OUT: THE END