the fisher king
by
Richard LaGravenese
REVISED DRAFT
Rev 6/31/90
[NOTE: THE HARD COPY OF THIS SCRIPT CONTAINED
SCENE NUMBERS & SOME "OMITTED" SCENE SLUGS.
THESE HAVE BEEN IGNORED FOR THIS SOFT COPY.]
FADE IN:
INT. DARKENED BEDROOM - DAWN
CLOSEUP ON RADIO/ALARM CLOCK reads 5:59 a.m. The digital
numbers flip to 6:00 and the RADIO goes on: a talk show
host speaks in a soft, soothing voice:
JACK (V.O.)
It's six a.m.... Ooooooo and that bed
never felt sooooo gooood... Mmmm, you
linger in a warm, gentle dream
state... ever so comfortable... ever
so safe...
SFX: LOUD BATTLE NOISE
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... But suddenly you realize it's
Monday!
A woman SCREAMS... the D.J., JACK, speaks at a rapid fire
pace... a HAND from O.S. tries to shut the alarm off in
the dark.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... your hand races to shut off the
alarm before your mind wakes up...
SCREAMS... the HAND knocks over a water glass and grabs
the clock but can't find the off switch.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... But it's too late! If you don't
get out of bed now, you'll never have
enough time to blow dry your hair
that special way... You'll never make
that nine o'clock meeting that your
partner will be early for... You will
be late and everyone will notice!
The HAND bangs the clock violently...
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... Rumors will fly about you losing
your edge... Someone will casually
mention they saw you downing shots of
tequila at the Xmas party and before
you know it, you're spilling your
guys to a Senate committee or selling
yourself on street corners to middle
aged men from the Midwest...
Headlines flash across your mind --
"Sleeping Investment Banker Guns D.J.
Then Self -- Claimed -- 'I only
wanted two more minutes!'"
SCREAMS... SILENCE... The D.J. (Jack) speaks in a normal
voice.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
... Hey, it's Monday morning, and I'm
Jack Lucas.
The HAND rips the clock off the night table.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
A WOMAN in a bathrobe spoons the contents of a protein
drink called Executive Protein Blast into blender...
WOMAN (V.O.)
(upset)
... I don't have to talk to you.
JACK (V.O.)
Yes... Yes, you do because you see,
today, you're our...
PRE-RECORDED ECHOING (V.O.)
Spotlight Celebrity.
CUT TO:
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
A naked man shaves as he listens to the RADIO.
JACK (V.O.)
And in the spirit of fairness, we
want the public to hear your side of
things. So, now... how long were you
and Senator Peyton having this sleazy
affair?
WOMAN (V.O.)
(angry)
I am tired of the public thinking
they've got the right to invade a
person's private life.
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
A woman sensually applying lipstick and makeup as:
JACK (V.O.)
Oh please!... You had sex with a
United States Senator in the parking
lot of Sea World... You're telling me
you're a private kind of person.
No... you're our...
PRE-RECORDED ECHOING (V.O.)
Spotlight Celebrity...
WOMAN (V.O.)
That's still all anybody talks about.
Nobody even thinks to ask whether we
loved each other.
EXT. WALL STREET AREA - MORNING
Hordes of business people stampeding towards their
jobs...
JACK (V.O.)
Because nobody cares about that,
sweetheart. Nobody wants to hear
about your romantic love. No. We
want to hear about the back seats of
limos... the ruined lives of people
we want to be... new and exotic uses
for champagne corks...
INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING
People line up to buy coffee and danish.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Listen, I have been humiliated enough
already!
JACK (V.O.)
Perhaps not -- We need those
details...
The Woman hangs up...
JACK AND CREW
Ooooo...
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - MORNING
Escalators packed with people move like conveyor belts:
JACK (V.O.)
Hi, this is Jack Lucas and we're
discussing personal pet peeves. Go
ahead, caller.
CALLER (V.O.)
Okay... well... It's my husband...
JACK (V.O.)
Huh-huh.
GRAND CENTRAL - MAIN FLOOR - MORNING
Hundreds of people moving like ants in every direction:
CALLER (V.O.)
He drives me crazy. I'll be talking
and he'll never let me finish a
sentence... He's always finishing
my...
JACK (V.O.)
(overlaps)
-- Finishing your thoughts. That's
awful.
EXT. MIDTOWN NEW YORK - MORNING
Midtown traffic. Angry cab drivers yelling at
pedestrians.
CALLER (V.O.)
Oh! It absolutely drives me...
JACK (V.O.)
(cuts her off)
-- Drives you crazy, huh? The
scoundrel.
CUT TO:
EXT. 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA - MORNING
CALLER (V.O.)
Hello Jack. It's Edwin.
JACK AND CREW (V.O.)
It's Edwin!!!!
"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN" plays then is abruptly
stopped.
JACK (V.O.)
(continuing)
Edwin. We haven't heard from you in
what -- a day?... I've missed you.
INT. EDWIN'S APARTMENT - MORNING
INTERCUT Edwin on phone.
INT. RADIO STUDIO - MORNING
OVERHEAD SHOT of radio host as he speaks, while he
manipulates tapes, dials, switches, etc... at a breakneck
speed...
EDWIN (V.O.)
I've missed you too, Jack.
JACK AND CREW (O.S.)
Awwww.......!
SFX: "A SUMMER PLACE" -- THE NEEDLE IS SCRATCHED OFF
Edwin laughs, perhaps a bit over zealously -- He is a
simple minded soul... a lonely child in the body of a
lonely man.
JACK (O.S.)
So, Edwin, baby, this is Sunrise
Confession time... what have you got
for us?
EDWIN (V.O.)
I... I... went to this bar... this
very, ya know -- hard-to-get-in
place... called Babbitt's...
The HANDS of the radio host pushing buttons, bending a
paperclip out of shape...
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, I know the place. It's one of
those chic yuppie gathering holes.
EDWIN (V.O.)
(simple minded laughter)
Okay... I know but... I met this
beautiful girl...
Host's HANDS pop in a tape "WEDDING BELLS," then a
NEEDLE scratching it off.
JACK (O.S.)
Now, Edwin, if you start telling me
you're in love again, I'm going to
have to remind you of the time we
made you propose to that check-out
girl at Thrifty's that you liked so
much. Remember her reaction...
Another TAPE, another button pressed:
BLACK SEVENTIES GROUP (V.O.)
(sings)
"Mister Big Stuff... Huh... Tell
me... Who do you think you are...
Mister Big Stuff... you're never
gonna get my love..."
EDWIN (V.O.)
(defensive)
I wasn't serious about her, Jack.
That was just a joke for you guys...
She was just a girl. This is a
beautiful woman. She wears pearls.
CAMERA KEEPS MOVING about the studio and the host, but we
never see his face:
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, but does she swallow, Edwin?
EDWIN (V.O.)
I think she likes me... she gave me
her number, but she must work a lot
cause when I call she's never home...
But I think we'll go out this
weekend... I've...
JACK (O.S.)
Yeah, Edwin, sure... and Pinnochio is
a true story... Edwin! Wake up!
This is a fairytale...
The crew perform their duties with little enthusiasm.
EDWIN (V.O.)
No, Jack, no, it's not... She likes
me.
JACK (O.S.)
She gave you the old brusheroo,
kiddo... Believe me -- this tart will
never make it to your desert plate...
EDWIN (V.O.)
(hurt)
She likes me. She said for me to
call!
MICHAEL MCDONALD (V.O.)
(sings)
"What a fool believes... He sees..."
EDWIN (V.O.)
(over the song)
Jack!
JACK (O.S.)
Edwin... Edwin... Edwin... I told you
about these people. They only mate
with their own kind. It's called
Yuppie-In-Breeding... that's why so
many of them are retarded and wear
the same clothes. They're not human.
They can't feel love. They can only
negotiate love moments. They're
evil, Edwin. They're repulsed by
imperfection and horrified by the
banal -- everything America stands
for. Edwin, they have to be stopped
before it's too late. It's us or
them.
Slight pause, as EDWIN considers this.
EDWIN (V.O.)
(serious)
Okay, Jack.
END CREDITS.
CAMERA PANS from a wall clock as JACK LUCAS winds up his
broadcast:
JACK LUCAS (O.S.)
Well, folks... It's been a thrill, as
always.
(false sincerity)
"Have a perfect day"...
WE PAN several studio technicians making ready for the
end of the broadcast to the talk show host Jack Lucas --
handsome, aggressive, intelligent -- an underground media
star.
JACK
Everyone here on the Jack Lucas
Morning Show says "bye".
CREW
Bye!
JACK
This is Jack Lucas... So long...
arriverderch... I'll be sure to send
you a thought today as I lie in the
backseat of my stretch limo, have sex
with the teenager of my choice... And
that thought will be: Thank God I'm
me!
Jack motions to techy behind glass. Then leans back in
his chair, as a RADIO COMMERCIAL begins.
His expression seems grave -- not one you would expect
after a successful broadcast. He appears tired and
annoyed. He sighs in relief that it is over. The studio
team work around him in silence -- with no indication of
the relationship they have "on air." Jack pulls out a
bottle of aspirins and takes two.
JACK
(continuing; annoyed,
to the room)
I want you all to know I'm getting
sick again and it's because someone
keeps forgetting to raise the
thermostat before I come in here...
My fucking ass is freezing for the
first hour.
A techy makes mocking faces behind his back. Another
techy suppresses a laugh.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET/INT. LIMOUSINE - DAY
CLOSEUP of a script entitled: "On The Radio," a situation
comedy by Alan Siegal.
LOU ROSEN, Jack's agent, who sits in the backseat beside
Jack, thumbing through the script and chuckling to
himself. Jack stares in silence out the window.
LOU
You know some of this is very funny.
Cheever told me they've even secured
the rights to the Donna Summer song
to play over the credits.
JACK
(deadpan indifference)
Ooooo, I have chills...
(deadpan interest)
Are you sure they want me? I won't
read unless I have an offer.
LOU
Jack, of course... Not even a
question. When I spoke to him on the
phone this morning, I could actually
smell how much they want you for it.
I could smell it over the phone.
A street bum, half dressed, walks in between the stopped
cars, banging on the windows and asking for money. He
BANGS on Jack's window. Jack stares at him through the
tinted glass.
LOU
(continuing; looking
through his pockets)
I don't think I have any change.
JACK
(adamant)
I am not opening this window.
(looks at the bum)
A couple of quarters isn't going to
make any difference anyway.
The bum looks at the reflection of himself in the
mirrored window.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
An expansive Tribeca loft. The modern, minimalist decor
gives it a sleek, cold feeling. A space full of glass,
angles and edges, with no place to feel safe and sound.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY
The mirrored door closes revealing Jack's reflection --
He takes a good look at his face in the mirror -- admiring
every contour, every pore. He mumbles as he's making
coffee.
JACK
I hate my cheeks.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jack's girlfriend, SONDRA -- an artist with a beautifully
sculptured face and body -- sleek, cold, like Jack's
apartment, she is eating a bowl of cereal, studying the
cereal box. Beside her is a sketchpad with an ink
drawing of a stalk of wheat (similar to the cereal box)
growing out of the belly button of a naked male-figure
who's torso/pelvis is shaped like a map of America. Jack
enters, toweling his hair.
JACK
Can I ask that when you clean your
hands you wipe the ink off the inside
of the sink before it stains the
stainless steel.
SONDRA
(without looking up)
You can ask.
Jack exits.
CUT TO:
INT. JACK'S APARTMENT - DAY
Jack has in his hand the television script entitled, "On
The Radio."
SONDRA (O.S.)
Raoul called before. About dinner.
Jack quickly opens his eyes. Sondra crosses to the wall
of closets and begins to undress.
JACK
About dinner as a concept or about
dinner with...
(over-enunciating)
Raoul?
SONDRA
(deadpan)
You're so witty. I'm so jealous... I
need to get out of here, Jack, and do
something other than sit in this
apartment and count how many funny
lines you have per page.
JACK
You know, tomorrow's a very big day
for me... It would be nice if you
acted like you understood.
SONDRA
Fine. I'll say no.
JACK
They're putting me on film tomorrow.
SONDRA (O.S.)
(peeved)
Fine.
JACK
(deeply felt)
... First time in my life I'll be a
voice with a body. Do you know what
that means? What this could lead to?
SONDRA
(unsnapping her bra
in the front)
Jack, it's a sitcom -- you're not
defining Pi.
JACK
I'll remember that the next time you
get excited by drawing pubic hairs on
raisin bran.
(lighting joint and
inhaling)
Want some?
SONDRA
No, I have to work.
JACK
How un-sixties of you.
SONDRA
I was nine in the sixties.
JACK
I used to think my biography
would be JACK LUCAS - THE FACE
BEHIND THE VOICE, but now it
can be JACK LUCAS, THE FACE
"AND" THE VOICE...or maybe just
JACK - EXCLAMATION POINT...
JACK'S POV -
SONDRA slips off her top as she climbs the stairs.
JACK eyes her sexy back. Feeling sexy, he rises and follows her.
INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT.
SONDRA leans over and turns on the shower.
JACK naked legs enters the bathroom behind her and closes
the door. CAMERA ON BATHROOM DOOR as we hear:
SONDRA (O.S.)
(unaffected)
Jack, I have work to do too.
JACK seduces SONDRA O.S.
SONDRA (O.S.)
...Can't we do this later?...
(PAUSE)
All right..well..If we do this now, can
I have dinner with Raoul?
CUT TO:
BATHROOM FLOOR
CAMERA PANS a brown paper bag, a plate of half-eaten Chinese
food, a bottle of beer into a bathtub where JACK languishes
in a bubble bath studying his script. In the B.G. we hear
Ella Fitzgerald singing, "I'VE GOT THE WORLD ON A STRING"...
JACK
"Hey...for-...
False start. JACK clears his throat, pauses, then tries again...
(sarcastic...insincere...)
"Hey! Forgiiiive ME!"
CUT TO;
JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT.
Alarm clock reads 11:15. JACK is still rehearsing, while the
T.V. plays with no sound.
JACK
" HEY! Forgive MEEE!" ....
...FOR-GIVE-ME ...
Hey...forgive me!
(HE smiles and shuts the script:)
I have this...I really have this...
HE tosses the script aside and rubs his head. HE suddenly
notices, on the soundless T.V., a picture of himself on
a news broadcast. Confused, he raises the volume with the remote.
CUT TO:
INT. TV STATION - NEWS DESK - NIGHT.
A news broadcast: a REPORTER in mid-report.
JACK'S VOICE OVER
"...everything America stands for.
Edwin, they have to be stopped before
it's too late.... It's us or them."
REPORTER
It was Mr. Lucas's off-handed remark that
seemed to have a fatal impact on Mr.
Malnick...
CUT TO:
EXT. BABBITT'S - NIGHT.
REPORTER (V.O.)
An after work hot spot, Babbitt's
is popular with single young
professionals.
REPORTER ON SCENE (CONT'D)
Edwin Malnick arrived
at the peak hour of seven-fifteen,
took one long look at the handsome
collection of the city's best and
brightest - then removed a shotgun
from his overcoat and opened fire.
JACK'S face turns white.
CUT TO:
INT. - BABBITT'S - NIGHT.
To be INTERCUT with JACK'S APARTMENT.
The bar's glass has been blasted. Tables are overturned.
Paramedics are running about.
REPORTER
Seven people were killed before
Mr. Malnick ...
A PICTURE OF EDWIN MALNICK is shown as the REPORTER continues;
... turned the gun on himself and shot
a hole through his head....
EDWIN MALNICK looked sad and harmless. JACK quickly grabs the
PHONE and RE-PLUGS it. HE is about to make a call when he is
stopped by the REPORTER mentioning his name...
...Representatives of radio cult personality
Jack Lucas expressed regret, however
no formal comment has been made. None of Babbitt's
regulars had ever seen Edwin Malnick
before....but tonight, few will
soon forget this lonely man - who reached
out to a world he knew only through the
radio - looking for friendship...and
finding only pain...and tragedy...
This is Marc Saffron...Channel Ten news.
JACK is frozen. His breathing grows heavy.
HIS phone begins to ring. but JACK is unable to move.
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO STOP - DAY
CAMERA PANS DOWN from the tall skyscrapers to the tiny
video store that sits as if in a valley between two
mountains. PAN toward the store as we FOLLOW a customer
through the door we SUPER: A YEAR or so LATER.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP - DAY
CAMERA TRACKS through variety of customers looking
through the rentals, past the counter where employees are
helping the clientele and into the:
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE
Continuing to a CLOSE UP of the headline of a sensation-
alist tabloid -- "WOMAN KILLS PLASTIC SURGEON THEN SELF,
TOLD FRIENDS; I CAN'T BLINK WITHOUT PAIN."
The picture of a bug-eyed society woman is below the
caption. A hand comes out from behind the paper,
reaching for a bottle of scotch on the table. The bottle
disappears behind the paper.
ANNE, the owner of the store, enters abruptly -- closing
the office door behind her, a cigarette dangling for her
mouth. Her desk is organized litter -- her walls are
filled with porno tapes. She searches for one as she
talks:
ANNE
These people are insane today.
They took insane pills...
A bit about Anne as she searches for a video: Anne is in
her mid-to-late thirties... and she is all woman! She
has a raw, earthy, unmistakable sensuality. Her red
lipstick matches her red nail polish like a hat and glove
set. Inlaid on each nail is a rhinestone design of a
little star. Her angora sweaters are tight and clinging,
giving her breasts a decided lift and perkiness. Her
backless pumps slap the ground. A half-smoked cigarette
hangs out of her mouth with great expertise -- a skill
Anne obviously picked up in a high school bathroom. Her
voice is thick with a delicious Brooklyn twang.
She is pure streetwise in attitude, philosophy and emotions.
She turns and speaks to the man behind the tabloid.
ANNE
(continuing)
Hey! Mr. Happiness!
The man lowers the newspaper: it is Jack Lucas: no
longer the aggressive radio star but more -- a man who
looks like he hasn't slept in months. An intolerant,
paranoid, self-pitying misanthrope. The outrageous
articles fascinate him. Anne removes the paper and
scotch bottle.
ANNE
(continuing)
Are we going to work today or what?
Jack stares back. Anne waits for an answer. Jack looks
through the open office door and sees the store is packed
with rush hour customers -- any one, a potential mass
murderer.
ANNE
(continuing)
Hello!!!
Jack jumps a bit then rises and crosses out the door
cautiously.
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP - DAY
Jack's POV -- CAMERA MOVES "cautiously," taking in the
crowd as they move about the walls of movies. Suddenly,
the giant face of a FRUMPY SECRETARY -- POPS INTO FRAME.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
(to JACK)
Can you help me!...
Jack subtly shudders at the surprise. He stares deadpan.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
(continuing)
... I'm at an absolute loss. I've
been looking for an hour -- I'm
losing my mind.
(overly dramatic,
rambling on)
... I'm sort of in the mood for a
Katharine Hepburny, Cary Granty kinda
thing -- Nothing heavy... I couldn't
take heavy. Somethin' zany. I need
zany.
JACK stares at her, at a loss. SHE gets an inspiration.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
...OH! OH! Do you have anything with that...
comedian who's on that show? What's it -
ON THAT RADIO! Ya know, the guy that
says "HEY...FORGIVE ME...!
JACK grins his teeth and stares like a madman while ANNE,
aware of the affect this phrase has on him, throws a worried
look from the cash register. The FRUMPY SECRETARY laughs:
FRUMPY SECRETARY
I get such a kick outta the way
he says that...He's so adorable!
Didn't he make a movie...
I need something like that -
a funny, no brainy kinda thing.
JACK stares at the woman manically then turns to the shelves of
movies behind the desk. Selecting one, he hands it to her.
FRUMPY SECRETARY
Great...
(reading box aloud)
"ORDINARY PEEPHOLES"
THE WOMAN'S eyes go wide. JACK stares at her deadpan.
JACK
It's kind of a - Big Titty-
Spread Cheeky kinda thing...
ANNE, who has heard this entire exchange, has to bite her
lip to prevent herself from laughing...SHE pulls JACK away.
ANNE
...I'm sorry.
(almost laughing)
I need to borrow him for a moment.
As ANNE tugs at his sleeve, JACK eyes the WOMAN like a maniac
being lead away from his prey.
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE - DAY.
ANNE stands before JACK who leans against her office door.
ANNE
Are you in a mood today baby? Is this one of
those days when you're in ...whadda call it...
an emotional abyss? Talk to me, cause I don't
understand these moods.
JACK
Anne, they're MY moods. If you want to
understand moods, have one of your own!
ANNE
Why don't you go upstairs... take the day off.
All right?...I'll cook tonight.
SHE kisses him, then exits. JACK is not comforted in the least
by this show of affection - especially when he notices her bra
strap sticking out from her sweater.
JACK
Are you going for a specific look with this?
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT ABOVE VIDEO POP - NIGHT (RAINING)
Anne and Jack sit around a formica kitchen table in
silence after eating dinner. Anne smokes a cigarette. A
portable TV sits on a stand before them --
SITCOM ON TV (INTERCUT WITH ANNE'S APT.)
We hear a STUDIO AUDIENCE LAUGHING on the TV... Anne
herself can't help but laugh. She snorts from trying to
keep it in. Jack shoots her a dirty look.
ANNE
Well, it's funny! Whatta want from
me?
JACK
It's not funny. It's... sophomoric
and mindless... and dumb.
ANNE
Then why the hell do we watch all the
time?
JACK
(in one breath)
Because it makes me feel good to see
how not funny it is and how America
doesn't know the first thing about
funny which makes it easier not being
a famous funny TV celebrity because
that would just mean that I'm not
really talented.
TV ACTOR (V.O.)
Well forgiivvee meee...
APPLAUSE and LAUGHTER... Anne just stares at Jack.
ANNE
You're a sick fuck... I don't know
why you torture yourself.
(she hits his head)
Too many thoughts -- too crowded in
there. You should read a book.
She picks up her paperback and begins to read.
JACK
It's important to think. It's what
separates us from lentils... and
people who read books like...
(reading her paperback
cover)
... "Love's Flower Bed."
He gets up to get a drink from Anne's makeshift bar.
ANNE
(defensive)
It happens to be a beautiful love
story.
(hurt)
Ya know, you used to like that about
me. You used to say you liked that I
didn't make you think so much. That
we could be together and not think...
JACK
Yeah, well... suicidal paranoiacs say
funny things sometimes.
Anne is deeply hurt by this. She gathers her dignity and
exits into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Jack downs his drink as the sitcom returns to the TV O.S.
TV ACTOR (V.O.)
I hope when I'm your age you're
finally dead!
Big LAUGHTER.
JACK
Madness.
Fed up, Jack throws his coat on, storms out and slams the
door.
CUT TO:
EXT. VIDEO POP - NIGHT (RAINY)
Jack exits into the rain, tearing his coat on the front
door.
CUT TO:
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
Jack, depressed and wet, walks the streets of New York.
CUT TO:
EXT. JACK'S OLD APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
Jack stands before his old building, looking at it
longingly.
CUT TO:
EXT. PLAZA HOTEL - NIGHT - RAIN
A wet Jack stops to watch the goings on at the entrance.
He sees a limousine at the Plaza -- parked and awaiting
its occupants. A handsome man in his forties exits the
hotel and walks toward the limo. He is holding the hand
of his six year old SON, who is carrying a two foot high
plastic, smiling Pinnochio doll. Both father and son are
dressed in ties and jackets. Jack watches in envy. His
ripped, wet clothes a shabby reflection of the man's. He
eyes the limo with longing. As the man tips the doorman,
a BUM approaches and asks for money. When the man
refuses and turns his back to enter the limp, the Bum
becomes aggressive and starts pulling at the man's jacket
and yells:
BUM
Merry fucking Christmas... Happy
fucking New Year!!
He continues to harass the man, who pushes his son away.
The doorman comes to the man's rescue. As they both try
to pull the Bum off the man, the six year old son notices
Jack and walks calmly over.
Jack, mesmerized by the scene, doesn't notice the Boy.
BOY (O.S.)
Mr. Bum.
Jack looks down. The Boy stands directly before him.
Jack sort of smiles. The Boy extends his arms and offers
the Pinnochio doll to Jack. Jack is confused but the Boy
simply deposits the doll into his arms and walks back to
the limo. By that time, the Bum is being held by the
doorman, and both father and son enter the limo.
Jack holds the doll. He is surrounded by street people
asleep or drunk on the sidewalk near the hotel. He
angrily realizes there's not much difference between him
and them.
JACK
Anybody here named Jimeny?
A drunk groans. Jack snaps the doll under his arm and
walks O.S.
CUT TO:
STATUE NEAR PLAZA - RAIN
TIGHT SHOT of newspaper front page on sidewalk... Headline
reads: "FIFTH HOMELESS MAN FOUND BURNED ALIVE"... CAMERA
MOVES OUT to reveal that the paper is covering the head of
a street person sleeping on the edge of the stone, flowered
dividers on Park Ave... CAMERA PANS OVER to a drunken Jack,
sitting on the sidewalk against the divider, having a
conversation with Pinnochio beside him.
JACK
You ever read any Nietzsche?...
The smiling Pinnochio clearly has not.
JACK
(continuing)
... Nieztsche says that there are two
kinds of people in this world...
People who are destined for greatness
like... Walt Disney and... Hitler...
and then there's the rest of us... He
called us the Bungled and Botched.
We get teased. We sometimes get
close to greatness but we never get
there. We're the expendable masses.
We get pushed in front of trains...
take poison aspirins... get gunned
down in Dairy Queens...
He drinks from his Jack Daniels bottle...
JACK
(continuing)
You wanna hear my new title for my
biography, my little Italian
friend... "It Was No Fucking Picnic -
The Jack Lucas Story". Like it?...
Just nod yes or no...
(tries it in Pig-Italian)
"Il Nouva Esta Fuckin' Pinicko" --
(he smiles)
You're a good kid... Just say no to
drugs...
(he nods and drinks)
Ya ever get the feeling sometimes...
you're being punished for your
sins...?
CUT TO:
EXT. EAST RIVER, NEW YORK CITY - NIGHT
CLOSEUP of two feet standing beneath the railing
overlooking the East River. Taped to one ankle is a
brick. Taped to the other is a brick around a smiling
Pinnochio doll. An empty bottle of liquor drops to the
ground and shatters.
Jack stands prepared to surrender his fate and make the
final leap. He stares at the river, almost smiling. He
has made his decision. He is calm and serene. He raises
his foot over the railing.
The headlights of a car drive INTO FRAME, illuminating
Jack. He turns to see:
LEATHER (O.S.)
What's going on?...
Two white upperclass JUEVENILE DELINQUENTS -- one wearing
a leather jacket, the other a high school windbreaker --
get out of the car. Each is carrying a gallon of
gasoline. Leather also carries a bat. Jack is drunk but
he is immediately aware of the danger when he spots the
gasoline cans.
LEATHER
I said what's going on?
(walks up to Jack)
What are you doing here?
Jack shakes his head and before he knows it, Leather
shoves the bat into his gut, sinking Jack to his knees.
Windbreaker places the gasoline cans on the bench and
begins to unscrew them.
LEATHER
(continuing)
You shouldn't hang around this
neighborhood.
JACK
(clutching his stomach)
I... I was just leaving.
LEATHER
People spend a lot of hard earned
money for this neighborhood. It's
not fair... looking out their windows
to see your ass asleep on the
streets...
JACK
Yes... I... I agree...
LEATHER
Good.
(to Windbreaker)
You believe this drunk?
Windbreaker shakes his head.
LEATHER
(continuing)
.....Me neither.
JACK
No...No please...!
WINDBREAKER hands LEATHER the can, who raises it above JACK'S
head. AS THE GASOLINE SLOWLY LEAKS ONTO A PETRIFIED JACK SEES A
FIGURE MOVING OUT FROM THE DARKNESS.
FIGURE
All hope abandon, ye who enter here!
Startled, THE YOUTHS TURN to the shadows.
LEATHER
What the-....
AN ARROW with a rubber suction tip comes flying out of the
dark and connects to WINDBREAKER's groin.
WINDBREAKER
AHHH!
A FIGURE stands backlit - mysterious and powerful, noble and
fearless. JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER instinctually bond
together in the face of this fourth unknown entity.
The figure turns out to be a BUM. Grimy face, tattered layers
of clothing beneath a long over coat, a pork pie hat with a
twig sticking out of it like a plume in a helmet of yore.
Over his shoulder, a homemade bow and arrow set.
Although clearly downtrodden, behind his beaten appearance, there
radiates a calm intelligence and strength. There is something
distinctly attractive and confident about him. We learn later
his name is PARRY; a combination of Don Quixote and Harpo Marx.
PARRY stands before them absolutely delighted with himself -
hand on hip - beaming with pride..
PARRY
Unhand that degenerate - you adolescent ass
of a one balled donkey!
LEATHER
It's just a bum...You know, there's
enough in here for the two of you.
PARRY
(a la Glinda)
Ha, ha, ha, ha rubbish...now begone...before
somebody drops a house on you!...
LEATHER walks right up to PARRY.
LEATHER
You a fag too?
PARRY
Fag..a fag you say!?...
"Curst wolf! Thy fury inward on thyself
Pray and consume thee!"
LEATHER
Fuck you.
PARRY notices a pimple on LEATHER'S cheek.
PARRY
Oooo...that looks like it hurts.
HE presses the zit.
LEATHER
OWWW....What are you nuts?!
PARRY
BINGO! Tell the man what he's won!
WINDBREAKER grabs PARRY, pinning his arms behind him.
WINDBREAKER laughs. PARRY just turns his head and stares into
his eyes, causing WINDBREAKER to feel weird.
PARRY
I advise you to let us go.
LEATHER
You advise us!
PARRY
You're out numbered son.
PARRY glances over LEATHER's shoulder. LEATHER TURNS to see:
A BUM pushing a shopping cart comes out of the darkness. HE
is mumbling to himself incoherently. Another BUM, appears from
the dark, unnerving WINDBREAKER. PARRY looks to a third
BUM, stepping out of the dark, menacingly.
Taken by themselves, the BUMS would look harmless and pathetic.
But in the context of their uncharacteristic organization -
THEY appear frightening.
LEATHER and WINDBREAKER automatically whip out switchblades
and take a "rumble" stance - as if protecting their
catch, Jack. Jack sort of sides with them if for no other
reason than - he's known them longer.
LEATHER tries to remain confident. HE laughs.
LEATHER
Come on! Go for it!
What the hell are they gonna do?
They can't do nothin!
PARRY
Nothing! They can do nothing!
Gentlemen!
PARRY takes a few steps back and raises his hand.
JACK stands close to LEATHER and WINDBREAKER, who prepare
themselves for attack.
PARRY lowers his hand which acts as a signal for the BUMS.
The BUMS reach into their coats and each pull out a FLASHLIGHT,
which they shine at each other as THEY SING:
THREE BUMS
I like New York in June...How about you?
I like a Gershwin tune...How about you?
JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER are at a loss. The BUMS aren't
getting all the words, but they're definitely in sync.
PARRY lowers his hand proudly. The BUMS keep singing and turn
their flashlights upon JACK, LEATHER and WINDBREAKER - blinding
them to PARRY.
WINDBREAKER
Shit.
LEATHER brandishes his knife towards the dark spot where he
thinks PARRY stands. But PARRY takes a flying step back.
As he speaks, the Bums stop singing and hum the song.
PARRY
Son...There comes a time in
every man's life...and you will
learn this, if and when you become men...
From his hat, PARRY pulls a long tube sock tied at the
end and filled with a softball at the bottom...
PARRY
....That there are only three things in
this world ya need...
HE begins to swing the sock over his head - centrifugally
gaining force.
PARRY
...Respect for all kinds of life,
....the love of one other person who
you can trust and pork on a regular basis
...and a nice navy blazer...Oh, and one
more thing....always... keep your eye....
on the ball!
PARRY releases the "weapon".
The sock flies out of the darkness and, with amazing
accuracy - beans LEATHER on the forehead between his eyes. HE
drops his knife to rub his head. HE sinks out of camera:
LEATHER
Ow...Ow....OW!
WINDBREAKER grows worried as PARRY reaches in to the lining
of his coat, pulls out another "sock weapon" and starts swinging.
PARRY
However, the ability to bean
a shithead can be a fabulous advantage.
WINDBREAKER runs to the car and drives away.
PARRY crosses to a speechless JACK.
PARRY
(picking up LEATHER'S knife)
Are you all right?
LEATHER
(kneeling, rubbing his head)
OWW...MAN...
JACK
(disoriented)
Please don't hurt me?
PARRY
"OH beings blind! What ignorance besets you!
PARRY kneels down, pulls out some rope from his coat and proceeds
to tie up LEATHER, who is disoriented and dazed. PARRY hands
JACK LEATHER'S knife. Sickened by it, JACK flings it in the water.
LEATHER
You can't leave me tied up out here
alone, you fucking faggot!
PARRY
(PULLS DOWN LEATHERS PANTS, EXPOSING HIS BUTT)
You won't be alone for long.
PARRY pulls out a triangle and begins ringing it.
JACK
I need a drink.
PARRY
I know a great place.
(Raising his hand HE calls to BUM 1:)
...UH...WARREN!
BUMS (O.C.)
I like New York in June...How about-....
PARRY
(overlapping)
NO..GUYS...GUYS....
(to JACK)
They're so proud.
CUT TO:
EXT. A LOT BENEATH THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE - NIGHT.
A violent explosion between warring factions of bums, who
are defending territories and rights....
CUT TO:
Jack and Parry sit facing the three Bums from the previous
scene - A Black, A middle-aged Irishman and an Ex-Hippy -
and the Pinnochio Doll. The Foursome sit against the giant
base of the bridge discussing the issues of the day as they pass
a bottle. OTHER BUM CLIQUES are scattered throughout the lot.
BLACK
...There ain't no justice in life! There's
just satisfaction. And the death
penalty's just another violation of my
constitutional right to satisfaction Goddamn it.
IRISHMAN
(a lit cigarette hangs from his mouth)
I hate that.
HIPPIE
So, you mean if somebody like, killed
your mother, you wouldn't want him dead?
BLACK
Sure I would. But I should get to kill him Goddamn it.
IRISHMAN
(explaining further)
He gets to kill him. That's democracy, see.
A LULL takes over as they all consider this.
JACK sitting the furthest apart from the group, looks like he's
in the middle of a nightmare.
JACK
(mumbles to himself)
This is it. I'm in hell. Damned to
an eternity of idiotic conversation.
PARRY
(leans in and smiles)
Great place huh?
The Irishman lets out a bloodcurtling scream:
PARRY
(responds)
AAAAHHHH!
JACK jumps. Irishman looks to PARRY & speaks in calm monotone:
IRISHMAN
How are you tonight?
PARRY
Fine John and you?
IRISHMAN
Can't complain.
The IRISHMAN absent mindedly flicks his cigarette ashes onto
JACK'S SLEEVE, which is soaked with gasoline. The SLEEVE IGNITES
JACK panics - waving his is arm, trying to get it out.
PARRY is both amazed and impressed - seeing it as a sign.
The bums talk casually as JACK tries to rip off his coat.
BLACK
Crazy fuck.
HIPPY
(to IRISHMAN)
So what do you think of the death penalty?
IRISHMAN
Death's definitely a penalty. Ain't
no fucking gift. Life's too goddamn short.
With the fire out, JACK tries to leave, saying:
JACK
I better be going...
IRISHMAN
(thrusting the bottle at him)
Have a drink...don't be shy!
(JACK sits quickly)
PARRY
I think they like you.
This worries Jack. PARRY retrieves him and brings him back
to the group.
The IRISHMAN removes the bottle from his saliva soaked mouth and
hands it to JACK, who is disgusted:
JACK
Oh no that's all-
BLACK
DRINK! GODDAMN IT!
JACK grabs the bottle and drinks - holding back his nausea.
PARRY
Would anyone like a fruit pie?
THREE BUMS (O.C.)
No thank you...Too sweet...to fattening...Goddamn it.
JACK feels sick as the cheap liquor running through him.
IRISHMAN begins reciting a Chaucer passage in old English.
The BLACK stares off, half listening. PARRY turns to JACK,
his face beaming, he clasps his hands and says:
PARRY
Et in arcadia ego.
HIPPY
Man...Why did God invent mediocrity?
This remark acts like a slap in the face to JACK. The others
consider it in silence - not really knowing what it means.
The cheap liquor begins to take it's effect and from JACK'S POV,
WE FADE OUT OF THE SCENE ON THE NEXT LINES - AS HE CLOSE HIS EYES
AND SLIPS INTO A DRUNKEN SLUMBER.
HIPPIE (O.C.)
You were phenominal tonight, Parry.
(affirmations from the other two)
SUPER-BUM, man! Fucking Marvel Comics...
FADE-OUT.
FADE-UP ON:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT HIDEAWAY - MORNING.
JACK is asleep on a mattress beside a boiler spewing steam.
HE is slowly awakened by water dripping on his cheek - -
- the first dull pangs of a mean hangover making itself known.
HE opens his eyes, confused -- not knowing exactly what
happened.
CUT TO:
THE GIANT FACE OF PARRY
lying parallel beside him -- like a kid waiting for his
parents to wake up Xmas morning.
PARRY
(loud and cheery)
How are you feeling?
Jarred, Jack nods suspiciously. He notices the
surroundings --
JACK
Have I died?
PARRY
(friendly)
Hahahahaaa... Nononono... Not yet...
Hahahaha...
JACK
(his head throbbing)
If you're going to murder me, that's
fine... just don't laugh.
He tries to focus his eyes and looks around the room:
there is an extremely organized "living area" -- a make-
shift kitchen with hot plate, a nail in a wall with
clothes on hangers... There is also a dumpster sitting
beneath a garbage chute -- The dumpster has planets and
stars painted on its side.
Jack looks to the far wall and sees a handmade collage
mural: pictures cut out and pasted in a haphazard
manner, all medieval in origin; grassy landscape with
castles, knights and maidens on horses, crests and
symbols of the Crusades, and various renditions of the
Holy Grail... One maiden stands out from the rest -- a
frail looking doe-like creature.
On the adjacent wall, however, there are no pictures.
Only frantic scribblings in red marker... Out of the
scribblings we can see: an evil looking face with a bear
amateurishly drawn... a large red horse drawn as if it
hurt to get out the image... the style is violent and
erratic.
Jack looks to the other wall and finds Parry's arsenal
-- homemade "weapons" that also look medieval, like
lances made from mop sticks, nets made of knotted rope,
slingshots and a shield made from a garbage can cover
with a rose painted on it. Against each wall are piled,
what seems to be hundreds of books. Jack doesn't know
what to make of all this. He is frightened.
JACK
Where am I?
PARRY
My abode... My domicile... My neck of
the woods... Hungry? Breakfast? A
fruit pie perhaps?
JACK
No... thanks... Listen --
PARRY
My name is Parry.
JACK
(realizes he's barefoot)
Hi... Where are my shoes?
PARRY
They're --
(suddenly stands)
-- What?
JACK
(jumps)
Where -- ?
PARRY
(to the air)
What!?
JACK
What?!
PARRY
Sshhhh!
Parry looks like he's listening to someone. Then he
smiles broadly at Jack, which makes Jack worry even more.
PARRY
(continuing; to the
air)
I knew it! I knew it last night!
(beat; argues)
I did too! He's the one!
He kneels beside Jack, which makes Jack lean up against
the boiler.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Can you keep a secret?
Jack shakes his head.
PARRY
(continuing)
Do you know what the Little People
just told me?
JACK
The Little People?
PARRY
They said you're The One.
JACK
I'm the one what?
PARRY
(stands abruptly)
Oh shut up!!!
He picks up a can of wintergreen air freshener and starts
spraying, with violent strokes, to shut "them" up... Jack
gets more nauseous from the smell... Parry yells to the
air:
PARRY
(continuing)
... I've got a right to say
something. I mean, you're tying my
hands here!
(to Jack)
They say you're not ready to know.
JACK
I'm not...
(to himself)
Now, where are those shoes...
Jack makes a move to stand when Parry stops spraying and
yells:
PARRY
Hheeyy!!
Jack sits back down. Parry whispers to the air:
PARRY
(continuing)
... You're frightening him!
Parry kneels before him. Jack presses against the
boiler.
PARRY
(continuing)
... Do you know who I am?
JACK
Uhh... I'm drawing a blank.
PARRY
Take a guess...
(shouts to the air)
Let him guess!! Tch.
He goes for the air freshener but Jack's reply stops him.
JACK
Uh... gee... well... you seem to be
some kind of vigilante...
PARRY
No, no... I mean that sort of happens
along the way but no...
(proudly)
I'm on a very special quest.
JACK
A quest?
PARRY
But I need help and they sent you.
JACK
(clarifying)
The Little...
PARRY
They work for Him.
JACK
Him...?
PARRY
(leans in to whisper)
God... I'm the janitor of God.
Jack's face drops. Parry gets comfortable and explains
casually:
PARRY
(continuing)
... They came to me about a year ago.
I was sitting on the john having one
of the most satisfying bowel
movements -- you know the ones --
where you just see God... And I saw
them... just floating around...
hundreds of these... cute little fat
people... And they spoke. They said
"I" was chosen to help them get back
something very important they lost.
But my part might be very dangerous.
I said "Whoah".... slow down... ya
start hearing voices from floating
little fat people that tell you
you're on a mission for God and you
wind up in a mini-series. Then they
said "Look in Architecture Today, Feb
'88... page 33..."
Parry quickly crosses to a pile of magazines, grabs one
and dives back to Jack, who keeps scanning for his shoes.
Parry leafs through the magazine and opens to page 33.
PARRY
(continuing)
And there it was... plain as day.
He shows Jack a feature about Langdon Carmichael, a
Malcolm Forbes type real estate baron. The five page
pictorial depicts his ten million dollar restoration of
an old N.Y. Armory into a palatial city home. Caption
reads: "REAL ESTATE BILLIONAIRE LANGDON CARMICHAEL'S
TOWER OF POWER"...
JACK
Langdon Carmichael?
Carmichael himself -- a dashing bachelor around fifty-
five -- is shown standing in his private library beside a
glass commode. Parry points to inside the commode, where
a golden chalice is displayed.
PARRY
It's the Grail... The Holy Grail.
He indicates the pictures on the collage. Jack's losing
it.
JACK
The Holy Grail? Some billionaire has
the Holy Grail sitting in a commode
on Madison Avenue?
PARRY
I know! You can't imagine how
surprised I was. Who would think you
could find anything divine on the
Upper East Side.
JACK
(annoyed now)
Listen... I don't mean to be flippant
or to enrage you or anything but...
you're an imbecile. And I'm not The
One... I'm not any One...
Parry tries to speak but:
JACK
(continuing)
I think you're a very nice... very
nice psychotic man. I really
appreciate what you did for me. It
was a very brave and noble thing...
PARRY
Oh, please... you're embarrassing me.
JACK
(rising)
I wish you all the luck in the world.
When you get the Grail, I'm sure I'll
be seeing lots of you on various talk
shows...
PARRY
(upset)
But I can't get it... He's...
He runs to the wall with the scribblings in red and
indicates the evil face with the beard... He picks up a
red marker and begins scribbling furiously -- adding to
the face and the horse...
PARRY
(continuing)
He's out there... I don't know if...
He's always out there, see... and...
He drops the marker and smiles to Jack...
PARRY
(continuing)
See, you don't know him... That's why
you're the one... You can get it...
JACK
Listen, forget the shoes. I'll just
take a cab... Uh...
PARRY
Parry.
JACK
Parry... I'm Jack.
PARRY
I know...
Parry rushes to a corner and gets Jack's shows and
Pinnochio doll, then rushes to Jack and hands them over.
JACK
Thanks... You can keep the doll.
PARRY
Thanks a mill --
(like a corporate exec)
And I'll give you a buzz as soon as I
hear from the people upstairs and
we'll get this thing off the
ground... Thanks for stopping by,
Jack. Give my love to the wife and
kids.
Parry grabs Jack's hand and shakes it.
JACK
I'm not married.
PARRY
Funny -- you look married.
Horrified, Jack makes a hasty exit.
CUT TO:
INT. BROWNSTONE HALLWAY - MINUTES LATER
Jack steps out of what appears to be the entrance to the
basement. He walks down the hallway toward the front
exit when suddenly an apartment door swings open. FRANK,
a burly black superintendent with a hearing aid, steps
out.
FRANK
Where you comin' from?!
JACK
Uh... basement I think...
FRANK
(yells to basement)
I tell him no visitors!!!
Jack's hangover sets off another explosion.
JACK
Sorry... I...
WIFE (O.S.)
Fraaaaankkk! Who's at the door?!
Jack glances through the half-opened door and sees the
bottom half of Frank's wheelchair bound WIFE: one leg is
normal, the other is a pink prosthetic. Both, however,
are wearing furry mules. Jack's nightmare doesn't seem
to end.
FRANK
I'm talkin' to somebody. Ya gotta
yell like a banshee?!!
WIFE (O.S.)
It's just my manner!
FRANK
(hard of hearing)
What?
WIFE (O.S.)
I said it's just my manner!!!
Jack's head is now nearly split down the middle.
FRANK
You a friend of Parry's?
JACK
No...
(trying to clear his
vision)
He is supposed to live there?
FRANK
Yeah, well... I let him stay there.
What else could I do after such a
tragedy?
JACK
Tragedy?
FRANK
(dying to tell)
He and his wife was were at some bar
..and some nut came in with a shotgun
and blew the place apart. She was a beautiful
girl...She never knew what hit her.
Jack goes numb. He can't believe his ears. HE leans
against the wall for support....CAMERA ON Jack as
Frank continues O.S.
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
....You must have heard about it. That
nut who listened to the radio?
LIGHT CHANGE on Jack against the bare wall. (Perhaps even
the scenery is moved behind him) as we fade out Frank's voice.
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
Parry's not his real name. His real
name's Henry Sa....
- - And fade in Anne's voice...
ANNE (V.O.)
..Listen. I understand about open
relationships. Please. I was a teenager
in the sixties after all....I understand!
CUT TO:
INT. VIDEO POP OFFICE - DAY.
Anne sits at her desk, surrounded by her shelves of porno
tapes. Jack sits before her looking like death warmed over.
Frank's voice reverbs in his head as he half listens to Anne.
ANNE
....But when you care about somebody
ya need more than an open relationship.
Ya need a phone call.
Her intercom RINGS. Anne's tone immediately changes:
ANNE
(continuing)
WHAT!....
EMPLOYEE (V.O.)
A guy wants to check out the
pornos...
ANNE
So send him back!
(she flicks off the
intercom and returns
to Jack, softly)
... Ya need to pick up the phone and
tell me that you're not dead... that
you haven't been attacked or raped or
who knows. You disappear last night.
I don't know what to think. I was up
all night. Look at you!
A meek, fiftyish BUSINESSMAN has entered and begins to
browse through the porno videos discreetly.
JACK
I'm sorry.
ANNE
I smell gas... Do you smell gas...
She and the Businessman exchange glances. Jack is about
to respond when Anne continues:
ANNE
(continuing)
I can't tell you how distraught I
was. All night long. What the hell
happened?
JACK
I was attacked.
ANNE
What!
JACK
Two kids tried to set me on fire.
ANNE
Oh my God... What did they do! My
God!!!
She crosses to Jack and hugs him... The Businessman turns
with a concerned look, having overheard. Jack indicates
to Anne that he feels awkward in front of the
Businessman. Anne confronts the Businessman with as
little tact as possible.
ANNE
(continuing)
Are you almost done?!
BUSINESSMAN
(flustered)
Well...
ANNE
Whatta looking for -- a story!?
(makes a selection)
Here... "Creamer Versus Creamer"...
It won an award.
Jack hides his face so as not to laugh. Anne ushers the
man out.
ANNE
(continuing)
You were attacked. My God. Should I
call a doctor! Did you call the
police...
JACK
No, I'm fine... really...
ANNE
You're all right... you sure...
Jack nods. So, Anne moves on to more important matters.
ANNE
(continuing)
... So... where did you sleep last
night?
JACK
I... I stayed at a friend's. Listen,
I --
ANNE
(puts up her hand)
Please... before you go on... let me
tawk... okay... We've had a wonderful
time together... When we first met,
you said this wasn't serious and I
shouldn't get serious and then you
moved in and we haven't been serious.
And I just wanna say that I have no
regrets. None. And don't wanna have
any now so I want ya to be up front
with me... I want the truth.
If you're seein' somebody else, let
me know... You don't have to pour
gasoline on yourself and light a
match just to break up with me. Just
tell me the truth.
Jack looks to her -- somewhat admiring the bravery and
integrity underneath the peasant stock.
JACK
I'm not seeing anyone else. I really
was attacked.
ANNE
Okay.
(satisfied, she struts
to her desk)
... I love you...
Jack smiles weakly.
ANNE
(continuing)
... You don't have to say it back...
although it wouldn't kill you. I'll
cook tonight.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT ABOVE THE STORE - NIGHT
Anne and Jack have just finished eating dinner.
JACK
You know what the Holy Grail is?
Anne takes a long drag then puts it out in her leftover
food. Jack is repelled by the habit.
ANNE
The Holy Grail? Yeah... I know that.
It was like -- Jesus' juice glass.
Jack just stares at her.
ANNE
(continuing)
Oh, I used to be such a Catholic.
JACK
You still believe in God?
ANNE
Oh sure... Gotta believe in God.
(trying to be
intellectual)
But I don't think God made man in his
own image. No. 'Cause most of...
the bullshit that happens, is because
of men. No, I think man was made out
of the devil's image and women were
created out of God -- because women
can have babies which is sorta like
creating, and which also explains why
women are attracted to men, because,
lets face it, the devil is a helluva
lot more interesting -- I slept with
a few saints and let me tell you...
Booooorring!!!... And so the whole
point of life, I think, is for men
and women to get married so the devil
and God can live together and, ya
know -- work it out...
(Anne moves to him and
leans in for a kiss)
... Not that we have to get married.
Jack notices a brown spot on her chin and pulls away.
JACK
... You have a little... uh...
something on your face...
ANNE
Oh, I got a pimple... This stuff is
supposed to blend with my skin
color... Like it really works, ya
know...
Jack moves to the bar to fix a drink. Anne follows him
and takes the drink out of his hand. Jack knows what
this means.
JACK
I don't think I'm up to it tonight...
Anne massages his shoulders.
JACK
I had a very traumatic experience...
I...
Anne nods but keeps massaging. As long as he wasn't with
a woman, she doesn't care. Her massaging gets more
intense -- moving up his head and contorting his face as
he speaks.
JACK
(continuing)
I think I'm getting sick...
(trying to be
forceful)
I... I slept in a boiler room,
Anne... I'm tired... I'm upset...
I'm... just not in the mood!... Okay!
Anne grabs his face with both hands and pulls him into a
kiss. She proceeds to climb onto his body as she
utilizes a skill she picked up in high school make-out
parties. She is a pro. Jack, against all his better
judgement and will -- despite the pimple cream -- is
rendered helpless by this woman's passion... He returns
the embrace and guides her to the floor.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S LIVING ROOM - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Jack sits in his underwear on the living room floor
before an open closet with a cardboard box between his
legs. The box is filled with tapes of Jack's past radio
shows. He begins to sort through them... reading titles,
remembering moments... then stops when he comes upon
newspaper clippings of the murder at Babbitt's. Edwin
Malnick's face stares at him from a yellowed front page.
The memories sour. He moves to the bar. Anne exits the
bedroom.
ANNE
Whatsa matter, hon -- can't sleep?
She sees the radio tapes.
JACK
I tell you something, Anne. I really
feel like I'm cursed.
ANNE
Oh stop. Things will change. My
Aunt Mary always said, there's a
remedy for everything in this world
except death and having no class.
JACK
I get this feeling like I'm... a
magnet but I attract shit. Out of
all the people in this city, why did
I meet a man who's wife I killed?
ANNE
You didn't kill anybody. Stop.
JACK
I wish there was some way I could...
just... pay the fine and go home.
Anne crosses to Jack and gently touches him. Jack turns
and clutches her to him tightly. Lowering his head to
hers, he cries...
ANNE
I know. I know, honey.
CUT TO:
INT. PARRY'S BASEMENT - THE NEXT DAY
Jack is alone in the basement. He slowly walks around
the room -- picking up little items here and there, as if
trying to discover some clue to Parry. He scans the
titles of the piles of books. All of them have something
to do with medieval history or literature, myths, or the
Crusades... He picks up one of the books and opens it...
Page after page has been ripped out anywhere there might
have been a picture or a diagram. He comes upon a large
scroll that he unravels. It is a map, drawn by Parry, of
Langdon Carmichael's house and the surrounding blocks...
He rolls it up... The Pinnochio doll sits on a broken
chair facing the wall with the nightmarish scribblings...
acting like a sentinel.
He crosses to the prominent picture of the maiden with
the long hair. He notices a small stand before the
picture, with a candle. It is like a shrine with
offerings: a flower, a small perfume sampler, a box of
Jawbreakers candy and a dime store romance novel. Jack
doesn't understand.
FRANK (O.S.)
Can I help you?
JACK
I'm... just looking for Parry...
FRANK
He's not here.
Jack is drawn to the scribblings on the wall and makes
out the faint shape of a man on a horse.
JACK
What did you say his name used to be?
CUT TO:
INT. FRANK'S APARTMENT - DAY
CLOSEUP - duffel bag of Parry's things before Jack.
FRANK (O.S.)
Hospital said it would be better if
we kept certain things away from him.
Frank speaks O.S. as Jack looks through the items: ... a
Master's degree in Medieval History... Another in
Medieval Literature...
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
... That's his real name -- Henry
Sagan. He was a teacher over at
Columbia. They kept him in some
mental place on Staten Island... He
did not speak for over a year then
all of a sudden, he starts talkin'
only now he's this Parry guy.
... A torn picture of Parry in a tux... his wedding
ring... a thesis entitled THE FISHER KING, A MYTHIC
JOURNEY FOR MODERN MAN... Frank continues:
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
... He used to live upstairs with his
wife, so when he got released they
sent him here. I felt bad. He
couldn't work. Nobody wanted him.
So I let him stay in the basement.
He helps out -- I give him a couple
of dollars. People throw things away
he gets them.
Jack holds a beautiful photographic portrait of Parry's
wife:
FRANK (O.S.)
(continuing)
...She was a beautiful girl.
He was crazy about her.
CUT TO:
EXT. A LOT BENEATH THE MANHATTAN BRIDGE - DAY.
The BLACK, the IRISHMAN and the HIPPY are in their usual
place. THEY lean against the wall, observing the afternoon
life that walks by. JACK enters the scene and asks them where
PARRY is. The HIPPY begins to speak and points to his right.
JACK nods in appreciation and hands them a couple of dollars.
CUT TO:
EXT. CORNER OUTSIDE METROPOLITAN LIFE BUILDING-LATER THAT DAY.
JACK approaches PARRY from across the street; he is sitting on
top of a car near a souvlaki vendor and eyeing A CLOCK TOWER
across the street and to the left of the building. HE studies
the time as he recites under his breath (we only hear excerpts);
PARRY
"Soveriegn princess of his captive heart
what dire affliction has thou made me
suffer, thus banished from thy presence
with reproach, and fettered by thy rigorous
command, not to appear again before thy
beautiful face. Deign princess, to remember
this thy faithful slave, who now endures
such misery for love of thee"....
JACK
Parry!
PARRY smiles casually and, without looking at Jack, says:
PARRY
Hi Jack...
HE then returns his gaze to the clock which is approaching NOON.
JACK reaches in his pockets and pulls out some money.
JACK
Hi. Listen...I thought maybe you could use a-
THE CLOCK STRIKES NOON. PARRY grabs JACK...
PARRY
COME ON!
HE pulls JACK into the building.
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - NOON.
Several business men and women make their way out the
elevators for lunch. PARRY and JACK position themselves
with a clear view of the center elevator. The doors open
and after several more aggressive co-workers exit, PARRY'S
DAMSEL in distress appears out of a revolving door, but
quickly gets "revolved" back into the building....
PARRY
She'll be back....
Finally, Lydia makes an exit.
PARRY
Isn't she a vision?
REACTION SHOT OF A BEWILDERED JACK as he looks at
LYDIA - a dowdy, waif-like sparrow of a thing - makes her
way through the lobby. SHE is torturously self-conscious,
clumsy, formless and plain. She wears loose frocks that give
her no shape and make her appear to be swimming in material.
SHE wears no make-up; her unstyled hair is kept off her face
by a single beret that keeps sliding down her head, and her
contact lens are always dry, causing her to blink and use drops.
JACK
Yeah, gorgeous...Look, I'm going.
I just wanted to give you...
Starts to dig in his pocket, but Parry is already off.
PARRY
Let's go.
JACK follows.
CUT TO:
EXT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY.
Behind the glass in interior, we can see LYDIA sitting by herself
eating lunch. CAMERA PANS OUT TO THE STREET where PARRY
and JACK are sitting on the hood of a car, watching...
PARRY
She loves dumplings. It's her
Wednesday ritual.
LYDIA raises a dumpling to her lips with a pair of chopsticks.
SHE then accidentally drops it into a dish of soy sauce and
splatters her dress. Unnerved, she hastily wipes herself down,
knocking over a glass of water when she removes the napkin.
PARRY
Isn't she sweet. She does that every time...
Jack squints at Lydia as if trying to see what Parry
sees.
CUT TO:
INT. BOOKSTAND NEAR GRAND CENTRAL STATION - DAY
Jack and Parry have followed Lydia into a bookstore. She
stands browsing through a revolving bookstand. They
watch from a distance.
PARRY
She buys a new book every two days.
Lydia spins too hard, sending books flying off. She
replaces the books, but keeps one called "Loves Lusty
Longings"...
PARRY
(continuing; smiles with
great affection)
She's into trash. Whadda you gonna
do?
CUT TO:
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - DAY
Parry and Jack are following Lydia, when she stops at a
newsstand.
PARRY
She's got a real sweet tooth. If
anybody ever told me I'd be in love
with a woman who eats Jawbreakers,
I'd said they were nuts.
(reverentially)
But look at that jaw!
Jack doesn't want to look. If the Little People made
Parry seem crazy, this infatuation confirms him as beyond
hope.
CUT TO:
EXT. MET LIFE BUILDING - DAY
Lydia buys some candy then turns and walks back toward
her office building, once again waiting her turn to dive
into the revolving doors. She disappears into the
building.
JACK
Do you follow her every day?
PARRY
Huh-huh. I'm deeply smitten.
JACK
What's her name?
PARRY
I don't know.
A businessman, walking in the opposite direction, throws a
candy wrapper on the street as he passes Jack and Parry.
Parry suddenly stops, outraged, pulls out a slingshot and
fires a stone at the man's head. The businessman is hit
but doesn't know how, since Parry grabs Jack's arm and
resumes walking casually in the opposite direction.
JACK
Why did you do that?
PARRY
Well, if every time someone did
something offensive they hit in the
head with a pebble, I think
they might alter their behavior.
What do you think Jack...
Before Jack can respond, PARRY spots a rummage find:
PARRY
Oh look! A cooler!
Parry spots an abandoned COOLER filled with junk and starts
going through it. Things are getting weird again, so JACK
seizes the moment to accomplish his initial task - he pulls
out a fifty dollar bill and hands it to PARRY.
JACK
Here...I just would like to help
you. I thought...maybe...you
could use some money.
PARRY
Fifty dollars?
JACK digs deeper and hands him a twenty. PARRY is dumbfounded.
JACK
Here's another twenty. Will that do?
(sorting through his change)
I mean, what's it going to take!
PARRY
No..no, it's..I don't know what to say.
This is so nice of you...Jack...
HE hugs him on the street which embarasses JACK to no end.
JACK
(pulling away)
That's O.K.
PARRY
Can I take you to lunch?
JACK
No..I have to get back to work.
Take care of yourself.
JACK walks away. CAMERA stays on JACK for a few yards until he
turns around and sees:
PARRY handing the money to a BUM in a doorway, yelling into
an imaginary phone.
BUM
SELL!....SELL!....SELL!
(HE takes the money
from PARRY)
BUY!...BUY!...BUY!...
JACK
HEY!!...HEY!
JACK walks back to PARRY, who is explaining to the BUM, who is
now talking gibberish:
PARRY
(as if he understands)
Well, I think you should be realistic.
Ya can't start an ad agency on fifty dollars!
JACK
What are you doing?
(to BUM)
Give that back!
The Bum screams in defiance... PARRY pulls JACK away...
JACK
But I gave it to you!
PARRY
Well what am I gonna do with it?
JACK
I don't know. But I gave it to
you...to help YOU...not him.
PARRY
(beat, then smiles mischieviously)
You really want to help me?
A wary JACK, who's afraid to reply.
CUT TO:
EXT. LANGDON CARMICHAEL'S TOWNHOUSE - DAY.
On the Upper East Side, PARRY and JACK stand across the
tree-lined street from the ten million dollar armory/house.
PARRY
Pretty impressive huh?...Don't let it scare you.
I'll admit it's formidable but
everything has it's weakness.
JACK
You can't just break into Langdon
Carmichael's house. This man has done nothing.
PARRY
O.K...let me explain this one more
time...The Holly Grail is in -....
JACK
All right! Listen - please...don't
start drooling or...rolling your eyes
when I tell you this but - You shouldn't
do this..There is no Holy Grail.
PARRY
Of course there is, Jack. What do you
think the Crusades were - a frat initiation?
I don't think so...There has to be a Grail.
JACK
Look, you're only sort of insane, really.
People like you can lead semi-normal lives.
You could get a job...
PARRY
I don't need a job. I have a quest.
JACK
I take it back - you're fucking deranged...
And you're going to get yourself killed
trying to get in there!
PARRY
Tch. You are so sweet...Now I know
why you're saying this.
...You're afraid I'm in danger and
you're trying to protect me.
JACK
No. I think you're a moron and
I don't want to get into trouble.
Ignoring this, PARRY gets filled with emotion and hugs JACK.
PARRY
...You are such a great guy. First
the money, now this.
(to the LITTLE PEOPLE)
Isn't he fabulous!?
JACK
(pulling away)
Please don't hug me in public again, O.K.?
PARRY
(shouts)
I LOVE THIS MAN...YA HEAR ME JADED CITY...
(JACK is mortified)
...I'M DAFFY ABOUT THIS GUY AND
I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!!!
An COUPLE pass by, obviously not wanting to know it.
JACK
Will you shut-up!!!
PARRY
You're a true friend.
JACK
I'm not. Believe me. I'm scum.
PARRY
You're a real honest to goodness
good guy.
JACK
I'm self-centered, I'm weak - I don't
have the will power of a fly on shit...
PARRY
That's why the Little People sent you.
Just like magic.
JACK
I don't believe in little floating
people! THERE IS NO MAGIC!
PARRY
So what? You going to help me?
JACK
WILL YOU PLEASE... please listen to me ...
(HE GRABS PARRY by the shoulders)
You know none of this is true - PARRY
the Grail, the voices... Jack...
There's a part of you that Come on...what are
knows this isn't true. saying...
I know who you are... I know who you are..
or who you were. You're acting really-
You don't belong on the No, no, no, no...
streets. You're intelligent Jack...
man....you're a teacher... Jacck!...
You were a teach at Hunter College.
Don't you remember?... (SCREAMS)
PARRY breaks away from him. HE falls back onto the ground.
THE SCREAM STOPS and is replaced by an eerie SILENCE.
As if sound were ripped out of space. JACK speaks but no
sound comes out...We are in PARRY'S world for this brief
moment...JACK leans over to help PARRY, but the latter inches
away...fearful of the vision he sees: something out of sight,
looming over JACK, breathing FIERY SMOKE...JACK tries to raise
PARRY off the ground and, in doing so, the vision for PARRY
comes into full view:
CUT TO:
A MAGNIFICENT BURNISHED RED STEED
stared down at Parry. On top of him sits the Red Knight.
- a helmeted figure with a beard in a flowing red cap,
holding a lance. He stares at Parry. Closing his eyes,
Parry raises his hands to protect himself.
Jack looks around and sees nothing. He acts with great concern:
JACK
(Mouthing in silence)
Perry...you all right?
HE embraces PARRY by the shoulders. PARRY turns to him opening
his eyes, then turns back to the KNIGHT to discover that:
The HORSE and the KNIGHT have moved several feet away, and
are continuing to back up...as if in retreat.
JACK speaks as the sound is returned.
JACK
Parry answer me...are you all right?
PARRY smiles in amazement.
PARRY
He knows who you are!
(amazed)
He's afraid! I can tell!
JACK (O.S.)
You're totally gone, aren't you?
CUT TO:
THE RED KNIGHT
He pulls the reins back, forcing the horse up onto its
hind legs. Then, he gallops off.
CUT TO:
PARRY AND JACK
PARRY
We've got'em... come on!!!
Parry runs O.S. in the direction of the Knight. Jack is
not about to follow, until he sees -- Parry runs right
into the intersection of 94th & Fifth almost getting hit
hit by a cab.
JACK
Jesus.
Jack runs after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. FIFTH AVE. AND 74TH - DAY
Parry reaches where the Red Knight stood and looks.
CUT TO:
THE RED KNIGHT
riding onto the sidewalk and into Central Park.
CUT TO:
PARRY, as JACK reaches him.
JACK
What is going o-
Before he can finish, PARRY is off again. JACK races after him.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY.
THEY climb the wall and run into the park. THEY dodge past women
with strollers, runners, bikers, sun worshippers, etc....
THEY run deep into an extremely woody section of Central Park.
The RED KNIGHT appears first to the left, then re-appears to
the right. PARRY darts about like a madman.
EXT. ROCK - CENTRAL PARK - DAY
The Red Knight is perched atop a rock. He and Parry exchange
looks. The Knight and his horse rear up, two towering figures
against the Central Park South skyline.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY.
Parry, uttering a war cry, rushes off again.
EXT. ROCK - CENTRAL PARK - DAY
JACK, exhausted and bedraggled, climbs the rock to follow.
He reaches the top, panting.
JACK
Oh...Oh...Oh God...I'm dying.
I can't breath and I'm dying.
HE finds PARRY sitting Buddha-like, on the top of the rock,
calmly gazing out at the beautiful scenery before him.
PARRY
Isn't it great up here...
He's gone now, but we had him on the run!
We would've had his ass if we had horses!
He's running scared!
JACK
WHO! WHO'S RUNNING?!! WHO HAVE WE BEEN
CHASING!?? CAN I ASK THIS QUESTION NOW!!!
CAMERA PANS BACK SLOWLY from behind Jack and Parry.
PARRY
I'm sorry Jack. I thought you saw him.
CAMERA reveals the head of a horse.
JACK
SAW WHO!!?
PARRY
The Red Knight!
JACK
The Red...?
(stares at him in wonder)
You're totally gone, aren't you?
Frustrated, JACK turns to leave but this time there is a sound -
someone is crying O.S.
PARRY
.....Do you hear that?! Oh
"Heaven be praised, in giving me an
opportunity, so soon of fulfilling the
duties of my profession...These cries
doubtless proceed from some miserable male
or female, who stands in need of my
immediate aid and protection"
And he's off....A reluctant JACK pauses before following.
JACK
This is too hard.
CUT TO:
EXT. - CENTRAL PARK; BRIDLE PATH - DAY.
The park's bridle path. A BEATEN MAN cries as he sits in the
middle of the dirt bridle path - mumbling to himself, trying
to bury himself in dirt....HE hears the two men coming.
GAY BUM
GET AWAY! GET AWAY!!....
PARRY kneels down to him. JACK keeps a safe distance away.
PARRY
It's O.K...It's O.K...Lets me help you up.
GAY BUM
NO...I WANNA GO! I WANNA GO NOW!
PARRY
Come on now...You can't sit here.
GAY BUM
NO! I want a debutante on a horse
to step on me. Leave me alone!!
JACK
(wanting to leave)
Parry...
PARRY
Buddy, the days of the debutantes
are ... not what they used to be.
GAY BUM
(starts to cry)
Isn't that awful? Poor Brenda Frazier.
Poor Little Gloria. They ruined them!
THEY ATE THEM ALIVE!
PARRY
(helping him up)
It was a crime.
GAY BUM
Leave me alone...I wanna go...
PARRY lifts him up - he looks to JACK for help.
PARRY
Will you get the other side.
(JACK hesitates)
Jack?
The man's cuts and suicidal demeanor turn JACK off.
JACK
Listen, he just needs to sleep it
off. Someone will take care of him.
PARRY
Who?
JACK
Well, maybe he wants to stay here.
(to bum)
Do...do you want to stay here?
GAY BUM
(suddenly lucid and pissy)
Oh, yes, thank you - I really love bleeding
in horseshit. How very Gandhiesque of you.
PARRY looks to JACK, who then begrudgingly helps the BUM up.
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - LATER.
In a room at the end of the line of chairs, PARRY stands holding
the GAY BUM. JACK stands a safe distance away, unable to
take his eyes off the scene before him : seated against the
wall are an assortment of derelicts, drunks, screaming withdrawl
victims and jacketed schizophrenics. JACK has a hard time moving.
PARRY
(to JACK, referring to GAY BUM)
Will you watch him for a minute?
Before Jack can respond, PARRY shifts the GAY BUM'S body
into JACK'S arms, then moves about the room, introducing
himself to the various patients as JACK watches. HE moves
down the line...saying hello, wiping people's brows,
holding the hands of an angry bag lady mumbling incoherently.
Smiling and saying hello to each one, no matter how frightening
they seem. HE appears to have a soothing affect.
GAY BUM
I wanna go...Just let me go...
JACK
Uh...Where...where do you want to go?
GAY BUM
(upset)
A real nice place I know...
Ah...can't get there! Not tonight.
JACK
(being positive)
Where? Maybe we can.
GAY BUM
(overlapping, crying)
No...no...we can't...we can't..
JACK
(with more feeling)
Come on...maybe we can...where do you want to go?
GAY BUM
Venice...Like Katherine Hepburn in SUMMERTIME.
(The GAY BUM cries in frustration).
....Why can't I be Katherine Hepburn...
JACK stares at him, at a complete loss for a response.
GAY BUM
I wanna die...I just wanna die...
JACK, against all better judgement, pats the BUM'S hand in
comfort. Unexpectedly, the GAY BUM leans his head on JACK'S
shoulder, and cries. JACK, wide-eyed with embarassment, looks
over to PARRY -
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
PARRY is teaching a song to a SCITZHO, A YUPPIE IN A STRAIGHT
JACKET, and a paranoid BAG LADY...
BUM
O.K..everyone know their parts...
Here we go...
(sings)
"I like New York in June"...
HE points to the YUPPIE who replies:
YUPPIE
"How about you..."
PARRY
"I like a Gershwin tune..."
PARRY points to the SCITZHO, who stares at him blankly, drooling:
PARRY
...Good!.... "I like to read good books"
HE points to the BAG LADY, who is talking to herself:
BAG LADY
Where the hell am I gonna put the
children? Goddamn daughter-in-law!
Comes into my house looking for dustballs!
GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY DINING ROOM...you ingrate!
PARRY
Tempo, people...tempo...
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - DAY
JACK, his arm around the despairing GAY MAN, is sharing his
problems.
JACK
Can you tell me something? Did you lose
your mind all of a sudden or was it a
slow gradual process?
GAY BUM
(suddenly coherent)
Well,... I'm a singer by trade...
Summer stock...nightclub revues...
that kind of thing...It used to be
what I absolutely lived for...God...I can do
GYPSY backwards - every part- but, one
night...in the middle of singing
"Funny..... - it suddenly hit me...
...what does all of this really mean?
(JACK nods in a knowing metaphysical aggreement)
That, and the fact that all my friends are
dead...God, I sound like a veteran.
Dad would be so proud.
At that moment a PIZZA BOY enters, making a delivery:
PIZZA BOY
Pizza!
Suddenly, DOCTORS and NURSES appear out of the wood work and
swarm around the delivery boy.
CUT TO:
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM- DAY
PARRY notices the time, passing by the doctors and pizza.
PARRY
Jack, it's almost five. We're going to be late.
We're going to miss her!
PARRY exits. JACK turns to the GAY BUM, exhaustedly.
JACK
Um...I've got to run. I've bee doing
this all day. Are you going to be all right?
GAY BUM
Oh please!...I was born a Catholic in Brooklyn...
I've been to hell and back....
I'll be fine...
(adds quite sincerely:)
....Thanks...You're a gem.
JACK nods, a little self-consciously, and exits.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION: A BANK - RUSH HOUR
PARRY and JACK sit on the floor enjoying a cup of coffee.
A VIETNAM VET in a wheelchair with no legs sits near the opposite
wall, along with at least fifteen other homeless beggers.
Another MAN sits against a cash machine, crying. A WOMAN passes
by and drops some change in the VET's cup without saying
a word. The Vet, SID, smiles broadly.
SID
God Bless You... Have a nice day.
(to Jack and Parry)
Ya hear Jimmy Nickels got picked up
yesterday...
Parry is too busy scanning the Grand Central main floor
to answer. Realizing Parry isn't answering, Jack feels
obliged to pick up the conversation.
JACK
Oh yeah?
SID
He got caught --
(passer-by drops coins in
cup)
God bless... Have a safe trip home...
(to Jack)
-- Got caught pissin' on the
bookstore. Man's a pig. No excuse
for that. We're heading for social
anarchy when people start pissing on
bookstores!
Jack smiles at this observation. He then tries to get
Parry's attention.
JACK
You'll never see her in this crowd.
Parry doesn't answer. He looks like a dog waiting for
its master. People walk by Jack at a frantic pace. He
sits uncomfortably against a wall. A man almost steps on
him as he walks by and tosses a coin at Sid, missing the
cup and forcing Sid to bend over... Jack picks the coin
up for him.
SID
Bless you.
JACK
Asshole! Guy didn't even look at
you.
SID
(takes coin)
He's paying so he don't have to look.
What he doesn't know is, he's paying
for a service. Guy goes to work
every day and for eight hours, seven
days a week, he bends over and gets
it right up the ass till he can't
stand...
Parry stands up and begins pacing before the main floor.
SID
(continuing)
... But one day, right before
quitting time on Friday, his boss is
going say something like "Say Bob --
come into my office and kiss my
ass"... and Bob is going think --
"The hell with it! I don't care what
happens. All I want right now is to
see the expression on his face when I
stab him with these pair of
scissors"...
Parry looks at the clock above the information booth --
5:00.
SID
(continuing)
... But then he thinks of me -- "wait
a minute!"... he says... "It's not so
bad. At least I got two arms and two
legs and I ain't beggin' for money."
He puts down the scissors, and
puckers up...
Jack is impressed with this man.
SID
(continuing)
... I'm what you call a moral traffic
light. It's like I'm saying "Red --
go no further."
O.S. a black woman begins to sing. Jack and Sid look:
SID
(continuing; smiles with
respect)
Ah, Margaret.
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - PHOTO LAB - RUSH HOUR
MARGARET, a black woman in a paisley kaften, stands near
a photo lab across from Jack and Sid. With a box in
front of her for donations, she starts singing (SONG to
be chosen). Some rush hour commuters stop to listen.
Her VOICE is strong and soulful, she performs
uninhibitedly.
SID
You have to admit though... Like at
5:00 in Grand Central... Pretty
breathtaking, don't cha think?
Jack looks around this mad rush hour scene, taking it in
through Sid's eyes... Parry, however, keeps his gaze on
the main floor. Suddenly, he spots her:
CUT TO:
INT. GRAND CENTRAL STATION - MAIN FLOOR
Hordes of people are moving in every which way,
zigzagging across the floor... Lydia moves through the
crowd, avoiding touching anyone...
PARRY
CAMERA PANS IN SLOWLY as we hear Margaret's SONG O.S.
The closer the CAMERA gets to Parry the more her song
changes... At first a blend of two melodies that sound
distruptive, cachophonous... But as Parry smiles with
joy, HIS SONG overtakes Margaret's... It is a WALTZ.
CUT TO:
MAIN FLOOR - PARRY'S POV
The hordes of people continue their zigzagging for a beat
then:
Suddenly, they pair up and waltz around the main floor,
circling around the center information booth...
Only Lydia remains walking -- gliding through the dancers
with grace and ease...
Parry watches in a state of rapture -- moving as she
moves to keep her in eye view as long as possible.
CUT TO:
JACK
listening to Margaret's SONG, taking in the scene around
him... watching people listen to her song, while others
walk by as if they were deaf and blind...
Feeling strangely at ease, strangely apart of everyone
around him -- a group of lost souls listening to a woman
bare her soul in song. He looks to spot Parry, rises and
crosses to him...
CUT TO:
MAIN FLOOR
Parry watches as Lydia exits the main floor (the waltz
has ended) just as Jack speaks his line:
JACK
It's such a great song.
PARRY
(referring to his own
song)
It's a classic.
Jack looks in the direction of Parry's stare and sees
Lydia exit.
PARRY
(continuing)
God. Just one night with her. I'd
die happy.
Jack hears this as if a light bulb went off above his
head.
CUT TO:
INT. LYDIA'S APARTMENT - DUSK
A door opens. Lydia enters with a bag of groceries she
picked up on the way. She turns on the light to reveal
an extremely neat, albiet modest, one bedroom apartment.
She carries the grocery bag into the kitchen.
Out of the bag, she removes a Lean Cuisine, a giant
bottle of cream soda and four giant bars of Chunky
chocolate. She pops the Lean Cuisine into the oven and
walks back into the living room to an old stereo. She
turns the TURNTABLE on -- a record already set upon it.
She stands by her coffee table, as if taking position:
Suddenly, we hear ETHEL MERMAN -- as Lydia lip-syncs
every word with complete commitment -- giving a full out
performance.
ETHEL/LYDIA
Got no sunshine, got no rain
Still I think I'm a lucky dame
I got the sun in the morning
And the moon at night...
Her attempts at hand gestures and choreography are
awkward -- bunking into the coffee table, banging her
hand against a lamp -- but, we see a part of Lydia that
few (actually no one) sees. Her abandon, her joy... her
smile. From upstairs, neighbors BANG for her to keep the
music down. Lydia casually crosses to the stereo, turns
off the turntable and heads back to the kitchen -- as if
the neighbors interference were all apart of her nightly
ritual.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Anne sits alone at her formica table, smoking a
cigarette. Two plates are set. She waits for Jack. She
is hurt and pissed off. TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN play on
her stereo.
TONY ORLANDO
Knock three times... on the ceiling
if you want me... Twice on the
pipes...
The song continues as the CAMERA SLOWLY PANS up to
CLOSEUP of Anne, who is fighting with an imaginary Jack.
ANNE
Ya fuckin' bastard. I don't need
this...
(emphasizing)
... I Do Not Need This! A woman my
age... I am a person. This is kid
stuff. You come! You go! And all I
do is cook like a jerk! You're a
waste of good cutlets... I don't need
this... Find yourself another dope...
ya fuckin' bastard...
She puffs on her cigarette.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTRAL PARK - SHEEPS MEADOW - NIGHT
PARRY
What a beautiful night.
HE walks deeper into the open field. This makes JACK nervous.
JACK
Don't you think it's time to go now?
Running around here during the day is
one thing but at night we could be killed
by a wide variety of people.
PARRY
Well that's stupid. This is my park
just as much as it is theirs. You
think it's fair they keep us out
just because they make us think we'll
get killed or something?
JACK
Yes. I think that's very fair.
PARRY takes off his pants and stands there naked.
JACK
(continuing)
.....What are you doing?
PARRY
Have you ever done any cloudbusting?
You lie on your back and you
concentrate on the clouds...and you try yo
break them apart with your mind.
It's wild.
Parry lies down.
JACK
You can't do this! This is New York!
Nobody lies in naked in a field in New
York..It's...it's too Midwestern.
PARRY
Come on, try it. Ya feel the
air on your body - ya little
fella's flappin' in the breeze.
...everybody in the city is busy
with their business and no one knows we're
bare assed in the middle of it. Come on!
JACK
NO! I will not! This is nuts!
I