Something Borrowed

                         Written by

                           Dana Fox

                                              First Revision
                                              April 22, 2003


FADE IN:

CLOSE ON A WOMANíS FACE, BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG. SHEíS CRYING.

INT. KATíS BEDROOM - NEW YORK CITY - DAY

The woman is KAT ELLIS, 30. Tears stream down her face as
she sits cross-legged amid the detritus of a packing frenzy.

There is an unfortunate green bridesmaidís dress hanging on
the back of the door.

Katís pain is palpable. She buries her head in her lap.

Suddenly, the doorbell RINGS.

Kat sits bolt upright, wide eyed. She looks around in
disbelief. How did this happen? What is she doing on the
floor?

                         KAT
                    (sweetly)
               Hold on!

INT. HALLWAY

A BIKE MESSENGER stands outside Katís door. He busts a
covert ipod dance while he waits.

                         KAT (O.S.)
               Coming!

INT. KATíS FOYER

Kat wipes her face and inhales, summoning deep calm.

INT. HALLWAY

The Bike Messenger looks up as the door swings open.

Kat is a changed woman. Nothing like the girl we saw on the
floor. Youíd never know she had been crying. Or that she
even knows how.

                         KAT
               Iím so sorry. I wasnít quite ready
               for you.

Kat props the door open with her foot as she slides a plane
ticket into an envelope. She scribbles a name on the
envelope, seals it, and hands it to him.

                         BIKE MESSENGER
               Lady, you said this was a rush. I
               canít rush anything anywhere if you
               donít give it to me.

Kat looks down at the envelope, sheís still holding on to it.

                         KAT
               Itís a plane ticket.

                         BIKE MESSENGER
               So it is.

                         KAT
               For a date.
                    (beat)
               For my date. To my sisterís
               wedding. In London.
                    (beat)
               Heís never met my family.

                         BIKE MESSENGER
               I hear that noise.

Kat wills herself to surrender the envelope.

                         BIKE MESSENGER (CONTíD)
               You need to let go.

                         KAT
               Yeah.
                    (beat)
               Youíre going to have to help me.

The Bike Messenger gently tugs the envelope out of her hand.

Kat smiles.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Thank you.

The Bike Messenger looks at her with genuine concern.

INT. KATíS APARTMENT

Racing against time, Kat throws open a linen closet to reveal
three neat rows of plastic bins, all perfectly labeled. Kat
reaches into the bin marked "TRAVEL" and pulls out a prepacked
toiletry kit.

Kat pulls a box marked ďLONDONĒ out from underneath her bed.

She opens it.

Pushing aside an old private school uniform and some letters,
she pulls out a worn London A-Z, a Ziploc marked ďADAPTERS,Ē
and her passport.

Sheís about to close the box when she sees an old photo. In
it, a GORGEOUS GUY kisses Kat on the cheek. Heís holding the
camera himself -- itís blurred and goofy, but full of love.

Kat jams it back in the box and shoves it under the bed.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET

The Bike Messenger darts in and out of traffic, avoiding the
throngs of NEW YORKERS enjoying this crisp fall day.

INT. KATíS APARTMENT

Kat races through her apartment, packing, cleaning, getting
ready. Her place is small yet put together. Itís Crate and
Barrel meets Martha. But in a good way.

INT. KATíS BATHROOM

Kat, finally still, stares into the mirror as she brushes her
teeth. Thereís a strange intensity to it, like sheís
scrubbing away the last of her distress.

EXT. BROWNSTONE APARTMENT

The Bike Messenger passes a waiting Town Car as he pulls up
to a stoop. He hefts his bike, runs up the stairs, and slips
the envelope into the door of...

INT. BROWNSTONE APARTMENT

A tasteful flat. Stylish yet masculine. A MAN stoops to
pick up the envelope. We donít see his face, just his
ordered, minimalist apartment as he zips his carry-on and
walks out the door.

EXT. NEW YORK STREET

His face obscured, the man steps into the purring Town Car.

EXT. KATíS APARTMENT BUILDING

A TAXI DRIVER slams his trunk as Kat gets in. Katís
apprehensive face peers out the window as they pull away.

INT. JFK AIRPORT

A ridiculously long line snakes towards the X-Ray machines.

Latte in hand, Kat cuts right through the middle.

Irate PASSENGERS scowl at her. Kat does this every day. She
should be used to the looks by now. Sheís not. She
pointedly flashes the crowd her AIRPORT EMPLOYEE BADGE as she
sails through security.

INT. CUSTOMER SERVICE - JFK AIRPORT

Kat enters the Virgin Atlantic customer service hub. Itís as
cramped as it is busy. A FEMALE EMPLOYEE approaches with a
question. Kat puts up her hand.

                         KAT
               Iím off duty. I do not exist.
               Donít even look at me.

The lady backs off. As Kat hurries away, a HARRIED EMPLOYEE
matches her step and launches in.

                         HARRIED EMPLOYEE
               Iíve got a tour group from Taipei
               trapped in customs, a dead poodle
               in Cargo parked at T9, and a lost
               grandmother staggering around
               International asking for her mommy.
               Oh, and thereís a guy on two who
               was stuck with his in-laws for a
               week because we couldnít get him
               out of Dulles. The in-laws arenít
               speaking to him anymore and, for
               some reason, heís pissed.

Katís trying not to get sucked in.

                         KAT
               I would love to help you.
               Sincerely. But my sisterís getting
               married this weekend, I havenít
               seen my family in two years, and my
               flight leaves in fifteen minutes.

The Harried Employee looks like heís going to lose it. Kat
struggles, then caves.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               You take Taipei. Tammyís schnauzer
               just had puppies.
               Put her on the dead dog. Park reps
               with wheelchairs at every john in T8.
               If Grandma just got off a trans-con,
               sheís gotta go sometime.

Kat starts to walk away.

                         HARRIED EMPLOYEE
               What about line two?

Kat spins around and glares at him.

INT. OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

On the phone, Kat is in the middle of saying way too much.

                         KAT
                    (into phone)
               I completely understand, sir. You
               just want your in-laws to see you
               the way you see yourself. Or at
               least the way you would see
               yourself if you didnít feel so
               victimized by them.

At that moment, a CLIPBOARD manager walks by. He overhears
Katís diatribe and is incredulous.

CLIPBOARD
Hello? Calls may be monitored for
quality control?

                         KAT
               Huh?

                         CLIPBOARD
               Over-share!

Kat waves him off. Then, by rote:

                         KAT
                    (into phone)
               Mr. Rajagopal, we regret that you
               were snowed in at Dulles but
               snowstorms fall under a category
               called force majeure. Along with
               earthquakes, hurricanes, and floods.
               In short, weíre not liable.

Kat checks to make sure the Clipboard has moved on. Then,
she continues, softly but very quickly.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
                    (into phone)
               But just this once, Iím going to
               refund the full price of your
               ticket and credit you 10,000
               frequent flyer miles. Thank you
               for calling Virgin Atlantic!

INT. CABIN - PLANE

Kat sits in first class, absently scanning the safety card.

A PRETTY WOMAN across the aisle notices and smiles.

                         PRETTY WOMAN
               Your first trip?

Kat realizes sheís been reading the safety card. She laughs
and puts it back in the seat pocket. As she often does, Kat
feels compelled to explain.

                         KAT
               Hardly. My family moved to England
               when I was fourteen. My stepdadís
               a professor at University College,
               London.
                    (beat)
               Iím going back for my sisterís
               wedding...and the best manís my ex.
               In case I chicken out, I want to
               know where all the exits are.

Kat eyes the front door, nervously.

                         PRETTY WOMAN
               I donít believe in marriage. I
               believe in hot sex. Of course,
               that draws men to me like flies to
               shit.

Kat doesnít know what to say, but then a HOT GUY walks up the
aisle. Kat looks at the empty seat next to her and smiles at
him. He returns the smile but sits next to the Pretty Woman.

                         HOT GUY
               Hello, my sweet darling.

He gives the Pretty Woman a ďmadly in loveĒ kiss. The Pretty
Woman rolls her eyes to Kat -- what did I tell you?

INT. GALLEY - PLANE

Kat is hiding out. She tries to calm her nerves as a MALE
FLIGHT ATTENDANT pours her a cup of water.

                         KAT
               Iím not a knuckler. I fly all the
               time. In fact, I transferred from
               Heathrow two years ago and now I
               run Bags and Nags here at Kennedy,
               so things are going really well for
               me. The reason I canít feel my
               legs is that any minute, my date is
               going to walk in that door. And I
               need him to look really, really
               good today.

                         MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT
                    (not listening)
               I wish I couldnít feel my legs.

Kat peeks around the corner and spots the back of the
mysterious MAN from the opening as he loads the overhead bin
above Katís seat. Kat gasps, ducking back.

                         KAT
               Oh, no. Heís here.

The Male Flight Attendant looks out at the Man, who leans
against Katís seat as he chats with a FEMALE FLIGHT
ATTENDANT. Katís in a panic.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               What do you think? Does he look
               hot, and is it the kinda hot
               thatíll translate overseas?

                         MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT
               I resent your stereotyping of a man
               in my profession but...

He checks out the guy again.

                         MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANT (CONTíD)
               ...darling, heíd be hot on Mars.
               Iíd like to unwrap him like a
               Harrodís gift basket.

Kat smiles, relieved.

INT. CABIN - PLANE

The mystery man is NICK MERCER, 32, commanding and classy,
yet somehow totally genuine. He carries his í40s-crooner
good looks like he has no idea that men just arenít made that
way anymore.

Nick takes two glasses of champagne from the blushing Female
Flight Attendant.

                         NICK
               Thank you, Lisa.

He turns around to take his seat and finds Kat standing
there, awkwardly.

                         KAT
               Hi. Hey.

                         NICK
               Kat.

Nick kisses Kat warmly on the cheek and hands her a glass of
champagne. Nickís totally at ease. This may as well be a
candle-lit bar.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Letís sit.

Kat awkwardly negotiates her drink as they take their seats.

                         KAT
               Iím glad you found it okay. The
               airport. The plane, I mean.

Nick notices Katís anxiety, tries to settle her.

                         NICK
               I really am sorry I couldnít leave
               earlier. I know you would have
               loved a few hours to settle in
               before the party.

Kat melts a little. Thatís just what she was thinking.

                         KAT
               Work must be crazy right now.

Nick gives Kat a quizzical look. Thereís something going on
here. Though itís not clear what. Kat fills the space.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Iíve gotta warn you, you know those
               families where everyoneís out of
               their minds but at the end of the
               day, theyíre family, so you love
               them?
                    (off his nod)
               Mineís not like that.

The Flight Attendant appears with a small tray. Kat notices
the womanís cheeks flush as she fumbles Nickís drink.

Nick smiles warmly, but deftly ends the moment. Heís like a
famous person who has learned to manage his adoring fans with
casual grace.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               I love my dad. But since heís my
               stepdad, heís technically not
               family. Heís more like a hostage.

Kat tries to find her seat belt. Itís under Nick.

She reaches beneath him, tentatively, then pulls back,
embarrassed.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               My seat belt, itís....

Nick pulls out the seat belt and hands it to her. Kat
buckles up, checks that itís snug, then checks again.

They sit in silence as the plane starts barreling down the
runway.

As they pick up speed, Nick takes Katís hand. She finds
comfort in his touch, her need to talk abates momentarily.

She is safe.

Kat closes her eyes as the plane levels off, then peeks over
at Nick, whoís calmly staring out the window. She closes her
eyes again, this time for good.

EXT. LONDON - ESTABLISHING - DAY

INT. BAGGAGE CLAIM - HEATHROW

Nick and Kat wait at the baggage claim. She looks at his
tie, then down at her dress. They are the exact same color.

                         KAT
                    (concerned)
               Please tell me youíre not wearing
               that tonight.

Her dress is indeed the exact same color as Nickís tie.

                         KAT
               Itís no big deal. Really. It just
               looks like a tailor cut off a yard
               of my dress and made your tie out
               of it.

Nick doesnít get it. He heaves one of Katís suitcases onto a
trolley full of matching suitcases.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Donít get me wrong, matchingís
               fine. Itís ďmatchy matchyĒ youíve
               got to watch out for.
                    (re: outfits)
               This is matchy-matchy.

Nick, amused, tugs the last of the bags off the carousel and
adds it to a pile of what appears to be an entire floor model
of matching luggage.

                         NICK
               You think we look like weíre trying
               too hard.

                         KAT
               Exactly. I want us to look like we
               fit, but not like weíre trying too
               hard to look like we fit.
                    (beat)
               Itís welcome cocktails, not prom.
               With this level of matchy-matchy, we
               should be drinking peach schnapps
               under a bleacher somewhere.

Nick laughs at Kat. Then fixes her with an intense stare.

                         NICK
               Iíll teach you a trick. If you
               look people in the eye, theyíll
               never even notice what you have on.

Kat, overwhelmed by his charisma, is mesmerized.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               What color are my shoes?

                         KAT
                    (dreamily)
               You have feet?

Nick smiles sweetly and touches her cheek.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - OUTSIDE LONDON - DAY

The Heathrow Express thunders towards London.

INT. HEATHROW EXPRESS - [MOVING] - DAY

Nick stands by the W.C., flipping through Cosmo. He can do
that without looking gay. He talks to Kat through the door.

                         NICK
               I understand how important this is
               to you, but youíre a beautiful
               woman and youíve got everything in
               the world going for you. I
               couldnít care less what you have
               on.

Kat comes out modeling a black strapless.

                         KAT
               Donít patronize me.
               Theyíve clearly been at this a while.

                         NICK
               Youíre funny.

                         KAT
               Yeah, but I feel like crap. And if
               you feel like crap, itís way better
               to look hot while youíre doing it.

He checks her out.

                         NICK
               Mission accomplished.

                         KAT
               Really?
                    (beat)
               Donít get too attached.

She bolts back to the bathroom, nearly knocking over a ZITTY
TEENAGER whoís waiting his turn.

                         ZITTY TEENAGER
               I liked the red one better.

                         NICK
               Iíll let her know.

INT. W.C. - HEATHROW EXPRESS

Kat, alone in the W.C., meticulously rearranges a layer of
paper towel on the floor so she can step out of her shoes.

She expertly slides off the first dress while simultaneously
pulling another one on -- not an inch of skin shows.

She struggles as the train rocks back and forth.

                         NICK (O.S.)
                    (through the door)
               I bet youíre doing that girl thing,
               where you get undressed without
               showing any skin.

Kat looks around suspiciously.

                         KAT
               No, Iím not.
               Howíd he know?

INT. HEATHROW EXPRESS - CONTINUOUS

Kat emerges from the bathroom wearing the new dress. Nick
checks it out.

                         NICK
               Mmm.

                         KAT
               Mmm, nice dress? Or mmm--
                    (British accent)
               Gorgeous, I was insane to let you
               go!

                         NICK
               Both.

Kat looks to the Zitty Teenager for his opinion.

                         ZITTY TEENAGER
               Iíd do you.
                    (to Nick)
               I mean, if it was all right with
               you.

Kat gives the passenger an appreciative smile, then flies
back into the bathroom. Nick, amused by her antics, steps
closer to the door.

                         NICK
               You know, they say you can tell
               everything you need to know about a
               person from the way they act when
               theyíre naked.

                         KAT
                    (popping her head out)
               I donít do naked. My sister? She
               does naked.

Kat ducks back into the bathroom.

MUSIC UP. NAKED MONTAGE:

INT. W.C. - HEATHROW EXPRESS

Kat pulls her dress over her head.

MATCH CUT TO:

ANOTHER WOMAN, PULLING OFF HER DRESS.

INT. AMYíS BATHROOM

The woman is Katís sister, AMY ELLIS, 28. She graces a bath
mat in all her infinite nakedness. Totally nude, she gently
places her veil on her head and begins the ablutions of a
Greek goddess. A dot of bath oil, a pure white towel, one
squirt self-tanner, one squirt lotion.

Finally, she pulls out a bottle of olive oil, pours two drops
into her hands and rubs them together.

Then she stares in the mirror, regarding herself with a look
so blank it could be anything from admiration to revulsion.

Just then, a KNOCK.

The groom, EDWARD FLETCHER-WOOTEN, 31, enters, wearing a
robe. He flashes Amy as he does a silly dance then smothers
her inside his robe. Amy giggles and tries to break free.

At first sheís laughing, but then she turns on a dime and
shoves him off more forcefully than she meant to.

She kisses him on the lips, trying to cover, and shoos him
out the door.

INT. BUNNYíS DRESSING ROOM

The mother of the bride, BUNNY ELLIS, 60, drops her robe on
the floor. She is about to put on a bra when she catches her
reflection in a full-length mirror on the door.

She is momentarily surprised by what she sees. She turns and
faces her image. This is not the woman she is in her head.

This is an old woman with uncooperative skin. With one swift
movement, she slams the door.

INT. ELLIS HOUSE - ST. JOHNíS WOOD

The father of the bride, VICTOR ELLIS, 65, wearing only a
pair of socks, walks downstairs. He's completely comfortable
in his nakedness and trots around as if he's fully clothed.

He sings to himself. The words of the song are
incomprehensible but he sings with an unrestrained Sinatra
sass.

Victor enters the kitchen, opens the fridge and starts
scrounging. Inside the fridge door, Victor bends over and
his bare butt sticks out. As he closes the fridge door, we
cut to...

A SHOWER DOOR SLIDING OPEN.

INT. JEFFREYíS FLAT

Inside, the best man, JEFFREY JOHNSON, 31, the guy from the
snapshot under Katís bed, glistens with a post-shower flush.

Jeffrey towels off with a miniscule washcloth.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Jeffrey notices an 18-year-old
NYMPHETTE watching him through her kitchen window. He
crosses to the window but instead of closing the blinds, he
opens them wider and jumps up onto a pull-up bar.

The Nymphette blushes and looks away. As he starts pumping
and his manhood rises dangerously close to frame, we...

                                                      CUT TO:

EXT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - ESTABLISHING - DAY

Upscale cars deliver upscale people to this stately hotel in
Central London.

INT. LOBBY - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Nick pays the BELLHOP, who trolleys away their bags. He
turns to find Kat. Sheís wearing the red dress. The Zitty
Teenager was right. Itís really hot.

Kat starts doing a yoga breath of fire, trying to relax.

Nick takes Katís hand and pulls her close.

                         NICK
               You okay, hon?

Kat nods, clearly not okay. Nick smooths a piece of hair
behind her ear. There is a practiced intimacy to the way he
touches her and Kat is almost settled by it.

                         KAT
               Iím not sure I can do this.

Nick moves towards Kat as if heís going to kiss her, but then
he whispers in her ear.

                         NICK
               Youíre never going to be sure of
               anything, but we still have to go
               inside.

Just then, Katís mother appears.

                         BUNNY
                    (singing)
               ďBaby love, my baby love.Ē

A few BRITS dart looks at this very American display.

                         KAT
               Please, Mom. This is not the time
               to be yourself.

Bunny folds Kat and Nick into a drunken embrace. Bunny gives
Nick the once-over.

                         BUNNY
                    (to Nick)
               And who might this be?

Katís mortified but Nick quickly saves her.

                         NICK
               Iím the new guy.
                    (kissing Bunny)
               Itís great to meet you.

Bunny throws Kat an unsubtle, ďIím impressedĒ look and leads
them into the party.

INT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Bunny, Kat and Nick emerge into a sea of Burberry, floppy
hair, and unspoken judgments. Bunny turns to Nick and Kat,
all business.

                         BUNNY
               This is a marathon, not a sprint.
               After welcome cocktails, youíve got
               the hen party. Tomorrow, thereís a
               picnic and the rehearsal dinner and
               since youíve conveniently left no
               margin for jet lag--
                    (squeezing Katís cheek)
               I need you to hydrate, baby.

Nick and Kat are stunned. Bunny hops away as Victor
approaches. Kat throws her arms around her stepfather.

                         KAT
               Dad!

                         VICTOR
               Hi, kiddo.

                         KAT
               Meet Nick.

                         NICK
               Sir.

They shake hands. Just then, Katís sister, Amy, dressed to
the nines, strikes a pose in the doorway.

                         AMY
               Iím getting MARRIED!

As Kat and Amy squeal loudly and hug, Victor leans into Nick.

                         VICTOR
               I find a good, strong drink helps.

Nick smiles, looks at Victorís glass.

                         NICK
               Can I get you a refill, sir?

Victor hands Nick the glass.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
                    (sniffing the glass)
               Iím guessing MacCallum, 18 years.
                    (beat)
               Neat, with a water-back.

                         VICTOR
               Is there any other way to take it?

Nick heads toward the bar and Victor turns to Kat.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               Whereíd you find this guy?

Kat smiles, appreciatively.

                         KAT
               The Yellow Pages.

Victor laughs. Across the room, Bunny has found a
microphone. She taps a knife on the side of a glass to get
everyoneís attention.

                         BUNNY
               Welcome, friends and family!

Then she taps the mic, which squeals.

ON KAT, panic stricken.

                         KAT
               Sweet Jesus, who gave that woman an
               amp?

ON BUNNY, drunk with happiness.

                         BUNNY
               Victor and I would especially like
               to thank our out-of-town guests for
               coming to celebrate with us as we
               welcome Edward and the Fletcher-
               Wootens into our family.

THE CAMERA IDís LYDIA and GEORGE FLETCHER-WOOTEN, 60ís.

George shifts uncomfortably. Lydia waves as though
addressing a room full of her subjects.

ON JEFFREY, searching the crowd for someone. His eyes land
on Kat. She doesnít see him. He stares at her meaningfully.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Itís funny. We always thought weíd
               marry off Kat first. We came close
               once, but that crashed and burned.

Nervous laughter from the crowd. Kat smiles through the
pain. Jeffrey winces sympathetically. His mind working, he
spots a piano nearby.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Still, we had reason to hope. She
               was always one of the more ďactiveĒ
               girls at the American school, and
               thatís saying a lot.

Suddenly, a loud, lovely arpeggio from the piano. Bunny
looks over, surprised. Then she smiles.

ANGLE ON JEFFREY, sitting at the piano, playing.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Okay, okay. I get the hint!
               Anyway, imagine our surprise when
               Ed moved in next door and fell in
               love with...the girl next door.
               Our Amy. Lucky for us, he had no
               idea it was an unforgiveable
               clichť.
                    (raising her glass)
               A toast to the bride and groom to be.
               Congratulations, babies!

Everyone claps as Jeffrey plays a final flourish.

INT. NEAR W.C. - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - LATER

Kat is sneaking towards the ladies room when Jeffrey comes
out of the menís room. Their eyes meet. Both stop dead.

Neither can find words or even a smile. Kat pretends that
seeing him isnít a gut-punch, forces a silly grin.

                         KAT
               Thanks for, you know, with the
               piano.... It was really.... Hm.
                    (beat)
               I have to pee.

Kat slithers past Jeffrey into the W.C.

INT. W.C. - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Kat wills her breath back. She turns on the water as if she
were washing her hands. Then she confronts herself in the
mirror and applies a coat of lipstick like sheís putting on a
suit of armor.

INT. NEAR W.C. - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Jeffrey, a dashing Brit, is not a man who likes to wait, but
wait he has. Kat emerges from the W.C. as if she hadnít seen
him before.

                         KAT
               Why, Jeffrey. Hello.

                         JEFFREY
               Hello, Katmandu.

As Jeffrey kisses her on the cheek, Katís eyes close and she
takes in his smell. Itís like coming home. She doesnít want
it to, but something inside her stirs.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               You look well, Gorgeous.

All he has to do is look her in the eyes and her big plans
fly out the window. Kat blushes.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               Seeing you again....

                         KAT
               Yeah?

Just then, TJ, 30, Katís cousin, appears, wrapping Kat in a
hug. TJís deb-of-the-year perkiness is undercut by her
Longshoremanís tongue.

                         TJ
               Kat Ellis! We live two hundred
               miles away from each other but I
               have to fly all the way to London
               to see you. You havenít visited me
               once in D.C. Where the hell have
               you been? I have gynecologists
               that call more often.

                         KAT
               You have more than one gynecologist?

                         TJ
               Sure. Youíve got to play them
               against each other. Otherwise they
               think youíre easy.

TJ turns on Jeffrey like she just realized he was there.

                         TJ (CONTíD)
               Hey, asshole, since you dumped my
               cousin brutally and without cause,
               you wonít mind if I steal her away?

I have all kinds of interesting

things to tell her.

TJ darts Jeffrey a dirty look and drags Kat away.

INT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - CONTINUOUS

Arms locked, Kat and TJ rejoin the party.

                         KAT
               You didnít have to do that.

                         TJ
               I wasnít saving you from him. I
               was saving you from yourself.

Youíre too fucking nice.

                         KAT
               Donít worry. Iím so over him.
                    (beat)
               By the way, do you know if heís
               seeing anyone?

They spot Nick talking to Bunny, surrounded by OCTOGENARIANS.

He doesnít look the least bit lost. In fact, heís charming
the Dockers off them.

                         TJ
               Why waste ten more seconds on the
               slimy limey when Mr. Tie-Me-Up-Tie-Me-

Down is waiting for you at the bar?

ANGLE ON NICK, listening patiently as Bunny pours her heart
out.

                         BUNNY
               After Katís father died and I
               married Victor, I was so desperate
               for my little girl to love him. It
               never occurred to me that she might
               love him more.

ANGLE ON KAT AND TJ, still staring at Nick.

                         TJ
               Whatís he do anyway?

                         KAT
               Therapist.

Just then, Nick looks up and gives Kat an intimate, ďget over
hereĒ look. TJ sighs audibly.

                         TJ
               I think I just came.

INT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - LATER

Nick stands with Kat at the bar. The BARTENDER hands Kat a
drink.

                         AMY (O.S.)
               Can I have that?

Kat looks over and sees Amy. She puts her drink on the bar,
but Amy canít quite reach it from her stool. Amy makes an
exaggerated reaching gesture and whimpers.

Nick takes note as Kat slides the drink closer. Amy sips it
through the straw without picking it up.

                         AMY
               You know what I love about all
               this?

                         KAT
               Thereís finally a reason for the
               whole world to revolve around you?

                         AMY
               Exactly! Todayís my day. Tomorrow
               will be my day. And the day after
               that? My day.

As Amy gloats, Ed dances over. Heís a refreshingly
unaffected upper-class Brit.

                         ED
               Howís the future Mrs.?

Amy kisses him on the lips.

                         AMY
               Perfect. All ginny.

                         KAT
               Except itís Scotch.

                         AMY
                    (ignoring Kat)
               But Iím not taking your name,
               buster. Iím a feminist!
                    (shaking her drink)
               I need icey! Mr. husband-man, get
               me more icey!

                         ED
               All right, then kiss me.
                    (she kisses him)
               God, Iím a lucky sod.

Ed lifts Amy off the stool and spins her around. He does an
awkward dance move and steps on her toe.

                         AMY
               See what happens when you put off
               dance lessons til two days before
               the wedding?

Ed looks to Nick for support.

                         ED
               Whoís ever heard of dance lessons
               for a wedding, honestly?

                         NICK
               Um, just about everyone.

                         ED
               You are taking the piss?

Ed looks to Kat, who shakes her head.

                         NICK
               Weíll go with you guys tomorrow. I
               suck too. Itíll be fun.

Amy kisses Nickís cheek.

                         AMY
               I donít even know you, hunky-dunky,
               and I love you already.

Kat throws Amy a dark look.

                         ED
                    (to no one)
               Dance lessons. Right.

EXT. BALCONY - LANESBOROUGH HOTEL

Escaping, Nick steps outside and bumps into Jeffrey, who
teeters on the railing.

                         NICK
               Hey.

                         JEFFREY
               Oh, hello.

Jeffrey looks upset. Nick tries to break the ice.

                         NICK
               A wedding is a sacrament...a joyous
               celebration of love and commitment.

In Utopia. In the real world...

itís an excuse to drink excessively
and say things you shouldnít say.

                         JEFFREY
               Ah, a philosopher.

                         NICK
               Shrink, actually.

                         JEFFREY
               Crikey.

                         NICK
               What?

                         JEFFREY
               Nothing, nothing.

                         NICK
               No, tell me.

                         JEFFREY
               You Yanks and your therapy. Itís
               great.
                    (beat)
               Itís all a bit too touchy-feely for
               me.

A beat as Jeffrey watches the party. He sees Kat and Amy at
the bar and slowly turns to Nick. With difficulty, he begins
to unburden himself to his new therapist.

                         JEFFREY
               Itís just, thereís this girl I care
               for -- God, I suppose I could even
               say I love her -- and the bugger
               is, of course, sheís here with
               someone else. Bollocks!

Nick hides his surprise as Jeffrey raises his glass in a
silent toast to his misery. Nick is just clinking glasses
with him when Kat appears and slips her arm in his.

                         KAT
               Here you are.

Jeffrey is horrified. Stares at Nick, aghast.

                         JEFFREY
               Hey, Kat.

                         KAT
               Hey, yourself.
                    (to Nick)
               I see youíve met my ex.

They all stand there, awkwardly.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Did I interrupt something?

Jeffrey looks desperately at Nick. Nick hesitates, then
covers.

                         NICK
               I was just telling Jeffrey how we
               met.

Kat gives Nick a confused look. Nick smiles warmly--

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               The Knicks game? We both wanted
               the last hot dog?

                         KAT
               Oh, yeah.
                    (pointedly, to Jeffrey)
               So we split it. You know, as in
               ďshare.Ē People do that.

                         JEFFREY
               You hate sports.

Kat squeezes Nickís arm, adoringly.

                         KAT
               Not when Nick explains them.

Jeffreyís desperate to get out of there.

                         JEFFREY
                    (to Nick)
               Right. I should be going. Good to
               meet you. Perhaps Iíll see you at
               the stag party. My place.
                    (to Kat)
               You know the address.

Kat watches him rejoin the party.

                         KAT
               Well, he looks miserable. What
               were you talking about?

                         NICK
               Love.

Kat and Nick walk back into the party.

INT. LANESBOROUGH HOTEL - CONTINUOUS

They walk arm and arm. After the confrontation with Jeffrey,
Katís excitement is almost manic.

                         KAT
               Jeffrey knows love like he knows
               macramť.

                         NICK
               He was pretty drunk, but I think
               heís still crazy about you.

                         KAT
               Of course he is. Iím here with my
               new man.
                    (beat)
               I love it! Your magicís already
               working. Let the suffering begin.

Nick stops Kat and faces her. He is quiet but intense.

                         NICK
               The only one suffering here is you.
               You need to stop worrying about
               everyone else. You think you can
               do that?

Kat takes a deep, calming breath.

                         KAT
               No.

She turns and surveys the room, trying to calm down. But
then slowly her face begins to tense.

                         KAT
               What did he say exactly? I mean,
               you donít think he wants me back?

                         NICK
               I donít know.

                         KAT
               What does your gut say?

                         NICK
               Youíre too good for him.

EXT. ST. JOHNíS WOOD - LATER

Nick drives slowly down St. Johnís Woodís tree-lined main
street. Nick looks out the window as they pass a corner
market, a flower shop, pubs, restaurants.

EXT. ELLIS HOUSE - ST. JOHNíS WOOD

A charming period house in a row of identical houses. Youíd
never know where the Americans lived but for a conspicuous
boat trailer parked in the driveway.

Victor and Bunny try to help Nick unload Katís many bags from
the taxi. He wonít let them. As Nick lugs the bags up the
driveway, he reads the name, ďJACK SHIP,Ē off the back of the
dilapidated cabin cruiser.

INT. HALLWAY - ELLIS HOUSE

Nick struggles with Katís many bags as Katís parents escort
them upstairs. Kat stops by her bedroom door, doesnít go in.

                         KAT
               Well, here we are.

They stand there, awkwardly sandwiched into the small space.

                         NICK
                    (to Bunny and Victor)
               Thanks again for having me.

                         BUNNY
               Donít be silly. Itís wonderful to
               finally meet you. Although,
               technically, I had no idea you
               existed because when my daughter
               turned twelve, she stopped talking
               to me, except when she needed
               money. So let me rephrase that.

It was nice to discover you existed
and then finally meet you all at
once. I love surprises.

                         VICTOR
               Okay, Bun. Thatís enough.

Kat gives them a look, but doesnít open her bedroom door.

                         KAT
               Whereís Nick sleeping?

                         BUNNY
               Why, with you.

                         KAT
                    (not listening)
               My mother has a rule about men and
               women sleeping in the same room
               without a ring in the picture. She
               thinks itís--

Kat puts her fingers up to do air quotes, then suddenly
realizes what her mother just said.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Huh?

                         BUNNY
                    (twinkling at Nick)
               Iím not as square as my daughter
               thinks.

As Katís parents walk away, Bunny flirtatiously sidles up to
Victor and pulls him into their bedroom.

                         KAT
               She must have drowned her rules in
               the Chardonnay.

With that, Kat closes the door.

INT. KATíS ROOM

The door CLICKS shut and the happy couple separates
instantly. Kat to one side of the room, Nick to the other.

Katís childhood bedroom has an aggressively floral decor.

                         KAT
               Sorry about the creepy room. I
               went through a painfully earnest
               Laura-Ashley phase.

Kat takes a brown envelope out of her purse, opens it, and
removes A STACK OF HUNDREDS.

She hands the pile of money to Nick.

                         KAT
               Count it. Six thousand even.

Nick doesnít look at the money, just tucks it into his bag.

                         NICK
               I trust you.

Kat almost lets it go, but then...

                         KAT
               No, count it, anyway.

                         NICK
               Why?

                         KAT
               Iím compulsive and weird?

Nick humors her. Pulls out the stack of bills and counts it.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Six thousand, right?

                         NICK
               On the nose.
                    (beat)
               I tell you what, because youíre so
               cute, Iíll take care of our
               incidentals.

                         KAT
               How does it feel to get that much
               money just for being you?

                         NICK
                    (wryly)
               Great, with the occasional stabs of
               shame. Now, listen, this covers
               the weekend, but as we discussed,
               if you want to be intimate, we talk
               money before anything happens.

                         KAT
               That wonít be an issue, believe me.
               I find the idea of sex for money
               morally repugnant.
                    (realizing)
               No offense.

                         NICK
               Itís okay. Hell, Iíve never paid
               for it. But please donít feel like
               you have to explain yourself to me.

Kat walks over to an old dollhouse. Its rooms have been
gutted, their mini furnishings replaced with a teenagerís
cassette-tape collection.

Kat pulls out Guns and Rosesí ďAppetite for DestructionĒ and
opens it. Thereís no tape inside, just some nicotine
patches. Nick watches as she opens one up and slaps it on.

                         NICK
               You quitting?

                         KAT
               Iím desperate to start but I donít
               have an addictive personality.
               Except for approval. That, I canít
               get enough of.

Nick notices an Ď80s poster of two guys with guitars, all big
hair and laser light shows.

                         NICK
               Who are they?

                         KAT
               Graham Russell and Russell
               Hitchcock.

Nick thinks about those names for a second, then his face
twists.

                         NICK
               Air Supply?

Embarrassed, Kat hastily rips down the poster and stuffs it
in the closet.

                         KAT
               My parents had a German exchange
               student a few years back.... He
               must have left it here.

Nick hides a smile as Kat ducks into the bathroom.

INT. KATíS BATHROOM

Kat has left the door open a crack as she gets ready for a
shower. Unbeknownst to her, Nick watches from the bed,
enjoying the ritual.

                         KAT
                    (quietly)
               Everyone knows their greatest hits
               but some of their lesser-known
               ballads are surprisingly poignant.

Inexplicably, Kat stands on her tiptoes as she looks into the
mirror. Itís a little thing, maybe the tiles are cold, but
it gives her an innocence that makes Nick smile.

                         KAT
               What?

                         NICK
               Itís cute.

                         KAT
               What is?

                         NICK
               You stand on your tiptoes.

                         KAT
               I do?

Kat looks down, she never noticed before.

                         NICK
               Is it an old habit from ballet
               class or a childhood spent walking
               on eggshells?

She throws him a glance, impressed with the sharpness of his
mind.

                         KAT
               I never took ballet.

She smiles and kicks the door closed with her foot.

INT. KATíS ROOM - LATER

Nick hangs up his tux. Itís definitely not a rental. Kat
comes out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.

                         KAT
               Have you ever done anything like
               this before?

                         NICK
               A weekend?

                         KAT
               A wedding.

Nick thinks about that. Kat wonders whatís taking him so
long.

                         NICK
               No. Though strangely, Iíve done
               quite a few funerals.

Kat makes a face.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Not the way youíre thinking. The
               women wanted me there for support.
               You can understand that.

                         KAT
               I think thatís disgusting.

Kat immediately backpedals.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Not you. Youíre not disgusting.
               Youíre lovely. Just the idea that
               theyíd bring an escort. I mean, a
               stranger who, um, didnít...who
               never.... I mean, someoneís dead.

                         NICK
               Thatís right. Imagine facing it
               alone.

Kat blanches.

                         KAT
               Sorry. Iím a little nervous. I
               never thought something like this
               would happen to me.

                         NICK
               This happened to you?

                         KAT
               Well, happen, in the sense that I
               picked up the phone, tracked you
               down, flew you here and gave you
               six grand out of my 401K.

Nick laughs at her. Kat pulls something out of her purse.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Can I ask you something?

Nick sees what sheís unfolding. Itís a crinkled New Yorker
article. The artsy photo shows the FACE OF A MAN, blurred
against a neon cityscape. The title: ďDiscretion Assured:
Diary of a Male Escort.Ē

                         NICK
               How did you know that was me?

                         KAT
               I have a friend at the magazine.

                         NICK
                    (sharply)
               Your ďfriendĒ guaranteed my
               anonymity.

                         KAT
               If it makes you feel any better, to
               get your number, I had to cough up
               two round-trip tickets to Amsterdam
               and a case of mini-Baileys.

Nick shakes his head at her and pulls off his shirt. Kat
instinctively looks away.

                         NICK
               You can look. Itís part of the
               package.

Kat canít tell if heís joking. She sneaks a look as Nick
disappears into the shower. Wow. Kat looks down at the
papers in her hand. She moves towards the bathroom but at
the last minute, shies away.

                         NICK (O.S.)
               Would you grab my shampoo?

                         KAT
               Shampoo, got it!

Kat grabs the shampoo and rushes into the bathroom.

INT. KATíS BATHROOM

Without looking in the shower, Kat hands him the shampoo and
hurries out, way too quickly. Nick peeks out of the shower
curtain. Sheís gone. He shakes his head and closes the
curtain. Suddenly, Kat reappears. She stands by the door.

                         KAT
               The part where you were a sexual
               surrogate and then started to, um,
               freelance. Is that really how it
               happened?

Kat pretends to straighten things up as she moves closer to
the shower.

                         NICK
               The real story is that my mother
               was a hippie. And a stripper. She
               was insanely inappropriate with me.
               She used to wash her lingerie in my
               bathwater. While I was still in
               the bath.

                         KAT
               Oh, no.

                         NICK
               Yeah. As an adult, I needed to find
               some way to experience intimacy and
               sex, but with rules that couldnít be
               violated.

Katís totally engrossed now. She closes the toilet lid and
sits down.

                         KAT
               Wow.

Nick pokes his head out.

                         NICK
               Yeah.

Nick sees that Katís heartbroken for him, feels bad.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Iím just screwing with you.

Kat throws a towel at him.

                         KAT
               You shit!

                         NICK
               I have a different story for every
               woman who asks. I look at her and
               figure out what she needs to hear
               to feel okay about being with me.

                         KAT
               And you thought Iíd respond to the
               hippie stripper with no boundaries?

                         NICK
               Admit it. You were disturbed, but
               ultimately moved.

Kat gives him a dirty look, then examines the article again.

                         KAT
               This part here. You say, and I
               quote. ďEach woman has the exact
               love life she wants.Ē
                    (beat)
               That seems like a pretty broad
               generalization.

Nick steps out of the shower. Kat, her eyes at the level of
his manhood, covers her subtle jaw-drop. Nick wraps a towel
around his waist as Kat tries to pull it together. She looks
down at the article, tapping it indignantly--

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               So...what was I...oh, yeah. Do you
               honestly think that I want to be
               single and miserable? That I want
               to be obsessed with some asshole
               who led me on for years then -- out
               of the blue -- shattered my heart.

                         NICK
               First of all, itís never out of the
               blue. And second of all--

Nick levels his gaze at her.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Yes.

                         KAT
               What?!

                         NICK
               When youíre ready to let go, to be
               unsingle and unmiserable, you will.
               Until then....

Nick shrugs and walks out of the room.

INT. STAIRWELL - ELLIS HOUSE - LATER

Nick and Kat walk downstairs, ready for a night out. Katís
wearing an over-the-top sexy golf outfit -- pleated mini
skirt, tight white oxford, plaid vest. On the bottom step,
Kat stops short.

                         KAT
                    (quietly)
               Is it always women?

Nick looks at her like sheís crazy.

                         NICK
               Are you asking me if Iím gay for
               pay?

                         KAT
               I guess so.

                         NICK
               What do you think?

Nick confronts her. She takes him in.

                         KAT
               Got it.

INT. SITTING ROOM - ELLIS HOUSE

Victor reads a book as Bunny scratches hieroglyphics on a
white board featuring an elaborate chart of information. Kat
and Nick enter, see the chart.

                         KAT
                    (to Nick)
               Momís refining her strategy for DDay.

                         BUNNY
               Iím sure General Eisenhower never
               had to master the finer points of
               the seating chart and centerpieces.
                    (pointing proudly)
               Oh, and tomorrow afternoon you are
               carpooling to the country with the
               Fletcher-Wootens.

                         KAT
               Sir, yes, sir!

She turns on her heel like a soldier, walks to Victor, and
holds out her hand,

                         BUNNY
               Make sure you show Nick Regents
               Park.
                    (winking)
               Itís romantic at night.

Victor doesnít look up, just pulls the car keys out of his
pocket and tosses them past Kat to Nick.

                         VICTOR
               Better him on the wrong side of the
               road than you behind the wheel.

Kat huffs grumpily and they head out.

EXT. ELLIS HOUSE - NIGHT

Kat and Nick walk toward the car.

                         KAT
               So, um. What about testing?

Nick opens Katís door for her.

                         NICK
               Thereís a guy on 81st and Madison.
               You get your results in 24 hours.
                    (beat)
               Do you make your lovers get tested
               before you sleep with them?

                         KAT
               My sixth-grade science project was
               entitled, ďLove Hurts: The
               Heartbreak of Human Papillomavirus.Ē
               Trust me, Iím careful.

Kat gets in the car and Nick shuts her door.

INT./EXT. CAR - LATER

Nick drives while Kat navigates. They crawl down a small
street, which bustles with activity. PATRONS of Londonís
many pubs spill out onto the pavement.

                         NICK
               I love that youíre asking
               questions, but do you really want
               to get into all of this?

                         KAT
               This is awkward for me.
                    (beat)
               Talking about it makes me feel
               better.

Nick looks over at Kat, who gets quiet. She picks at nothing
on her skirt. The TICK TICK TICK of the indicator fills the
silence as Nick changes lanes.

                         NICK
               Hey.

Kat looks at him.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Donít stop asking questions, okay?

                         KAT
               Okay.

Kat smiles, but stays quiet. Then--

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Do you pay taxes?

EXT. QUIET SIDE-STREET - CONTINUOUS

Nick holds the door open for Kat as she gets out.

                         NICK
                    (with a laugh)
               I swear. I donít have a signature
               move.

                         KAT
               Oh, come on. Youíre like the Yoda
               of escorts.

                         KAT(cont'd)
               Getting you on the phone was harder
               than getting into college.

Nick turns off the car, gets out, walks around, and opens the
door for Kat. She gets out and stands by the door.

                         NICK
               I donít have gimmicks or play
               games. Itís way more...

Nick rubs two fingers together, he canít think of the word.

                         KAT
               Subtle?

                         NICK
               I disappear. Itís not about me.

Itís about you.

Nick is standing very, very close to Kat now. She didnít
even see him move but there he is.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Itís hard to explain.

                         KAT
               Show me.

Nick shakes his head.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Come on.

                         NICK
               Iíve got this bad taste in my
               mouth. What is it? I think itís
               the words: ďmorally repugnant.Ē

Kat tugs urgently on his waist.

                         KAT
               Show me.

Nick doesnít say anything for a moment. Then he pushes her
up against the car. Itís a gentle movement, but firm. Kat
breathes in sharply from the power of it.

                         NICK
               Close your eyes.

Katís hesitant. She looks around the empty parking lot but
Nick takes her cheek and guides her eyes to his.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Close your eyes.

She does. Nick leans in close and begins whispering into her
ear with a hypnotic intensity.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Iím not going to kiss you. You can
               relax. Youíre safe.

Nick takes Katís head in his hands and moves his lips across
the contours of her face. Itís incredibly intimate. His
mouth hovers over hers but their lips donít touch. They
breathe each other in.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Iím not going to kiss you. Trust
               me. All you have to do is listen
               to my voice.

Katís body starts to relax. Slowly, she slumps back against
the car.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Heís going to be so sorry he let
               you go.

He moves his lips across her eyelids.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Heíll look at you with your sexy
               dress and your perfect date but it
               wonít matter because itís not about
               him. Itís about you.

As Nick slowly talks, he moves his lips across Katís
forehead, then her cheek, then her nose:

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               I want you to let go of the hurt.
               ...the insecurity...the past. When
               you do, heíll see you the way I see
               you, and, in that moment, heíll
               finally understand what he lost.

Nick tips Katís chin towards him. She opens her eyes. Nick
is suddenly serious.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               But by then, the amazing thing
               is...you wonít care.

Kat shudders, and gradually comes to. Her eyes are lazy, she
feels off balance.

                         KAT
               Holy crap. Youíre worth every
               penny.

Nick gives her a half smile.

                         NICK
               You better get going.

Kat is turned on and canít seem to move.

                         KAT
               Okay, Yoda.

Silence.

                         NICK
               Go.

Nick turns Kat around and points her toward the bar next
door. Wearing an almost dopey look of pleasure, she adjusts
her underwear, and stumbles towards the bar. A sly smile
creeps across her lips as we...

                                                      CUT TO:

A LINE OF TWENTY SHOTS BEING SET AFLAME. WIDEN TO REVEAL --

INT. THE COCK & BOTTLE

Kat passes out the shots to a pack of WOMEN all wearing
hybrid golf-slut outfits: ass-tight polo shirts and plaid
Capri pants abound. Itís ďSociety Girls Gone Wild.Ē

                         KAT
               Yo, ladies! Listen up! The bride
               has made the foolhardy and perhaps
               fatal request, that we play Pub
               Golf tonight.
                    (holding up a shot)
               Behold hole one. Thereís a twostroke
               penalty for failure to
               finish a hole and a three-stroke
               penalty for barfing. Yell ďFore!Ē
               before you barf and itís only two
               strokes.

The girls are scared shitless.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Weíve got eight more holes waiting at
               eight more bars, so in the name of
               all things sacred, pace yourselves!
                    (raising her shot)
               To Amy!

Amy loves the attention.

                         AMY
               To me!

Cheering, the girls blow out their shots and do their best to
down them in one go. Just then, Nick walks in.

All eyes are drawn to him. The WORLD SLOWS as he beelines
for Kat. He hands Kat her purse.

                         NICK
               I thought you might need this.

Kat gives Nick a shy smile.

                         KAT
               Silly me, where was my head?

Kat canít help noticing that the group of girls has subtly
clustered around Nick.

                         TJ
               Stay. Have a fiery drink with us.

                         NICK
               I donít know....

A SMITTEN GIRL puts a drink in Nickís hand.

                         SMITTEN GIRL
               Stay.

Nick looks to Kat, she smiles. Amy furrows her brow
theatrically. Unfortunately, no one sees her.

INT. THE COCK & BOTTLE - LATER

Nick is surrounded by women and completely at ease. Amyís
drunk and pouty. TJ stands between Kat and Amy. Oblivious
to the brewing tension, sheís eating beer nuts and staring at
Nick.

                         TJ
               Itís like the directorís cut of ď9
               1/2 Weeks.Ē

She pops a nut in her mouth.

                         TJ (CONTíD)
               The thing about Nick is, youíre
               either looking at him, or youíre
               pretending not to.
                    (beat)
               Me? Iím looking.
                    (to Amy)
               Can you believe Kat gets to sleep
               with this guy?

Amy sneers. TJ turns back to Kat.

                         TJ (CONTíD)
               Honestly, you should send God a
               bottle of wine or a muffin basket.

TJ clinks glasses with Kat. Kat appreciates the attention.

Amy appreciates it less. She suddenly wails.

                         AMY
               Why is he still here?!

This snaps Kat out of her reverie. She scurries into problemsolving
mode.

                         KAT
               Oh, sorry. Youíre right. Girls
               only.

Kat turns and throws Nick a look. Nick, ever sensitive to
nuances, easily catches the hint and puts on his coat to go.

                         NICK
               Ladies, thank you for granting me
               this rare glimpse into a timeless
               female ritual.
                    (raising his glass)
               To the husbands who won you, the
               losers who lost you, and to the
               lucky bastards who have yet to meet
               you.

They all clink glasses. Kat beams, until...

                         AMY
                    (sour)
               And to the cock in the hen house.

Nick kisses Kat on the cheek and smoothly departs. They all
watch him walk out. TJ is still watching the door, as if
Nickís essence has lingered.

                         TJ
               I canít believe you met him first.
               Itís so depressing. Somebody buy
               my wooha a drink.

Kat raises her drink to TJís nether region.

                         KAT
               To TJís lady business. And to Amy!

                         GUYS (O.S.)
               To Ed!

INT. JEFFREYíS FLAT - SAME

A DOZEN MEN down their shots. Jeffrey immediately refills
their glasses with tequila. Alcohol and alpha abound. Nick
walks in the front door. He takes off his suit coat and
tries not to feel like the chaperone at a frat party.

Over by the bar, Jeffrey stands with Ed, eyeing Nick.

                         JEFFREY
               Whatís his problem?

                         ED
               What?

                         JEFFREY
               Thereís something about him thatís
               just a bit odd.

                         ED
               Other than, heís shagging your exgirlfriend?

                         JEFFREY
               No, thatís not it.

Jeffrey pours Ed another drink.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               You are a tosser.

Jeffreyís suddenly emotional.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               Remember when we went hiking in the
               lake district and Amy was wearing
               that little bikini thing.

                         ED
               No.

                         JEFFREY
               It was before you started going
               out. We had lunch at that inn on
               the lake.

                         ED
               Oh, yes. Right. The Rat and
               Parrot.

                         JEFFREY
               And Kat was fully clothed.

                         ED
               But, somehow, it was Katís arse
               that was stung by nettles. And you
               rubbed it with a dandelion leaf.

                         JEFFREY
               Thatís when I realized I wanted to
               be a doctor.

                         ED
               Oh, shut up. Youíre an optician.

                         JEFFREY
               Lasik surgeon, actually.

Jeffrey takes a thoughtful sip of beer.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               I didnít deserve her back then.

                         ED
               And you do now?

Jeffrey looks genuinely pained, then something dawns on him.

                         JEFFREY
               Maybe I hate women.

Nick appears.

                         NICK
               All women or just the two-legged
               ones who steal your money, screw
               your friends, and vacuum during the
               World Cup?

Jeffrey laughs. He has no idea Nick is making fun of him.

                         ED
               Jeff was just reminiscing about
               your girlfriendís backside.

Ed crosses away and Jeffrey glances nervously at Nick.

                         JEFFREY
               Look, the thing is. About that
               love-of-my-life nonsense. I would
               appreciate it if you didnít say
               anything to Kat. It was silly.
               Itís all rather complicated.

Nick is about to respond when the music CRESCENDOS and a
STRIPPER strides in from the back room. Spotting Ed, Jeffrey
clothes-lines him and drags him off into a chorus of GUYH

OWLS and CHEERS.

INT. WOODYíS WATERING HOLE - LATER

The bachelorette-party girls CHEER as they down drink number
seven at bar number seven, an Australian outback-themed pub.

Things have gone way downhill -- or uphill -- depending on
how you look at it.

Kat sits at the bar. In the background, Amy dances drunkenly
with TJ. WOODY, the dorky, sexy Australian bartender,
appears behind the bar with a drink for Kat.

                         WOODY
               This oneís on the house.

Kat grabs his sleeve.

                         KAT
               Iím worried. Amyís not good at
               drinking. She gets sooo drunk sooo
               fast. Does free alcohol get you
               less drunk or more drunker?
                    (to herself)
               Is it Ďdrunkerí or Ďdrunker-erí?

                         WOODY
               Just drunk enough.

Woody dumps out the free drink and exchanges it with a bottle
of water.

                         WOODY (CONTíD)
               If you switch now, you might be
               able to stand up for the ceremony.

Kat looks at him for the first time and realizes she knows
him.

                         KAT
               Woody?

Woody just smiles.

                         WOODY
               ďNot yet...Ē

                         KAT
               ď...but itís getting there. ď

Kat clumsily lunges across the bar to hug him, knocking over
a bottle of beer, which Woody deftly catches.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               I thought you were living in San
               Francisco. Or was it Nepal?

                         WOODY
               Close. Sydney. Turns out, I
               missed the rain.

They take each other in. Her smile is bleary.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               You look so much better.

Woodyís trying not to feel shy around Kat.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Is this what youíre doing?
               Bartending?
                    (beat)
               Not that itís not great. Itís
               just, you used to have dreams and
               plans.

Woody proudly points to Katís cocktail napkin. It says,
WOODYíS WATERING HOLE.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Whoa! Good for you!

Woodyís weighing something. He decides to say it.

                         WOODY
               I always wondered what happened
               with us.

                         KAT
                    (taken aback)
               I havenít thought about that in
               years.

Just then, Amy comes up behind Kat.

                         AMY
               Did Kat tell you she dumped you
               because of your funky breath?

                         KAT
               Did Amy tell you she keeps her
               Homecoming tiara by the bed?

To Katís annoyance, Amy laughs.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Sheís drunk. -er than me. But I
               didnít really dump you, did I?

                         WOODY
               Hard.

Woody smiles, sweetly.

                         WOODY (CONTíD)
               Which was understandable -- you
               were one of the hottest girls at
               the American School, but I sort of
               thought youĎd be nicer...at least
               tell me why...ícause we were
               friends first.

Katís on the spot. Embarrassed. Amyís drunk-dancing and
mumbling to herself.

                         AMY
               And we know Kat was the hottest expat
               in school because she was voted
               Best Eyes, Brightest Smile, and Most
               Likely to Age Well. No, wait. That
               was me. Never mind.

Kat canít take it.

                         KAT
               Christ, Amy.

                         AMY
               Oh, shut up and be happy. Itís always
               this or that. Youíre never happy, you
               frowny-faced Grumplestilskin.

                         KAT
               Drunk isnít the same thing as
               happy, Amy.

They both know theyíre serious but Amy pouts and throws her
arms around Kat.

                         AMY
               Youíre my half sister, but I whole
               love you.

Katís furious but she forces a smile.

                         KAT
               Why donít you get my half sister
               her seventh hole?

                         AMY
               Bacardi 151.

Woody disappears just as Amy teeters and catches herself on
the bar.

                         KAT
               Are you okay?

Amyís drunkenness turns. Tears well up in her eyes.

                         AMY
               I donít think I can go through with
               this.

                         KAT
               Pub Golf?

                         AMY
               The wedding.
                    (loud whisper)
               I am so, so bad! I donít think I
               should be allowed to get married.

Kat is blindsided.

                         KAT
               What are you talking about?

Then, as quickly as she went into the darkness, Amy pops out.

She yells over to TJ.

                         AMY (CONTíD)
               TJ! Virginia Slim!

TJ comes dancing up, hands Amy a cigarette and a lighter. The
crowd watches as Amy puts the cigarette in her lips, pours
the shot into TJís open mouth and lights it on fire with her
lighter. Then she leans over and LIGHTS HER CIGARETTE ON THE
FLAMES COMING OUT OF TJíS MOUTH.

The bar erupts in CHEERS but Kat is left worried, troubled by
Amyís confession. A beat, then she downs her shot.

EXT. EDíS HOUSE - LATER

The cheers ECHO in the night as Nick helps Ed walk towards
his house. Ed navigates the pavement like itís made of
water. They reach the front door.

                         NICK
                    (propping Ed up)
               Youíre okay. You got it.

Ed wobbles, then stands up by himself. Nick unlocks the
door.

                         ED
               Just because some slagís been paid
               for, doesnít mean youíve got
               to...you know.

                         NICK
               Itís been my experience that the
               people who hire a prostitute, need
               a prostitute.
                    (beat)
               You did the right thing.

Ed blinks at Nick.

                         ED
               I think I love you, mate.
                    (beat)
               How do you know so much about so
               much?

                         NICK
               Iím a hooker.

Ed bursts out laughing, pats him on the back, and walks into
his house.

EXT./INT. LONDON STREET [DRIVING] - LATER

The bachelorette girls ride home in ďThe Pub Prowler.Ē Itís
a senior citizen med-van thatís been pimped out with a full
bar and an all-shag-all-the-time interior.

The girls are drunk and rowdy. Kat climbs up behind the
DRIVER and taps her on the shoulder.

                         KAT
               Can you pull over at the next seven
               ATMs?

The Driver gives Kat a dubious look, then pulls up to a bank.

ATM MONTAGE:

EXT. STREET [VARIOUS]

--Kat jumps out of The Pub Prowler and clumsily slots her ATM
card into the machine.

--Kat checks her lipstick in The mirrored security camera of
a different ATM machine then flips through a stack of credit
cards. She pulls out a different card and slips it in.

--ECU on screen: MAXIMUM WITHDRAWAL £200. Katís at another
ATM. In the Prowler, a couple of girls heckle passers-by as
Kat rifles through her cards, desperate for some un-maxed
plastic.

--The Prowler drops off a couple more girls. Kat walks back
from an ATM and gets in.

EXT. TJíS HOTEL - NIGHT

Kat and Amy wave at TJ as she trips out of the Prowler and
stumbles towards her hotel. TJ waves back with a bright,
happy smile--

                         TJ
               That was awesome! How much do we
               rock?
                    (beat)
               Fore!

She whips around and throws up in a topiary. In the Prowler,
Amy and Kat wince. TJ whips back up.

                         TJ (CONTíD)
               I WIN!

She waves at Kat and Amy and trots past the STOIC DOORMAN,
who holds the door open for her.

EXT. ELLIS HOUSE

Kat and Amy stand in the driveway. They watch as the Prowler
pulls away. Amy is about to head next door, when she turns
to Kat.

                         AMY
               It was a great party. Thank you.

Amy reaches out to hug Kat. Kat wasnít expecting the hug and
itís awkward. Amy senses it and pulls away.

                         KAT
               Do you want to come in for a minute?
               We could talk about--

                         AMY
               When I freaked out at the pub?
                    (she hiccups)
               That was nothing, just nerves.
               Donít worry about it.

                         KAT
               But I do. I will. Youíre my
               sister.

With a post-Bacardi 151 suddenness, Amyís face contorts with
shame. She recoils, an angry tear running down her face.

                         AMY
               God, Kat! Please. Donít be nice to
               me. I can take anything right now
               but you being nice to me.

                         KAT
                    (wildly confused)
               What? Why? What do you mean?

Amy is suddenly in terrible distress.

                         AMY
               I should get going.

                         KAT
               Are you sure youíre okay?

                         AMY
               Iím fine. I promise.

Kat wants to say more but Amy is already walking away. Kat
turns towards the house and just catches the light shutting
off in her upstairs room.

INT. HALL - ELLIS HOUSE

Kat shuts the front door. She leans against it for a moment
to get her balance, clear her head.

INT. KITCHEN - ELLIS HOUSE

Kat sits at the kitchen table, a glass of water in front of
her. She downs three aspirin and stares into the darkness.

INT. HALL - ELLIS HOUSE - LATER

Kat starts up the stairs. The first step CREAKS loudly.

Remembering countless school-age sneak-ins, Kat flattens her
foot against the back of each step and soundlessly walks up
the stairs.

INT. KATíS ROOM - ELLIS HOUSE

Nick is asleep in Katís bed, bare-chested under a single
sheet.

The CAMERA FINDS Kat standing with her back to the door,
staring at Nick. Nick stirs, opens his eyes, and rises onto
one arm.

                         NICK
               You okay?

Kat walks to him, takes his hand.

                         KAT
                    (whispering)
               Shhhh.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - ELLIS HOUSE

Kat leads Nick down the driveway towards the BOAT TRAILER.

On it, the twenty-six-foot CABIN CRUISER with peeling paint.

Kat unbuttons the weathered cover and peels it back. She
climbs up a ladder and hoists herself into the boat. Nick
smiles at the strangeness of this, then climbs in after her.

INT. BOAT

In the cabin, Kat flicks a couple of switches and a row of
lights flicker on. She flicks another switch and a piercing
sea-horn BLARES the ďWilliam Tell Overture.Ē She scrambles
to turn it off and checks the house for activity. A dog
BARKS in the distance.

Relieved, Kat pushes a tape into an old radio. MUSIC limps
through hollow speakers.

Kat leads Nick into the cabin and onto the bed. Without
taking her eyes off him, Kat starts to slowly undress. Her
shirt drops to the floor. Then, a moment later, her skirt.

Kat breathes deeply then reaches behind her back and flicks
open her bra. We watch Katís face as she lets it fall to the
floor. Kat is indeed a woman who doesnít do naked -- this is
killing her.

On the bed, Nick doesnít say anything, just watches. Kat
wants to read something into his stare. Longing, desire,
anything. But heís utterly inscrutable. Itís both unnerving
and extremely sexy.

Kat steels herself and removes her underwear. She loses her
nerve momentarily and pulls them up again. Finally, she
slips them off and tries not to laugh as she scurries onto
the bed.

Hovering lazily in the waking dream of interrupted sleep,
Nick gazes at Kat. In a trick of light, the cabin windows
glow liquid, as though the moon were reflecting off water.

Nick runs his hand across Katís waist. Sheís trying to hold
back. He knows it and likes it. He takes her face in his
hands and kisses her. Itís amazing. A different kind of
kiss. They pull back and look at each other.

In one swift movement, he flips Kat underneath him.

Suddenly, the space between them collapses and they attack
each other.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - ELLIS HOUSE - DAWN

Katís house beams in the scarlet light of dawn. Two BIN-MEN
walk down the driveway toward the bins. They grab three bins
and drag them noisily past the boat parked in the driveway.

INT. BOAT

CLOSE ON Kat and Nick, asleep, their faces pressed up against
each other.

We PULL BACK to reveal Kat and Nick entwined, naked. We PULL
BACK further to reveal that theyíre covered with a fleece
blanket and a pile of life vests.

Nick opens his eyes and looks at Kat, who is as calm and
content as weíve seen her. Then, he realizes where he is.

Itís like waking up in a strange hotel room, only weirder
because itís a boat...in a driveway...in London.

Nick carefully extricates himself and begins to dress. Weíve
seen this scene a thousand times before, but Nickís escape is
breathtakingly precise and practiced.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - ELLIS HOUSE

Nick climbs down the ladder of the boat just as the Bin-Men
are returning the empty bins beside the garage. Nick gives
them a nod.

                         NICK
               Morning.

The guys nod back and finish their job as Nick sneaks toward
the house.

INT. KITCHEN - ELLIS HOUSE

Victor and Bunny sit at the kitchen table. Victorís buried
in the International Herald Tribune crossword puzzle. Bunny
looks out the window and sees Nick creeping towards the
house, shoes in hand.

                         BUNNY
               She still thinks we donít know
               about the boat thing.

Victor looks up from his paper. He sees Nick, snorts, and
goes back to his crossword.

INT. BOAT - LATER

Katís eyes flutter open. Her hair is plastered into an
impromptu quasi-beehive. She looks down at her ďpillow.Ē

Itís a buoy.

Kat suddenly sits bolt upright. She grabs a life vest to
cover her naked chest and looks around in horror. Then her
eyes widen as she remembers the rest of the night.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - ELLIS HOUSE

Kat slinks towards the house, retreading Nickís walk of
shame.

INT. KITCHEN - ELLIS HOUSE

Victor looks up from his paper and sees Kat.

EXT. DRIVEWAY - ELLIS HOUSE

Katís almost to the house when she hears a loud, POUNDING.

She looks up to see HER FATHER tapping on the window and
laughing at her. Katís mortified, but canít help smiling.

She waves and keeps walking.

                                                      CUT TO:

INT. KATíS ROOM

Kat looks around frantically for something. She finds her
purse and checks to see if the ATM money is still there. It
is. She breathes a sigh of relief, then, hearing footsteps,
hastily stuffs the wad back in.

Nick opens the door, carrying a breakfast-in-bed tray. Kat
spins around, guiltily.

                         NICK
               I wasnít sure what works for you,
               so Iíve got a pack of Saltines, a
               bottle of Pedialyte -- preferred by
               infants and rock stars -- an eggand-
               cheese sandwich, a black
               coffee, and a Bloody Mary.

Kat slumps onto the bed. She hasnít gotten her land legs
back yet.

                         KAT
               This is really sweet of you, but I
               need to ask you something.
                    (desperately)
               What happened last night?

Nick is taken aback. He sets down the tray. Heís not sure
what to say, then makes a decision.

                         NICK
               Nothing.

Kat looks surprised, then skeptical.

                         KAT
               Are you sure?

                         NICK
               We kissed. Made out a little.
               Then you passed out.

She stares at him long and hard.

                         KAT
               Whether itís true or not, thank
               you.

Kat disappears and Nick bites into a Saltine as the shower
HISSES on. Then something catches his eye. Itís Katís purse
lying next to the bed. Stuffed on top,

A WAD OF MONEY. His brow furrows, Nick picks it up and leafs
through the stack of pounds and euros.

INT. KATíS BATHROOM

In the shower, Kat lets the scorching water punish and purify
her.

                         NICK (O.S.)
               Whatís this?

Startled, Kat peeks her head out of the shower curtain and
sees Nick holding the pile of money.

                         KAT
               Oh. Shoot. I--

She retreats into the shower, yanking the curtain closed.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
                    (mouthing words)
               Shit! Shit! Shit!

Nick pulls open the curtain and Kat instantly stops her
pantomimed self-flagellation.

                         NICK
               Is this for last night?

                         KAT
               Of course not. How...how could it
               be? Nothing happened.

                         NICK
               If I was going to charge you, I
               would have told you beforehand. I
               thought I explained that.

Naked in front of Nick, Kat is trying not to flinch.

                         KAT
               I didnít want you to think I was
               expecting anything to be free or
               that I was expecting something at
               all. Well, clearly I was expecting
               something or I wouldnít have
               stopped at all those ATMs on the
               way home.
                    (beat)
               By the way, would it have been
               enough? I mean, if something had
               happened. Which it didnít?

Kat wants to slip down the drainpipe. Nick looks at her,
considers his words carefully.

                         NICK
               Donít they have a limit at those
               machines?

                         KAT
                    (quietly)
               Not if you take an advance on your
               credit card.

Now Nick has to really try to stifle a laugh. Nick puts the
money on the sink. He goes to leave, then turns back.

                         NICK
               Youíre three hundred short.

With that, he walks out. In the shower, Kat gently bangs her
head against the tile. She looks down and notices something.

                         KAT
               And my Brazilian wax looks like...
               Brazil.
                    (resting against the tile)
               Awesome.

INT. KITCHEN - ELLIS HOUSE

Nick and Victor are eating breakfast, the newspaper spread
out between them. Victorís still working on the crossword
puzzle.

                         VICTOR
               Whatís a four letter word for
               daughter defiler?
                    (beat, writing it in)
               Oh. N-I-C-K.

Before Nick can react--

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               You a boating man, son?

Victorís expression is inscrutable. Nick weighs his options
and then--

                         NICK
               I am now, sir.

                         VICTOR
                    (laughing)
               At least somebodyís using the damn
               thing.
                    (beat)
               I was gonna fix her up but we took
               one trip and the kids fought so
               much, we never launched her again.

Just then, Kat walks in with an air of feigned nonchalance.

                         KAT
               Thatís not true. We checked for
               leaks a few years back.
                    (kisses her father)
               Good morning.

                         VICTOR
               Ahoy!

Kat throws him a look. He chuckles. As Nick gets up to get
himself some orange juice, Kat corners him behind the
refrigerator door.

                         KAT
                    (hushed)
               So youíre telling me. If something
               had happened last night...it would
               have cost me fourteen hundred
               dollars? Thatís a down payment on
               a Ford Focus!

                         NICK
               Not dollars. Pounds.

Nick pours a glass of juice and offers it to Kat. Kat shakes
her head.

                         NICK
               My rate isnít arbitrary. It was
               determined by prevailing market
               conditions. By the way, it
               includes oral. Thatís the extra
               three hundred.... Pounds.

He smiles and sips his juice. She is outraged by his
presumption--

                         KAT
               And what if I didnít want you
               to...to do that to me?

                         NICK
               No, no. The three hundred is for
               you doing it to me.

                         KAT
               What?

                         NICK
               Believe me, if anything had
               happened, that would have been one
               of the highlights. For you.

                         KAT
               But nothing did.

                         NICK
               Yup. Thatís why you get to keep
               your money.

Nick walks away. Sits down next to Victor. Kat glares
daggers at him. Nick smiles and toasts her with his juice.

Just then, Amy enters in a flurry of cheerfulness, as if last
night never happened. Bunny follows, carrying a clipboard.

                         AMY
               Hey, Ginger! Hey, Gilligan! How
               much do I love all this? Iím going
               to get divorced and remarried over
               and over again so itíll last
               forever. Kat, be a sweetie, and go
               help with the rings. No way
               Jeffreyís going to get it right.

Amy breezes out.

                         KAT
                    (to no one)
               Iíd be happy to. Youíre welcome.

                         BUNNY
               Oh, donít be that way.

                         VICTOR
                    (sticking up for Kat)
               Come on, Bun. Leave her alone.

                         BUNNY
                    (to Kat)
               Itís not always about you, sweetie.

Katís stung. Nick watches out of the corner of his eye.

                         KAT
               How could you say that? Of course
               itís not about me. Itís never
               about me when sheís in the room
               because you two are on a special
               team. You might as well have Tshirts
               made up.

Kat lowers her voice.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Iím sorry. I donít know why Iím
               being so sensitive. I just get
               tired of being odd man out.

Bunny looks over at Victor.

                         BUNNY
               Tell me about it.

Bunny squeezes Katís cheek and kisses her.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Oh honey, itís not that I love Amy
               more. Itís that she lets me love
               her.

This flip comment hits Kat hard.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
                    (obliviously)
               Iím off. Ta-ta!

As Bunny walks out, Victor raises an eyebrow, then goes back
to his crossword. Kat stands a moment, feeling awkward.

                         KAT
                    (to Nick)
               Okay, then. Iíll catch up with you
               at the dance thing.... Sweetie.

Nick gives Kat a casual nod. She exits. Behind the BUSINESS
section, Nickís face is a mask. Then he smiles. This girl
is nuts.

A door BUZZES.

INT. JEWELRY STORE - ST. JOHNíS WOOD

Kat enters and approaches SAL, 60, a tough-talking, Cockney
teddy bear.

                         KAT
               Hey, Sal.

                         SAL
               I heard you were back in town,
               kitty cat. Youíre here for the
               highland flings, I bet.

                         KAT
               I get all the glamour jobs.

He smiles and heads into the back. Kat casually looks into
the counter. Her face is blank as she scans row after row of
engagement rings.

Sal reemerges with two ring boxes. Kat takes the rings and
smiles.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Thanks, Sally.

She turns to go.

                         SAL
               The one I made for you is the
               cherries. You hang onto it or give
               it back?

                         KAT
               Give it back? Are you nuts?

                         SAL
               You pawned it.

                         KAT
               Not exactly. I wear it.
                    (defiantly)
               On my right hand. And only rarely.

Just then, the door BUZZES. Kat turns. Itís Jeffrey,
tugging on the handle. Sal scowls.

                         SAL
               You want I nut him in the boat?

                         KAT
               Yes? No. What?
                    (beat)
               Save the patter for the tourists.

                         SAL
               You want me to let him in?

                         KAT
               Of course, donít be silly.

Sal BUZZES Jeffrey in and gives him the dirty eye before he
disappears into the back.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Hey, you!

                         JEFFREY
               Let me guess. Amy presumed Iíd
               forget the rings.
                    (off her look)
               I think Iím her least favorite
               person.
                    (beat)
               You know, I am sorry.

                         KAT
                    (warming)
               Maybe not her least... Thereís
               always--

                         KAT/JEFFREY
               Edís mother.

They share a moment.

                         KAT
               So, tell me, howís unmarried life?

                         JEFFREY
               I have regrets.

Kat jumps down his throat, instantly abandoning her false
largesse.

                         KAT
               Whoa, Jeffrey. Slow down. You and
               me, weíre the past. Iím not sure
               if you noticed, but Iím here with
               someone else.

                         JEFFREY
               Kat, we must talk. This guy,
               thereís something not quite right.

                         KAT
               Itís called character. God, youíre
               predictable.

                         JEFFREY
               Is that why you brought him?
               Because of me.

Kat laughs way too hard.

                         KAT
               Donít be absurd.

Kat is about to walk out the door, but she canít help
herself. She stops.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               I brought him here because heís my
               boyfriend. Because I adore him.
               Because late at night he takes me
               in his arms and....

Kat leans in and whispers something into Jeffreyís ear.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Iíd stick around and explain what
               that means, but even if I give you
               the instruction manual, it doesnít
               mean youíve got the tools to get
               the job done.

Kat tries not to do a little ďfuck-youĒ jig as she walks out
the door.

EXT. STREET - ST. JOHNíS WOOD

Kat strides away but Jeffrey catches up to her. She secretly
smiles at the power she is exerting over him.

                         JEFFREY
               Kat, wait. I donít want you hating
               me. Weíve never had this talk.
               You know how crap I am at this.

                         KAT
               Um, news flash: I donít give a
               shit.

                         JEFFREY
               Kat, stop it. You do. You canít
               even look me in the eye. You went
               back to the States when we split
               up.

Jeffrey sees Kat flinch. He knows heís hit something. She
looks away.

                         KAT
               That was a long time ago.

                         JEFFREY
               It was. And it took your sister
               getting married to get you back
               here.

                         KAT
                    (wavering)
               So, whatís your point?

                         JEFFREY
               I should have told you why I broke
               up with you. I was a coward. You
               deserve to know.

Just then Nick walks up. He puts a protective hand on Katís
back and shakes Jeffreyís hand.

                         NICK
               Hey, man.

                         JEFFREY
               Sorry, can you give us a moment?

                         NICK
               No, I canít. Weíre late for a
               dance lesson. I guess youíll have
               to finish up later.

Kat gives Nick an angry look as he pulls her away.

INT. DANCE CLUB STAIRCASE

Kat, furious, charges up the stairs--

                         NICK
               Hello, goodbye, I want you, I hate
               you. Itís all just words. None of
               it means anything. What matters is
               what you do. You either stay put
               or you walk away. If you look
               back, youíre not walking away!

                         KAT
               Oh, cut the crap!

                         NICK
               I just hate seeing you so stuck.

                         KAT
               He was about to un-stick me!
                    (hissing)
               I paid you to help me get closure.

                         NICK
               You paid me for a lot of reasons.
               Closure wasnít one of them.

Kat is infuriated. She huffs and pushes open the door.

INT. STEP-BALL-CHANGE DANCE CLUB

Nick and Kat burst in, late. Glistening hardwood floors,
mirrored walls. Eyes closed and hands clasped, Amy and Ed
stand in a circle with SONJA, late 50ís, the melodramatic
dance teacher. Kat and Nick join the circle.

                         KAT
                    (mumbling)
               Sorry.

Sonja barely tolerates the interruption, closes her eyes and
breathes in deeply.

                         SONJA
               The wedding dance is, sans doubte,
               the most important dance-moment in
               a personís life.

Ed cracks open his eyes to see if anyone else thinks this is
a crock of shit. Nick catches Edís eye. Amy darts Ed a ďpay
attentionĒ look.

                         SONJA (CONTíD)
               A room full of friends, family,
               enemies...watching, smiling,
               betting on how long the marriage
               will last. All youíll have is each
               other and whatever skills you
               acquire today.

Katís grip on Nickís hand tightens. Ed cracks open his eyes
again. This time, he looks unnerved.

                         SONJA (CONTíD)
               There are people who will tell you
               that the wedding dance is symbolic of
               a coupleís compatibility. Of a
               rapport that cannot be faked. That
               an unskilled man on the dance floor
               is a man who lacks grace in bed.
                    (beat)
               These people are right.

Sonja claps three times.

                         SONJA (CONTíD)
               Eyes open and pair off!

They all open their eyes wide.

INT. STEP-BALL-CHANGE DANCE CLUB - MOMENTS LATER

Ed and Amy dance awkwardly to a standard as Sonja gives them
instructions.

ANGLE ON KAT AND NICK, dancing sedately, if awkwardly. There
is still tension between them. Kat, contrite, dares a glance
into his eyes.

                         KAT
               Iím sorry I was such a bitch. I
               really appreciate your doing this.

                         NICK
                    (simply)
               Itís my job.

Kat gazes deep into his eyes. A long look. The longest
sheís been able to sustain since the boat. She canít read
him.

                         SONJA (O.S.)
                    (to Amy and Ed)
               She knows you better than anyone.
               You know her better than she knows
               herself. Where does that feeling
               live? I don't care if it's your
               heart, your head, or your crotch.
               Find that place and dance from it.

                         KAT
               You know what pisses me off? Iíve
               been spilling my guts all weekend
               but I donít know anything about
               you. Not one thing.

Nick looks down at her, considering.

                         NICK
               Iím allergic to fabric softener, I
               majored in Comparative Literature
               at Brown, and I think Iíd miss you
               even if we had never met.

Kat blinks, the power of his words hitting her hard. They
dance a moment in silence.

                         KAT
               Now will you tell me how you became
               an escort?

Nick smiles enigmatically. Then without warning--

NICK SPINS KAT AROUND, THEN REELS HER IN TIGHT.

In a hyper-romantic cinematic flourish,

THE FLOOR SWELLS AND THE WALLS DISAPPEAR.

The music sharpens as if itís no longer coming from an old
record player but from a classic MGM soundtrack.

Nick and Kat are weightless as they glide across the floor.

Their eyes stay locked on each other as though it were this
connection, and not gravity, that keeps them on earth.

Kat and Nick seem to slow down but the world stays at normal
speed.

ON SONJA, astonished. She stops and watches.

ON AMY AND ED, as they notice whatís going on. They stop
dancing and stare, too, slacked-jawed, as Nick and Kat float
past, completely wrapped up in each other.

Nick and Kat are incredible together.

The music CRESCENDOS as Nick gracefully spins Kat to a
perfect stop.

                         ED
               So you canít dance, eh? Bloody
               liar.

Nick and Kat crash back to earth. They stop dancing. The
walls close in and the music sucks back into the speakers.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               I thought you said you were crap.

                         NICK
               I had to say something to get you
               here.

                         ED
               Fair enough, but Iím stepping on
               toes here and youíre waltzing
               around like...

                         AMY
               Fred Astaire and whatís her face!

                         NICK
               Itís not me. I swear. Itís her.
               Sheís magic.

Kat blushes. Sonja claps her hands, happily.

                         SONJA
               And, switch partners!

EXT. STEP-BALL-CHANGE DANCE CLUB - LATER

Nick, Kat, Amy, and Ed walk out of the studio. Ed skips down
the steps and onto the street. Then he realizes what heís
doing and abruptly stops.

                         ED
               Youíd better get going. My parents
               will be Ďround to cart you off to
               the country.

                         AMY
               Whatever you do, donít mention
               Italy. Or politics. Or baby
               buggies.
                    (beat)
               Or Edith Piaf.

                         ED
               Your probably best off pretending
               youíre asleep.

Ed grabs Amy by the neck and pulls her away.

Amy laughs but Kat catches a look on her sisterís face. Itís
not quite nervousness. Itís something closer to panic. Amy
waves over her shoulder as they walk away.

                                                      CUT TO:

A BOAT SAILING ACROSS FRAME, WIDER TO REVEAL--

EXT. KATíS HOUSE - ST. JOHNíS WOOD

Victor tows the boat with an annoyed Bunny in the passenger
seat. As they pull out of the driveway, they wave to Nick,
who sits on a stone wall in front of the house.

Nick talks on his cell phone, Katís bags piled high next to
him, as Pigeons walk and flap around him.

Kat appears carrying two bottles of water. When Nick sees
Kat, he hangs up too quickly. Kat pretends not to notice.

She eyes the pigeons suspiciously.

                         KAT
               Pigeons creep me out. Theyíre like
               dirty doves...plotting something.

Nick playfully pulls Kat down next to him. Spooked by the
increasing number of pigeons, Kat inches away from them and
closer to Nick. Kat frowns, suddenly pensive.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               How do you have real relationships?
               You know, ones you donít get paid
               for?

Nick isnít sure he wants to get into this.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               You have had girlfriends?

                         NICK
               Sure, but itís never easy. They
               say theyíre okay with it, and they
               are...for a while. Then one day,
               theyíre not.

They sit in silence. Itís not awkward, itís nice. London
beams under a rare cloudless sky.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               When I said Iíd never done a
               wedding before, I didnít say that
               no one ever asked. I just never
               said yes.

                         KAT
               So, whyíd you say yes to me?

                         NICK
               There was something in your voice
               on the phone that day.

                         KAT
               Desperation?

Nick doesnít acknowledge her joke. Kat sneaks a look at him.

                         NICK
               I think it was hope.

Kat hides a smile as her leg touches his. They are both
keenly aware of the contact.

                         KAT
               What would you do if you weren't an
               escort?

                         NICK
               Make out with you for free.

Nick puts his arm around her. Kat laughs.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               What would you do if you stopped
               worrying about what other people
               think?

                         KAT
               Spontaneously combust?

They sit in silence a moment. Just then, Edís parents drive
up in a beautiful old Bentley. Edís mother reaches over her
embarrassed husband and HOOTS the horn.

INT/EXT. BENTLEY [DRIVING]- LATER

George drives through the lush countryside while Lydia
carries on. In the back seat, Kat drops her head on Nickís
shoulder; theyíve clearly been enduring this awhile.

KAT, NICK, AND EDíS PARENTS -- SCENE FORTHCOMING.

                                                      CUT TO:

EXT. FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Nick, Kat, and Edís parents unload the Bentley and carry
their bags up the steps of a stately stone mansion.

EXT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - LATER

A small boathouse sits at the edge of a charming lake that
borders the main property. Nearby, ďJack ShipĒ struggles to
say afloat as PASTY KIDS sun themselves on the moored junker.

Ed mans an elaborate grill as GUESTS in summer hats mill
about.

AT A PICNIC TABLE, Victor plays poker with Nick, Kat, and TJ.

From the pile of money in front of him, itís clear Victorís
kicking ass. Victor throws in ten pounds.

                         TJ
                    (shrewd poker voice)
               You know, I might just call you...
               but if I did...I would lose...
               because my hand blows.

She throws down her cards. Kat studies her hand and tosses
in a bill.

                         KAT
               Call.

All eyes are on Nick.

                         VICTOR
               Letís see what kind of a man my
               daughterís found for herself.

Nick looks down at his money. Ten pounds. He reaches into
his pocket and pulls out a HUGE WAD OF CASH. Everyone is in
shock but he doesnít notice. He strips off a hundred, tosses
it in the pot, and takes back sixty.

                         NICK
               Raise you thirty.

Victor raises an eyebrow.

ON TJ, looking at Nick. She leans over to Kat and whispers--

                         TJ
                    (re: Nickís penis)
               Can I see it? Just for a sec?

Kat laughs and hits TJ.

                         TJ (CONTíD)
               Come on, itís so not fair. At
               least describe it to me.

Just then, Nick's cell phone RINGS. Victor plucks the phone
out of Nick's hand. Kat darts a worried look at Nick and
reaches for the phone.

                         KAT
               Daddy!

Victor wonít give it up. He answers.

                         VICTOR
                    (into phone)
               Iím sorry, Nick's about to win a
               pile of my money. He's gonna have
               to call you back.

Kat and Nick are frozen as Victor listens.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               Thank you for your understanding,
               maíam. And good luck putting out
               that fire.

He hangs up the cell phone and looks quizzically at Nick.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               What is it you do again?

                         NICK
               What would you say if I told you I
               was a member of an elite task force
               employed to safeguard our nationís
               most precious resource: your
               daughter.

Victor snorts.

                         VICTOR
               Oh, yeah, shrink. Call.

Kat hides her relief. Victor throws in the cash.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               Let me save you some trouble. My
               old man hit the bottle like it was
               his job and he had a mean streak as
               wide as the English Channel. So,
               me? I drink in moderation and have
               never raised my voice around a kid.

Kat throws in thirty pounds. Victor lays down a PAIR OF ACES
AND TWOS.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               What do you say to that?

                         NICK
               I say that feeling compelled to do
               the opposite of your parents is as
               enslaving as emulating them.

Nick lays down his hand. THREE KINGS. Victor shakes his
head. Nick glances at Kat. She twinkles at him, then lays
down a LOW STRAIGHT.

                         VICTOR
               Thatís my girl!

She does a little dance as she swipes the pile of money
toward her. Nick canít believe it.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               Best thing about being a dad is
               when your kid starts kicking your
               ass--

                         NICK
               --and The ass of The man who adores
               her.

Nick rises from the table, but his comment lingers. Kat
searches his face, wondering if he was serious. He holds her
gaze a moment, then begins picking up the cards.

Ed appears holding a plate piled high with bangers.

                         ED
               Anybody seen my future-wife?
                    (re: sausages)
               Sheíll kill me if I donít serve her
               first.

                         KAT
               Have you guys ever had a real,
               honest-to-God fight?

Ed thinks about that.

                         ED
                    (lying)
               Of course.

                         KAT
               Yeah, right.

                         ED
               I hear that make-up sex is the best
               kind. Unfortunately, Iíll never
               know.

Victor calls out to Nick--

                         VICTOR
               Hey, Sigmund, you think you could
               rustle up the bride and tell her to
               join the party?

                         NICK
               Will do.

Nick smiles at Kat and heads toward the boathouse. Kat
watches with a hint of apprehension.

FOLLOW NICK, walking across a carpet of pine needles. He
passes through a latticework of shadows and steps into the
boathouse--

INT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

NICKíS POV: Amy and Jeffrey, their backs turned, are in the
middle of an argument.

                         AMY
                    (pulling her arm away)
               I said no! Iím getting married
               tomorrow! What do you want from
               me?

Amy turns and sees Nick. Her face falls. Jeffrey sees him,
too, and blanches, then badly covers--

                         JEFFREY
               Right, then. Iíll get you a
               Tofurky Burger instead.

Jeffrey walks out stiffly and Amy, mortified, turns and
stares blankly out the window.

                         NICK
               Sorry to interrupt. Your dad sent
               me.

                         AMY
               What for?

                         NICK
               To make sure youíre okay.

Amy turns around and looks at the tiny boathouse. Although
it had looked perfect to us before, under her gaze, we see
all the cracks and dirt.

                         AMY
               You know all that ďif these walls
               could talkĒ stuff? Do you believe
               it? That a place has a memory?

                         NICK
               Actually, I do.

Amyís expression clouds as her eyes fall on the bedroom door.

Through the open door, Nick can see a small bed surrounded by
bookshelves.

                         AMY
               This place has been in Edís family
               forever. We used to spend weekends
               out here every summer.
                    (with a sigh)
               God, I hope it doesnít remember
               everything.

LAUGHTER floats in from outside, an ironic soundtrack to
Amyís desperation.

Nick pushes out the chair across from him. Amy looks at him
a moment, then sits down.

EXT. LAKE

Kat is standing with her mother, absentmindedly looking for
Nick, when Jeffrey approaches.

                         JEFFREY
               May I have a word? Itíll be just a
               minute.

                         BUNNY
               Let me think. You stole seven
               years of her life with your charm
               and your bullshit and now you want
               a couple more minutes? Sure. Go
               right ahead.

As Jeffrey walks away, Kat whispers to her mother.

                         KAT
               Thanks for the solidarity, but next
               time? A little less information.

Kat follows Jeffrey toward the lake.

INT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Amy is now sitting across from Nick at the kitchen table.

Nick is shell-shocked.

                         NICK
               Does Kat know?

Amy doesnít even bother shaking her head.

                         AMY
               It was such a long time ago.

                         NICK
               Still--

                         AMY
               If Ed ever found out....

                         NICK
               Or Kat....

                         AMY
               And she wonders why I swim to the
               bottom of a Lemondrop every time I
               see her.

Nick pushes back from the table. Heís at a loss for words.

EXT. LAKE

Jeffrey speaks to Kat with disarming sincerity. Kat tries to
keep her guard up, but despite herself, sheís listening.

                         JEFFREY
               You were so good to me. I swear I
               never meant to hurt you. We were
               together what, five years?

                         KAT
               Seven if you count the on-and-off
               years. Which I do.

                         JEFFREY
               Right. Seven.
                    (realizing)
               Christ, thatís a long time, isnít
               it?

                         KAT
               Not for a dog.

                         JEFFREY
               Well, we had a lot of good years,
               but then...

Jeffrey fumbles.

                         KAT
               Is this supposed to be an apology?

                         JEFFREY
               Itís not supposed to be anything,
               Kat. Itís just my rather feeble
               attempt to.... Oh, I donít know.
                    (beat)
               You see, I thought I could deny my
               feelings--

Something catches Katís eye: Nick exiting the boathouse.

Even from this distance, she knows that something is wrong.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               Youíre not even listening.

                         KAT
               When we were together I was ďtoo
               here,Ē now Iím not here enough.

FOLLOW KAT, as she walks away from Jeffrey through a stand of
trees and meets Nick.

In the background, Jeffrey watches, confused, then walks
away. Kat reaches out and touches Nickís arm, tentatively.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Are you okay?

Katís tenderness finds its way into Nick. It takes him a
moment to recover.

                         NICK
               Yeah. You?

                         KAT
               Yeah.

They look at each other a moment.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Letís go.

EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

Nick and Kat walk back to the main house. Side by side, they
cut through a picturesque glen. Nick shoots Kat an anxious
glance, deciding whether to reveal what he knows.

Kat catches him and smiles back, sweetly. Nick takes her
hand and kisses it, surprising her. His eyes turn back
toward the house but he doesnít let go of her hand.

INT. BATHROOM - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - NIGHT

Kat is getting ready. She's up on her tiptoes, doing her
make-up in the mirror. The radio is blaring Air Supply. Kat
sings along, passionately, embarrassingly.

Kat was clearly lying about not liking the cheesy greatest
hits. She knows every word. Somehow, she seems different,
freer. She's singing like she means it.

EXT. BALCONY - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Nick and Victor, sipping cocktails, stand on a back balcony
overlooking the party preparations. In the backyard below,
Bunny zips around, hissing orders at the STAFF.

                         BUNNY
               You, with the hair and all the
               bright ideas. Paper lantern plus
               open flame equals no-no.

                         VICTOR
               That woman is insane. God damn if
               I donít love her.

Nick wants to come clean but canít find the courage. He
chooses his words carefully.

                         NICK
               Kat does this thing. She stands on
               her tiptoes when sheís looking in
               the mirror. You ever notice that?

Victor smiles, he knows what Nickís talking about.

                         VICTOR
               I remember the day I met Kat. It
               was in New York. Iíd been dating
               Bunny for a few months, and she
               finally trusted me enough to
               introduce me to her kid. So Iím
               over at her place and in walks this
               little monster that wonít stop
               talking.
                    (remembering)
               She hands me a walkie-talkie made
               out of an orange juice can and
               drags me over to her fort. The
               fort was this lop-sided mess of
               blankets and the walkie-talkie
               almost took my ear off, but she was
               having the time of her life.
                    (shaking his head)
               That was it. I was a goner.

A wave of nostalgia passes over him.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               That was the day I became a dad. And
               from that moment on, I just knew.
               Iíd give that little girl everything
               she ever needed, Iíd love her
               unconditionally, and I wouldnít let
               her out of the house until she was
               thirty.

Nick laughs.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               You think itís going to get easier
               when they get older. That youíre
               going to worry about them less. Or
               trust the world more. But thatís
               just not how it goes.

They stand in silence a moment.

                         NICK
               Iím not sure if this is going to
               make sense to you, Sir, but Iíd
               like to ask permission to date your
               daughter.

Victor gives Nick an intense but unreadable look.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               The ladies are fond of you, Nick.
               I can see that. I also see that
               whatever else you are, youíre a
               helluva good guy.
                    (beat)
               She paid a real price dating
               Jeffrey. This will be different,
               wonít it?

Nickís not sure what Victor knows. He wants to assure him,
to make promises. Instead, he says nothing. Victor and Nick
look at each other, a silent understanding between them.

EXT. GARDEN - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - LATER

The rehearsal dinner is underway. Strung with paper
lanterns, the yard looks enchanted. The usual suspects are
packed around a candle-lit table, absorbed in lively
conversation. Jeffrey, brooding, doesnít engage, just drinks
heavily.

At the center of it all, Nick is quietly relishing being a
part of this family dinner. Kat and Nick make eye contact.

Theyíve finally caught up with the couple they were
pretending to be at the beginning of the weekend.

Bunnyís voice cuts through the din like a knife--

                         BUNNY
               I blame Tony Pee-Pants!

                         KAT
               Oh, no.
                    (to Nick)
               She tells this story at every major
               holiday.

                         BUNNY
               Why should this be any different?
                    (taking Nickís arm)
               Besides, I have to initiate Nick
               into the family.

                    (to Nick)

I blame Tony for why my two girls
canít seem to get along.

Kat and Amy moan, here we go.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Oh, donít deny it. You barely
               tolerate each other.

                         TJ
               Itís true. All you have in common
               is that you both secretly want to
               be me.
                    (raising her glass)
               Cheers.

                         KAT
                    (to Nick)
               She blames Tony Pee-Pants
               Pinterello for everything. The
               fall of the British Empire, the
               Cold War, the internet.

                         BUNNY
               It was just after we moved here.
               My little girls got in a fight over
               Tony Pee-Pants and they havenít
               made up since.

Amy rolls her eyes, saves them all from Bunny by telling the
story herself.

                         AMY
               Apparently, Kat and I were
               inseparable.

                         BUNNY
               If Kat ate a banana, Amy threw it
               up.

                         TJ
               If Amy threw it up, Kat ate it.

Lydia is vaguely disgusted. She pulls a face. Bunny waves a
hand in front of her eyes. This story always kills her.

                         KAT
               We were eating and puking together
               in harmony until one day, Tony
               walked me home from school. He was
               my first boyfriend.
                    (pointedly)
               I was fourteen.

                         AMY
               So Tony Pee-Pants starts ignoring
               Kat. He wanted to play with me.

                         KAT
               You practically bribed him with
               your erector set.

                         NICK
                    (aside, to Kat)
               Fourteen and heís hoodwinked by a
               an erector set?

                         KAT
               I didnít say he was worth it.

They share a private smile.

                         AMY
               Whatever. The point is, Tony ended
               up with a chair in his face.

                         BUNNY
                    (in her defense)
               It was plastic. And child-sized.
               But there were some stitches
               involved.

                         TJ
               Like fifteen.

                         KAT
               Dad made me go over and apologize
               the next day.

                         BUNNY
               Iím an American and in America,
               people sue. So to prevent a
               lawsuit, I baked a tart. And I
               donít bake.

                         KAT
               So Dad rang the bell and when Tony
               Pee-Pants opened the door, I threw
               the tart at him and popped his
               stitches.

Victor laughs, remembering. Bunny hits him on the arm.

                         VICTOR
               Sorry.

He chuckles again.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               You should have seen his face--
                    (he makes a surprised
                    face)
               Then, boom. Right in the kisser.

                         BUNNY
                    (shaking her head)
               What happened to my little angels?

Amy and Kat both ignore their mother, whoís misting up.

                         NICK
               And thatís when he peed in his
               pants? After the tart?

                         KAT
               He bled a bunch, but no, there was
               no peeing.

                         NICK
               So whatís with the nickname?

They all think about that.

                         BUNNY
               I have absolutely no idea.

Everyone laughs.

EXT. GARDEN - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - LATER

Many of the guests have gone. Empty bottles of wine litter
the table. Only the immediate family, TJ, Nick and Jeffrey
remain. Jeffreyís still drinking heavily and Katís not at
the table.

INT. WINE CELLAR - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat pulls a bottle of wine off the top shelf just as someone
comes up behind her. Kat feels a hand on her back, spins
around and drops the bottle. Jeffrey reaches out and grabs
it before it drops. She looks at his somber face, takes the
bottle, and sets it back on the shelf.

                         KAT
               Okay, letís do this. Whatís the
               big confession?

EXT. GARDEN - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

Nick looks for Kat. Concern crosses his face as he notices
that Jeffreyís gone, too. Nick picks up a couple of empty
wine bottles off the table.

INT. KITCHEN - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - MOMENTS LATER

Nick drops the bottles into a recycling bin then looks over
at the basement door.

INT. WINE CELLAR - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

Nick stands at the top of the cellar stairs. Heís
eavesdropping, partially concealed by the half-open door.

                         JEFFREY (O.S.)
               Well, in a way, you were right.
               The prob was, you were in love. I
               wanted to be. But I wasnít.

INTERCUT WITH JEFFREY AND KAT:

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               If Iíd have confessed, you would
               have forgiven me. But the truth
               is, I didnít want to be forgiven.
               I sort of just needed it to end.

Kat processes Jeffreyís words, tries to be open.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               Bollocks, Iím sorry. I had no idea
               this would be so difficult.

                         KAT
               Relax. Take a breath and just say
               it. Itís no big deal. I promise.

                         JEFFREY
               Brilliant.

                         KAT
               Well, it was a big deal. As late
               as...yesterday. Or this morning.
                    (beat)
               But not anymore.

Nick smiles.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               And you were right -- it is why I
               brought Nick with me...because I
               wanted to drive you insane. To
               torture you slowly, for the entire
               weekend. But then something
               happened. I started to fall for
               him. And now, and I hope this
               doesnít hurt your feelings, now Iím
               sick of you and me, of our story.

Nick, almost giddy with happiness, moves away from the door,
then back towards it again. Finally, he closes it quietly
and leaves.

Downstairs, Kat takes Jeffreyís hand.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Itís the past. Itís nothing but
               ghosts. So just get it off your
               chest, then letís go back upstairs
               and eat some tiramisu.

                         JEFFREY
               I slept with your sister.

Silence.

                         KAT
               Iím sorry?

                         JEFFREY
               I shagged Amy. Two years ago.
               Thatís why I ended it. And then,
               after you left, sod it, we kept at
               it like rabbits until we both
               realized it was absolutely mad.
               And, you know, morally wrong. Then
               there was that one other time. And
               that was it.

Kat stares at him, blood pounding in her ears.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               Last Christmas when Ed proposed, I
               realized...Iím in love with her. I
               canít lose her.

She feels like sheís trapped in a horror movie. Sheís got to
get out of here. In a daze, she turns around and heads
toward the stairs.

                         JEFFREY (CONTíD)
               What? Good lord, say something.

You said I should tell you the
truth.

Kat stops dead, her jaw stiffens. When she turns and looks
at him, her face is filled with loathing.

                         KAT
               I wasted two years grieving this?

Kat laughs. It is so close to tears, that the sound catches
in her throat. She shakes her head, wearily, and
mechanically walks up the stairs.

EXT. GARDEN - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat emerges like a sleepwalker. She looks for Nick, doesnít
find him anywhere. She drifts toward the table. Jeffrey
appears in the doorway behind her.

TJ is the first to look up. She sees Katís face, sees
Jeffrey, and knows what happened. TJ goes to Kat.

                         TJ
               Oh, no. He told you.

                         KAT
               You knew?

                         TJ
               Iím so sorry.

Kat shakes her head and looks past TJ to Amy. Amy meets her
sisterís gaze and instantly gets it. Desperate to keep this
from Ed, she heads Kat off.

                         AMY
               Please donít say anything.

Kat looks at Amy like theyíve never met. Amyís eyes are
wild, silently pleading.

                         AMY (CONTíD)
               Please.

Kat has never felt more alone. She looks everywhere for
Nick.

He finally emerges from the house and comes to Katís rescue,
folding her in his arms. Kat holds onto him for dear life.

Then--

                         AMY
                    (to Nick)
               I canít believe you told her!

Kat pulls away from Nick, confused. As she stumbles
backwards, all she sees is Nickís face. All she hears is
Amyís voice, miles away.

                         AMY (O.S.)
               You said your job was discretion.
               You couldnít wait until you got
               back to New York?

Bunny and Victor watch, confused, as Kat runs out. Nick runs
after her as Ed approaches Jeffrey.

                         ED
               Whatís going on?

Jeffrey looks straight at his best friend.

                         JEFFREY
               Nothing.

                         ED
                    (skeptical)
               Doesnít look like nothing.

Jeffrey puts his arm around Ed.

                         JEFFREY
               Now is not the time to catch on.
                    (re: Edís empty glass)
               It is, however, time for another
               round.

EXT. FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat staggers down the moonlit lane. Sheís barely staving off
a breakdown. Nick runs up behind her.

                         NICK
               Kat!

Kat charges forward, blindly, as Nick follows.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Come on! Donít be--

Katís anger swells, she spins around.

                         KAT
               What?! I canít believe I trusted
               you! How could you not tell me!?

Nick sees the pain in Katís face. Itís pain for Jeffrey, for
the past.

                         NICK
                    (angrily)
               Jesus, Kat. What did you want me
               to say? That your sister slept
               with your fiancť? That everybody
               knew and no one respected you
               enough to tell you?

Nick is not used to being angry. He grows uneasy, hedges--

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Besides, you hired me for my
               discretion.

                         KAT
               Youíve always got that to hide
               behind, donít you? Itís just
               business!

                         NICK
               Yeah! For all I know, come Monday
               morning, weíll go back to the real
               world and...and youíll be hiring me
               for your best friend!

Katís face fills with hurt.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               I mean, come on. Did you actually
               think weíd be boyfriend and
               girlfriend?

This stops Kat a moment, then--

                         KAT
               You let me make a fool of myself!
               You lied to me! I donít know why
               that surprises me because lying is
               what you do. Itís your job. Itís
               who you are. How would you even
               know if something were real?

                         NICK
               Youíre judging me?! Oh, thatís a
               good one. Youíre lying to me,
               youíre lying to your family, and
               youíre lying to yourself. But
               youíre going to stand there and
               point a finger at me? The man you
               hired to pretend to be your
               boyfriend?

Silence. Each wants the other to fight for it. But neither
does. Kat gives up.

                         KAT
               Youíre right. I was so desperate
               to make everyone believe I was
               happy that I spent six grand on a
               lie. And after all that? The only
               one who ended up falling for it was
               me.

                         NICK
               Go ahead, Kat. Hate me. You were
               running out of steam on the whole
               Jeffrey thing. Maybe now youíll be
               able to hold onto this just long
               enough to ruin your next
               relationship.

Nickís had enough. He turns and walks away, leaving Kat
stunned.

EXT. FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - LATER

The party is over, the house lights low. Moonlight washes
over Nick as he carries his packed suitcase to his car. Ed
comes out of the house, jogs up to Nick.

                         NICK
               Iíll just check into a hotel.

                         ED
               Donít be ridiculous. Itís late and
               the place is empty. Just take my
               car.

Ed hands him a set of keys.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               I donít know whatís going on with
               you two, but Iím sure itíll work
               out. You couldnít be more perfect
               for her if she picked you out of a
               catalogue.

Nick smiles, wearily.

                         NICK
               Thanks, man.

Nick tosses his bag in back and gets in the car.

INT. SITTING ROOM - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

Kat stands at the window, her eyes puffy. She watches as
Nick drives away, then she turns around.

Her mom and dad wait in the darkened living room. Kat tries
to be strong, but then she goes to her father, burying
herself in his arms. Bunny hides a pang of disappointment as
she gently touches Katís head.

INT. KATíS ROOM - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - LATER

Kat straightens up her room. A KNOCK on the door and Amy
walks in.

                         AMY
               Hey.

                         KAT
               Hey.

Kat keeps cleaning up.

                         AMY
               I just wanted to say thank you.
               For not outing me in front of Ed.
               I want to tell him. Just not on
               the night before our wedding. With
               these kind of things, timing is
               everything.

Kat turns on her sister, sheís smiling.

                         KAT
               Youíre right. You should really
               time it right so when he hears that
               you repeatedly screwed his best
               friend, he doesnít feel like the
               world is collapsing around him and
               thereís no escape because you
               tricked him into marrying you.

Amy wasnít ready for Katís intensity, she backs towards the
door.

                         AMY
               You know what? Iím not having this
               conversation right now.

                         KAT
               Sure, disappear. Weíve been
               walking away our whole lives.

Amy turns around and faces Kat, willing to hear anything.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Iím not even going to discuss the
               fact that you screwed my fiancť
               because youíve always been a
               spoiled, amoral, little princess.

Amy looks horrified but Katís not backing down.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               But I put up with all of it because
               I really believed that deep down,
               you loved me and you were a good
               person. I really thought you
               deserved someone like Ed. God I
               envied you guys. Somehow, he made
               your selfish bullshit seem okay.
               Almost endearing.

Amy looks at Kat with tears in her eyes.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               And now I know. You didnít deserve
               any of it. You were just lucky.

Kat looks at her sister, sadly.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Donít worry, Amy. Your wedding
               will be perfect. Tomorrow, Iíll
               smile and say all the right things
               and youíll deal with Ed when youíre
               ready. But right now, tonight, I
               canít pretend itís okay.

Amy, stricken, exits. As she leaves, her shoulders start to
shake. She is crying. Katís reflex is to go to her, but she
stops herself. Itís too soon to forgive. She walks over and
closes the door.

INT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

Nick stands, alone in the darkened boathouse, speaking on his
cell phone.

                         NICK
               And thatís the first flight out?

He writes something down on a piece of paper.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               All right, thank you.

He hangs up and sits down on the edge of the bed. He looks
at the floor. At nothing.

INT. KATíS ROOM - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat lies in bed. She stares at the ceiling. At nothing.

                                                      CUT TO:

INT. KATíS ROOM - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - MORNING

Katís eyes flutter open. Sheís not refreshed and she doesnít
feel better. The only thing thatís changed is that itís
morning. Kat looks up at the ceiling.

                         KAT (O.S.)
               Iím okay.

CU ON KATíS FACE, STARING INTO CAMERA. SHE SEES NOTHING.

INT. HAIR DRESSER - DAY

Katís make-up is flawless and her hair is perfect but her
eyes are clouded with pain and sleeplessness.

                         BUNNY (O.S.)
               I donít believe you.

Bunny sits next to Kat in a barberís chair.

                         KAT
               No, Iím fine, really. Nothing a
               bottle of Jack and a straight razor
               canít fix.

Katís trying to be light, but her eyes are a dead giveaway.

Kat draws in a long breath, trying to summon some semblance
of joy.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Anyway, it doesnít matter. Todayís
               Amyís day.

She braves a glance at her motherís face. Bunnyís not
buying.

EXT. CAR PARK - HAIR DRESSER

Kat stands in the car park behind the salon, furtively
sucking on a cigarette as she pulls off an old nicotine
patch. Choking, she throws down the cigarette as the salon
door opens and Bunny steps out.

                         BUNNY
               Whatís going on with you two?

                         KAT
               I was pretty hard on her last
               night.
                    (welling up)
               And now sheís getting married.

                         BUNNY
               Thereís a reason I always tell that
               Tony Pee-Pants story, you know.

                         KAT
               Trust me. This is bigger than Tony
               Pee-Pants.

                         BUNNY
                    (pressing on)
               Before Tony, you and your sister
               were best friends. I couldnít
               split you up. If your sister ate
               the spinach, you ate the spinach.
               If you threw up--.

                         KAT
               Mom, please.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               Anyway, when that boy came over, it
               was the first time you ever did
               anything without her.
                    (beat)
               And Amy wasnít just jealous...she
               was sad and lonely. She missed
               you.

                         KAT
               She did?

                         BUNNY
               So she flirted with Tony, and you
               got mad and sent him away. Who did
               that leave?
                    (beat)
               You and Amy. Reunited.

Kat stands, stunned, as Bunny brushes her hand against Katís
cheek.

                         BUNNY (CONTíD)
               I wish I had known it would go by
               so fast.

Kat watches, full of emotion, as Bunny leaves with tears in
her eyes.

INT. CHURCH

A series of images as Wedding preparations transform the
austere church. A carpet is unrolled down the aisle. A
bouquet is affixed to a pew. Programs are laid out.

                                                      CUT TO:

A HAND ZIPPING UP A SUITCASE.

INT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Bag in hand, Nick locks up the boathouse and sets the keys on
top of the door frame.

EXT. FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Limos wait outside both Katís house and the house next door.

Bunny fusses with Amyís dress as they walk toward the car.

Victor and Kat follow, arm in arm.

ANGLE ON VICTOR AND KAT. Victor looks at Kat, who is trying
to be brave. Itís almost working.

INT. ANNEX - CHURCH

Amy nervously fusses with her dress when Kat walks in. Kat
stops when she sees her sister, glowing in a beam of dusty
light. It takes Katís breath away.

                         KAT
               Wow. You look beautiful.

                         AMY
               Yeah. Most important day of my
               life. Whatever. Listen, I chose
               you to be my Maid of Honor for a
               lot of reasons: I love you, youíre
               my favorite, and only, half-sister,
               blah blah blah. But the main
               reason I picked you is because
               youíve been so miserable for the
               past few years, I knew you wouldnít
               outshine me.
                    (beat)
               But here it is, my big day. My big
               day. And something doesnít feel
               right. Maybe it was that pep talk
               you gave me last night, I donít
               know, but your misery just isnít
               working for me anymore.

Amy tries to keep up her tough attitude but when she levels
her gaze at Kat, her eyes cloud with a regret deeper than we
thought her capable of.

                         AMY (CONTíD)
               It was a horrible thing I did to
               you. Iím really sorry.

Amy takes her sisterís hand. Then lets it drop.

                         AMY (CONTíD)
               I know you hate when I get what I
               want. But right now, all I want is
               for you to be happy.

ON KAT as this sinks in.

EXT. CHURCH

Kat pushes open the heavy church doors. Organ music floods
out as Kat surreptitiously looks up and down the street.

Victor appears behind her. Kat looks at her dad and forces a
smile. Victor knows sheís upset.

                         VICTOR
               So whyíd you let him go?

                         KAT
               Itís complicated, Dad.

                         VICTOR
                    (ironically)
               Oh, well, then. It probably wonít
               work out.

Victor stops and faces her, his voice full of meaning.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               I read a fascinating article in the
               New Yorker once and this guy said:
               ďEvery woman has the exact love
               life she wants.Ē You know what? I
               agree. And I refuse to believe
               that this is what you want.

Kat is overwhelmed but Victor continues.

                         VICTOR (CONTíD)
               Ever since you were a little kid,
               youíve been trying to please other
               people. And in return for your
               services, all theyíve done is
               disappoint you.
                    (beat)
               So tell me, is this the guy for
               you?

Kat thinks about this.

                         KAT
               Yeah.

                         VICTOR
               Then for once in your life, do
               something for yourself.

Kat looks at him gratefully and makes a silent decision.

INT. CAR [DRIVING]

Kat speeds down the road in her parentsí car. The empty boat
trailer clatters behind her.

INT. CHURCH

Amy watches through a crack in the door as the GUESTS take
their seats.

INT. ANNEX - CHURCH

Amy paces nervously. Ed knocks and enters, covering his eyes
so he doesnít see her dress.

                         ED
               Your mother said youíd like a quick
               word.

Amy takes Edís hands away from his eyes. From the look on
her face, Ed knows something is wrong.

INT. WOODS

Kat races through the woods, trying to keep her dress from
catching on the branches that whip at her on all sides.

INT. CHURCH

The Guests are all seated now, and the organ has begun its
mood music. In the atrium just outside the church, the
entire wedding party, minus Amy and Ed, is gathered, waiting.

EXT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat bursts into the clearing, her hair tousled, her dress
nightmarish. She tries to catch her breath as she looks up
to the porch of the boathouse. This is supposed to be the
part where she sees Nick and they live happily ever after.

INT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE

Kat desperately searches the rooms of the boathouse. By the
time she gets to the kitchen, she knows itís going to be
empty. She opens the door, anyway.

Nickís gone. On the kitchen table, a brown envelope. Kat
picks it up. Written on the front: KAT. She turns it over
to open it. On the back it reads: ďITíS ALL THERE, TRUST
ME.Ē Kat laughs at how well Nick knows her. Her eyes fill
with love.

INT./EXT. CAR [DRIVING]

Inside the car, Nickís face is stoic as he drives, his carryon
on the seat next to him.

INT. ANNEX - CHURCH

Amy faces Ed, her eyes red and puffy.

                         AMY
               I was too scared to tell you. I
               thought youíd never speak to me
               again. Iím so sorry.

Ed is reeling, he just stares at Amy, saying nothing. Amyís
finally doing her penance. The silence is killing her.

                         AMY (CONTíD)
               Say something. Please.

                         ED
               I knew you were still seeing
               someone else when we finally got
               together. I never in a million
               years would have dreamt it was
               Jeffrey.

Ed shakes his head, trying to understand.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               Does Kat know?

                         AMY
               Jeffrey told her last night.

                         ED
               Last night?

Ed winces, remembering, then lets out a growl.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               That worthless bastard!

Ed staggers towards the door.

INT. CHURCH

Ed slams the door on his way out of the annex. He charges up
the aisle, past the pews full of guests.

Guests MURMUR in surprise. Ed picks up speed. He's like a
heat-seeking missile that's found its mark:

JEFFREY, stands at the back, chatting up a DUMPY BRIDESMAID.

He turns just in time to see Ed running up the aisle. TJ
spots Ed, too.

Jeffreyís seen this movie before Ė- he knows heís about to
get his ass kicked.

Jeffrey drops everything and starts running. At that moment,
TJ grabs a FLOWER GIRL and uses the little girl to trip
Jeffrey. He falls, scrambles back up and keeps running.

EXT. STREET

Kat trudges up the church steps, her head down. Just then,
the door bursts open and Jeffrey flies out of the church and
races down the street. Moments later, Ed explodes from the
church and takes off after Jeffrey.

Kat watches them run down the street, confused, then goes
inside.

INT./EXT. CAR [DRIVING]

Nickís staring straight ahead when something

STREAKS PAST HIS WINDOW.

Nick thinks heís seeing things, looks in the rear-view mirror
to investigate. Just then, ANOTHER FORM STREAKS PAST.

Nick looks out the back window and sees Ed chasing Jeffrey
down the street. Nick shakes his head, but keeps driving.

This family is not his problem anymore.

Nick wills his eyes to stay on the road, but then he canít
help it. He looks into the rear-view mirror again.

Almost despite himself, Nick throws the car into a U-turn.

He catches up and pulls alongside Ed, whoís still chasing
Jeffrey.

                         NICK
               Hey.

Ed looks over at Nick, but keeps running, his tuxedo
flailing. Nick keeps pace.

                         ED
                    (winded)
               I look like a total wanker, donít
               I?

                         NICK
               Yeah, kind of.

Ed keeps running.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Only way to beat that guy is to
               take yourself out of the game.

Ed finally stops running. Wheezing, he bends over to catch
his breath. Nick pulls over.

INT. ANNEX - CHURCH

Back inside, Amy nervously awaits her fate. Kat enters. She
wants to hug Amy, but offers her a tissue instead. Amy takes
it gratefully.

INT./EXT. CAR Ė LATER

Nick and Ed pull up to the church. Nick turns off the car.

Neither one of them gets out.

                         ED
               You heading to the train station?

                         NICK
               I figured you could pick up your
               car tomorrow.

                         ED
               Yeah.

They sit in silence, the church looming in front of them.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               I felt sorry for you last night. I
               was sitting there like some smug
               arse thinking how lucky I am.

Edís clearly struggling. Nick lets him talk.

                         ED (CONTíD)
               I forgave her when I thought it was
               just some bloke. Bugger it. Why
               Jeffrey?
                    (beat)
               Iíve had her up on a pedestal ever
               since...since the day I put her up
               there. Itís going to take a long
               time for me to get over this.

Nick tries to find the right words of encouragement.

Finally, he takes his best shot.

                         NICK
               Think about it this way: you get
               to spend the rest of your life
               having make-up sex.

Ed thinks on this a moment. Then he turns to Nick.

                         ED
               Listen, mate, are you coming to
               this wedding or not?

EXT. CHURCH

Kat pushes open the heavy doors to take one last look. She
steps outside and the door closes, revealing--

NICK, now dressed in his tux. He smiles at her.

                         NICK
               Hi.

                         KAT
               Hi.

They take each other in.

                         NICK
               When we were fighting last night,
               it hit me. No one had ever cared
               about me as much as you cared about
               Jeffrey. Thatís why I was so
               angry. Iím sorry I took it out on
               you -- I didnít mean to hurt you.
                    (beat)
               And then, I was going to get out of
               here and leave you alone, but
               halfway to the station, I realized--

From inside, the WEDDING MARCH begins to play. Nick takes
her face in his hands.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Iíd rather fight with you than make
               love to anyone else.

Kat is speechless. Nick leans down and kisses her like heís
going to keep on kissing her forever. But then, he breaks
away.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               I should go.

                         KAT
               What?! No, no. You canít--

                         NICK
               I have to.
                    (he smiles)
               Iím the best man.

INT. HALLWAY - CHURCH

Nick and Kat stand in a dark doorway, facing the closed door.

They share a secret smile in the dark.

Just then, the USHER opens the door and Nick leads Kat down
the aisle. As they walk, they exchange sidelong glances.

Both are as nervous and excited as school kids.

Behind them, Victor and Amy beam as they await their turn.

Nick leans over and whispers in her ear.

INT. CHURCH Ė LATER

In the background, Amy and Ed stand at the altar. They hold
hands tightly, grateful to have lost and found each other.

Nick and Kat peek across at each other. They both smile.

                         KAT (O.S.)
               ďToday is a day for love and for
               beauty. But most of all, it's a
               day for truth.Ē

INT. TENT - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - AFTERNOON

Kat speaks into a microphone, trying to deliver her speech.

All around her, she sees faces: Mom, Dad, Amy, Ed, TJ. Kat
looks down at a crumpled scrap of paper.

                         KAT
               Iíve been working on this speech
               since these two got engaged. It
               was supposed to be touching and
               funny.

Kat looks at Nick. He doesnít have to do anything. He just
is support.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               I thought Iíd come back to England
               and have an epiphany. Iíd see Amy
               and the perfect thing would pop
               into my head and it would
               encapsulate how and why I love my
               sister. But I came home and
               everything was a mess and the truth
               and beauty line was all I could
               come up with.
                    (beat)
               And I think I stole that from the
               back of an in-flight magazine.

The GUESTS laugh. Kat looks at her mom.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               A wonderful woman once said about
               Amy: ďItís not that I love her
               more, itís that she lets me love
               her.Ē

Kat raises her glass in a toast.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
                    (to Ed and Amy)
               It can be the scariest thing in the
               world to let someone love you and
               to know how to love them back.
               Take good care of each other. I
               love you both.

Everyone clinks glasses. A few people sniffle or kiss their
dates. Kat and Amy hold each otherís gaze. Nearby, Bunny
watches her little girls with tears in her eyes.

INT. TENT - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - DUSK

The STAFF has already started packing up. Edís Father
whispers something to the BANDLEADER and pulls his wife out
on the dance floor. He spins her around as ďMa Vie en RoseĒ

begins to play. She smiles, happily, as they dance.

Ed tries to keep a very drunk Amy away from the present
table. Slouching on the piano, TJ makes out with her date,
Woody, the bartender.

The CAMERA FINDS Kat and Nick on the dance floor.

                         NICK
               Nice speech. I thought it was
               ďtouchingĒ... and ďfunny.Ē

                         KAT
               Thank you.

Nick gracefully spins Kat around; they really do dance
beautifully together.

                         KAT (CONTíD)
               Since Iíve generously agreed to go
               out with you, I think itís only
               fair that you tell me how you got
               into the business?

Kat smiles mischievously. Nick pulls her close. Heís
finally going to tell her.

                         NICK
               You know why I never tell the real
               story of how I got into this?

Kat shakes her head, "no." Nick swings her around in an
elaborate dip and kisses her on the neck.

                         NICK (CONTíD)
               Because itís boring.
                    (Kat laughs)
               Now if you want to hear a good
               story, let me tell you the one
               about how I got out of it.

Kat and Nick smile at each other as their dancing grows more
effortless. In the background, Ed tugs a half-opened present
out of Amyís hands and puts it back on the table. She jumps
up on his back and he happily carts her off to the loo.

                                                      CUT TO:

A HAND COUNTING MONEY IN THE BROWN ENVELOPE.

EXT. BOATHOUSE - FLETCHER-WOOTEN ESTATE - SAME

A WORKER finishes counting the money, closes the envelope,
and tucks it in his pocket.

The CAMERA PULLS BACK as he walks over to TWO OTHER WORKERS,
who are scraping paint off a hoisted-up ďJACK SHIP.Ē

As the first star appears in the night sky, the music swells
and we slowly make out the sounds of the greatest make-up sex
of all time, echoing in the distance.

FADE TO BLACK.