PLATINUM BLONDE

                     Story by Harry E. Chandlee and Douglas W. Churchill

                               Adaptation by Jo Swerling

                               Dialogue by Robert  Riskin




















                                                       Shooting Draft, 1931

               Property of
               Columbia Pictures




               FADE IN:

               INT. CITY ROOM OF NEWSPAPER OFFICE - DAY - FULL SHOT

               General atmosphere, typical of a busy newspaper office. 
               Copy boys running about, shirt-sleeved reporters and rewrite 
               men pounding away on typewriters. Little wire baskets 
               containing cylinders of copy whizzing back and forth, such 
               as are used in some department stores, etc.

               SOUND

               Morkrum machines, typewriters, telephone bells and all 
               other sounds relative to a newspaper office when shot has 
               been fully established:

               CAMERA STARTS TRUCKING DOWN MAIN AISLE

               It takes in the battery of Morkrum machines clattering 
               away; the crescent-shaped copy desk; the desk of the 
               sporting editor, with a big cauliflower-eared pugilist and 
               his manager standing by the side of the sporting editor, a 
               hefty guy in his shirtsleeves, smoking a big cigar and 
               wearing a green eye-shade; the desk of the society editor, 
               a prissy old lady, who takes down a worn copy of the Blue 
               Book as the camera passes her and starts looking up some 
               data; and any other interesting or typical bits that can 
               be thought out. At the far end of the room is the desk of 
               Conroy, the City Editor.

               Everything shows evidence of feverish activity and great 
               haste.

               2. CLOSE SHOT

               On Conroy, the City Editor at his desk, speaking on the 
               telephone.

                                     CONROY
                         Yeah, that's all I ever get from 
                         you guys - a lot of hard luck 
                         stories. You come back here and 
                         I'll give you an assignment. It 
                         will be a last interview - with 
                         the cashier!

               He hangs up, looks around with a scowl.

               Stew! Stew Smith!

                                     REPORTER
                         Oh Mr. Conroy, give me a crack at 
                         that Schuyler story, will you?

                                     CONROY
                         You?  If you ever got your foot 
                         into a drawing room, you'd step on 
                         a sliding rug!  Stew is the only 
                         man that's got brains enough to 
                         handle this. Scram!

               A Copy Boy rushes by on an errand.

                                     CONROY
                         Say Spud, did you find Stew?

                                     COPY BOY
                         Not yet.

                                     CONROY
                         Well, did you look in the—

                                     COPY BOY
                         First place I looked.

                                     CONROY
                         Not there, eh? For cryin' out loud, 
                         where is that—? Go and dig him up! 
                         Stew! Stew Smith!

               CAMERA TRUCKS ON:

               Until it takes in a sort of make-shift screen, concealing 
               a corner of the room.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               3. CLOSE SHOT

               On the other side of the screen. Stew Smith is holding 
               something in his hand. His hat tilted back on his head, 
               and he is regarding this plaything intently. Gallagher is 
               sitting close to him, also gazing intently at the plaything. 
               Gallagher is a girl, one of the sob sisters[2] on the 
               newspaper, dressed in a trim but inexpensive little tailored 
               suit.

                                     STEW
                         Here it is. Pray for me, Gallagher. 
                         Pray for me. Hold everything . . .

               4. CLOSE SHOT

               On the object in his hand, one of those hand-puzzles where 
               you have to land jumping beans in the holes.

               5. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Stew, your hands are shaking. You've 
                         been drinking again.

                                     STEW
                         Come on, come on. Here they come, 
                         Gallagher! Here they come!

               Conroy's shouts are heard in the background.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (conspiratorially)
                         The boss is getting hoarse.

                                     STEW
                         There's the third one. If I don't 
                         get the last one, there's a certain 
                         sob sister I know that's going to 
                         get a kick right in the . . . oh! 
                         Whoops, almost had that.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               Conroy, the City Editor at his desk, looking about with a 
               scowl for Stew.

                                     CONROY
                              (bellowing)
                         Stew! Stew Smith!

               The Copy Boy races over to whisper something to Conroy.

                                     CONROY
                         What? The screen?

                                     7. CLOSE SHOT
                         On Stew Smith

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher! I made it!

               8. MEDIUM SHOT (FROM CONROY'S ANGLE)

               The screen, concealing the washbasin corner.

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 6

               A wrathy Conroy, his eyes centering suspiciously on 
               something. With his eyes on the screen, Conroy reaches out 
               and grasps a heavy telephone book on the corner of his 
               desk. Still looking off, he heaves it forcefully.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               Showing the screen. The telephone book crashes into it, 
               overturning it and revealing Stew and Gallagher on the 
               other side. They both look up, startled. The newsroom erupts 
               in laughter.

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 6

               Conroy, glaring off fiercely.

                                     CONROY
                         Come over here!

               10. MEDIUM SHOT

               Conroy at his desk. Stew saunters into the scene.

                                     STEW
                         Look, I quit!

                                     CONROY
                         Yeah?

                                     STEW
                         Yeah.

                                     CONROY
                         Yeah?

                                     STEW
                         You're always picking on me. It 
                         took me three hours to get those 
                         little gadgets in those holes, and 
                         you screw it up in a minute. Hey, 
                         look!

               He gives the hand-puzzle to Conroy, who is immediately 
               captivated by the fascinating object in his hand.

               CLOSE DOUBLE SHOT

                                     STEW
                              (superior)
                         Mmm, not as easy as it looks, is 
                         it?

               Conroy puts it down with a disgusted look.

                                     CONROY
                         Aagh! No wonder you're batty. Would 
                         it be imposing too much upon you 
                         if I asked you to do a little work 
                         today? Just to sort of break the 
                         monotony?

                                     STEW
                         With me you can always do business.

                                     CONROY
                         Do you know what to do in a drawing-
                         room?

                                     STEW
                         It isn't a question of knowing 
                         what to do, it's knowing how to 
                         get in one that counts.

               The telephone rings, Conroy answers it.

                                     CONROY
                              (speaking on the 
                              phone)
                         Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

               He hangs up, turns back to Stew.

                                     CONROY
                         Now listen, we've got a tip that 
                         the Schuyler family has finally 
                         made a deal with that chorus dame.

                                     STEW
                         Gloria Golden?

                                     CONROY
                         Yeah, little Gloria.

                                     STEW
                         The human cash register. Got her 
                         hooks into the Schuyler kid, eh?

                                     CONROY
                         Right - for the first time this 
                         year.

                                     STEW
                              (modestly)
                         Well - it's only April.

                                     CONROY
                         Come on, get going, get going!

                                     STEW
                              (loftily)
                         Get going where? I can write that 
                         yarn without stepping out of the 
                         office.

                                     CONROY
                         Yeah - and get us into a million 
                         dollar libel suit. It wouldn't be 
                         the first time. Now, you get over 
                         there and get a statement out of 
                         the old lady, the sister, or the 
                         kid. Any of them - but get it.

                                     STEW
                              (resigned)
                         All right. Give me a voucher for 
                         expenses.

               12. CLOSE DOUBLE SHOT (ANOTHER ANGLE)

                                     CONROY
                         What expenses? All you need is 
                         carfare to Long Island. You'd better 
                         get a shave and a shine, because 
                         you, you're going to have a tough 
                         time getting in there as it is.

                                     STEW
                         I know those bluenoses. Their 
                         ancestors refused to come over on 
                         the Mayflower because they didn't 
                         want to rub elbows with the 
                         tourists. So they swam over.

               He turns away and exits.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               EXT. THE SCHUYLER HOUSE - DAY - MEDIUM SHOT

               Someone pacing outside the mansion gates.

               EXT. THE SCHUYLER HOUSE (ANOTHER ANGLE) - DAY - CLOSE SHOT

               A guard dog pacing inside the gates.

               INT. INSIDE THE MANSION - DAY - CLOSE SHOT

               A parrot on its perch, hopping from foot to foot.

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM - DAY - CLOSE SHOT

               Michael Schuyler, a callow youth with the usual dissipated, 
               spoiled look. His fingers are nipping out little chunks of 
               a folded piece of paper, dropping the bits on the floor. 
               This is indicative of a habit of the individual in question 
               when undergoing nervous stress. He is very fidgety and 
               apprehensive, as he glances around.

               CAMERA PANS OVER TO SHOW

               Anne Schuyler, a beautiful and aristocratic, though slightly 
               hard girl, a few years older than Michael.

               CAMERA PANS OVER TO SHOW

               Mrs. Stuyvesand Van Alstyne Schuyler, mother of Anne and 
               Michael. A grande dame, stern and glowering. Her attitude 
               indicates suppressed nervousness and anger. She glares 
               over in the direction of Michael. Then she turns and looks 
               in another direction.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (viciously)
                         Dexter Grayson, if you were any 
                         kind of a lawyer, you'd get those 
                         letters back!

               CAMERA PANS OVER TO SHOW

               Dexter Grayson, the family lawyer standing, his hands 
               clasped behind his back, just completing the pacing of a 
               few short steps in his best courtroom manner, his head 
               bowed in an attitude of deepest thought. He is dressed in 
               striped afternoon trousers and black coat. He turns to 
               regard Mrs. Schuyler.

                                     GRAYSON
                         But I keep telling you how difficult 
                         it is, Mrs. Schuyler. The last 
                         time I asked her for those letters, 
                         she made very uncouth noises with 
                         her mouth.

               CAMERA PANS OVER TO SHOW

               Anne Schuyler, trying desperately to keep from laughing.

               CAMERA DRAWS BACK

               To reveal a full shot of the room and group. They are in 
               the magnificent drawing room of the Schuyler home, 
               resembling the Union Depot and furnished with almost 
               imperial splendor and magnificence. They very much resemble 
               a jury in session. As they continue:

                                     MICHAEL
                         I don't know why you're making all 
                         this fuss. I only sent her six of 
                         them.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (sarcastic)
                         If you had to make a fool of 
                         yourself, why didn't you tell it 
                         to her instead of writing?

                                     MICHAEL
                         Because I couldn't get her on the 
                         phone.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Imbecile!

                                     ANNE
                         You should have known better than 
                         to write, Romeo. I found that out 
                         a long time ago.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         I should say you had. At the rate 
                         you two are going, we'll have to 
                         leave the country to save our faces.

                                     ANNE
                         Splendid, Mother. Let's hop over 
                         to Monte Carlo. It's a great place 
                         to save a face.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Oh, shut up!

               A butler appears in the doorway. He is about to say 
               something, but he stammers and turns.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (stopping him)
                         What is it, Smythe?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Pardon me, madam - but what am I 
                         to say to the newspapermen?

               Mrs. Schuyler looks distractedly at Grayson.

               17. CLOSER SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler and Grayson. She rises and speaks imperiously:

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Dexter, go out and tell those 
                         ruffians I have nothing to say.

               Grayson faces her placatingly.

                                     GRAYSON
                         You can't do that. Leave it to me. 
                         I know how to handle reporters.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (with a shudder)
                         All right, then - get it over with.

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               Grayson turns officiously toward the waiting butler.

                                     GRAYSON
                         We've decided to see the reporters. 
                         Send in the man from the Tribune 
                         first.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Very good, sir.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Oh, Smythe, some bicarbonate of 
                         soda, quick - double strength. I 
                         know those news mongrels[3] will 
                         upset me.

                                     SMYTHE
                         I've anticipated it, madame. The 
                         bicarbonate is ready.

               The butler exits.

               INT. SCHUYLER LIBRARY - DAY - FULL SHOT

               This room resembles the Grand Central Station. It is lined 
               with bookcases filled with gorgeous first editions and 
               special bindings, and is furnished in the extreme of 
               magnificence and luxury.

               Present are Stew and Bingy, reporter from the Tribune. 
               Stew is seated, idly leafing through a first edition.

               Bingy, still with his hat on, spots an expensive music box 
               on a nearby table, opens it and does a little jig to the 
               tune that is emitted.

               20. CLOSER SHOT

               Bingy, as he lingers at the table. He is a lazy, sloppy-
               looking guy.  His face needs a shave and his pants need 
               pressing. There is a spot of dried ketchup on his tie. On 
               the table is a humidor. Bingy opens it and lifts out a 
               handful of cigars.

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               As he looks up from the book, he suggests:

                                     STEW
                         Hey Bingy, you'll find the 
                         silverware in the dining room.

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 20

               Bingy turns, putting the cigars in his pocket.

                                     BINGY
                         Much obliged.

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               Smythe enters.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (frigidly)
                         Mr. Grayson has decided to see 
                         you.

               Both Stew and Bingy start forward eagerly. Smythe continues:

                                     SMYTHE
                         The gentleman from the Tribune, 
                         first.

               CLOSER THREE SHOT

               Bingy beams broadly and Stew is disappointed.

                                     STEW
                         There are no gentlemen on the 
                         Tribune.

                                     SMYTHE
                         I understand, sir.

               Smythe leads the way out. As Bingy passes by, Stew trips 
               him.

                                     BINGY
                         Say, take it easy! Take it easy! 
                         Listen, my boy. No use you hanging 
                         around here. Just buy the Tribune 
                         tonight and read all about it. You 
                         can rewrite it for your last 
                         edition.

                                     STEW
                         Couldn't make the last edition. 
                         It'd take me four hours to translate 
                         your story into English.

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, is that so?

                                     STEW
                         I'm afraid.

               Bingy turns to leave.

                                     STEW
                         Take off your hat. You might make 
                         an impression.

               Bingy dutifully doffs his hat.

                                     STEW
                         Impossible. Put it on again.

                                     BINGY
                         Hey, make up your mind, will you?

               Bingy hurriedly puts his hat back on as he disappears.

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM - DAY - MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               By the door which leads out into the hall. The butler enters 
               and stops, standing stiffly. Bingy enters behind him, 
               shambling awkwardly. He stops in some consternation as he 
               sees:

               25. MEDIUM SHOT (FROM HIS ANGLE)

               The Schuyler jury. Grayson, Mrs. Schuyler, Anne and Michael, 
               all surveying him in varying degrees of unfriendliness.

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 24

               Bingy hesitates uneasily as he regards this impressive 
               assemblage. Quickly, he takes his hat back off. Then he 
               smiles nervously and starts forward.

                                     BINGY
                         Hi, folks!

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 25

               Grayson comes forward to meet him, attempting to be very 
               cordial. Bingy is seized by a sudden impulse to sneeze. He 
               does so, violently.  There is awkward silence. Mrs. Schuyler 
               throws off a visible shudder.

                                     BINGY
                         What's the matter? Isn't there a 
                         'bless you' in the crowd?

                                     GRAYSON
                         You're the Tribune man?

                                     BINGY
                         Yeah, hello. How are you?

               Bingy extends his hand. Grayson pointedly ignores it.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (cordially)
                         Fine. Have a seat.

                                     BINGY
                         Thanks, I will.

               Bingy crosses the room, taking note of the beauteous Anne.

                                     GRAYSON
                         This way.

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, man!

               Bingy sits gingerly on the edge of a handsome chair.

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, boy!

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               Bingy and Grayson. Grayson picks up a very flossy and 
               expensive cigarette box from the small end table beside 
               the chair. It is made of gold and semi-precious stones are 
               inset in the cover. Grayson opens the lid and takes out a 
               cigarette, but pointedly does not offer one to Bingy.

               Grayson remains standing before the reporter, who is very 
               uncomfortable and ill at ease.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Fine newspaper the Tribune.

                                     BINGY
                         Well, I should say!

                                     GRAYSON
                         I knew your managing editor very 
                         well.

                                     BINGY
                         Is that so?

                                     GRAYSON
                         Yale '21, I believe.

                                     BINGY
                              (uncomprehending)
                         Huh?

                                     GRAYSON
                         We were classmates.

               CLOSE SHOT - MRS. SCHUYLER

               She clears her throat menacingly, as she looks sternly at 
               Grayson.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Ahem!

                                     BINGY
                         What's the matter? She got a cold?

               CONTINUATION, SCENE 26

               Bingy and Grayson. Both look over. Grayson gives her a 
               quick reassuring glance, as though to say "leave it to me 
               now." He continues his conversation with the reporter.

                                     GRAYSON
                         I got him his job on the paper. 
                         I'm a stock-holder, you know.

                                     BINGY
                         Is that so?

                                     GRAYSON
                         As one Tribune man to another—

               He laughs.

                                     BINGY
                              (laughs)
                         Yeah!

                                     GRAYSON
                         But right now I'm acting in the 
                         capacity of Mrs. Schuyler's 
                         attorney.

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, that's all right with me. I 
                         won't hold it against you. But you 
                         see, I'm here to find out about—

                                     GRAYSON
                         I know, I know. But there's no 
                         truth in the story whatsoever.

                                     BINGY
                         Oh yeah?

               28. MEDIUM SHOT

               Grayson and Bingy. He takes Bingy by the arm and leads him 
               over to a corner of the room, assuming a confidential pose.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (speaking as they 
                              walk)
                         However, I've taken the trouble to 
                         prepare a little statement. Here 
                         it is. Here.

               CLOSER TWO SHOT

               Grayson and Bingy. Grayson takes an envelope out of his 
               pocket and hands it to Bingy. Bingy opens the flap and 
               sees the contents.

               INSERT: ENVELOPE

               The corner of a fifty dollar bill protrudes.

               BACK TO SCENE:

               Bingy quickly shuts the envelope up. Grayson is watching 
               him closely.

                                     GRAYSON
                         So, you see how silly that rumor 
                         is?

                                     BINGY
                         Why, sure. It's a lotta hooey.

                                     GRAYSON
                         That's what I wanted to say, but I 
                         couldn't think of it.

               Grayson starts leading him toward the door. CAMERA PANS 
               WITH THEM as Grayson leads him toward the door, talking as 
               they walk.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Thank you very much.

                                     BINGY
                         All right, all right, don't mention 
                         it.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Give my regards to your managing 
                         editor.

                                     BINGY
                         I certainly will.

               They stop at the door. Bingy extends a handshake, which is 
               again refused. He stops and looks back at the jury.

               MEDIUM SHOT FROM HIS ANGLE

               The Schuylers all sitting silently and contemplating him.

                                     BINGY
                         Well, so long folks!

               He flutters his eyes at Anne.

                                     BINGY
                         Thanks!

               He takes one last look at Mrs. Schuyler and is again gripped 
               by a violent sneeze.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (rising to the 
                              occasion)
                         Uh, bless you!

                                     ALL
                         Bless you!

                                     BINGY
                         Thanks.

               The butler appears in the doorway behind him. Bingy exits 
               past him, beaming.

                                     BINGY
                              (waving to butler)
                         So long!

               Grayson nods to the butler.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Smythe, bring in the other reporter.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, sir.

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM - MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               The group awaiting the advent of the Post reporter. Stew 
               is shown in by the butler, still carrying the Conrad book 
               in his hand. They give him the once-over. Mrs. Schuyler 
               raises her lorgnette with a magnificent gesture. Stew eyes 
               them with animation, not in the slightest discouraged by 
               this supercilious scrutiny. He starts toward them.

               32. MEDIUM SHOT

               As Stew approaches them.

                                     STEW
                         Schuyler's the name, I presume?  
                         Yes, thank you, thank you. My name's 
                         Smith - Stewart Smith. No relation 
                         to John, Joe, Trade or Mark. Of 
                         course you can't have everything.

               He smiles engagingly on them. Stew addresses Mrs. Schuyler 
               ingratiatingly, disregarding her expression of obvious 
               distaste.

                                     STEW
                         Nice set of Conrads you have out 
                         there, Mrs. Schuyler. I was just 
                         glancing through this one.
                              (indicates the book 
                              in his hand)
                         What's Michael tearing the paper 
                         about?

                                     GRAYSON
                         Just a habit. Mr. Schuyler is a 
                         bit put out by all the rumors going 
                         around.

               33. CLOSER SHOT - STEW AND GRAYSON

                                     STEW
                         Rumors? Rumors? Since when is a 
                         breach-of-promise case a rumor?

                                     GRAYSON
                         No breach-of-promise case has been 
                         filed. The matter has been settled 
                         out of court.

                                     STEW
                              (very cagey)
                         Oh I see, but Gloria doesn't seem 
                         to be satisfied with the twenty 
                         thousand dollars.

               MEDIUM SHOT OF GROUP

               At this, Mrs. Schuyler rises wrathfully.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (furiously to Grayson)
                         Dexter Grayson, you told me it was 
                         only ten thousand—and you didn't 
                         even get those letters from that 
                         Jezebel!

                                     STEW
                         Oh, so you did give her ten thousand 
                         dollars, eh? and there are 
                         letters...

               Behind Stew's back, Grayson makes violent gestures for her 
               to shut up.

                                     STEW
                         Well, well. That takes it out of 
                         the rumor class, doesn't it?

                                     GRAYSON
                         We admit nothing. However, I have 
                         a little statement all prepared.

               He takes Stew's arm and walks him off toward a corner much 
               in the same manner as he handled Bingy, and lowers his 
               voice confidentially.

               35. CLOSER SHOT - STEW AND GRAYSON

               Apart from the others.

                                     STEW
                         A statement? Good.

                                     GRAYSON
                         I have it here.

                                     STEW
                         Good.

               Grayson takes an envelope out of his pocket and hands it 
               to Stew. Stew puts the book under his arm, takes the 
               envelope and extracts the contents. It is another greenback.

                                     STEW
                              (with interest)
                         Fifty bucks, eh?

               He regards it a moment, then replaces the bill in the 
               envelope. His voice is matter-of-fact, and almost casual.

                                     STEW
                         Don't you know you should never 
                         offer a newspaper man more than 
                         two dollars?  If you do, he'll 
                         think it's counterfeit. I don't 
                         need fifty dollars. As a matter of 
                         fact, I've got fifty dollars.

               Grayson is considerably disconcerted. He tries again.

                                     GRAYSON
                         The man from the Tribune seemed 
                         perfectly satisfied.

                                     STEW
                         Who, Bingy? Yeah, Bingy would. He 
                         never saw fifty dollars before. 
                         You could have bought him for six 
                         bits. Funny thing about Bingy. The 
                         more he gets - the more he prints. 
                         He looks stupid, doesn't he? But 
                         oh how smart he gets when he bends 
                         over a typewriter.

               He hands the envelope back to Grayson and turns away.

               36. MEDIUM SHOT

               Schuyler group - taking his action with dismay. Stew starts 
               walking back toward them, talking as he walks, Grayson 
               beside him, considerably distracted.

                                     STEW
                         So ten grand was the amount you 
                         gave the girl? Any other statement 
                         you folks would like to make?

               There is an explosive chorus from the group.

                                     GROUP
                              (ad-lib talking at 
                              the same time)
                         That's not so!

               We have nothing more to say!

               We'll make no statements.

               He turns to them, holding up his hand and speaking 
               plaintively.

                                     STEW
                         Wait a minute. Don't get excited. 
                         I wouldn't worry about it. A little 
                         publicity never hurt anybody.

               CLOSE SHOT - MRS. SCHUYLER

               She is on the point of an apopletic stroke. She advances 
               menacingly toward Stew. She calls to Grayson.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (shrieking at him)
                         Dexter, have this person leave 
                         immediately.

               MEDIUM SHOT - THE GROUP

               Stew is not at all perturbed. Dexter takes him by the arm 
               and starts to lead him out.

                                     GRAYSON
                         I think you'd better go.

                                     STEW
                         Go?! Wait a minute - that's a great 
                         story! Newspaper reporter was 
                         forcibly ejected from Schuyler 
                         Mansion, and—

               Anne comes up to him.

                                     ANNE
                         Wait a minute—

               He faces her and cannot help but register an appreciation 
               of her beauty.

                                     ANNE
                         Don't mind Mother.

                                     STEW
                              (cheerfully)
                         I don't mind her if you don't.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 37

               Mrs. Schuyler, almost choking in her wrath at this 
               outrageous stranger.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Anne!

               CLOSE SHOT - ANNE AND STEW

               Anne stifles a smile at this cheerful insolence.

                                     ANNE
                         I'm sure you're quite willing to 
                         be decent about this.

                                     STEW
                         Decent? Why Miss Schuyler, I want 
                         to be noble.

               Anne continues in her most devastating manner.

                                     ANNE
                         You're not going to print this 
                         silly thing, are you?

                                     STEW
                              (noncomittally)
                         No? Why not?

               She puts her hand lightly on his arm.

                                     ANNE
                         Because my name's Schuyler too. 
                         And I haven't done a thing, but 
                         I'll suffer with Michael. And so 
                         will Mother.

               CLOSEUP - STEW

               He has been listening to this and enjoying it immensely. 
               He looks over at Mrs. Schuyler.

               41. REVERSE ANGLE ON MRS. SCHUYLER

               Who is making a show of holding back a flood of tears.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 40

                                     STEW
                         Mother's suffering already!

                                     CONTINUATION SCENE 39
                         Anne, not wanting to lose her point, 
                         looks up at Stew pleadingly.

                                     ANNE
                         As a special favor to me, you won't 
                         print that story, will you?

               CONTINUATION SCENE 40

               Stew, looking down at her in frank approval and admiration.

                                     ANNE
                              (pleading)
                         Please—

               Stew hesitates still.

               42. MEDIUM SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler, Michael, and Grayson. All watching the couple 
               intently, hanging on the next words—wondering if Anne is 
               going to succeed. They are tense and expectant.

               CLOSE SHOT - ANNE AND STEW

               He is looking down into her soft, melting eyes. Then he 
               smiles.

                                     STEW
                         You know something, lady, if you 
                         sold life insurance, I'd go for a 
                         policy in sixty seconds.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, thank you, I knew you'd 
                         understand.

                                     CONTINUATION SCENE 42
                         The three. They relax and exchange 
                         relieved and triumphant glances. 
                         Apparently Anne has won.

               MEDIUM SHOT - ENTIRE GROUP

               Stew turns aside.

                                     STEW
                         May I use your telephone?

                                     ANNE
                              (eagerly)
                         Certainly. Right over there.

                                     STEW
                         You're all right.

               She indicates. Stew starts for the telephone. Anne walks 
               to her mother's side. Stew gets to the telephone and picks 
               up the receiver.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Beekman 1300?
                              (he turns to wink 
                              at the group)
                         That's an unlucky number. You know 
                         that, don't you?

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               At the telephone. He turns back to the instrument as he 
               gets his connection.

                                     STEW
                              (into phone)
                         Hello, Toots? Is Conroy there?  
                         Give me Conroy.
                              (pause)
                         He isn't? Try the washroom, will 
                         you?

               While he waits for the connection, he turns and addresses 
               the group expansively.

                                     STEW
                         Say, I interviewed a swell guy the 
                         other day - Einstein. Swell guy, a 
                         little eccentric, but swell. Doesn't 
                         wear any garters. Neither do I as 
                         a matter of fact. What good are 
                         garters anyway—?
                              (he turns back to 
                              the phone)
                         Hello, Conroy? This is Smith 
                         talking. I'm up at the Schuylers. 
                         No, I'm not having tea - that is, 
                         not yet.
                              (again, he winks 
                              expansively at the 
                              group—then returns 
                              to Conroy)
                         Is she beautiful? Oh boss, her 
                         pictures don't do her justice. If 
                         I was that guy Ziegfield - what?

               46. CLOSE SHOT - ANNE AND MRS. SCHUYLER

               Anne smiles in spite of herself at this flattery. Stew's 
               voice goes on.

                                     STEW'S VOICE
                         Yes, it's easy to see where her 
                         beauty comes from. From her mother.

               For the first time, Mrs. Schuyler unbends to the extent of 
               giving forth a smile. She cannot help but be pleased at 
               this compliment. The atmosphere is now very friendly. 
               Everybody feels that everything is all right.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 45

               Stew at the phone

                                     STEW
                         Now wait a minute. Just hold on. 
                         Keep your shirt on. I'm coming to 
                         that. The Schuylers admit the story 
                         is true. Right. They gave the gal 
                         ten thousand bucks. But she's got 
                         some letters - and she's holding 
                         out for more dough - and it looks 
                         to me like she's going to get it.

               47. MEDIUM SHOT - SCHUYLER GROUP

               Horrified and shocked at this betrayal and double-crossing.

                                     STEW
                              (on the 
                              phone—breezily)
                         Right boss. I'll be right over. 
                         Right - no, I don't think I can 
                         get any pictures now. Right.

               He casually hangs up and turns from the phone.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (involuntary gasp)
                         Oh-h-h . . .!

               Anne confronts him as if he were a reptile of the lowest 
               order.

                                     ANNE
                              (voice cold as ice)
                         I've met some rotters in my time, 
                         but without a doubt, you're the 
                         lowest excuse for a man I've ever 
                         had the misfortune to meet—

               Stew starts walking toward the door, still holding his 
               book. The family is tremendously indignant and agitated.

               Stew stops, turns, looks at them. He is met by icy glares. 
               He indignantly takes a nickel out of his pocket and hands 
               it to Grayson.

                                     STEW
                              (with dignity)
                         Well, if you feel that way about 
                         it, here's a nickel for the phone 
                         call.

               He glares at them—turns and walks out.

               They watch him walk out, stunned and open-mouthed.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN: 

               DAY

               INSERT: Dingy board sign outside a building.

               JOE'S

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INSERT: Three column heading in newspaper:

               SCHUYLER HEIR SETTLES BREACH OF PROMISE SUIT FOR $10,000.

               Gloria Golden, Follies Beauty, Retains Love Letters.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. JOE'S SPEAKEASY - DAY

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               A reasonably respectable speakeasy, smoke-filled. Quite a 
               number of men and a few women are leaning on the bar and 
               seated around at the tables. Stew and Gallagher are seated 
               at one of the rude round tables, smoking, drinks before 
               them. Gallagher is reading the newspaper story.

               49. CLOSE SHOT - STEW AND GALLAGHER

               She is grinning at the story.

                                     STEW
                         —and she walked up to me and put 
                         her hand on my shoulder and said,
                              (mimicking Anne)
                         'Mr. Smith, You wouldn't print 
                         that story, would you?' Oh no, I 
                         wouldn't print it - read it!

               CLOSE SHOT - GALLAGHER

               Over Stew's shoulder. She laughs at his attempted imitation.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         You're sure going to be poison to 
                         that Junior Leaguer[4] from now 
                         on!

                                     STEW
                         I hope not . . . I've got to call 
                         on her this morning!

               Gallagher looks up in astonishment.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         You what?

                                     STEW
                         Sure, I must drop in on the mad 
                         wench. Her wounds need soothing.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         For heaven's sake, Stew, are you 
                         completely bats? What for? I thought 
                         the story was cold. You can't go 
                         back there.

                                     STEW
                         Sure, the story is cold, but I'm 
                         not. I'm sizzling - look! Psst!

               He moistens a finger, touches it to his wrist, and makes a 
               sizzle noise.

               Gallagher looks over quizzically—a little suspicious—a 
               little jealous.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (a drawn-out knowing 
                              utterance)
                         O-o-oh! Came the dawn, came the 
                         dawn!

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               Over Gallagher's shoulder.

                                     STEW
                         And with it came love! Oh Gallagher, 
                         you've got to meet her. She's it—

                                     GALLAGHER
                         —and that—

                                     STEW
                              (enthusing)
                         —and those and them.

               Gallagher takes a sip of her drink before answering.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Well, I've seen her pictures, and 
                         I don't think she's so hot.

                                     STEW
                              (disparaging gesture)
                         Oh, you don't appreciate it. Her 
                         pictures don't do her justice. 
                         Why, Gallagher, she's queenly - 
                         she is queenly - and I know queens!
                              (continues in 
                              exaltation)
                         And oh, has she got herself a nose - 
                         and I know noses too. That little 
                         snozzle of hers is the berries, I 
                         tell you. And is she cute when she 
                         throws that little snozzle to the 
                         high heavens!

               52. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Of course I haven't got a nose.

               Stew gives her a hurt look.

                                     STEW
                              (shaking his head)
                         Sure, sure. You've got a nose, 
                         Gallagher. You've got a nose. But 
                         there's different women, Gallagher. 
                         You know, like brewery horses and 
                         thoroughbreds.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (deliberately 
                              misunderstanding)
                         On now, Stew, don't be too hard on 
                         her. I wouldn't call her a brewery 
                         horse.

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher! She's the real McCoy!

                                     GALLAGHER
                         And the rest of us are truck horses?

                                     STEW
                              (reproachfully)
                         There you go, talking like a woman!

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (a trifle resentfully)
                         Well!

                                     STEW
                         Well, you're my pal, aren't you? 
                         Then don't turn female on me.

               During these last few speeches, Gallagher has been regarding 
               him with a curious expression. She loves being his pal, 
               but wishes he would realize she is also a woman.

               53. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew seems a little resentful of her attitude. He rises.

                                     STEW
                         Pay that check, will you Gallagher? 
                         I'll give it back to you some time. 
                         Maybe.

               He flourishes the book of Conrad, which has been lying on 
               the table in front of him, and makes a grand gesture.

                                     STEW
                         I go now - I go with Conrad in 
                         quest of my youth! Fry those 
                         tomatoes, will you, Gallagher?

               He strikes a pose—and exits.

               Gallagher, sits, looking after him, considerably disturbed.

               CLOSER SHOT - GALLAGHER

               Sitting, looking dismally after Stew.

               She opens her bag and takes out a mirror, surveying herself 
               with frank disapproval. She pulls out a curl of hair before 
               each ear, tries to soften the severe brim of the hat. She 
               puts a finger to the tip of her nose and tilts it up, 
               studying the effect. Then, with a sigh of disgust, she 
               throws mirror and bag onto the table.

               LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL - DAY - LONG SHOT

               Smythe, the butler, previously introduced, comes from the 
               direction of the rear of the house, and proceeds down the 
               long, vast hallway towards the front door. The bell keeps 
               ringing steadily.

               The butler reaches the wide front door.

               56. CLOSER SHOT

               As the butler opens the door and reveals Stew standing 
               outside, hatless, a book in his hand, a spring overcoat 
               slightly askew, the pockets bulging with contents.  The 
               butler quickly tries to slam the door in Stew's face, but 
               Stew's right foot comes forward with a practiced 
               newspaperman's gesture and he forces his way into the room.

                                     STEW
                              (reproachfully)
                         Now, now Jeeves.[5] Was that nice?  
                         Was that being a gentleman, Jeeves? 
                         Was it, Jeeves? Your name is Jeeves, 
                         isn't it?

                                     SMYTHE
                              (stiffly)
                         The name is Smythe.

                                     STEW
                         Smythe! Well, well, well! With a Y 
                         , huh?
                              (wags his head)
                         Congratulations! What a small world. 
                         Brothers under livery. Shake!
                              (he grabs the 
                              butler's hand)
                         Now, as a Smith to a Smythe—

                                     SMYTHE
                              (glacially)
                         Mrs. Schuyler is not at home.

               TWO SHOT - ANOTHER ANGLE

                                     STEW
                         I know, I know. I waited outside 
                         till she went out. She's a very 
                         nice lady, but we don't vibrate 
                         well together.

                                     58. MEDIUM SHOT
                         Anne, dressed in smart sports 
                         clothes, starts to cross thru the 
                         hall. She stops as she sees the 
                         butler engaged in conversation 
                         with Stew.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (hollowly)
                         No one's at home, sir.

               Anne starts walking toward them. Stew spots her.

                                     STEW
                         Now Jeeves, what would you call 
                         this - 'no one'?

               Anne comes up to them.

               CLOSER THREE SHOT

               Anne looks up and sees that the butler is frowning and 
               uncomfortable and addresses him.

                                     ANNE
                         What's wrong?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Mrs. Schuyler left orders, Miss, 
                         that if this person came here again, 
                         I was to call the police.

                                     STEW
                         That's a good idea - telephone the 
                         police. The number is Spring 3100. 
                         Get a couple of cops over and we 
                         can have a rubber of bridge.

                                     ANNE
                         You may go, Smythe.

                                     SMYTHE
                         But I—

                                     STEW
                         Now the lady said you may go—

               The butler bows stiffly and exits.

                                     ANNE
                              (to Stew—directly)
                         What do you want?

                                     STEW
                         Well, I tell you, yesterday when I 
                         was here, I had one of your books 
                         in my hand, and when I got outside, 
                         I realized I still had your book 
                         in my hand. So as long as I had 
                         your book in my hand, I thought I 
                         might as well take it home and 
                         read it. This morning, I got up 
                         and put your book in my hand, and 
                         here's your book in your hand.

               He extends the Conrad book, and Anne, making no effort to 
               take it, he throws it on the table.

                                     ANNE
                              (haughty)
                         That's considerate of you.

                                     STEW
                         Yeah, that was considerate of me. 
                         I recommend you read it.

               CLOSER TWO SHOT

                                     ANNE
                              (stiffly)
                         I'm not interested in your literary 
                         recommendations.

                                     STEW
                         Well, maybe it's a bit heavy for 
                         you. Perhaps if you'd like something 
                         lighter - something with a touch 
                         of romance—

               He takes a package of letters out of his overcoat pocket 
               held together by a rubber band. He extracts one of them 
               and opens it.

                                     STEW
                         Just listen to this—
                              (reading)
                         Adorable Babykins—
                         Does her miss her Baby? Him sends 
                         his booful li'l sweetums a billion 
                         oceans full of kisses. Bobo is so 
                         lonely—!

                                     ANNE
                              (interrupting coldly)
                         Just a moment. I don't see how 
                         that trash could possibly concern 
                         me.

               Stew advances a little closer, putting up a finger.

                                     STEW
                              (mysteriously)
                         Ah!  But you don't know who Bobo 
                         is. And you don't know who Babykins 
                         is.

                                     ANNE
                         I'm not interested. Smythe will 
                         open the door.

               She begins to walk away.

                                     STEW
                              (brightly)
                         But Bobo is your brother, Michael. 
                         And of course nobody would ever 
                         guess who Babykins is.

               Anne turns and stares at him, incredulously, for a moment.

                                     ANNE
                         Where did you get those letters?

                                     STEW
                         I stole them when I was interviewing 
                         Babykins about Bobo.

               Anne looks up coldly.

                                     ANNE
                         I suppose you're going to print 
                         them?

                                     STEW
                         No - give you another guess.

               61. MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT (TRUCK SHOT)

               The two.

               Anne surveys him with frank scorn and dislike.

                                     ANNE
                              (scornfully)
                         Oh, I don't need another guess. 
                         It's quite obvious.

                                     STEW
                         So, it's obvious, huh?

               She turns toward the library.

                                     ANNE
                         Will you step into the library?

                                     STEW
                              (with alacrity)
                         Sure, I'll take a chance.

               Anne walks majestically with head held high—thru the 
               hall—thru the living room and to the library. CAMERA 
               TRUCKING AHEAD OF THEM. This is a very long walk with Anne 
               walking ahead, Stew trailing.

                                     STEW
                              (while walking with 
                              Anne single file)
                         You know, the Indians used to walk 
                         like this.
                              (pause)
                         Except the squaw always walked in 
                         the back—
                              (pause)
                         You know why that was? That was in 
                         case of attack from the front.
                              (pause)
                         Of course, if the attack was from 
                         the rear, she had to depend upon 
                         her papoose.
                              (pause)
                         Oh yes, the papooses always had 
                         bows and arrows.
                              (pause)
                         Of course, if she wasn't 
                         married—then she'd have to protect 
                         her own - er, er—
                              (indicates rear 
                              with thumb over 
                              shoulder - still 
                              walking)
                         What country is this library in?
                              (pause)
                         Miss Schuyler, how about carfare 
                         back to the front door, huh?

               INT. SCHUYLER LIBRARY - MEDIUM SHOT

               Anne sweeps in, followed by Stew. She walks directly to a 
               desk, opens a drawer and takes out a large check book. She 
               draws up a chair and seats herself.

               63. CLOSE SHOT

               Anne at the desk, starting to fill in the date on a blank 
               check.

                                     ANNE
                         What are your initials - Mr. - er—

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               Who has remained standing. He is watching her with a 
               peculiar expression.

                                     STEW
                         Smith. Stewart Smith. My friends 
                         call me Stew. It's an injustice 
                         too because I hold my liquor all 
                         right.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 63

               Anne writes on the check. Then she looks up.

                                     ANNE
                         Will - uh - five thousand be enough?

               65. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     STEW
                         For what?

                                     ANNE
                         For the letters, of course.

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               As Stew walks closer and addreses her.

                                     STEW
                         Gee, you shouldn't do that, Miss 
                         Schuyler. That's all right for 
                         your lawyer friend, but you 
                         shouldn't go around thinking you 
                         can buy people.
                              (hands her the 
                              letters)
                         They're yours.

               Anne has been listening to him with a puzzled expression, 
               impressed by his obvious sincerity.

                                     ANNE
                         I don't know how to thank you. 
                         Mother'll be so grateful - she'll 
                         probably want to kiss you.

                                     STEW
                         Your mother will want to kiss me? 
                         Give me back my letters.
                              (grabs the letters)
                         That's the breaks I get. It's the 
                         mothers that are always grateful 
                         to me.
                              (with a smile, he 
                              hands the letters 
                              back)
                         Here.

                                     ANNE
                         You're a peculiar person. Why the 
                         other day I pleaded with you not 
                         to send in that story and —
                              (gestures with 
                              letters)

               67. CLOSE TWO SHOT

                                     STEW
                              (patiently again)
                         I know but that was news. This is 
                         blackmail and I don't like 
                         blackmail.

               Anne is regarding him with searching scrutiny. She smiles. 
               Her icy, belligerent attitude has vanished.

                                     ANNE
                         won't even pretend it isn't a very 
                         great favor. I wish there was 
                         something I could do for you—

                                     STEW
                         Well, you could make this table a 
                         little - uh - a little less wide.
                              (he leans over closer 
                              to her)
                         There is something you can do for 
                         me, Miss Schuyler.

               The smile goes out of Anne's eyes—the suspicion returns—she 
               is saying to herself—"I was right the first time!"

                                     STEW
                              (engagingly)
                         I haven't had any lunch yet. Have 
                         you got anything in the icebox?

               The hard, disdainful look leaves Anne's face as she stares 
               at this incredible guy with his incredible request. With a 
               twinkle in her eyes, she responds:

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, you fool!

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. SCHUYLER DINING ROOM

               MED. FULL SHOT

               A lovely, sunny room, cretonne drapes and colorful painted 
               furniture. Stew and Anne are sitting at the table. Anne 
               looks amused and definitely speculative. Stew has the manner 
               of having lived in this house all his life. He draws the 
               cup of tea to him and puts in a lump or two of sugar.

               Between him and Anne on the corner of the table is a 
               modernistic, squatty little tea-pot.

                                     STEW
                         After years of research, I finally 
                         discovered that I was the only guy 
                         in the world who hadn't written a 
                         play, so believe it or not, in my 
                         spare time I'm now writing a play.

               CLOSE TWO SHOT

               Anne is casually amused.

                                     ANNE
                         Really?

                                     STEW
                         Yeah, I haven't figured out the 
                         plot yet, but it's laid in a 
                         Siberian village.

                                     ANNE
                         You're a bit eccentric, aren't 
                         you?

                                     STEW
                         Me? No - most ordinary guy in the 
                         world, me. Only one thing wrong 
                         with me—

                                     ANNE
                         You don't wear garters!

               Stew helps himself to another lump of sugar.

                                     STEW
                         Naw, that's just a symbol of my 
                         independence.

               He leans closer, looking directly into her face.

                                     STEW
                         I'm color blind. That's what's 
                         wrong - I'm color blind. I've been 
                         sitting here for a half hour looking 
                         at you and I don't know yet whether 
                         your eyes are blue or violet.

               Anne smiles at this unexpected statement, and stares at 
               him very critically.

                                     ANNE
                         I'm just beginning to believe that 
                         something could be done with you.

                                     STEW
                         Say, you could do anything with me 
                         you wanted to. Putty - just putty, 
                         that's me.
                              (leaning closer)
                         Now getting back to those eyes of 
                         yours - would you mind if I kind 
                         of got closer so I could see them?

                                     ANNE
                         Not if you're going to lose any 
                         sleep about it.

               70. CLOSE SHOT

               He gets closer, takes her chin in his hand and gets an 
               eyeful.

                                     ANNE
                         Now, how would you like them—open 
                         like this?

               She smiles radiantly.

                                     STEW
                         Close them both.
                              (getting warm)
                         Something tells me I'd better leave.

               During the last speech Mrs. Schuyler enters and stops in 
               the doorway, surveying this astonishing scene with stupefied 
               indignation and rage.

               Anne gets quickly to her feet as Mrs. Schuyler sails 
               forward.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         That's an excellent idea.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, hello Mother!

                                     STEW
                              (easily)
                         Hello - hello, Mrs. Schuyler. Come 
                         right in. Will you have a slug of 
                         tea?

               He hospitably indicates the table. Mrs. Schuyler is 
               speechless with fury. She does not immediately reply. Then:

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         What is this person doing here?

                                     ANNE
                         Why—

               Stew goes on.

                                     STEW
                         As a matter of fact, I was just 
                         trying to decide the color of Anne's 
                         eyes. I can't tell whether they're 
                         blue, or whether they're violet. 
                         What would you say, Mrs. Schuyler?

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (bursting)
                         Why—

                                     ANNE
                              (quickly)
                         Don't say it, Mother, please. Mr. 
                         Smith came here today to do us a 
                         great favor.

               71. CLOSER SHOT

               Anne, Mrs. Schuyler and Stew. Mrs. Schuyler, with an effort, 
               restraining her impulse to yank Stew out by the collar, 
               speaks:

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (bursting with wrath)
                         Indeed? Perhaps he will do me a 
                         great favor.

                                     STEW
                              (elaborate bow)
                         With pleasure, Madame!

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Get out of here.

                                     ANNE
                              (distressed)
                         Oh, Mother!

                                     STEW
                              (with dignity)
                         It's all right. It's all right, 
                         Anne. I can take a hint. A bit 
                         subtle, but I get it. It's all 
                         right.

                                     ANNE
                         Please go. I'll explain to Mother.

               He steps close to Mrs. Schuyler's side.

                                     STEW
                         The caviar was lovely, Madam.

               72. WIDER SHOT

               Stew starts to the door, smiles at Anne, and remarks to 
               Mrs. Schuyler as he passes her:

                                     STEW
                         You must come over and see us 
                         sometime.

               Mrs. Schuyler freezes in inarticulate anger, as Stew gives 
               a courtly bow and exits.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM - NIGHT

               73. MEDIUM SHOT

               Anne in a stunning evening dress is seated, a cocktail in 
               one hand, cigarette in the other. Dexter Grayson, in evening 
               clothes, is standing before her.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Where were you yesterday?

               CLOSE SHOT - ANNE

               She has a faraway, speculative look in her eyes.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, Stew and I went for a long 
                         ride.
                              (dreamily)
                         Dexter, is there any finishing 
                         school we can send him to?

               CLOSE SHOT - GRAYSON

                                     GRAYSON
                              (witheringly)
                         Yes - Sing Sing.

                                     CONTINUATION SCENE 74
                         Anne. She ignores this crack.

                                     ANNE
                         Just the same, he's going to be a 
                         different person when I get through 
                         with him.

                                     CONTINUATION SCENE 75
                         Grayson. He is looking at her, 
                         deeply disturbed.

                                     GRAYSON
                         When you get through with him?

               76. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     ANNE
                         Yes, it'll be a very interesting 
                         experiment.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (sneering)
                         To make a gentleman out of a tramp?

                                     ANNE
                         Exactly.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Now, Anne, you remember how much 
                         it cost to get rid of that baseball 
                         player?

                                     ANNE
                         You don't seem to understand that 
                         this one's different. He has brains.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               Grayson seats himself beside her on the divan.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (fervently)
                         But what about me, Anne?

               She looks at him coldly with almost an expression of 
               dislike.

                                     ANNE
                         You?  Oh, don't go serious on me, 
                         Dexter.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. PENTHOUSE APT. - NIGHT

               MED. SHOT TRUCKING

               An elaborate, modernistic roof apartment, thronged with 
               people all in evening dress. Stew and Anne are walking 
               down among them. Anne is radiant, and Stew is happily 
               guiding her among the stuffed shirts. Anne stops before a 
               group. There is the sound of conversation, laughter, clink 
               of glasses, music from stringed invisible orchestra, etc.

                                     ANNE
                         Hello, Natalie. Mr. Stewart Smith 
                         . . . Miss Montgomery, Mrs. Eames, 
                         Mrs. Radcliff, Mr. Radcliff—

                                     STEW
                         How-di-do.

                                     GROUP
                              (ad-lib 
                              acknowledgements)

               79. MED. CLOSE SHOT - DEXTER GRAYSON

               Standing, helping himself to a cocktail, which a footman 
               is passing about. Dexter looks off with a frown of 
               disapproval.

               80. CLOSE SHOT - GROUP OF WOMEN

               They are looking off in Anne's direction.

                                     FIRST WOMAN
                         Say, who's Anne's new boyfriend?

                                     SECOND WOMAN
                         Well, if these old ears don't 
                         deceive me, I believe his name is 
                         Smith.

                                     FIRST WOMAN
                         Smith! Can't be one of the brothers - 
                         he hasn't a beard on.[6]

                                     SECOND WOMAN
                         Well, he must have something if 
                         Anne has got her clutches on him.

               There is the sound of a piano chord being struck.

               MED. FULL SHOT

               Mrs. Baxter, the hostess, is standing importantly by the 
               grand piano at which is seated an anaemic-looking young 
               man. Beside her stands a stout, swarthy Italian with 
               bristling mustachios. Mrs. Baxter bows toward the swarthy 
               one, who bends almost double in acknowledgement. There is 
               a polite scattering of applause, and some of the guests 
               seat themselves.

               Martini starts to sing.

               Unnoticed by the rest, Stew and Anne slip out of the door 
               into the roof garden.

               EXT. ROOF GARDEN

               MED. FULL SHOT

               A most beautiful, romantic spot. Rose trees in blossom, a 
               vine-covered pergola, a splashing fountain, a few choice 
               marble statues, low, deep chairs placed to make a gorgeous 
               spot. Stew and Anne enter from the direction of the house. 
               The garden is dark except for the lights from the interior 
               of the house. From within, comes the voice of the singer 
               rendering an extremely romantic, sentimental Italian love 
               song. This will continue to the FADE OUT of the scene.

               Stew and Anne walk, still hand in hand, toward the edge of 
               the pergola where the shadows are deeper and where a couple 
               of glorified steamer chairs are placed. There is a full 
               moon overhead.

               She leads him toward a waterfall effect, a glass partition 
               down which water trickles. They go behind the dimly lit 
               fountain and sit in a low, deep divan. We see them in 
               silhouette as they go into a passionate embrace. All we 
               hear is the faint voice of Martini—and the uninterrupted 
               splashing of the fountain.

                                                                 CUT TO:

               CLOSEUP - ANNE & STEW

               On divan, arms around each other.

                                     STEW
                         Anne, pinch me, will you? Throw me 
                         out of here. Give me the air. Throw 
                         me out of this joint, will you?

               Anne smiles happily and pinches his nose.

                                     ANNE
                         Why should I? We're happy, aren't 
                         we, darling?

                                     STEW
                         Throw me out - because I'm beginning 
                         to get goofy ideas, and they concern 
                         you, Anne.

                                     ANNE
                              (passionately)
                         None of your ideas can be goofy, 
                         Stew, if they concern me.

                                     STEW
                              (struggling)
                         My name is Smith - well, that you 
                         seem to have been able to stand 
                         for the last month. I'm white, 
                         male and over twenty-one. I've 
                         never been in jail - that is, not 
                         often. And I prefer Scotch to 
                         Bourbon. I hate carrots, I hate 
                         peas, I like black coffee and I 
                         hate garters. I make seventy-five 
                         bucks a week and I've got eight 
                         hundred and forty-seven bucks in 
                         the bank - and - I don't know yet 
                         whether your eyes are blue or 
                         violet.

                                     ANNE
                              (although he is 
                              very close to her)
                         That's because you're too far away, 
                         Stew.

               Throughout his speech, Anne never takes her eyes off him. 
               As he fumbles now, he turns. Their eyes meet. His 
               overwhelming desire for Anne overcomes him.

               He dismisses as futile his effort to be practical, sweeps 
               her into his arms and kisses her passionately.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               INT. CITY ROOM OF MORNING POST - DAY

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               Typical atmosphere, as before.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               85. MEDIUM SHOT

               Featuring Stew at his desk, which is directly in front of 
               the battery of Morkrums whose clatter comes into the sound 
               track.

               Stew finishes up a phone call. He sits at his desk, staring 
               pensively at his typewriter. He is smoking a pipe and is 
               in his shirt-sleeves. His hair is rumpled, and strewn over 
               the desk is a bunch of crumpled up pieces of paper, 
               indicating that he has made numerous unsuccessful starts 
               at writing something. A fresh blank sheet of paper is now 
               in the typewriter.

               Nearby, at another desk, asleep in a swivel chair, with 
               his feet elevated to the desk, the low snoring of another 
               reporter blends with the sounds of the Morkrums and other 
               noises of the City Room. At the reporter's elbow is a 
               telephone.

               86. MEDIUM SHOT

               Desk of Conroy, the City Editor. A small upright plate on 
               his desk indicates his position. This is near the copy 
               desk. Characteristic activities are background for any 
               action that may take place. Reporters come up to throw 
               their stories on Conroy's desk; the phone rings, etc.

               A boy comes in with a large number of newspapers under his 
               arm which he throws on Conroy's desk. There are several 
               copies of each of the rival newspapers in town. Conroy 
               spreads them out and begins to examine them.

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               It is evident that he is nervous and jumpy about something. 
               Finally he starts to pound the typewriter.

               INSERT: Sheet of paper in typewriter on which is being 
               typed.

                                     ACT 1
                         SCENE 1

               A STREET IN ARABY 88. CLOSE SHOT - GALLAGHER

               As she talks on the phone to one of her girlfriends

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (sotto voce)
                         Sure I got a new dress. A new hat 
                         too. (listens) Well, I'll try to 
                         get Stew to come with me. (she 
                         glances in his direction) Yeah - 
                         he's all right. You know, he thinks 
                         he's stuck on some society gal. 
                         (listens) Naw, it won't last. It 
                         better not last!

               CLOSER SHOT - CONROY

               Hastily glancing over the headlines of the papers. The 
               phone rings. Without looking at it, Conroy answers:

                                     CONROY
                         What? Oh, I'll be surprised, eh? 
                         Listen if there's any news in that 
                         sheet that I haven't thrown in the 
                         wastepaper basket, I'll eat it.

               He is looking down at the papers and suddenly his eyes 
               focus on something which causes the cigar to drop from his 
               mouth and an expression of mingled amazement and rage comes 
               into his face. We do not see at this point what it is he 
               has read, but we know it must be something sensational. 
               Abruptly he hangs up the phone.

                                                                 CUT TO:

               CONTINUATION SCENE 87

               Stew, as he studies his typewriter. Over his CLOSEUP comes 
               the excited outraged voice of Conroy.

                                     CONROY'S VOICE
                         Hey Stew! Stew Smith!

               A look of infinite weariness and disgust comes over Stew's 
               face and he grits his teeth.

                                     STEW
                         Me?

               His general expression registers "Good god, there he goes 
               again." With one finger he pounds out four letters:

               INSERT: Sheet in typewriter: Next to

               STREET IN ARABY

               STEW HAS TYPED:

               NUTS

               He yanks the sheet out of the typewriter.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 89

               Conroy. He looks over and bellows furiously.

                                     CONROY
                         You double-crossing hound! Come 
                         over here!

               CONTINUATION SCENE 87

               Stew gets up from his machine, crumples the sheet of paper 
               into a wad and flings it at the sleeping reporter. The wad 
               strikes him in the face; he wakes abruptly and automatically 
               reaches for the phone. He picks up the receiver and in a 
               voice fogged with sleep calls a number. Stew exits.

               90. MEDIUM SHOT

               At Conroy's desk. Conroy's expression is one of bitter 
               reproach as he leans back in his swivel chair as Stew 
               approaches and stands by the desk.

                                     STEW
                         Now listen boss, if you're going 
                         to kick about that expense account—

                                     CONROY
                              (interrupting 
                              fiercely)
                         Do you call yourself a reporter?

               91. MEDIUM SHOT

               Of other reporters, the older man at the copy desk, and 
               perhaps a sob sister or two nearby, who look up with 
               expectant interest, expecting to hear Stew get a bawling 
               out.

               CLOSE SHOT - GALLAGHER

               At her desk. She looks up worried and apprehensive.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 90

               Stew and Conroy.

                                     STEW
                         It has been alleged - yes—

                                     CONROY
                         You wouldn't know news if you fell 
                         into a mess of it, nose first. So 
                         you're the bright lad that's never 
                         been scooped!

                                     STEW
                              (defensively)
                         Not on my own beat, no.

                                     CONROY
                              (howling so that he 
                              can be heard all 
                              over the room)
                         No? Well, where were you when that 
                         happened?

               He slaps the copy of the Tribune furiously and shoves it 
               into Stew's face.

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               Not knowing what it is all about, Stew, with an injured 
               expression, takes the paper and looks at it.

               INSERT: FRONT PAGE OF TRIBUNE

               ANN SCHUYLER ELOPES WITH REPORTER

               (with subheads giving more explicit information)

               94. MEDIUM SHOT

               The other reporters, copy readers, sob sisters, etc., seeing 
               the unusual commotion and Stew's bewildered reaction, get 
               out of their chairs and cross over to the City Desk, where 
               they take up other copies of the same paper to look at. 
               There are amazed and excited exclamations.

               95. CLOSER SHOT - STEW AND CONROY

               Stew, still staring dumbly at the paper. A few others are 
               crowding around, glancing over his shoulder, etc.

                                     CONROY
                         I've heard of people being scooped 
                         on their own funerals, but this!  
                         Holy mackerel! Why, it's news when 
                         Anne Schuyler gets her fingernails 
                         manicured, but this! She gets 
                         married to one of our own reporters 
                         and the Tribune beat us to it!
                              (he notices other 
                              reporters milling 
                              around)
                         Well! What do you guys want? Go 
                         on, get back to your desks. Go 
                         back to your work.
                              (returning his 
                              attention to Stew)
                         Now don't tell me you were drunk 
                         at the time and don't remember! Or 
                         is this one of Bingy's snow-storms?

                                     STEW
                         No, no - it's true, all right, 
                         only we didn't want to get it in 
                         print yet, that's all.

                                     CONROY
                         Why not?

                                     STEW
                         Well, you see, I've acquired one 
                         of those new mother-in-laws, and 
                         we were afraid she wouldn't 
                         understand the whole idea. So we 
                         were going to wait till she went 
                         to Europe.

                                     CONROY
                         What do I care about your mother-
                         in-law! You're still working for 
                         this paper, aren't you! Or are 
                         you?

                                     STEW
                         Yes, sir.

                                     CONROY
                         Well, it's your business to get 
                         news! And here you had a story 
                         right in your own lap and you let 
                         the Tribune scoop us on it. Making 
                         a first class Grade A monkey out 
                         of me. If it ever happens again - 
                         just don't bother about coming 
                         back. That's all.

               He dismisses Stew with a wave of his hand.

                                     STEW
                         Thanks for your congratulations.

               96. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew turns away from Conroy's desk, and a group of his 
               confreres come up, surrounding him in a series of ad-lib 
               congratulations. (Some slightly profane, pounding him on 
               the back, whooping, and in general manifesting great 
               surprise and glee.) This group is increased by copy readers, 
               office boys and everybody jabbering and shouting at him.

                                     GROUP
                              (ad-lib 
                              congratulations)
                         Stew manages to break thru them 
                         and exits from scene.

               97. MEDIUM SHOT

               Gallagher—to intercut with above scene. She gets up and 
               goes over, CAMERA PANNING WITH HER and picks up another 
               copy of the paper and reads the headlines.

               CLOSER SHOT - GALLAGHER

               Her face stricken and sick as she reads about Stew's 
               marriage. Abruptly she turns away, out of scene.

               99. MEDIUM SHOT

               At Gallagher's empty desk. Stew comes in trying to stave 
               off the mob. He turns on the congratulators, pushing them 
               off.

                                     STEW
                         What's the matter with you mugs? 
                         Can't a guy get married without 
                         all this?
                              (looks around)
                         Where's Gallagher? Anybody seen 
                         Gallagher?

               He forcibly breaks away from them and walks back toward 
               the door, the last of the wisecracks and goodnatured jeers 
               being flung after him.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. JOE'S SPEAKEASY

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               Gallagher is seated alone at a table, looking very forlorn. 
               Her life is suddenly empty. A drink is in front of her, 
               untouched. She is fighting hard to keep her emotions under 
               control.

               Stew enters the speakeasy and mingles with patrons, who 
               offer congratulations. He comes to a stop by the table. 
               She looks up, forcing a smile.

                                     STEW
                         Well, well, well! Gallagher, old 
                         pal! There you are. What did you 
                         run away for?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I didn't run away.

               Stew draws out the other chair at the table and sits down.

               CLOSER SHOT OF THE TWO

               He looks across at her, grinning boyishly, utterly unaware 
               that what he has done has hurt her deeply.

                                     STEW
                         Sure, you ran away. Aren't you 
                         going to congratulate a guy?

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (with sincerity)
                         Sure. I wish you all the luck in 
                         the world, pal.

               She puts her hand tenderly on his.

                                     STEW
                         Thanks, thanks.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I hope you'll be very happy.

               Stew expands under the comradeship of Gallagher. He wants 
               to talk.

                                     STEW
                         Oh sure, we'll be happy. What's 
                         the matter with your eyes?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         It's the smoke.

                                     STEW
                              (calling to bartender)
                         Joe! A little snifter.
                              (returning his 
                              attention to 
                              Gallagher)
                         Say, wasn't I a lucky guy to fall 
                         into a girl like that, huh?
                              (he notices the 
                              newspaper, which 
                              Gallagher has been 
                              reading)
                         Look at that! I don't know how I 
                         rate that, Gallagher. Gosh, there's 
                         a swell girl. I want you to meet 
                         her.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Who me? She wouldn't want to meet 
                         me. I'm just an old load of hay.

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               As his drink is served.

                                     STEW
                         Ah! Thank you, Joe.
                              (returning his 
                              attention to 
                              Gallagher)
                         Tell you what - we'll have one of 
                         those parties down at your house - 
                         one of those spaghetti parties, 
                         you know. Gee, we haven't had one 
                         of those in a long time, have we 
                         Gallagher?

               CLOSE SHOT OF THE TWO

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (quietly)
                         Not since you broke into society.

                                     STEW
                              (waxing reminiscent)
                         Remember the time we had a spaghetti 
                         party, and while I was serving the 
                         spaghetti I dropped it on the floor, 
                         and while those mugs weren't 
                         looking, I picked it up and served 
                         it to them anyway! Remember that? 
                         Yes, Anne would love that.

               CLOSE SHOT - GALLAGHER

               Looking across at him.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Do you think your wife would walk 
                         up three flights of stairs just to 
                         eat out of paper plates?

               105. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     STEW
                         Who - Anne? Sure, Anne would love 
                         that.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Remember, she's a Schuyler.

                                     STEW
                         Now get this, Gallagher - Smith. 
                         That's the name.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (murmurs)
                         My error.

                                     STEW
                         Well, if she doesn't want to come, 
                         I'll come down alone.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (shaking her head)
                         Oh no, you won't, Mr. Smith. You're 
                         a married man now. Mother always 
                         warned me never to run around with 
                         married men.

                                     STEW
                              (resentfully)
                         Say, what kind of a pal are you? 
                         You're not going to leave me flat?

               Gallagher tries to be elaborately casual.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Oh, I'll call you up some time. 
                         And if your social duties permit - 
                         why -

                                     STEW
                         Cut that out. Just because I'm 
                         married - there's no reason for 
                         that.

               Gallagher looks up and off, seeing something that startles 
               her.

               106. MED. SHOT

               Conroy, the City Editor, entering the speakeasy.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 105

               Stew and Gallagher.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (interrupting in a 
                              whisper)
                         Hey, ixnay - here's the ossbay. 
                         Stew looks around, also startled.

               107. MED. SHOT

               Stew buries his head in the newspaper, in pretense of 
               looking for something. Conroy appears at the table and 
               stops. He indicates Stew.

                                     CONROY
                         What's the Benedict looking for in 
                         the newspaper - his lost freedom?

               Stew slowly sticks his head up over the top of the table, 
               looking up.

                                     STEW
                              (grinning sheepishly)
                         Well, if it isn't old Fagin[9] 
                         himself.

               Conroy sits down at the table.

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher and myself just came 
                         over here to do a little work on a 
                         story -

                                     CONROY
                              (disgustedly)
                         Baloney!
                              (calls off)
                         Joe! Bring me a special!

               CLOSER THREE SHOT

               Gallagher tries to be very bright and smiling.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (to Conroy)
                         Isn't it swell about Stew's 
                         marriage?

                                     CONROY
                              (looking straight 
                              at her)
                         Is it?

               Gallagher, self-conscious, realizes this tough old buzzard 
               is on to her. She looks back at him for a moment - then 
               drops her head. Stew is oblivious to this by-play. Conroy 
               turns to Stew.

                                     CONROY
                         Well, when are you quitting?

                                     STEW
                         Quitting? I'm not thinking about 
                         quitting.

               Joe comes in with a drink for Conroy.

                                     CONROY
                         take it you don't have to work for 
                         a living any more—

               He takes a sip of his drink and looks over meaningfully.

                                     CONROY
                         —Mr. Schuyler .

                                     STEW
                              (in a flash of anger)
                         Now get this, Conroy. My name is 
                         Smith. Always was Smith - and always 
                         gonna be Smith.

                                     CONROY
                         Is that so?

                                     STEW
                         That's so.

               CLOSEUP - CONROY

               He shows that he is genuinely interested in Stew and his 
               problems, but can't help being a little sarcastic.

                                     CONROY
                         Anne Schuyler's in the Blue Book - 
                         you're not even in the phone book. 
                         Think that one over, sucker.

               CAMERA PANS to CLOSEUP of GALLAGHER.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (quickly in Stew's 
                              defense)
                         That doesn't make any difference—

                                     (QUIETLY)
                         —if they love each other.

               CAMERA PANS BACK to CLOSEUP of CONROY.

                                     CONROY
                         Blah! It's like a giraffe marrying 
                         a monkey.
                              (looking off at 
                              Stew)
                         Listen - you'll never be anything 
                         but just the reporter that married 
                         the Schuyler's millions. Stew Smith 
                         is dead and buried. From now on, 
                         you'll be just Anne Schuyler's 
                         husband. A rich wife's magnolia. 
                         If you can smoke that without 
                         getting sick, you're welcome to 
                         it.

               CAMERA PANS to CLOSEUP of STEW:

                                     GALLAGHER'S VOICE
                         But that's perfectly ridiculous.

                                     STEW
                              (defensively)
                         Wait a minute. Now, Gallagher, let 
                         me do the talking. Get this, Conroy - 
                         Anne Schuyler has got a lot of 
                         dough, all right - and I married 
                         her, all right - but her dough and 
                         me? No connection.

               MED. CLOSE THREE SHOT

               Gallagher is looking fixedly at Stew - very much worried 
               about Conroy's dismal prophecies. Conroy shakes his head 
               in sorrowful gloom.

                                     CONROY
                              (as if he had not 
                              heard Stew)
                         Just a boid in a gilded cage -

                                     STEW
                         A what?

                                     CONROY
                         You heard me. A bird in a gilded 
                         cage.

                                     STEW
                         Aw, you've been reading a lot of 
                         cheap tabloids. Anne and myself 
                         are going to move downtown in a 
                         nice little flat, we're gonna forget 
                         all about this social stuff, and 
                         we're gonna be known as Mr. and 
                         Mrs. Stew Smith. How do you like 
                         that?

                                     CONROY
                              (sarcasm)
                         And live on your salary, I suppose?

                                     STEW
                         Yeah, live on my salary - that is, 
                         until I finish writing my play.

                                     CONROY
                              (snorts)
                         What play?

                                     STEW
                         My play.

                                     CONROY
                         The one about the Siberian 
                         bloodhound?

                                     STEW
                         Siberian bloodhound?  No. That's 
                         been all rewritten. It's laid in 
                         Araby now.

                                     CONROY
                         Araby?

                                     STEW
                         Sure.

                                     CONROY
                         Araby, my eye—!

               111. WIDER SHOT

               Conroy, having finished his drink, pushes back his chair 
               and rises. He puts an affectionate hand on Stew's shoulder.

                                     CONROY
                         Well, I'm sorry to see a good 
                         reporter go blooey—
                              (starts away)
                         Let me know when you're quitting.

                                     STEW
                         I'm not quitting!

                                     CONROY
                         No?

                                     STEW
                         No!

                                     CONROY
                              (singing)
                         'For he's only a bird in a gilded 
                         cage, a beautiful sight to see—'
                              (he waves his hand)
                         Tweet, tweet - ha, ha—

               He laughs loud and raucously and exits.

               112. CLOSE SHOT - STEW AND GALLAGHER

               Stew glares after Conroy.

                                     STEW
                              (under his breath)
                         Laugh - laugh, you hyena!

               Gallagher realizes that Conroy has hit home with the truth 
               and is sorry for Stew. She puts her hand over his 
               sympathetically.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Don't pay attention to him, Stew. 
                         He doesn't know what he's talking 
                         about.

                                     STEW
                         Pay attention? I'm not paying any 
                         attention to him. You think that 
                         guy could get me upset? Hah! Not 
                         that mug. He's a tough mug - hard, 
                         cynical. He doesn't know the fine 
                         things in life - that guy.
                              (he swirls his drink, 
                              thinking)
                         A bird in a gilded cage, huh?  
                         It's getting so a guy can't step 
                         out without being called a magnolia. 
                         Stew Smith, a magnolia! Not me. 
                         Say, I'm not going to hang around 
                         and be a speakeasy rat all my life! 
                         I'll tell you that. Not me, not 
                         me. I'm going to step out and mean 
                         something in this world. You watch 
                         me.
                              (he swirls his drink, 
                              clearly bothered, 
                              lost in his own 
                              thoughts)
                         Say, am I a lucky guy to be near 
                         Anne Schuyler?  I've been hit with 
                         a carload of horseshoes, and believe 
                         me I know it. Lucky, I'll say I'm 
                         lucky!
                              (pause)
                         Don't you think I'm lucky, 
                         Gallagher?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Sure - I think so, Stew.

                                     STEW
                         I knew you would, pal.
                              (clearly bothered)
                         A bird in a gilded cage, eh?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         How is her family going to feel 
                         about it?

                                     STEW
                         Her family? Oh, they'll be all 
                         right. I'll bring them around.
                              (swirling his drink)
                         Gilded cage?!  Besides, I'm not 
                         marrying her family. Stew Smith in 
                         a gilded cage! Stew Smith? Ha!
                              (clearly bothered)
                         That mug. What does he know?

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM - DAY

               MED. FULL SHOT

               Another jury scene. This time it is Anne who's on the 
               carpet. Grayson, in correct afternoon attire, his hands 
               behind his back and his head sunk, is pacing back and forth 
               in a very depressed and gloomy fashion.

               Anne is seated, her demeanor betokening sullen defiance.

               Michael is pacing, nervously smoking a cigarette.

                                     MICHAEL
                         I don't know what you need me here 
                         for - it isn't my funeral.

               Mrs. Schuyler stands by a table, staring at a spreadout 
               newspaper which is laid out on the table. She flings the 
               newspaper aside.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         You stay right here, Michael. Some 
                         day you'll be head of this family, 
                         but thank heaven I shan't be here 
                         when it happens. And I hope you 
                         never have a daughter who gives 
                         you gastritis as Anne has me!

               She pulls the bell rope for the butler.

                                     ANNE
                         Now Mother, calm yourself. There's 
                         no use in getting so excited.

               114. MEDIUM SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler is vastly agitated.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Oh, isn't there?
                              (as Anne starts to 
                              get up)
                         Sit down!
                              (looking off)
                         Smythe!

               The butler appears in the doorway.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (in a weak, agonized 
                              voice)
                         Some bicarbonate - quick!

                                     SMYTHE
                         Double strength!

               The butler bows and exits. She passes a nervous hand over 
               her eyes. Anne comes up to her.

                                     ANNE
                         Mother, if you keep this up, you'll 
                         have a nervous breakdown before 
                         you go to Europe.

               115. CLOSER SHOT

               Anne, Grayson and Mrs. Schuyler.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         It's a good thing your father passed 
                         away before he saw insanity ravage 
                         the family. I can't imagine what 
                         made you do such a thing. A 
                         reporter! Of all things, a reporter! 
                         A barbarian who lets his socks 
                         come down!

                                     ANNE
                         Mother, I promise you that he won't 
                         be a reporter much longer. Once I 
                         get him away from that atmosphere 
                         and get him away from a man named 
                         Gallagher—

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (as Anne starts to 
                              get up again)
                         Sit down!

               116. WIDER SHOT

               The butler enters with a tray on which is a glass of 
               bicarbonate of soda and brings it to Mrs. Schuyler.  Walking 
               immediately behind the butler is Stew, airily debonair. 
               The butler glances somewhat uneasily at Mrs. Schuyler as 
               he presents the tray. She glares blackly at Stew without a 
               word of greeting, and taking the foaming glass from the 
               tray, starts to lift it to her lips.

                                     STEW
                              (airily)
                         Drink hearty, Mother.

               Once more, Anne starts to rise out of her seat.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Anne!

               Mrs. Schuyler pauses - glowering at Stew. Stew nods 
               perfunctorily to each member of the jury, the total 
               innocent.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Anne. Mr. Grayson.
                              (to Michael)
                         And you.
                              (to Mrs. Schuyler)
                         Mrs. Schuyler!

               Grayson does not acknowledge the greeting. Mrs. Schuyler, 
               having drained the glass, dismisses the butler with a wave 
               of the hand, and directs her attention again to the matter 
               at hand.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (in command)
                         Well, what's to be done? He's here 
                         now.

               They are all silent - reluctant to speak in front of Stew. 
               Stew looks at them all - a little puzzled - then he walks 
               over toward Mrs. Schuyler.

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler and Stew.

                                     STEW
                         Nobody seems to want to do anything—
                              (to Mrs. Schuyler, 
                              brightly)
                         Why not ask me? Perhaps I can offer 
                         a suggestion. Do what about what?

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (witheringly)
                         About what? Your marriage to Anne!

                                     STEW
                              (with a tone of 
                              dismissal)
                         Oh, my marriage to Anne. Now Mrs. 
                         Schuyler, we don't want you to go 
                         to any trouble about that. We just 
                         want the usual blessings, that's 
                         all.

               118. MEDIUM SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler's eyes flash. She draws herself up with 
               haughty dignity.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Young man, I want you to know that 
                         I object violently to this whole 
                         affair!

               This finally brings Anne out of her seat. She rises and 
               crosses to Stew, making a show of embracing him.

                                     ANNE
                         Now Mother, your attitude is 
                         perfectly ridiculous. It's done 
                         now. Stewart and I are married.

                                     STEW
                              (to Mrs. Schuyler)
                         I'm afraid she's right, Mrs. 
                         Schuyler. I'm really very sorry, 
                         Mrs. Schuyler, that you feel this 
                         way. I was in hopes that you would 
                         like me. I'm not the burglar that 
                         you think I am. After all, we're 
                         married. I think the thing to do 
                         is to kiss and make up - Mother.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (furiously)
                         Stop calling me Mother!

                                     STEW
                              (easily)
                         All right, Grandma—

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (glaring)
                         This man's impossible! I can't 
                         talk to him. Grayson, let's go 
                         where we can talk - hic!
                              (she emits a burp, 
                              then fixes a glacial 
                              look at Anne)
                         See what you've done to me!?

               Without another word, she turns and flounces angrily out 
               of the room. Grayson follows her. At the doorway he pauses, 
               starts to say something. They all look at him expectantly - 
               but no words come out.

                                     STEW
                         Got it too, huh?

               Grayson gives a harrumph and exits.

               CLOSER MEDIUM SHOT

               Anne, Michael and Stew. Michael grins at Stew.

                                     MICHAEL
                         Who won that round?

               Michael starts moving toward the door.

                                     STEW
                              (ruefully)
                         I'm afraid your mother won that 
                         round - that is, she got in the 
                         last blow.

                                     MICHAEL
                         I don't feel the way they do. You're 
                         really not as bad as everybody 
                         thinks.

                                     STEW
                              (effusively - shaking 
                              his hand)
                         You're beginning to appreciate me, 
                         eh? Thanks!

                                     MICHAEL
                         Don't worry too much about Mother - 
                         she's enjoying this. Come on 
                         upstairs, I'll give you a little -

               He indicates a snifter, grins and exits. Anne crosses to 
               Stew and puts her arm around his shoulder.

                                     STEW
                              (to Michael)
                         A little—? Sure, I'll be right up.
                              (to Anne)
                         He's all right. I like him.

                                     ANNE
                         I'm glad.

               He sees two figures pass above in a proscenium alcove, 
               first Mrs. Schuyler, then Grayson. He makes an elaborate 
               bow to each, and is impressed by Grayson's return bow.

                                     STEW
                         He can bend!

               120. CLOSER SHOT

               Anne takes a step backwards and sits down with him on one 
               of the divans. CAMERA TILTING DOWN WITH THEM. He puts an 
               arm about her.

                                     ANNE
                         Come here baby!

               Anne starts fussing abstractedly at Stew's tie. They kiss.

                                     ANNE
                         haven't seen you for three hours. 
                         You're neglecting me already—

               During her speech she has been picking away at a stain on 
               his tie. Stew looks down and notices it.

                                     STEW
                         What's the matter? Something I et, 
                         no doubt. Egg marks the spot—

                                     ANNE
                         You ought to get some new ties, 
                         Stewart.

                                     STEW
                         I don't need any new ties. I've 
                         got another tie - I've got another 
                         one besides this one. And it's a 
                         pip, too. There's only one thing 
                         wrong with it. You know what that 
                         is?  It has a little weakness for 
                         gravy, and once in a while it leans 
                         a little toward ketchup. Of course 
                         that's only in its weaker moments. 
                         When you move down to my place, 
                         I'll show it to you.

               Anne is somewhat taken aback at the suggestion that she's 
               to move into his place.

                                     ANNE
                         Your place?

               TWO SHOT - ANOTHER ANGLE

                                     STEW
                         Yeah. Oh, it's great. Of course it 
                         doesn't compare with this coliseum 
                         of yours here, but 'twill serve 
                         m'lady, 'twill serve.
                              (elaborate)
                         The architecture has a little 
                         feeling of Missouri Gothic - and 
                         the furniture sort of leans toward 
                         Oklahoma Renaissance - with a tiny 
                         touch of Grand Rapids.

                                     ANNE
                              (gently insistent)
                         Don't you think it's silly of us 
                         to think of living there when we 
                         have this whole big house—

                                     STEW
                         When 'we' . . .?  You mean, you'd 
                         like to have me live here in your 
                         house?

               Anne cuddles closer into his collar.

                                     ANNE
                         Sure. We can have the whole left 
                         wing and be all by ourselves all 
                         the time.

               Stew is slightly dazed.

               CLOSEUP - STEW

               He is slightly dazed.

                                     STEW
                              (cynically)
                         We could have the whole left wing? 
                         Wouldn't that be nice! Would that 
                         be room enough for us?

               123. TWO SHOT

                                     ANNE
                              (seriously - missing 
                              his sarcasm)
                         Oh darling, of course it would. If 
                         it isn't - there are six rooms and 
                         two baths - but if that isn't 
                         enough, Mother will give us the 
                         blue room too, I think.

                                     STEW
                         Oh, Mother will give us the blue 
                         room. You haven't a red room, have 
                         you?  Well, bless her heart. 
                         Wouldn't that be nice! My, oh my - 
                         six rooms and two baths and a blue 
                         room. I guess she would let us 
                         have the right wing if we needed 
                         it, wouldn't she?

                                     ANNE
                         But we don't need it, I'm sure.

                                     STEW
                         I see, we won't need that. Plenty 
                         of room, plenty of room.

               124. WIDER SHOT

               He gets up and paces the floor. He looks at Anne and sees 
               that she is taking him seriously. He drops down beside 
               her.

                                     STEW
                              (dropping his kidding)
                         Look Anne, you're not serious about 
                         this, are you?

                                     ANNE
                         Of course I am Stewart.

               CLOSER TWO SHOT

                                     STEW
                         Now let's get this settled—

               She cuddles closer, tweaking his nose.

                                     ANNE
                         You have the cutest nose I've—

                                     STEW
                         Never mind my nose. What kind of a 
                         chump do you think I am? You think 
                         I'm going to live here in your 
                         house - on your dough?  What do 
                         you think my friends would all 
                         say? Don't be silly. I'd get the 
                         razzing of my life for that. 'A 
                         bird in a gilded cage' - that's 
                         what I'd be. Not me. Oh no, not 
                         me!

                                     ANNE
                         What do you think my friends would 
                         say if they found me in a little 
                         cheap flat?

                                     STEW
                         It isn't cheap. It's nice.

                                     ANNE
                              (cuddling closer)
                         Listen Stew baby, let's not talk 
                         about things like that now—

                                     STEW
                         Wait a minute. I'll do anything 
                         you ask me, Anne, but I will not 
                         live—

                                     ANNE
                              (cuddling closer - 
                              and stroking his 
                              nose)
                         Oh, I love that nose. It's such a 
                         sweet nose.

               They kiss.

                                     STEW
                         Nevertheless, whether the nose is 
                         sweet or not, I'm not going to 
                         live in your house. You may as 
                         well get that straight.

               They kiss again, longer.

                                     STEW
                         You do want me to be happy, don't 
                         you? Then I'm not going to live in 
                         your house . . .

               They continue to kiss as . . .

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. STEW'S BEDROOM - MORNING

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               In bed, asleep, all curled up, his head on his arm. CAMERA 
               TRUCKS BACK showing the magnificent bedroom, with carved 
               wooden panellings, a raised, canopied bed. The clothes 
               that Stew has taken off the night before are draped 
               haphazardly about the room. When the Camera gets to a point 
               that takes in a LONG SHOT of the room, the door to the 
               hall opens and a correctly attired valet appears. He closes 
               the door noiselessly, goes over to the windows, and draws 
               the brocaded drapes aside. Then he crosses to a covered 
               object and with a small flourish removes the cover - 
               revealing a birdcage. He approaches the bed.

               127. CLOSER SHOT

               As Dawson the valet stops beside the bed. The valet leans 
               over and speaks distinctly.

                                     DAWSON
                         Mr. Smith, sir—

               There is no movement from the form on the bed.

                                     DAWSON
                         Mr. Smith, sir!

               Still no response. The valet taps the bedclothes-shrouded 
               shoulder gently.

                                     DAWSON
                         Mr. Smith, sir—

               Sleepily, Stew turns, his eyes heavy with sleep.

               128. MEDIUM SHOT

                                     DAWSON
                         How do you like your bath, sir?

                                     STEW
                         I like my bath all right. How do 
                         you like your bath?

               Stew peers up, puzzled.

                                     STEW
                         Who are you?

                                     DAWSON
                              (surprised)
                         I'm your valet, sir. Dawson is the 
                         name, sir.

                                     STEW
                         You're my what?

                                     DAWSON
                         Your valet, sir.

               Stew still stares at him. Then he nods to himself - thinks 
               he gets the idea. Stew kicks back the covers and sits on 
               the edge of the bed in his pajamas. Still sitting on the 
               edge of the bed, he starts to slip his feet into a pair of 
               slippers. The valet bends on one knee to help him.

                                     STEW
                         Thank you, thank you, thank you! 
                         I'll do that for you some time. 
                         That's very sweet. Say listen, 
                         what did you say your name was?

                                     DAWSON
                         Dawson, sir.

                                     STEW
                         Dawson, huh? Was I very drunk last 
                         night?

                                     DAWSON
                         Drunk, sir?

               Stew rises and starts to reach for a dressing gown, but 
               again the valet beats him to it - holding it for him and 
               helping him slip into it.

                                     STEW
                         Yes. I must have been pretty much 
                         plastered if I hired a valet.

                                     DAWSON
                         Oh, but you didn't engage me, sir.

               Stew, surprised, turns on him quickly.

                                     STEW
                         Who did engage you then, if I didn't 
                         engage you? What are you doing 
                         with my pants—

               The valet picks up his pants.

                                     STEW
                         Did you take anything out of those 
                         pants?

                                     DAWSON
                         Oh no, sir!

                                     STEW
                         What are you doing fooling around 
                         in here?

                                     DAWSON
                         Miss Schuyler - I mean, Mrs. Smith - 
                         she engaged me this morning, sir.

               Stew pulls out a cigarette. The valet, without missing a 
               beat, leans over and offers a light. A wary Stew accepts.

                                     STEW
                         Hmmm. So Mrs. Smith engaged me a 
                         valley, huh? That's very nice of 
                         Mrs. Smith - to engage me a valley.

               129. WIDER SHOT

               Stew walks over and gets a cigarette out of a box on a 
               small table, waving his hand in a gesture of dismissal. 
               The valet is right behind him, holding up his bathrobe for 
               Stew to step into.

                                     STEW
                              (putting on the 
                              bathrobe)
                         Say, you are nice. You're all right. 
                         You'd make a good wife.

                                     DAWSON
                         Thank you, sir.

                                     STEW
                         But not for me!  Though I like you 
                         well enough. You're a nice fellow. 
                         You're all right. But I'm sorry I 
                         don't need any valleys today.

               The valet pays no attention to him, but walks around the 
               room, picking up the clothes that Stew has flung about.

                                     DAWSON
                         Oh, but indeed you do, sir, if you 
                         don't mind my saying so. A 
                         gentleman's gentleman, as it were. 
                         Someone to draw your bath, lay out 
                         your clothes, help to dress you - 
                         it's really most essential, sir.

               Stew, with his cigarette between his lips, stands watching 
               the valet as he retrieves the various articles of cast-off 
               clothing. The valet's manner is somewhat patronizing. He 
               walks over to a chifferobe and starts opening the drawers, 
               preparatory to laying out fresh things for Stew. Suddenly, 
               Stew stalks over to him, takes him by the shoulder, and 
               yanks him around to face him.

               130. CLOSER SHOT - STEW AND DAWSON

               The valet is astonished and somewhat alarmed at the 
               belligerent expression on Stew's face.

                                     STEW
                              (over-sweetly)
                         Are you trying to tell me that I 
                         need someone to help me put on my 
                         pants and button them up?

                                     DAWSON
                         Quite so. Quite.

                                     STEW
                         Now I'm sorry. I appreciate your 
                         efforts. But I don't need anybody 
                         to help me button my pants - I've 
                         been buttoning my pants for thirty 
                         years all right, and I can button 
                         'em with one hand as a matter of 
                         fact.

                                     DAWSON
                         Now Mr. Smith, now please—

               Stew is rapidly losing his temper.

                                     STEW
                         You've got a nice face, Dawson, 
                         you wouldn't want anything to happen 
                         to your face, would you?

               The valet puts a bewildered hand to his face.

                                     DAWSON
                         Oh no, sir—

               Stew releases him with a definite motion toward the door.

                                     STEW
                         All right, outside!

                                     DAWSON
                              (bewildered)
                         I beg your pardon, sir?

                                     STEW
                              (gesturing violently)
                         Outside!

               The valet gazes at Stew as if he thinks the man is insane. 
               He is considerably alarmed.

                                     DAWSON
                         I think I understand, sir. You 
                         mean you want me to go?

                                     STEW
                              (smiling admiringly)
                         There you are. You caught on. You 
                         see, you're nice and you're smart 
                         too. You caught on right away. 
                         Outside! Go on! Outside! And don't 
                         come back!

               131. MEDIUM SHOT

               The valet starts edging toward the door.

                                     DAWSON
                         No, sir. No!

               Stew's eyes bulge as he notices the birdcage for the first 
               time.

                                     STEW
                         Wait a minute, what's this?

               INSERT: Birdcage.

               BACK TO SCENE:

                                     DAWSON
                         That's a canary, sir.

                                     STEW
                         That's a canary! Who brought that 
                         in here? Canary, huh? Go on, get 
                         that out of here. Get that out of 
                         here!

                                     DAWSON
                              (frightened)
                         Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

                                     STEW
                              (ranting)
                         A bird! A bird in a gilded cage! 
                         Get that thing out of here!

                                     DAWSON
                         Yes sir!

               The valet hurries off, carrying the birdcage. As he nears 
               the door, there is a light tap on the door connecting Stew's 
               room and Anne's. The door opens and Anne comes in, wearing 
               a ravishing and revealing negligee. She carries a small 
               jeweler's box in her hand. She crosses the room toward 
               Stew.

                                     ANNE
                         Good morning, darling.

               She looks over and sees Dawson at the hall door.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, Dawson, see that all Mr. Smith's 
                         clothes go to the cleaners this 
                         morning, please, will you?

               The valet bows. Stew looks at her blankly.

                                     DAWSON
                         Very good, madame.

               He closes the door discreetly and goes out.

               132. CLOSER SHOT - ANNE AND STEW

               As they hug.

                                     STEW
                         Say, who is this mug?

               Anne sits down on the rumpled bed.

                                     ANNE
                         I've got a present. Shut your eyes. 
                         Keep 'em closed. I know you're 
                         going to love them.

                                     STEW
                              (eyes closed, feeling 
                              the package)
                         Little - couldn't be an automobile, 
                         could it?
                              (he opens the package)
                         Well, well! Ain't that nice!

               He holds them up - expensive garters.

                                     ANNE
                         Do you like them?

                                     STEW
                         Got my initials on them too. They're 
                         cute. They're nice little things - 
                         what do you do with them?

                                     ANNE
                         You wear them of course, silly.

                                     STEW
                         Oh no. No, no. Not me. I haven't 
                         worn these things for Years.

                                     ANNE
                         I know that.

                                     STEW
                         Besides I'd look foolish. I couldn't 
                         look Gallagher in the face.

                                     ANNE
                         Darling, I don't care whether you 
                         can look Gallagher in the face or 
                         not, but you're gonna be a good 
                         boy and wear garters.

                                     STEW
                         Honey, I love you. I'll eat spinach 
                         for you. I'll go to the dentist 
                         twice a year for you. I'll wash 
                         behind my ears for you. But I will 
                         never wear garters!

               His arms go about Anne. Under the force of his embrace 
               Anne sinks back on the pillows. Stew leans forward looking 
               down at her.

               133. CLOSE TWO SHOT - STEW AND ANNE

               Nose to nose.

                                     ANNE
                              (adopting a sing-
                              song)
                         Oh, yes you will my dear - oh, yes 
                         you will my dear - you'll wear 
                         garters and you'll like it too!

                                     STEW
                              (picking up her 
                              sing-song)
                         Oh, no I won't my dear - oh, no I 
                         won't my dear - I'll wash behind 
                         my ears, but no I won't my dear!

               He bends to kiss her again, but she gently resists, and 
               continues the sing-song.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, yes you will my dear - oh, yes 
                         you will my dear - you'll eat 
                         spinach but you'll wear garters 
                         too!

                                     STEW
                         Oh, you can't carry a tune - you 
                         can't carry a tune - all you are 
                         good for is to sit and spoon, spoon. 
                         Oh no, I won't wear garters—

                                     ANNE
                         Oh yes you will wear garters—

               They melt into each other's arms.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. CITY ROOM OF NEWSPAPER OFFICE - DAY

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               General activity, as before.

               CAMERA TRUCKS DOWN THE MAIN AISLE until it centers on Stew 
               at his desk, sitting low in his chair, his feet cocked up 
               on the corner of his desk, reading a newspaper CAMERA TRUCKS 
               UP CLOSER centering on his feet on the desk. One trouser 
               leg is pulled slightly up and reveals a garter.

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               Stew, reading the newspaper. It is opened up before his 
               face.

               INSERT: Headlines - about a three-column article:

               ANNE SCHUYLER AND CINDERELLA HUBBY TO OCCUPY SCHUYLER 
               MANSION

               As Stew reads this, he looks very glum and depressed.

               136. MEDIUM SHOT

               A reporter, the one Stew had socked with a wad of paper in 
               an earlier sequence, shambles past and stops abruptly, 
               staring at Stew's feet.

               INSERT: Of what he sees. Stew's feet. The socks are 
               strangely taut.

               BACK TO SCENE:

               The reporter glances up and sees that Stew cannot see him, 
               and then carefully lifts Stew's trouser leg a few inches.

               INSERT: Stew's feet and legs. As the reporter's hand lifts 
               the trouser leg, the fancy solid-gold garters are on full 
               display.

               BACK TO SCENE:

               The reporter stares at them goggle-eyed. He can hardly 
               contain himself at the sight of the garters. He looks off:

                                     REPORTER
                              (cautiously)
                         Psst!

               137. WIDER SHOT

               One or two other reporters hear him and look over curiously. 
               The reporter looks very mysterious and important and makes 
               a motion for silence and caution. They get up and cross on 
               tip-toe to join him.

               138. MEDIUM SHOT

               The men around Stew. They quietly gather around his feet 
               and the reporter who made the discovery proudly displays 
               his find. One or two more step by and all stare. Stew still 
               has the paper up in front of his face.

                                     FIRST REPORTER
                         Is it real?

                                     2ND REPORTER
                         Of course it's real!

                                     3RD REPORTER
                         Any diamonds on them?

                                     REPORTER
                         Musta set him back at least six 
                         bits.

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               Stew. (Camera behind him and shooting over his head.) He 
               is suddenly attracted by this unusual conversation and 
               lowers his paper, revealing the group of six or seven men 
               in a huddle round his feet.

                                     2ND REPORTER
                         One just can't wear those and be 
                         decent.

                                     3RD REPORTER
                         Yes you can, if you belong to the 
                         Four Hundred.[12]

                                     2ND REPORTER
                         I wonder what number he is.

               Stew flares in anger. Several of them are bending low to 
               get a close peek. With a violent gesture, Stew kicks his 
               foot forward and sends a couple of them sprawling. Stew 
               gets to his feet.

                                     STEW
                         Go on, get out of there! What's 
                         the matter with you mugs? Didn't 
                         you ever see a guy with a pair of 
                         garters on before?

               140. MEDIUM SHOT

               The two reporters who have done most of the talking scramble 
               to their feet. The second reporter speaks in mock 
               perplexity.

                                     REPORTER
                         What do you suppose he wears them 
                         for?

                                     2ND REPORTER
                         Can it be possible to hold his 
                         socks up?

                                     3RD REPORTER
                         Yeah, exactly.
                              (effeminately)
                         You know, one's hose look horribly 
                         untidy when they hang loose-like, 
                         don't you think so, percifield?

               Stew gets up as his phone rings. He pays no attention to 
               it. Hank, another reporter, answers.

                                     4TH REPORTER
                              (same effeminacy)
                         Yes, my dear chap - they look 
                         ghastly - they look ghastly!

                                     STEW
                         Go on! Screw! Get out of here!

               He starts out when Hank calls to him:

                                     HANK
                         Hey, Stew!

               Stew turns.

                                     HANK
                              (indicating phone)
                         Your policeman!

               Stew comes back and, frowning, picks up the phone.

               141. CLOSE SHOT

               Stew at phone.

                                     STEW
                         Hello? Oh hello dear. Wait just a 
                         minute—
                              (to reporters, 
                              hovering around)
                         Come on! Beat it, will you? Screw! 
                         Screw! This is my wife! In your 
                         respective chapeaux and over your 
                         cauliflower ears.

                                     REPORTERS
                              (ad-lib teasing 
                              comments as they 
                              exit scene)

               INT. ANNE'S BEDROOM

               CLOSEUP - ANNE

               She is lying on her stomach on a rubbing table, as used by 
               a masseuse. We see a considerable part of her back, on 
               which a middle-aged Swedish masseuse is industriously 
               working. Anne has the telephone in her hand. Throughout 
               her scene, we hear very telling whacks:

                                     ANNE
                              (into phone)
                         But it's nearly six o'clock darling, 
                         and you know how long it takes you 
                         to dress.
                              (pause)
                         But the Ambassador is coming at 
                         eight, and you've got to be ready 
                         by the time he gets here.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               EXT. SCHUYLER LONG ISLAND ESTATE

               LONG SHOT OF ESTATE

                                                          DISSOLVE INTO:

               EXT. FRONT ENTRANCE GATE

               Two footmen stand at either side of a huge iron gate. Cars 
               and limousines are arriving, dropping off guests in evening 
               wear.

               INT. CORRIDOR SCHUYLER HOME

               145. Gallagher is just entering. Smythe holds door open 
               for her.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I'd like to see Miss Wilson, please.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Who shall I say, madam?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Miss Gallagher of the Post.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, miss.

               He leaves.

               INT. SCHUYLER RECEPTION HALL

               MOSS AND FONTANA are doing a beautiful tango. Guests 
               scattered around the room, watching interestedly.

                                                            CUT BACK TO:

               INT. CORRIDOR SCHUYLER HOME

               Gallagher is still waiting. Smythe enters, leading Miss 
               Wilson, a refined-looking girl of 26 or so, her hand 
               extended.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Miss Gallagher of the Post.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         Oh yes - of course. Miss Gallagher?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yes.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         I'm Miss Wilson - Mrs. Schuyler's 
                         social secretary.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I was sent from the Post in place 
                         of our social editor.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         Yes, of course. Miss Ramsey 
                         telephoned me. Well, what would 
                         you like to have?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Why, a list of the guests. That's 
                         the usual thing, isn't it?

                                     MISS WILSON
                         Yes, of course. I'll get it for 
                         you—

                                     (SMILING)
                         In the meantime, would you like to 
                         take a look around?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yes, thank you.

               The CAMERA MOVES WITH THEM as they start for the Reception 
               Room.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         That's a lovely dress.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Thank you.
                              (pause)
                         Where is Mr. Smith?

                                     MISS WILSON
                         Mr. Smith? Oh, you mean Ann 
                         Schuyler's husband?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yes.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         He's probably very tired. You see, 
                         he's had to meet all these people 
                         personally tonight.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I bet.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         You newspaper people have a lot of 
                         fun with him, don't you? What is 
                         it you call him - the Cinderella 
                         Man?

                                                                 CUT TO:

               INT. ENTRANCE OF BALLROOM

               Moss and Fontana are just finishing their dance. Gallagher 
               stands in doorway with Miss Wilson, watching them. Excited 
               voices comment on the dance. Miss Wilson beckons to 
               Gallagher to follow her.

               CAMERA TRUCKS with them as they weave in and out of crowd. 
               Miss Wilson points out celebrated guests to her.

                                     MISS WILSON
                         There's the Spanish Ambassador.

               Gallagher steals a glance at the celebrated gentleman.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         You know, he looks like one.

               Miss Wilson laughs delightedly. At this point they are 
               interrupted by a butler.

               149. MEDIUM SHOT

                                     BUTLER
                         Miss Wilson—

                                     MISS WILSON
                         Yes?

                                     BUTLER
                         Mrs. Smith would like to see you.

                                     MISS WILSON
                              (to Gallagher)
                         Will you excuse me? Make yourself 
                         at home for just a moment, please.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Thanks.

               Miss Wilson follows butler out of scene. Gallagher is left 
               alone. She wanders about the huge ballroom, peering here 
               and there, searching for Stew. Finally she comes to a large 
               open French door and steps out.

               INT. TERRACE LEADING OFF SCHUYLER BALLROOM

               Several groups of men and women are seated at tables. 
               Gallagher enters from ballroom, glances quickly at all the 
               men. Disappointed at not finding Stew, she crosses terrace 
               and descends broad stone steps and advances into garden.

               INT. SECLUDED SPOT IN GARDEN

               Stew, his head cupped in his hands, is seated on a stone 
               bench. Gallagher wanders into scene. She sees Stew and 
               stops. Stew does not move. Gallagher, with a happy smile 
               on her lips, moves closer to him. Stew suddenly becomes 
               conscious of someone near him and looks suddenly up. He 
               sees Gallagher; his face breaks into a happy grin.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Mr. Smith, I've read some of your 
                         plays and I'd like an autograph.

                                     STEW
                         Well, well! If it isn't my old 
                         friend! Turn around, gal! Let's 
                         get a look at you.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         There you are—!

               CLOSER SHOT OF THE TWO

                                     STEW
                         Well, daughter of the slums - how 
                         did you get out of the ghetto?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I'm pinch-hitting for our society 
                         editor tonight. I wanted to see 
                         some life in the raw.

                                     STEW
                         Aw, you wanted to see some life in 
                         the raw, huh? Well gal, I'm afraid 
                         we ain't got no raw life up here.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Well, I'll have to look someplace 
                         else.

                                     STEW
                         No, no! Maybe we could interest 
                         you in some well done butterflies, 
                         or perhaps some slightly fried 
                         pansies, or better still, some 
                         stuffed shirts. And guaranteed 
                         every one of them will give you a 
                         good stiff pain in the neck.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (fixing his tie)
                         Say, who's been tying your ties 
                         lately? It looks rotten.

               He suddenly realizes there's something different about 
               Gallagher. He takes a step back so as to look her over 
               carefully - blinks his eyes.

                                     STEW
                         Gee Gallagher, do you look good! 
                         What are you doing to yourself?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Nothing.

                                     STEW
                         What did you do to that hair? And 
                         where did you get that dress?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I dyed one and washed the other.

                                     STEW
                              (enthusiastically)
                         Oh, you dyed one and washed the 
                         other. Well! You certainly look 
                         good.

               153. ANOTHER PART OF THE GARDEN

               Anne is walking in direction of Stew and Gallagher. She 
               stops suddenly when she sees them. Her body stiffens.

                                                            CUT BACK TO:

               ANOTHER SHOT - STEW AND GALLAGHER

               From Anne's angle. Gallagher is facing in the direction of 
               Anne.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Don't turn around now - but there's 
                         a very beautiful girl up there who 
                         seems to be staring at us.

                                     STEW
                         Staring at us?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         My mistake - she's glaring.

                                     STEW
                         Must be my wife.

               He turns - sees Anne.

                                     STEW
                         It is my wife. Hi Anne. Don't go 
                         away. Stay right there, because 
                         I'm going to bring a friend up I 
                         want you to meet.

               They exit.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT - ANNE

               Standing as before. She is looking off with slightly 
               narrowed eyes. Stew and Gallagher come up to her.

                                     STEW
                         Anne, prepare yourself for the 
                         treat of your life. This is 
                         Gallagher.

                                     ANNE
                              (astounded)
                         Gallagher!

                                     STEW
                         Sure - my pal on the paper. She's 
                         subbing for the society editor 
                         tonight.

               Anne turns an acid smile on the uncomfortable Gallagher.

               CLOSER THREE SHOT

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, yes, of course. How do you do?

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher, this is Mrs. Smith.

               Anne winces slightly at this name.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         How do you do?

               There is a short, awkward pause.

                                     ANNE
                              (bitter-sweet)
                         You know, Stewart, you failed to 
                         mention that Miss Gallagher was a 
                         very beautiful young girl.

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher?

               Gallagher flashes a look at Stew - seeing that he fails to 
               get the dynamite behind Anne's casually pleasant phrases. 
               Anne plunges ahead. Her tone is unmistakable now.

                                     ANNE
                         Yes. As a matter of fact, you failed 
                         to mention that Gallagher was a 
                         girl.

                                     STEW
                              (surprised)
                         Didn't I? That's funny. Isn't it 
                         funny?

                                     ANNE
                              (with a world of 
                              meaning)
                         Yes - isn't it?

               156. CLOSE SHOT - STEW AND ANNE

               Stew is beginning to realize that all is not well as it 
               could be.

                                     STEW
                         You see, we never look at Gallagher 
                         as a girl—

               He breaks off.

                                     ANNE
                              (with her eyes on 
                              Gallagher)
                         No? What do you look upon her as?

                                     STEW
                              (fumbling for words)
                         Why, down at the office, we always 
                         look at Gallagher as - eh - just 
                         Gallagher, that's all.

               CAMERA PANS QUICKLY TO CLOSE SHOT of GALLAGHER. She tries 
               to back Stew up.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (not so comfortable 
                              herself)
                         They all consider me just as one 
                         of the boys.

                                     STEW
                         Right!

               MED. SHOT OF THE THREE

                                     ANNE
                              (a deadly acid smile)
                         Indeed? How interesting.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (same kind of smile)
                         Yes - isn't it.

               Anne takes Stew's arm, drawing him away from Gallagher.

                                     ANNE
                         Miss Wilson will give you the guest 
                         list and any other details you may 
                         need, Miss Gallagher.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (resenting the tone 
                              of dismissal)
                         Thank you. I'll go and look for 
                         her at once. Goodbye, Mrs. Smith.

                                     ANNE
                         Goodbye, Miss Gallagher.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Goodbye, Stew—

               She leaves scene.

               158. MED. CLOSE SHOT - STEW AND ANNE

               Stew turns and faces her.

                                     STEW
                         That was kind of a rotten thing to 
                         do, Anne. After all, Gallagher is 
                         my friend. The least you can do is 
                         be courteous to her.

                                     ANNE
                         I thought I was very charming, 
                         Stewart.

                                     STEW
                         You did? That's a lot of hooey! 
                         I'll go and apologize.

               He promptly walks away from her in Gallagher's direction.

                                     ANNE
                              (furious)
                         Stewart, please!

               She glares angrily at the departing Stew.

               EXT. TERRACE

               159. CLOSE SHOT

               Gallagher has just reached the ballroom when Stew catches 
               up to her.

                                     STEW
                         I'm sorry, Gallagher - really, I 
                         am sorry.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (reassuringly)
                         Oh, that's all right, Stew. Forget 
                         it. As far as she's concerned, I'm 
                         just part of the hired help.

                                     STEW
                         No, no. Strange, I've never seen 
                         Anne act that way before. (pause) 
                         It's funny I never thought to tell 
                         her you were a girl, isn't it?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yes.

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               The butler is just opening the door. Bingy, looking more 
               disreputable than usual, steps inside.

                                     BINGY
                         Hello, there, Meadows![13]

                                     SMYTHE
                              (disapproving once-
                              over)
                         Who is it you wish to see, sir?

                                     BINGY
                         I want to see Stew Smith. Oh excuse 
                         me - I mean Mr. Smith.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Pardon me, Mr. Smith is engaged. 
                         We are having a reception here 
                         this evening—

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, a party! Great, great! Jolly 
                         times and merry pranks. That's me. 
                         I'm a guy who loves parties. You 
                         know—

               He is distracted by two elegantly-dressed ladies strolling 
               by.

                                     BINGY
                         —a beautiful pair of shoulders!  
                         But listen now, as a favor, will 
                         you please make it snappy, Laughing 
                         Waters,[14] and tell Stew Smith I 
                         gotta see him because if you don't 
                         my whole family's going to die.

                                     SMYTHE
                         I'll tell Mr. Smith at once, sir. 
                         Have a seat.

                                     BINGY
                         Well, I got a seat, but I have no 
                         place to put it.

               The butler turns to leave, then turns back, his face 
               expressing distinct disapproval.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Pardon me, sir, but I've heard 
                         that one before.

               INT. SCHUYLER BALLROOM

               161. CLOSE SHOT

               Stew and Gallagher standing together. The butler is seen 
               leaving the scene, having just informed Stew of Bingy's 
               presence at the reception.

                                     STEW
                              (to Gallagher)
                         Excuse me. I just want to make 
                         sure and see he doesn't take away 
                         any of the vases.
                              (starts to leave, 
                              then turns back)
                         Well, well, well! My little pal, 
                         Gallagher, a girl, huh?
                              (unexpectedly, he 
                              bends to kiss her 
                              hand tenderly)
                         That's just to give you an idea 
                         that I know how to treat a gal.  
                         Get fresh with me and I'll sock 
                         you in that little nose of yours. 
                         Excuse me. I'll be right back.

               He exits. Gallagher is left staring at her hand wonderingly.

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL

               162. MED. SHOT

               Bingy gets up from his throne chair, and crosses into the 
               doorway of the library opposite him. He stops by a carved 
               low-boy, and curiously examines a large antique vase.  
               Stew comes in and stops with a smile as he sees him.

               Bingy, his hand on the vase, looks up. Stew walks over to 
               him.

                                     STEW
                              (referring to vase)
                         What's the matter, Bingy, a little 
                         clumsy to get in your pocket?

               Bingy sets down the vase and surveys him.

                                     BINGY
                         No. I was just looking at it. 
                         Pretty, ain't it? I was just looking 
                         for the price tag.

               INT. SCHUYLER LIBRARY

               CLOSER SHOT OF THE TWO

               Bingy looks him up and down in silent, insolent scrutiny. 
               Stew begins to burn.

                                     STEW
                         What do you want?

                                     BINGY
                         Oh, nothing. I just blew over - I 
                         wanted to see how the old newshound 
                         looked made up for a gentleman.

                                     STEW
                              (sore)
                         Would you like to have me turn 
                         around for you, Bingy?

                                     BINGY
                         Oh boy, I'd love it.

               Stew makes a complete turn and faces Bingy again.

                                     STEW
                         How's that?

                                     BINGY
                              (appraisingly)
                         Not bad - not good - but not bad. 
                         You ought to be able to fool about 
                         almost anybody.

                                     STEW
                         Is that so? Well, have you seen 
                         enough - or would you like a 
                         photograph?

                                     BINGY
                         A photograph? What's the matter? 
                         Hasn't mama had you done in oils 
                         yet?
                              (singing)
                         "Just A Gigolo . . . "

                                     STEW
                         Now get this mug. You've got the 
                         kind of chin I just love to touch.  
                         And if you don't get out of here, 
                         I'm going to hang one right on it.

               Bingy assumes a conciliatory attitude.

                                     BINGY
                         Take it easy! Take it easy, Dempsey. 
                         Just relax, my boy, relax and open 
                         your pores.

               CLOSER TWO SHOT

               Stew glares at him. Bingy goes on.

                                     BINGY
                         I bring a message from Garcia.

                                     STEW
                         Yeah?

                                     BINGY
                         Yeah. The boss sent me over to 
                         offer you a job. He wants you to 
                         write a daily column on the Tribune.

                                     STEW
                              (skeptically)
                         Yeah - go on.

                                     BINGY
                         It's all right. You can write your 
                         own ticket. A hundred and fifty 
                         bucks a week.

                                     STEW
                              (thinks a bit - 
                              quietly)
                         I'll bite. What's the catch?

                                     BINGY
                         There's no catch. This is on the 
                         up and up. Of course all you have 
                         to do is just sign the article - 
                         by Anne Schuyler's Husband.

               165. MED. SHOT

               Taking in the doorway. The butler starts to pass by. Stew's 
               eyes are blazing.

                                     BINGY
                         Well, how does the old Cinderella 
                         man feel about that?

               With a quick motion, Stew clips Bingy on the jaw. Bingy, 
               caught unawares, reels backward.

               CLOSER SHOT IN DOORWAY

               Bingy describes a backward arc, just as Smythe, the butler, 
               seeing he can be of service, steps forward and catches 
               him.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Well done, sir. Very neat.

                                     STEW
                              (through his teeth)
                         That's what I think of it, Bingy!

               Bingy sags in the butler's arms. The butler looks at Stew 
               inquiringly. Stew nods.

                                     STEW
                              (to butler)
                         Smythe, the - er - gentleman is 
                         leaving.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, sir.

               Bingy is carried out. Stew stands glaring after them.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               INT. SCHUYLER HOME

               MEDIUM CLOSE SHOT

               Anne and her mother at the breakfast table.

                                     ANNE
                         Good morning, Mother. Didn't I 
                         tell you that he'd be marvelous. 
                         Everybody thought he was so charming 
                         last night.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         I was so worried for fear he'd 
                         knock over a vase or something. I 
                         must have acted like an idiot.
                              (notices the morning 
                              paper in Anne's 
                              hands)
                         What does it say about the reception 
                         last night?

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, the usual thing. Blah, blah, 
                         blah attended the blah, blah 
                         reception and wore the same blah, 
                         blah things.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (reproachfully)
                         Stop it. Anne. You're behaving 
                         like the person you're married to.

                                     ANNE
                         You don't have anything to complain 
                         about, Mother. He was all right 
                         last night, wasn't he? I told you 
                         not to worry about him.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         It was a miracle. The man was ill 
                         or something.

               She suddenly notices front page of paper Anne is reading. 
               Her face freezes in horror. She screams.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (screaming)
                         Ah-ah-ah!

                                     ANNE
                         Mother!

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (frantically 
                              gesturing at paper)
                         Look! Look! The front page!

               Anne turns paper and reads the article.

                                                                 CUT TO:

               INSERT: NEWSPAPER

               CINDERELLA MAN GROWS HAIR ON CHEST ATTACKS REPORTER IN 
               SCHUYLER HOME.

               "I wear the pants," says Anne Schuyler's husband.

               "It's Okay with me," says Anne.

               168. MEDIUM SHOT

               Mrs. Schuyler gets up. Paces wildly about room. In a frenzy.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         I knew it! I knew it! I felt it in 
                         my bones!

               She is interrupted by the entrance of Grayson, who dashes 
               into the room, his eyes ablaze. In his hand he has a copy 
               of the morning paper.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (tapping paper in 
                              hand)
                         Did you see the papers? "Cinderella 
                         Man Grows Hair On Chest!" This is 
                         the most terrible kind of publicity 
                         that could possibly—

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (interrupting)
                         Don't you think I know it, Grayson?
                              (as Smythe the butler 
                              enters with tray)
                         Smith - send for Mr. Smythe! Er - 
                         Smythe, send for Mr. Smith!

                                     SMYTHE
                              (as he turns to go)
                         Double-strength!

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (muttering, as she 
                              exits scene)
                         "Cinderella Man Grows Hair On 
                         Chest!"

                                     GRAYSON
                              (close behind, 
                              contemptuously)
                         "I wear the pants," says Anne 
                         Schuyler's husband!

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL - DAY

               169. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew, now dressed in a business suit, comes from the 
               direction of the stairs and stops just before he gets to 
               the door of the drawing room. From within there is an 
               ominous silence. Stew looks longingly in the direction of 
               the front door - then back at the drawing room, squares 
               his shoulders and goes in.

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM

               170. CLOSE SHOT

               As Stew stops just inside the doorway. He had been prepared 
               for this, but it strikes terror into his soul, just the 
               same.

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               From his angle in the doorway. The jury - Dexter Grayson, 
               hands behind his back - is standing, gazing at Stew with a 
               fishy eye. Mrs. Schuyler stares haughtily. Anne is crying 
               softly.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 170

               Stew - looking around at the gallery of faces. Then he 
               forces a jaunty smile to his face as he starts to enter, 
               whistling as he goes.

                                     STEW
                         Good morning, everybody—
                              (he gets a cold, 
                              frigid, silent 
                              reception)
                         Well, maybe it isn't a good morning, 
                         huh?
                              (to Anne)
                         Anne, did you ever get the feeling 
                         that there was someone else in the 
                         room with you?

               172. MEDIUM SHOT

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Have you seen this?
                              (shows him newspaper)

                                     STEW
                         Yes - the worm!

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         I beg your pardon?

                                     STEW
                         He's a worm - and I'm gonna step 
                         on him!

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         To engage in a brawl! A cheap, 
                         common brawl, in my own home! "I 
                         wear the pants!" The pants ! Not 
                         even the trousers!

                                     GRAYSON
                         I've tried to stop the evening 
                         papers, but it's useless.

               173. CLOSER SHOT - STEW AND GRAYSON

                                     STEW
                         You quit trying to stop anybody—

                                     GRAYSON
                         Well, at best you might deny it.

                                     STEW
                         Why deny it? The more you deny, 
                         the more they print. Let them alone! 
                         The thing to do is to sit still 
                         and keep our traps shut.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Traps shut!

                                     STEW
                         Certainly! I'll take care of this 
                         guy Bingy myself, personally.
                              (sees Anne crying)
                         Now what are you crying about?

               174. MEDIUM SHOT

                                     ANNE
                         Is this true, Stewart? Did you 
                         really say it?

                                     STEW
                         Yes, I said it. Sure, I said it. I 
                         didn't say it for publication, 
                         however.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         And you struck him right here in 
                         our house—?

                                     STEW
                         Yes, I'm sorry, I struck him right 
                         here in your house. And I'll strike 
                         anybody in anybody's house that 
                         calls me a Cinderella Man.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Well, what else do you expect them 
                         to call you?

                                     ANNE
                         Dexter.

               CLOSEUP - STEW

                                     STEW
                              (burning)
                         That's the fourteenth crack you've 
                         made to me. I'm keeping count. 
                         When you get to twenty, I'm gonna 
                         sock you right on the nose. As a 
                         matter of fact, I ought to sock 
                         you right now.

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Anne Schuyler, are you going to 
                         sit there and watch this man insult 
                         us? Haven't you any decency left?

                                     ANNE
                              (defending him)
                         Why doesn't Dexter show some 
                         decency? And you might show some 
                         too, Mother. What do you expect a 
                         man to do when he's called such 
                         names?
                              (to Stew)
                         I'm glad you hit that reporter, 
                         Stewart. He deserved it.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (rising)
                         All right, all right! It's your 
                         funeral, Anne Schuyler!

               She flounces out. Grayson remains behind.

                                     STEW
                              (to Grayson)
                         Go on, beat it, shadow.

               Grayson turns to go, then braves the last word.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Cinderella Man! That's fifteen.

               He leaves in a huff. Stew puts his arms around the crying 
               Anne.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM

               177. FULL SHOT

               Six or eight people of distinction scattered around the 
               room. All dressed in full evening clothes. Among them is 
               Grayson, Anne, her mother, and one man in aviator's uniform. 
               The men have their coats and hats in their hands, the women 
               have their evening wraps on. Apparently they are ready to 
               leave for someplace and are being detained. An indistinct 
               murmur of ad-lib conversation is heard.

               178. CLOSE SHOT

               On Smythe, the butler, as he approaches Mrs. Schuyler.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Pardon me, madam. They phoned 
                         through from the Mayor's committee 
                         to remind you it's past the hour 
                         for the reception.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Are the cars ready?

                                     SMYTHE
                         They've been ready for the last 
                         half hour.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT - GROUP

               Including Captain White, a young, handsome aviator.

                                     AVIATOR
                              (modestly)
                         I hope I don't have to make any 
                         speeches tonight, Anne.

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, you can't disappoint all the 
                         women. After all it isn't every 
                         day they get to see a famous round-
                         the-world flier.

                                     AVIATOR
                         Yes, I know, but they scare me to 
                         death. This is the fourth dinner 
                         you've taken me to this week. I'm 
                         running out of material.

                                     ANNE
                         Are you complaining?

                                     AVIATOR
                         Yes, there are always too many 
                         other people around.

                                     LADY
                         Anne, it's getting late. What are 
                         we waiting for?

                                     ANNE
                         We're waiting for my husband—
                              (lightly, concealing 
                              her irritation)
                         If you'll excuse me, I'll run up 
                         and see what the slowpoke's doing.
                              (to aviator)
                         I'll be right back—

               She starts out, climbing stairs to Stew's room.

               INT. STEW'S BEDROOM

               180. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew stands in front of a mirror, fumbling with his dress 
               tie. He pauses, his hands still on his tie.

                                     ANNE
                              (reproachfully)
                         Stewart! We're all waiting for 
                         you. Where's your valet?

                                     STEW
                         I poisoned him.

                                     ANNE
                         Stop trying to be funny, and get 
                         ready, will you?

               As he struggles with his collar, it springs off.

                                     STEW
                         I'm not going!

                                     ANNE
                         What are you talking about?

                                     STEW
                         I'm talking about - I'm not going 
                         out.

               CLOSEUP - ANNE

                                     ANNE
                              (controlling her 
                              anger)
                         What am I going downstairs and 
                         tell those people?

                                     STEW
                         Go downstairs, and tell them - 
                         anything. Tell them I'm not going. 
                         Tell them I'm not home.

                                     ANNE
                              (getting angrier by 
                              the minute)
                         Stewart, would you mind telling me 
                         why you're not going?

               CLOSEUP - STEW

                                     STEW
                         Yes, I'll tell you - for the same 
                         reason I've never wanted to go out 
                         with those social parasites, those 
                         sweet-smelling fashion plates. I 
                         don't like them. They bore me. 
                         They give me the jitters.

                                     ANNE'S VOICE
                         Do you know you're talking about 
                         my friends?

                                     STEW
                         Yes, I'm talking about your friends, 
                         and they still give me the jitters.

               183. DOUBLE SHOT

                                     ANNE
                         Well, are you going - or aren't 
                         you?

               Stew makes a move to embrace her.

                                     STEW
                         Anne, come here. Listen—

                                     ANNE
                              (sternly - slipping 
                              away from him)
                         Look out for my lipstick, Stewart.

                                     STEW
                         I'll tell you what. Let's you and 
                         me sneak out all by ourselves—

                                     ANNE
                              (interrupting)
                         Are you crazy?

                                     STEW
                         Think of the fun we can have - 
                         we'll sneak down the back stairs 
                         and get in the valet's Ford. How's 
                         that?

                                     ANNE
                         Will you stop being silly, Stewart?

                                     STEW
                              (trying hard)
                         I'll tell you what let's do - I'll 
                         take you and introduce you to all 
                         my gang. Would you like that?

                                     ANNE
                              (hard)
                         But I don't want to meet your gang.

                                     STEW
                         I don't mean the newspaper fellows 
                         that you don't like. Another gang 
                         I know - you'd love them. They're 
                         writers and musicians and artists - 
                         a great crowd of people - people 
                         who do great things. People who 
                         are worthwhile.

                                     ANNE
                         Meaning, my friends aren't 
                         worthwhile, I suppose?

                                     STEW
                         Oh, they're all right, Anne. But 
                         I—

                                     ANNE
                              (interrupting 
                              belligerently)
                         That's exactly what you mean. Heaven 
                         knows you've made that clear to me 
                         often enough. Well, I'm sick and 
                         tired of it. I've given you party 
                         after party - I've taken you to 
                         some of the best houses in this 
                         town - and introduced you to people 
                         of importance - and are you 
                         grateful? No! You insult them and 
                         act like a bore. I'm sick and tired 
                         of having to make excuses for you 
                         and the things that you've done. 
                         Perhaps it's just as well you're 
                         not coming tonight. Maybe I can 
                         enjoy myself for once without having 
                         to worry about you, and what you're 
                         going to do.

               With which violent declaration, she flounces out of the 
               room, leaving Stew staring after her, angry and hurt. 
               Impulsively, he follows her to the door - a retort on his 
               lips. When he gets there, however, she has vanished. He 
               returns to the room, wanders about thoughtfully, extracts 
               cigarette from box, fumbles it - walks to window - stares 
               out - turns back to room - heaves a lonely sigh.

               He notices his reflection in the mirror, and gestures toward 
               it.

                                     STEW
                         And that, my friends, is what is 
                         known as the society belle telling 
                         ex-star-newspaper-reporter to go 
                         to - how-have-you-been, Mr. Smith!

               184. CLOSE SHOT

               As Stew sits in a typewriter chair. He rolls up the sheet 
               in the machine so that he can read what is already written.

               INSERT: TYPEWRITTEN SHEET, IN TYPEWRITER

                                     ACT 1
                         SCENE 1

               AN HACIENDA IN MEXICO

               Strumming of guitars are dimly heard.

               BACK TO SCENE:

               He studies it for a moment, frowning in dissatisfaction. 
               He's stuck. He leans back in the chair and looks up for 
               inspiration.

               INSERT: A BIG CLOCK, TICKING AWAY THE TIME.

               INT. SCHUYLER GRAND FOYER

               185. LONG SHOT

               Of Stew Smith pacing the grand foyer. Seen from overhead, 
               he is dwarfed by the surroundings. He tries hopscotching 
               on the pattern of the floor. That wears thin quickly. 
               Supremely bored, Stew gives a shout and is rewarded with a 
               cavernous echo. Smythe the butler then appears, nervously 
               crouched behind some grillwork.

               186. MEDIUM SHOT - STEW AND SMYTHE

                                     SMYTHE
                         Did you call, sir?

                                     STEW
                         Smythe, come here. I want to talk 
                         to you.
                              (Smythe looks 
                              unenthusiastic.)
                         Come on, Smythe, talk to me. Smythe, 
                         I'm going nuts. I'm going nuts in 
                         this house! This big . . . come 
                         on, I'm not going to hurt you. 
                         Come on, what's the matter with 
                         you?

               Stew gives another shout and is rewarded with another loud 
               echo. This coaxes Smythe out from behind the grillwork.

                                     STEW
                         Shhh! Do you hear something?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, sir.

                                     STEW
                         You try it.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (reluctant)
                         Me, sir?

                                     STEW
                         Yeah.

               Smythe gives it a timid try.

                                     STEW
                         No, no. Give it more volume.

               Smythe gives a more satisfactory yell. Stew nods approval. 
               Smythe begins yelling and shouting in earnest.

                                     STEW
                         No, that's enough. I just wanted 
                         you to get the idea. Now you know. 
                         This house is haunted.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (incredulous)
                         No, sir!

                                     STEW
                         Yes. Have you looked in the closets 
                         all over . . .?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, sir.

                                     STEW
                         Found no skeletons?

                                     SMYTHE
                         No, sir.

                                     STEW
                         It's haunted just the same.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes, sir.

               Smythe has heard enough. He turns to leave, but Stew grabs 
               him.

                                     STEW
                         Smythe, what do you do with yourself - 
                         I mean, when you're not carrying 
                         those double-strength - what do 
                         you do with yourself?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Well, sir, I putter.

                                     STEW
                         Smythe! I mean - when you're alone 
                         and want to amuse yourself, then 
                         what?

                                     SMYTHE
                         I just putter.

                                     STEW
                         Hmmm, you just putter. Do you have 
                         to have a putter to putter?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Oh no, sir. I putter with me hands.

                                     STEW
                         Well, isn't that nice? You just go 
                         right ahead and putter with your 
                         hands. That's all right. How do 
                         you do it?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Well sir, I'll show you.

               He demonstrates, touching objects on a table and blowing 
               dust off a lampshade.

                                     SMYTHE
                         That's puttering, sir.

                                     STEW
                         No! Well, well, well! That's all 
                         right, if you like it. Can anybody 
                         do that?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Oh no, sir. Some people are natural 
                         putterers. Others can never master 
                         it.

                                     STEW
                         Oh my. You mean, some people are 
                         born and never will become 
                         putterers?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes sir.

                                     STEW
                         Oh my, wouldn't that be tragic? To 
                         know that you could never be a 
                         putterer.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes sir.

                                     STEW
                         How about me?  Do you think if I 
                         concentrated and put my whole soul 
                         into it, that some day I might be 
                         a putterer?

                                     SMYTHE
                         You sir? Uh-uh. You could never be 
                         a putterer. Not a good putterer, 
                         sir.

                                     STEW
                         Well, if I couldn't be a good 
                         putterer, I wouldn't want to putter. 
                         But why? What makes you think I 
                         couldn't be a good putterer?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Well sir, to be a putterer, one's 
                         mind must be at ease. A person 
                         with a problem could never be a 
                         putterer. For instance, sir, a 
                         fish can putter in water but not 
                         on land because he'd be out of 
                         place. An eagle can putter around 
                         a rugged mountaintop but not in a 
                         cage, because he'd be restless and 
                         unhappy. Now sir, if you will pardon 
                         me, with all due respect, sir, as 
                         a Smythe to a Smith, you are an 
                         eagle in a cage.

                                     STEW
                         A bird in a gilded cage?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Yes.

                                     STEW
                         That's all I wanted to know!

               Stew rushes off upstairs. Smythe gives the echo one last 
               try.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               INT. STEW'S ROOM

               187. MEDIUM SHOT

               As Stew makes a telephone call.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Gallagher old pal. How are 
                         you, old pal?

               INT. GALLAGHER'S ROOM - NIGHT

               188. MEDIUM SHOT

               A simple room, probably in a boarding house or cheap hotel. 
               Gallagher is on the phone. A typewriter stands nearby.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Oh, hello Stew. I'm pretty good, 
                         can't complain. How's our gentleman 
                         of leisure?

               CONTINUATION SCENE 187

               Stew at phone.

                                     STEW
                         I'm on the coast of Norway and I 
                         can't get out - will you come and 
                         get me out of the coast of Norway?

               CONTINUATION SCENE 188

               Gallagher at phone.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Oh, your play. Hmmm, Act One, Scene 
                         One: Coast of Norway - and then a 
                         lot of blank. Is that it?

               CONTINUATION SCENE 187

               Stew at phone.

                                     STEW
                         Yeah. Come on, don't be silly.
                              (pause)
                         All right, if you feel like you 
                         need a chaper-one, call up Hank. 
                         Yeah. You'll find him at Joe's, no 
                         doubt. Yeah. Hank would be my idea 
                         of a perfect bodyguard.
                              (pause)
                         Sure you would. I knew I could 
                         depend on you, old pal. Snap it 
                         up, will you, Gallagher?

               CONTINUATION SCENE 188

               Gallagher at phone.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Okay.

               She hangs up, joyful at the prospect of seeing Stew. She 
               hums softly to herself as she picks up the receiver again.

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT

               189. MED. SHOT

               SOUND - BELL RINGING

               Stew comes out of the library. Smythe is going down the 
               hall. Stew intercepts him.

                                     STEW
                         Smythe, I'll get this. I'm expecting 
                         some friends.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Very good, sir.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               At entrance door. Stew enters and opens it. Gallagher and 
               Hank enter.

                                     STEW
                         Well, Gallagher! Glad to see you.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Hello, Stew.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Hank. How are you?

                                     HANK
                         Fine, but kinda thirsty.

                                     STEW
                         Come right in - I'll get you a 
                         drink.

                                     HANK
                         Okay - you remember Joe—

                                     STEW
                         Sure.

                                     HANK
                         I sort of invited him along to 
                         bend an elbow. You don't mind, do 
                         you?

                                     STEW
                         It's all right. Bring him in.

               Joe appears in the open doorway. Stew sees him.

                                     HANK
                         Come in, Joe. It's all right.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Joe.

                                     JOE
                         Hello kid, how are you? Glad to 
                         see you.

               Stew starts to close the door.

                                     JOE
                         Just a minute - Johnson's outside. 
                         You don't mind if he comes in and 
                         dips a beak do you?

                                     STEW
                         No, no, bring him in. The more the 
                         merrier.

                                     JOE
                         Come on in!

               Johnson appears in the open doorway. Stew sees him.

                                     STEW
                         Hello, Johnson.

                                     JOHNSON
                         Hello, Stew, old pal. How are you?

                                     STEW
                         Glad to see you. Come in, kid.

               Stew starts to close the door.

                                     JOHNSON
                         Wait a minute. I got two of the 
                         boys I brought along - they were 
                         cruising around with nothing to 
                         do. You don't mind if I bring them 
                         in?

                                     STEW
                         You brought two of the boys? That's 
                         all right. Bring them in. What's 
                         the difference?

               The two enter, followed in a single file by 12-14 men and 
               women, all of whom greet Stew as they enter, ad-libbing 
               hello's and hand-shakes. Stew stares at them dumbfoundedly.

               MEDIUM FULL SHOT

               They swarm into the hallway and overflow into the rooms on 
               either side. The butler stands aghast at this invasion.  
               Stew starts to close the door when three or four more troop 
               in, shouting cheery greetings. Stew regards them in 
               amazement.

               CLOSER SHOT - STEW

               As he watches them file past.

                                     STEW
                         I'm sorry nobody could come.

                                     HANK
                         The rest of the gang had to get 
                         out the morning edition - but 
                         they'll be down later.

                                     STEW
                         Now Hank, are you sure they're 
                         coming?  It will be lonesome without 
                         them.
                              (to Smythe)
                         Smythe, take this crowd in there 
                         and give them a drink. And find 
                         out what the boys in the back room 
                         want!

               Smythe gulps nervously, as he is dragged off by the 
               revellers.

               INT. SCHUYLER DRAWING ROOM

               193. FULL SHOT

               The gang have taken seriously Stew's suggestion that they 
               make themselves at home. They have draped themselves about 
               the place - a couple are strumming on the piano and others 
               are inspecting the room in awe-struck attitudes. Smythe is 
               being propelled around the room by the revellers.

                                     SMYTHE
                         It isn't done, gentlemen! It isn't 
                         done, I say! It isn't done!

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL

               194. MEDIUM SHOT - GALLAGHER AND STEW

                                     STEW
                         Well, Gallagher, you certainly 
                         took no chances, did you?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I'm sorry, Stew. I asked Hank, and 
                         Hank did the rest.

                                     STEW
                         I see. Hank brought them all. That's 
                         all right. We'll give them a drink 
                         and throw 'em out. How's that?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Okay.

                                     STEW
                              (as Smythe passes 
                              by, being propelled 
                              by revellers)
                         Smythe! Give them one drink and 
                         throw 'em out!

                                     SMYTHE
                              (dazed)
                         Yes, sir.

               Bingy pokes his head in the door, wearing a false beard.

                                     STEW
                              (spotting him)
                         Is there a green elephant standing 
                         beside that bwana?

                                     BINGY
                         No, it's just little Bingy Baker.

               Stew rolls up his sleeves, preparatory to launching a punch.

                                     BINGY
                              (warningly)
                         Uh-uh.

               Bingy dons a pair of glasses, and points to them 
               meaningfully. He enters, cautiously, watching Stew warily.

                                     BINGY
                              (striking a pose)
                         Big Chief Bingy come to white man's 
                         tepee to make friends. Big Chief 
                         very sorry. To show how sorry - 
                         will bend over and let white man 
                         kick Big Chief where sun never 
                         shines.

                                     STEW
                         Excuse me, Gallagher. I wouldn't 
                         miss this one for the world.

               He bends over, and Stew winds up and delivers a hard kick 
               to his backside. Bingy straightens stiffly, then removes a 
               bottle of alcohol from the target area.

                                     BINGY
                         Fire water all right.
                              (he takes a drink)

               Both start laughing.

                                     BINGY
                         Well, Stew, that's all thrashed 
                         out. By golly, I'm surely glad to 
                         see that you're not really sore. 
                         You know our racket - after all, 
                         news is news.

                                     STEW
                         Sure, sure. That's all right. That 
                         was a great story, Bingy. A great 
                         story - wish I'd printed it.

                                     BINGY
                         I gave you the breaks, didn't I? 
                         That hairy chest story!

                                     STEW
                              (indicating Bingy's 
                              false beard)
                         You've raised it up to the chin, I 
                         see.
                              (laughs)
                         Go on in the other room and get 
                         yourself a drink.

               Bingy emits a war-whoop and proceeds into the drawing room, 
               where Smythe is still being held hostage by the party.

               195. CLOSER SHOT

               Gallagher and Stew.

                                     STEW
                         You know what I should do with 
                         you? I should sock you right in 
                         that funny little nose.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yes - and I'd love it.

                                     SMYTHE
                         Sure, you'd love it.

               He draws her out of the entrance hall, and the CAMERA MOVES 
               WITH THEM as they head upstairs, the party around them 
               going in full force.

               INT. STEW'S SITTING ROOM

               196. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew and Gallagher enter. Apparently they have been talking 
               about Stew's play on the way upstairs.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         How far have you gotten?

                                     STEW
                         Well, I've just been able to get 
                         off that Norway coast - so far.

               Stew gestures toward the typewriter from which a sheet of 
               paper is protruding. Gallagher crosses to it. She rolls up 
               the sheet so she can read what is typed on it.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (reading)
                         'Act One - Scene One - A Street in 
                         Old Madrid—'

               She turns as Stew walks over to her.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (smiling)
                         Well, you're not getting your play 
                         done, but you're certainly covering 
                         a lot of territory.

                                     STEW
                              (grins)
                         Haven't I covered some territory? 
                         It feels like I've been on a Cook's 
                         Tour[18] some place.

               CLOSER TWO SHOT

               Stew, standing before her.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (seriously)
                         Stewart, have you ever been to Old 
                         Madrid?

                                     STEW
                              (grinning in spite 
                              of himself)
                         Been where?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         To Old Madrid.

                                     STEW
                         Never even been to New Madrid.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Then how do you expect to write 
                         about it?

                                     STEW
                         Oh - draw on my imagination, I 
                         suppose.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Did Conrad draw on his imagination?

               Stew is brought up with a start.

                                     STEW
                         Did who?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Conrad.

                                     STEW
                         What do you know about Conrad?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I don't know a thing about him, 
                         but isn't he the one you're always 
                         yelling about?

               Stew is noticeably impressed with this point of view.

                                     STEW
                         Gosh, you look cute.

               Gallagher warms up to her subject.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Isn't he the one that always writes 
                         about things - only the things he 
                         knows about?

                                     STEW
                         Right.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Didn't he go to sea before he wrote 
                         about it?

                                     STEW
                         Right.

               198. MEDIUM SHOT

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Then why don't you write about 
                         something you know?  Write about 
                         yourself and Anne. The poor boy 
                         who marries a rich girl - now 
                         there's a swell theme.

                                     STEW
                         Gee, that's an idea, Gallagher. 
                         That's an idea there. I wonder 
                         now...

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Oh, sure. She'd make a beautiful 
                         heroine...

                                     STEW
                              (warming up - he 
                              puts arm around 
                              Gallagher's shoulder)
                         And there's her mother - and what 
                         a character that old dame would 
                         make with her double-strength - 
                         and that lawyer friend of theirs -
                         he'd make a great villain - and 
                         there's you!

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (smiling)
                         What could I be?

                                     STEW
                         You could be something.
                              (inspiration 
                              striking, he dashes 
                              to the typewriter)
                         I've got an idea, Gallagher. Let's 
                         get this set. That's a great idea 
                         for a play. Pal, get me a cigarette, 
                         will you?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Here you are.

                                     STEW
                         All right, thanks. Now, let's see. 
                         How will I start? Hey pal, how 
                         would you start?

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. SCHUYLER ENTRANCE HALL

               MED. FULL SHOT

               Shooting through into the drawing room. It is many hours 
               later. The members of the party, including Smythe, are 
               pretty well lit. On the floor of the entrance hall a dice 
               game is in progress. In the drawing room four or five are 
               hanging over the piano singing "The Grasshopper Jumped 
               Over Another Grasshopper's Back."

               In general, a large time is being had. As the scene opens 
               a door-bell is ringing. A key is heard in the lock.

               200. CLOSER SHOT - GROUP - IN ENTRANCE HALL

               The outer door starts to swing open. One of the party 
               guests, very wall-eyed now, and carrying a whiskey bottle 
               in his hand, staggers toward the door. It opens wider, and 
               Anne and Mrs. Schuyler and Dexter Grayson stand gasping in 
               the opening. The guest comes up to them.

                                     GUEST
                              (starting to close 
                              door)
                         Say, you can't come in here - this 
                         is a private party.

               Anne pushes the door violently, which sends the guest 
               sprawling. He stays where he lands, holding the bottle in 
               both arms across his chest. Anne and her mother advance 
               into a CLOSE SHOT and look off with incredulous horror and 
               amazement.

               201. MEDIUM SHOT

               On a drunk Bingy as he peers at them from an alcove above.

                                     BINGY
                              (recognizing Grayson)
                         Hey, my old classmate from Harvard!  
                         Whoopee! Harvard, '98!
                              (spotting Mrs. 
                              Schuyler)
                         Hello, mama!

               202. MEDIUM SHOT

               Most are too cock-eyed or too engrossed in the ongoing 
               crap game to notice them.

                                     DEXTER
                         I know who's the cause of it all!

                                     ANNE
                         Oh, Dexter!

               One of the men wanders in from the drawing room in time to 
               hear this conversation. He assumes an attitude of 
               exaggerated courtesy and gallantry as he bows before them.

               Anne and her mother are almost bursting with fury. They 
               spot Smythe, across the room, thoroughly in his cups.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (to butler)
                         Smythe! Smythe - who are these 
                         people?

               Smythe comes stumbling up, a grin plastered on his face.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (thoroughly plastered)
                         Friends of mine. Very lit-lit-
                         literary people.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (confidentially, to 
                              Mrs. Schuyler)
                         He's drunk.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (aghast)
                         Smythe, you've been drinking.

                                     SMYTHE
                              (proudly)
                         I have. Double-strength!

                                     GRAYSON
                              (confidentially)
                         Very drunk.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                              (indignant)
                         Where is Mr. Smith?

                                     SMYTHE
                         Well, for crying out loud, I don't 
                         know. And I don't care. Whoopee!

               He jubilantly exits scene.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (confidentially)
                         Very, very drunk.

               INT. STEW'S SITTING ROOM

               203. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew gets to his feet as an idea strikes him.

                                     STEW
                         Now Gallagher, if we could only 
                         get a great scene - a tremendously 
                         emotional scene - something that 
                         would just wring the hearts out of 
                         the public - to bring the curtain 
                         down in the second act - that would 
                         be okay. Couldn't dig one out of 
                         your hat some place, could you?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Nope - afraid I'm all out of tricks 
                         tonight.

                                     STEW
                         Now, we've got it right up to where 
                         the boy's wearing his white spats 
                         and going to teas and the frau 
                         enters - how's that?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Very good.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               At the partially opened door into the hall. It opens wider, 
               and Anne looks in. She stares in horrified amazement.

               205. MEDIUM SHOT (FROM HER ANGLE)

               Gallagher, her shoes off, sprawled out on the chaise longue, 
               stretches luxuriously and yawns. CAMERA PANS TO Stew at 
               the typewriter, hair mussed, coffee pot and cups prominent, 
               the dressing gown over the back of his chair. Neither of 
               them has seen Anne.

               CONTINUATION SCENE 204

               Anne. She gasps as she quietly steps further into the room.

               CLOSE SHOT - GALLAGHER

               Gallagher, caught in the midst of a grand stretch, sits up 
               abruptly, startled. She stares uncomfortably off at Anne.

               CLOSE SHOT - STEW

               At the typewriter. He glances up momentarily and very 
               absently, and goes right on typing.

                                     STEW
                              (absently)
                         Oh hello, Anne– He types furiously.

                                     ANNE
                              (tight-lipped)
                         Good morning. What does this mean?

               Stewart looks up surprised at the tone of her voice.

                                     STEW
                         What does what mean?

               MEDIUM SHOT - THE THREE

               Gallagher, sensing scene, starts hastily looking for her 
               shoes. One of them has been shoved under the chaise longue 
               and she has to get down on her hands and knees to retrieve 
               it. Anne comes in and confronts them, her hands on her 
               hips.

                                     STEW
                         Oh, that mob downstairs. I guess I 
                         got so interested in the play I 
                         forgot all about them.

                                     ANNE
                         I see.

                                     STEW
                         Have we got a play, Anne? Oh, have 
                         we got a play!  Of course most of 
                         it is Gallagher's. She did most of 
                         it. That brain of hers just snaps 
                         like that all the time.

               He indicates by snapping his fingers. Gallagher quietly 
               gathers up her things, apprehensive of the storm about to 
               break.

                                     ANNE
                              (coldly)
                         I'm not interested in the way her 
                         brain snaps.

               Stew stares at Anne as Gallagher, her hat in her hand, her 
               coat over her arm, starts for the door.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         I think I better go, Stew.

                                     ANNE
                         I think you should, Miss Gallagher.

                                     STEW
                         Wait a minute, Gallagher.

               Gallagher stops, transfixed by the new tone in his voice. 
               He comes over to Anne.

               209. CLOSE TWO SHOT - ANNE AND STEW

                                     STEW
                         What's the idea, Anne?

                                     ANNE
                         The idea is simply this - that I 
                         want those people to leave here 
                         immediately.

                                     STEW
                         Now wait a minute. Aren't you being 
                         a little unreasonable?

                                     ANNE
                         Unreasonable!  Have you any idea 
                         what the place looks like 
                         downstairs? Do you expect me to 
                         stand here and see this place turned 
                         into a cheap barroom?

                                     STEW
                         Now wait, don't get excited, Anne. 
                         There's no reason for that. Perhaps 
                         the boys have had a little too 
                         much to drink. That's all right. 
                         I'm sorry. I'll go right down and 
                         throw them out. That's no reason 
                         for you to take this attitude. 
                         After all, I certainly have a right 
                         to invite a few of my friends to 
                         my house, haven't I?

                                     ANNE
                              (pointedly)
                         Your house?

                                     STEW
                              (getting the 
                              implication; after 
                              a pause)
                         O-o-oh, I get you—
                              (a knowing chuckle)
                         All right. All right. I don't blame 
                         you. I kinda forgot myself for a 
                         moment, there. That's what I call 
                         getting me told, isn't it, Anne?

               Anne remains silent. That's exactly what she has done.

                                     STEW
                         I suppose I've been boarding out 
                         this past year.

               210. MEDIUM SHOT

               He takes his coat off back of chair and slips into it.

                                     STEW
                              (quietly; grimly)
                         All right, I'll tell you this—I 
                         don't like your boarding house, 
                         lady—

               As he gathers up loose manuscript, he continues . . .

                                     STEW
                         —and if it's all the same to you, 
                         I'm moving out.

                                     ANNE
                         Stewart!

                                     STEW
                              (hotly)
                         This is something I should have 
                         done a long time ago, only I didn't 
                         have sense enough to do it. No, I 
                         had to stick around here to try 
                         and make a success of something 
                         that I knew darn well was a failure 
                         from the very beginning. But no 
                         more. No more! So that's that.

                                     ANNE
                         You can't walk out of here like 
                         this.

               Throughout the scene, Stew is gathering his things 
               together—and probably packing an overnight bag.

                                     STEW
                         Oh I can't? Who's going to stop 
                         me?  I'd like to see somebody stop 
                         me. If you think I'm going to stick 
                         around this joint just to look at 
                         this mausoleum, not on your life!  
                         You're going to make no stuffed 
                         shirt out of me. Now what do you 
                         think of that?

               Mrs. Schuyler stalks majestically in.

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         What's going on here? Who is this 
                         woman?

                                     STEW
                              (snappily)
                         Joan of Arc! What's it to you?

                                     MRS. SCHUYLER
                         Heavens! The man's insane!

               CLOSEUP - STEW

                                     STEW
                         Sure I'm insane, but I've got some 
                         good news for you.
                              (points to himself)
                         This magnolia is leaving your sweet 
                         smelling vanilla joint. This bird 
                         in a cage is gonna button his own 
                         pants from now on. And that is 
                         what is known as telling the mother-
                         in-law.

               Gallagher's cry of joy is cut off by an icy look from Mrs. 
               Schuyler.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Eurek—!

               212. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew is stuffing things into a bag.

                                     STEW
                              (heatedly to Anne)
                         You've done nothing but watch me - 
                         watch me! - ever since I've been 
                         here. Treated me like a thug, 
                         watched me like a hawk, mistrusted 
                         me. Every time I leave the house, 
                         that Jane—
                              (indicating Mrs. 
                              Schuyler)
                         —goes out and counts the silverware.

                                     ANNE
                         That's ridiculous.

                                     STEW
                         Fine!  I don't blame her. I know 
                         I'm out of my own crowd. I should 
                         have had better sense in the 
                         beginning. But I'll stay in my own 
                         backyard from now on.

                                     ANNE
                         You're acting like a child.

                                     STEW
                         All right, I'm a child. Have it 
                         any way you want. But I'm going 
                         back to my own apartment, where I 
                         should have lived in the first 
                         place. But no, I got to listen to 
                         you and move here. All right. If 
                         you want to live with me, Anne, 
                         okay. But the sign outside will 
                         say "Mr. Stew Smith" and you'll 
                         have to be "Mrs. Stew Smith" or 
                         there's nothing doing. No more 
                         Anne Schuyler's husband—He has his 
                         bag all packed by this time. He 
                         snaps it shut viciously, lifts it 
                         off the chair, picks up his hat, 
                         and notices Mrs. Schuyler staring 
                         open-mouthed at him.
                              (to Mrs. Schuyler, 
                              pointedly)
                         —and here's some more news for 
                         you. You can take your red room, 
                         your green room, your left wing 
                         and your right wing, and you know 
                         what you can do with them!
                              (to Gallagher)
                         Come on, Gallagher.

               He brushes by Mrs. Schuyler and Anne, exiting.

                                     ANNE
                              (exasperated)
                         Oh, Stewart!

               EXT. SCHUYLER HOME - NIGHT

               213. MEDIUM SHOT

               Stew and Gallagher appear, coming through the iron gates.

               MEDIUM MOVING SHOT

               As Stew and Gallagher move off down the street, a ragged 
               old panhandler comes wheedling up to them.

                                     PANHANDLER
                         Pardon me, could you spare a dime 
                         for a cup of coffee?

               Stew is struck by a sudden idea as he regards the bum 
               intently.

                                     STEW
                         Coffee? How would you like to be a 
                         Knight of the Garter?

                                     PANHANDLER
                              (stupidly)
                         Huh! No—

               Stew raises one foot, then the other, and quickly removes 
               the solid gold garters which he presses into the bum's 
               surprised hand.

                                     STEW
                              (as he removes the 
                              garters)
                         Just a minute.
                              (to Gallagher)
                         Entertain the gentleman, Gallagher.
                              (to the panhandler)
                         There you are, my man - with those 
                         you can eat for a couple of months.

               He walks away, leaving the bum staring dazedly at the 
               luxurious pair of garters.

                                     PANHANDLER
                              (an afterthought)
                         How about the socks?

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               As Stew and Gallagher pass the Camera and go down the 
               street, arm in arm. As they get past the Camera, Stew is 
               seen to square his shoulders and throw out his chest. He 
               shakes first one leg, and then the other, as if he were 
               throwing off shackles.

               CLOSER MOVING SHOT

               Stew and Gallagher moving along. Gallagher has a peculiar 
               expression as she glances at Stew. She has been deeply 
               affected by the scene she has just witnessed. Stew's face 
               is very thoughtful.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (comfortingly)
                         I wouldn't worry too much about 
                         it, Stew. She'll see it your way.

                                     STEW
                         Huh?
                              (snapping out of it)
                         Oh, I'm not worrying about her - 
                         I'm worrying about that second act 
                         curtain, that's all.

               Gallagher stares at him, realizing he is thinking more 
               about the play than his split-up with his wife. Then she 
               breaks into a grin.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Why, you're just a first-class 
                         chump!  You just staged a scene 
                         that would play like a million 
                         dollars!  How about that declaration 
                         of independence for the second act 
                         curtain?

               Stew stops stock still and stares at her.

                                     STEW
                              (almost reverently)
                         That's an idea, Gallagher - a great 
                         idea.

               Gallagher happily links her arm in his and again they move 
               down the street.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               FADE IN:

               INSERT: CLOSE SHOT OF NAME PLATE 
               STEW OVER DOORBELL "STEWART SMITH"

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INSERT: SHEET IN TYPEWRITER

               ON IT IS BEING TYPED:

               Act 3. Scene 1.

                                                        LAP DISSOLVE TO:

               INT. STEW'S APARTMENT - DAY - MED. FULL SHOT

               Inexpensive but comfortable. Stew is in his shirtsleeves. 
               A battered old typewriter stands on the table with a sheet 
               of blank paper in it. Stew is seated in a chair before it, 
               and is picking out the letters, typing. He pauses, running 
               up the roller to regard what he has written.

               INT. STEW'S KITCHENETTE - MED. SHOT

               Gallagher, in a little apron, is frying some ham and eggs. 
               She looks up as she sees Stew from the doorway.

                                     STEW
                         Hey, Gallagher!

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Yeah?

                                     STEW
                         How about my breakfast? How do you 
                         expect me to ring a curtain down 
                         on an empty stomach?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         It'll be ready in a minute.

                                     STEW
                              (accusingly)
                         Never mind that. If you can't get 
                         my breakfast ready - and can't get 
                         here on time in the morning - then 
                         you can go get yourself another 
                         job.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (in mock contrition)
                         Sorry, boss—

                                     STEW
                         Don't be sorry. Just get the 
                         breakfast, that's all.

               INT. STEW'S LIVING ROOM - MED. SHOT

               There is a knock on the hall door.

               Stew crosses and opens it.

               220. CLOSER SHOT

               As Stew opens the door. It reveals Dexter Grayson in the 
               little hallway, immaculately clad, as usual. Stew regards 
               him in frank surprise for a moment.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Hello, Smith.

                                     STEW
                              (puzzled)
                         Holy jumping swordfish!

                                     GRAYSON
                         I suppose you know why I came—?

                                     STEW
                         No, I have no idea - unless some 
                         of the silver-ware is missing.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Now don't be absurd, Smith—
                              (as he brushes past, 
                              walking inside)
                         May I come in?

                                     STEW
                         Surely, come right in.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (as he sits down)
                         Thanks. May I sit down?

                                     STEW
                         Surely, sit down. If I had known 
                         you were coming, I would have thrown 
                         you up a waffle.

                                     GRAYSON
                         I don't eat waffles.

                                     STEW
                         You don't.

               221. MED. SHOT

               Grayson sits stiffly on one of the Grand Rapids chairs. 
               Stew remains standing, and waits silently for Grayson to 
               speak. Grayson clears his throat.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Anne asked me to come and see you 
                         about the divorce.

                                     STEW
                              (with enlightened 
                              expression)
                         She did—?

                                     GRAYSON
                              (uncomfortably)
                         She wants me to arrange the 
                         financial settlement.

                                     STEW
                         Listen Grayson, I've got 106 bucks 
                         and 75 cents in the bank. Now Anne 
                         can have any part of that she wants, 
                         but she'd better hurry because I'm 
                         spending it awfully fast.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (interrupting)
                         You don't seem to understand. Anne 
                         doesn't expect anything from you.

               INT. STEW'S KITCHENETTE - MED. SHOT

               Gallagher. Overcome by curiosity at the sound of voices, 
               she leaves the frying eggs and goes quietly to the doorway 
               and peeks out.

               223. MED. SHOT

               Grayson and Stew.

                                     GRAYSON
                         We should like to know how much 
                         you would want to—

               Stew stares off incredulously.

                                     STEW
                              (interrupting)
                         Wait a minute. Do I get from you 
                         that she wants to pay me alimony?

                                     GRAYSON
                         That's putting it crudely, but—

               Stew starts advancing nervously toward him. Grayson, a bit 
               alarmed, rises.

                                     STEW
                              (closing in on him)
                         Remember what I told you about 
                         that twentieth crack? All right, 
                         you've just made it. Before you go 
                         unconscious I want you to get this 
                         through your nut.

                                     GRAYSON
                         I beg your pardon.

                                     STEW
                         Unconscious. You know, when you 
                         don't know anything. Your natural 
                         state. There are some people - you 
                         can't buy their self-respect for a 
                         bucket of shekels - well, I happen 
                         to be one of those guys.

               224. CLOSE SHOT

               Showing kitchen door open a crack. Gallagher's eyes are 
               glistening as she watches and listens.

               MED. CLOSE SHOT

               Stew and Grayson.

                                     GRAYSON
                              (weakly)
                         We just thought that—

                                     STEW
                              (snaps)
                         Don't think. Let me do all the 
                         thinking. Now you go back to that 
                         Schuyler outfit and tell them that 
                         I didn't marry that dame for her 
                         dough and I don't want any of her 
                         dough now. I was too poor to buy 
                         her a wedding present when we got 
                         married, so I'm giving her a divorce 
                         for a wedding present. Now, stand 
                         up!

               Grayson does so, completely intimidated by Stew's manner. 
               Stew grabs him by the lapel.

                                     GRAYSON
                         Yes.

                                     STEW
                         And now for that twentieth crack—

               Stew punches Grayson on chin and knocks him through the 
               open door into the hall.

               He slams door shut.

               226. WIDER SHOT

               Stew thrusts his hands into his pockets and walks 
               thoughtfully back to the typewriter.

               227. CLOSER SHOT

               Stew standing staring down at the typewriter. He is still 
               flushed with anger. Suddenly a thought strikes him, and 
               his face breaks into a broad grin. He sits down quickly, 
               and begins pounding away.

               228. MED. SHOT

               Gallagher enters from the kitchen, carrying a platter of 
               ham and eggs and a coffee pot. She sets them on a small 
               table and this is spread with a cloth. Then she crosses 
               over to Stew.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (pretending ignorance)
                         Who was that?

                                     STEW
                              (without looking up 
                              from his typing)
                         Grayson - Anne's lawyer.

                                     GALLAGHER
                         What did he want?

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher, that guy just dropped 
                         by to give us a great opening for 
                         the third act.

               They sit at the little table.

               229. CLOSER SHOT

                                     GALLAGHER
                         What was the idea he gave you?

               Stew dives into the ham and eggs.

                                     STEW
                         It's a swell idea, Gallagher. How's 
                         this?  The wife's family lawyer 
                         comes to see the kid, see - to 
                         talk over the divorce. Then this 
                         guy insults the poor but honest 
                         boy by offering him alimony - so 
                         the kid gets sore, socks the lawyer 
                         in the nose and throws him out. 
                         How's that for the beginning of 
                         the third act, huh?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         Well, from now on the play will be 
                         easy. All you have to do is bring 
                         the wife back, have her say she's 
                         sorry, and then your play's over.

               CLOSEUP - STEW

               He looks over at Gallagher with a peculiar expression.

                                     STEW
                              (vehemently - as he 
                              scoops out some 
                              melon)
                         What's the matter? Do you think 
                         I'm going to let that guy go back 
                         to his wife? Not on your life. 
                         He's got to go to the other girl.

               CLOSEUP - GALLAGHER

               She almost drops her coffee cup in a wild gleam of hope as 
               she looks back at him. Gallagher tries hard to keep her 
               voice steady.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (not sure of herself)
                         What other girl—?

               232. MED. CLOSE SHOT OF THE TWO

                                     STEW
                         The little O'Brien girl, of course - 
                         the one you suggested in the story.

                                     GALLAGHER
                              (ecstatic, but still 
                              fighting)
                         But that's ridiculous! You can't 
                         make a sudden change like that.

                                     STEW
                         Gallagher, what are you going to 
                         do - tell me how to write a play?

                                     GALLAGHER
                         No.

                                     STEW
                         There's nothing sudden about that—
                              (tensely)
                         He's always loved the girl, but he 
                         was such a sap he didn't have sense 
                         enough to tell her. Well, that's 
                         all right - we can fix that. He 
                         will go to the little O'Brien girl, 
                         and - here, I'll show you.

               He gets to his feet, and comes around to her.

               CLOSE TWO SHOT

               Gallagher watches him a bit uncertainly.

                                     STEW
                              (tenderly)
                         He goes to the little O'Brien gal 
                         and he says to her - in some pretty 
                         words of some kind - something 
                         that you can write - he'll say—
                              (as if reading part - 
                              very emotional)
                         Darling, I'm sorry. I've been a 
                         fool all my life. I've always loved 
                         you, only I didn't have sense enough 
                         to see it. As quick as I can get a 
                         divorce from my wife, I want you 
                         to marry me. Then she'll look at 
                         him that way - yeah - then they'll 
                         embrace, or something like that.
                              (they draw closer)
                         Then he'll kiss her, or something.

               To demonstrate the point, Stew takes her in his arms and 
               kisses her. They hold the kiss longer than is justified. 
               Stew is swept away by his sudden emotion and clings to her 
               desperately, while Gallagher's arms instinctively go around 
               his neck.

               Gallagher chokes back tears that persist in coming. She 
               stifles a sob. Stew folds her in his arms.

                                     STEW
                              (tenderly)
                         What's the matter, Gallagher? What's 
                         the matter?

               Gallagher buries her face in his shoulders.

                                                               FADE OUT:

               THE END